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8 Healing Crystals You Need To Feel More At Peace

You've got the power.

Wellness

At this point, we've all lost count on how many days we are in quarantine. As the days seem longer and longer, you quickly run out of things to do. You notice that you are under extreme stress and anxiety being trapped within your home with no deadline. You've cleaned your clutter, washed your car, made and tried new dishes, helped your children with every sheet of homework, and binge-watched over 400 hours of Netflix, and you realize that that isn't enough to remove this anxiousness. Half of the population is at work, and the other half are at home quarantining. At times, we subconsciously allow our minds to get flooded with information on social media that isn't useful to us.

I've personally had my bouts with insomnia, anxiety, and panic attacks, which in turn has led me to get prescribed anxiety and panic attack medication after two years of not needing any medication. After researching different ways to combat being on edge, I discovered that adding crystals to your daily routine can improve mental clarity, attract love, increase motivation, and calm you down. Check out those healing crystals below.

Aventurine

Green aventurin and heliotrope gemstones

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This crystal is considered the lucky charm when it comes to abundance and success. If you are striving to take on a leadership role or anticipate a promotion, this crystal will provide the focus and clarity you would need. Its purpose is to release old patterns, habits, and disappointments for something new to take its place. Green aventurine will help you attract money and manifest abundance, so get to that bag sis. This crystal provides emotional safety and security.

Lepidolite

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If you are having trouble with harmony and balance, then lepidolite is the crystal for you. Largely considered a stablizing crystal, the lepidolite's job is to help guide your thoughts before actions by enhancing your awareness. If you suffer from anxiety like myself, having this crystal around can alleviate that anxiety by achieving balance in the mind, body and spirit. The crystal's calm vibes are the perfect remedy for whatever day-to-day stress you might encounter.

Sodalite

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Known for its etheral energy, sodalite crystal allows you to open the window of communication and inspiration by tapping into your sense of self-expression. Sodalite acts as a vessel for enlightenment as it aids you with releasing any negative emotions or fears that are not serving you and replace it with restorative feelings of balance and harmony.

Black Tourmaline

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If you've had enough and want to rebuke that negativity in the name of Jesus, then it is strongly suggested that you get a Black Tourmaline. Its purpose is to absorb that negative energy, purify it, and transform that lower vibration to a more pleasant one. Think of this crystal like your liver. It is constantly filtering out the bad and replacing it with the good. This crystal sharpens your memory and makes you laser-focused. Whenever you're feeling unsure, sad, or dealing with bouts of depression, this crystal helps you manage those emotions.

Blue Lace Agate

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The Blue Lace Agate crystal is a healing crystal commonly affiliated with stress relief. It's an effective channel for opening up the heart chakra and helping one return to joy. Blue Lace Agate crystal helps to wash away negative emotions like fear and anxiety. This crystal relieves stress and brings to its user a sense of clarity and tranquility in its place.

Carnelian

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The Carnelian crystal awakens your self-confidence by giving you a boost of courage. As a healing crystal, it is said to act as a remedy for stressful situations by improving blood circulation. Carnelian crystals can also be used with Rose Quartz to help you connect more with your romantic side. Alone, carnelian can help balance your sexual energy.

Apophyllite

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If you need a "this too shall pass" crystal, then apophyllite is your girl. When the light hits this beautiful crystal in the sunlight, it welcomes all positive energy. It invites high vibrations that in turn remedies your negative feelings of stress, worry, fear and anxiety. This crystal reminds me of a waterfall; it will continuously recycle the light and positive energy throughout your mind, body and spirit.

Rose Quartz

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Rose Quartz is the most popular crystal of the list as everyone seems to be familiar with this crystal. As the healing crystal of universal love, Rose Quartz is known for its restorative properties in the realm of love and relationships. It opens the heart to receive love, self-love, peace and inner healing.

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Mental health awareness is at an all-time high with many of us seeking self-improvement and healing with the support of therapists. Tucked away in cozy offices, or in the comfort of our own homes, millions of women receive the tools needed to navigate our emotions, relate to those around us, or simply exist in a judgment-free space.

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You may not know her by Elisabeth Ovesen – writer and host of the love, sex and relationships advice podcast Asking for a Friend. But you definitely know her other alter ego, Karrine Steffans, the New York Times best-selling author who lit up the literary and entertainment world when she released what she called a “tell some” memoir, Confessions of a Video Vixen.

Her 2005 barn-burning book gave an inside look at the seemingly glamorous world of being a video vixen in the ‘90s and early 2000s, and exposed the industry’s culture of abuse, intimidation, and misogyny years before the Me Too Movement hit the mainstream. Her follow-up books, The Vixen Diaries (2007) and The Vixen Manual: How To Find, Seduce And Keep The Man You Want (2009) all topped the New York Times best-seller list. After a long social media break, she's back. xoNecole caught up with Ovesen about the impact of her groundbreaking book, what life is like for her now, and why she was never “before her time”– everyone else was just late to the revolution.

xoNecole: Tell me about your new podcast Asking for a Friend with Elisabeth Ovesen and how that came about.

Elisabeth Ovesen: I have a friend who is over [at Blavity] and he just asked me if I wanted to do something with him. And that's just kinda how it happened. It wasn't like some big master plan. Somebody over there was like, “Hey, we need content. We want to do this podcast. Can you do it?” And I was like, “Sure.” And that's that. That was around the holidays and so we started working on it.

xoNecole: Your life and work seem incredibly different from when you first broke out on the scene. Can you talk a bit about the change in your career and how your life is now?

EO: Not that different. I mean my life is very different, of course, but my work isn't really that different. My life is different, of course, because I'm 43. My career started when I was in my 20s, so we're looking at almost 20 years since the beginning of my career. So, naturally life has changed a lot since then.

I don’t think my career has changed a whole lot – not as far as my writing is concerned, and my stream of consciousness with my writing, and my concerns and the subject matter hasn’t changed much. I've always written about interpersonal relationships, sexual shame, male ego fragility, respectability politics – things like that. I always put myself in the center of that to make those points, which I think were greatly missed when I first started writing. I think that society has changed quite a bit. People are more aware. People tell me a lot that I have always been “before my time.” I was writing about things before other people were talking about that; I was concerned about things before my generation seemed to be concerned about things. I wasn't “before my time.” I think it just seems that way to people who are late to the revolution, you know what I mean?

I retired from publishing in 2015, which was always the plan to do 10 years and retire. I was retired from my pen name and just from the business in general in 2015, I could focus on my business, my education and other things, my family. I came back to writing in 2020 over at Medium. The same friend that got me into the podcast, actually as the vice president of content over at Medium and was like, “Hey, we need some content.” I guess I’m his go-to content creator.

xoNecole: Can you expound on why you went back to your birth name versus your stage name?

EO: No, it was nothing to expound upon. I mean, writers have pen names. That’s like asking Diddy, why did he go by Sean? I didn't go back. I've always used that. Nobody was paying attention. I've never not been myself. Karrine Steffans wrote a certain kind of book for a certain kind of audience. She was invented for the urban audience, particularly. She was never meant to live more than 10 years. I have other pen names as well. I write under several names. So, the other ones are just nobody's business right now. Different pen names write different things. And Elisabeth isn’t my real name either. So you'll never know who I really am and you’ll never know what my real name is, because part of being a writer is, for me at least, keeping some sort of anonymity. Anything I do in entertainment is going to amass quite a bit because who I am as a person in my private life isn't the same a lot of times as who I am publicly.

xoNecole: I want to go back to when you published Confessions of a Video Vixen. We are now in this time where people are reevaluating how the media mistreated women in the spotlight in the 2000s, namely women like Britney Spears. So I’d be interested to hear how you feel about that period of your life and how you were treated by the media?

EO: What I said earlier. I think that much of society has evolved quite a bit. When you look back at that time, it was actually shocking how old-fashioned the thinking still was. How women were still treated and how they're still treated now. I mean, it hasn't changed completely. I think that especially for the audience, I think it was shocking for them to see a woman – a woman of color – not be sexually ashamed.

I hate being like other people. I don't want to do what anyone else is doing. I can't conform. I will not conform. I think in 2005 when Confessions was published, that attitude, especially about sex, was very upsetting. Number one, it was upsetting to the men, especially within urban and hip-hop culture, which is built on misogyny and thrives off of it to this day. And the women who protect these men, I think, you know, addressing a demographic that is rooted in trauma that is rooted in sexual shame, trauma, slavery of all kinds, including slavery of the mind – I think it triggered a lot of people to see a Black woman be free in this way.

I think it said a lot about the people who were upset by it. And then there were some in “crossover media,” a lot of white folks were upset too, not gonna lie. But to see it from Black women – Tyra Banks was really upset [when she interviewed me about Confessions in 2005]. Oprah wasn't mad [when she interviewed me]. As long as Oprah wasn’t mad, I was good. I didn't care what anybody else had to say. Oprah was amazing. So, watching Black women defend men, and Black women who had a platform, defend the sexual blackmailing of men: “If you don't do this with me, you won't get this job”; “If you don't do this in my trailer, you're going to have to leave the set”– these are things that I dealt with.

I just happened to be the kind of woman who, because I was a single mother raising my child all by myself and never got any help at all – which I still don't. Like, I'm 24 in college – not a cheap college either – one of the best colleges in the country, and I'm still taking care of him all by myself as a 21-year-old, 20-year-old, young, single mother with no family and no support – I wasn’t about to say no to something that could help me feed my son for a month or two or three.

xoNecole: We are in this post-Me Too climate where women in Hollywood have come forward to talk about the powerful men who have abused them. In the music industry in particular, it seems nearly impossible for any substantive change or movement to take place within music. It's only now after three decades of allegations that R. Kelly has finally been convicted and other men like Russell Simmons continue to roam free despite the multiple allegations against him. Why do you think it's hard for the music industry to face its reckoning?

EO: That's not the music industry, that's urban music. That’s just Black folks who make music and nobody cares about that. That's the thing; nobody cares...Nobody cares. It's not the music industry. It's just an "urban" thing. And when I say "urban," I say that in quotations. Literally, it’s a Black thing, where nobody gives a shit what Black people do to Black people. And Russell didn't go on unchecked, he just had enough money to keep it quiet. But you know, anytime you're dealing with Black women being disrespected, especially by Black men, nobody gives a shit.

And Black people don't police themselves so it doesn't matter. Why should anybody care? And Black women don't care. They'll buy an R. Kelly album right now. They’ll stream that shit right now. They don’t care. So, nobody cares. Nobody cares. And if you're not going to police yourself, then nobody's ever going to care.

xoNecole: Do you have any regrets about anything you wrote or perhaps something you may have omitted?

EO: Absolutely not. No. There's nothing that I wish I would've gone back and said to myself, no. I don’t think at 20-something years old, I'm supposed to understand every little thing. I don't think the 20-something-year-old woman is supposed to understand the world and know exactly what she's doing. I think that one of my biggest regrets, which isn't my regret, but a regret, is that I didn't have better parents. Because a 20-something only knows what she knows based on what she’s seen and what she’s been taught and what she’s told. I had shitty parents and a horrible family. Just terrible. These people had no business having children. None of them. And a lot of our families are like that. And we may pass down those familial curses.

*This interview has been edited and condensed

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Feature image courtesy of Elisabeth Ovesen

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