

Astrology is gaining new popularity with many beginning to acknowledge what our ancestors have realized for civilizations - that astrology can reveal an awful lot about our lives, our personalities, and our psyches. Sure, we're all pretty familiar with the personality types of certain signs, but did you know that astrology can also reveal insights about your relationships with certain people? Specifically, your moon sign can shed a ton of light on your relationship with your mother, for better and for worse!
Are you and your mother thick as thieves, or is your relationship with her strained? Can you tell her your deepest and darkest secrets, or do you find it difficult to be yourself around your mother? Are you the apple of your mother's eye, or do you feel like you were never able to really please her?
Knowing your moon sign can reveal a lot about the way you view the person who brought you into this world.
If you do not know your full birth chart, find your moon sign here and then check out the information below to get a glimpse inside of your and your mom's emotional dynamic.
What Your Moon Sign Can Reveal About Your Relationship with Your Mother
I. Moon In Aries:
If your moon is in Aries, your mom is the leader of her household. Growing up, you viewed her as brave, bold and fun-loving. She was fiery and knew exactly how to put others in their place, if needed. You respect her, but may have found her to be overbearing at times.
II. Moon In Taurus:
If your moon is in Taurus, your mom knew how to tend to all your creature comforts. She expressed love through food and the material nourishment she provided to you. She was a very hands-on, affectionate mother but also extremely headstrong and stubborn. Not the best at negotiating, your mom wants things to go her way or the highway!
III. Moon In Gemini:
If your moon is in Gemini, your mom is extremely expressive and intelligent. You felt most connected to her through words and your stimulating conversations with her. Her behavior, at times, seemed unreliable to you, but you admired her on an intellectual level. Always moving, you probably felt like she was difficult to pin down as a child.
IV. Moon In Cancer:
If your moon is in Cancer, you are the apple of your mother's eye. You love and care for her deeply. In fact, sometimes you served as a mother to her - comforting her and constantly expressing your understanding of her emotionally. You are extremely close - sometimes too close. Your mom tends to err on the clingy, over-mothering side.
Growing up, you sometimes felt like you needed more emotional and physical space from her. You share a psychic connection with your mother - it's easy for you to take on her emotions and moods as your own, for better and for worse.
V. Moon In Leo:
If your moon is in Leo, your mother has always been a large presence in your life. Growing up, you felt a pressure to present yourself a certain way in order to preserve your mother's reputation. You felt that the way you looked and behaved was a direct representation of your mom, so you had to stay sharp! Your mom was potentially someone of public note, someone that many people in your neighborhood or community knew very well.
VI. Moon In Virgo:
If your moon is in Virgo, you love your mother dearly and would move mountains for her. You are extremely protective and defensive of her. Your mother is your world. Though you've always needed her deeply, you sometimes felt like she was unable to be there for you in the ways that you yearned for. You've been aware of her shortcomings since birth; otherwise, you would have found her to be very nitpicking and critical of you.
VII. Moon In Libra:
Growing up, your mother was known for her attractiveness, fashion-sense, her ability to throw a fun party and the beautiful way in which she kept her home. If your moon is in Libra, it is likely that your mother was popular for her congenial and pleasant personality. Erring toward the formal and structured in your relationship, you've learned to establish specific roles in each other's lives, making sure not to over-step them in order to maintain peace and a sense of fairness between you both.
VIII. Moon In Scorpio:
Your mother has affected you in deep and profound ways; deeper than she or you may even realize. If your moon is in Scorpio, your relationship has gone through major transformations through the years. You've felt that she was, at times, out of tune with your emotions.
You wished and expected that she would be able to intuitively understand you. When she didn't, you may have felt somewhat abandoned by her.
IX. Moon In Sagittarius:
If your moon is in Sagittarius, you've always required freedom in life. If your mother respected this, you both enjoyed a fun-loving and adventurous relationship together. If she did not fully respect your desire for freedom, you may have felt unfairly held back or restricted growing up. Wise beyond your years, you may have perceived her to be immature and naive, learning to rely on your own judgement rather than hers.
X. Moon In Capricorn:
If your moon is in Capricorn, your mother has always been more concerned with the serious matters of life. She viewed you as mature and knew she could rely on you for support and sound judgment. Self-sacrificing, she always put work before play and constantly had tons on her plate. You sometimes wondered why she worked so hard and why she didn't take an easier approach to life. She held extremely high standards for you growing up. Favorably, she pushed you to be ambitious in pursuing your goals.
XI. Moon In Aquarius:
If your moon is in Aquarius, you've always viewed her as more of a peer than a parent. Being chastised by her felt unnatural and foreign to you - almost silly! Parenting was unconventional - you did not have the typical parent-child dynamic. You were raised to be emotionally self-sufficient and didn't rely on her for an overly emotional or affectionate relationship.
XII. Moon In Pisces:
If your moon is in Pisces, you share an extremely intuitive bond with your mother. You often took on her burdens and emotions as your own. You were extremely sympathetic to the things she went through in life and were mindful not to add anything else to her plate. You felt like her caretaker in certain ways. You loved her extremely deeply and would fight for her. You are keenly aware of all of the sacrifices she's made in life for you. You wish you were able to rely on her more as a child, and may have felt like you had to grow up much quicker than you would have liked.
What's your moon sign, and how would you describe your relationship with your mother?
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Originally published on May 7, 2021
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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