15 Lit Sex Scenes That Showcase Black Love At Its Finest
You gotta love Black love, especially when it's shown in its full, hot, sticky, magical lusciousness on the big screen through Black sex scenes. When we see ourselves loving on one another in ways that are passionate and real, we get the feels, not just because it's great to fantasize about replicating in real life---but because it humanizes our experiences and showcases a side of us that's not always fighting, suffering, or traumatized.
The memories of classic Black sex scenes on film and TV live forever. Here are 15 Black sex scenes to take you back and reignite the love and passion in your life:
'Moonlight'
When Kevin and Chiron shared their first kiss, validating feelings they'd had for each other and taking unspoken bonds to the next level, it was passionate and endearing. Kevin then pleasured Chiron via a hand job, which is another act of endearment that further solidified a gift of freedom in sexual identity that they could not fully reveal in their everyday lives. That scene from the 2016 Academy Award-winning film reminded us all of our own first time with a deep crush or connection from our teen years.
'The Photograph'
You gotta love a story of instant attraction between two creatives, and Micheal and Mae don't disappoint in this film. The journalist and art curator (respectively) enjoy a steamy romp during a New York City rainstorm, reminding us all how deliciously fun having a storm bae can be. And the fact that their love has a backdrop of Mae's mother's affair with the father she never knew adds that much more allure. (A close second in the favorite love scene category for this film is the one with her mother and father in 1980s New Orleans enjoying their first time to Luther Vandross and Cheryl Lynn's "If This World Were Mine.")
'Belly'
You've got thug-loving at its finest in this scene, and DMX showed us that doggy style means more than just barking in a rap song. Though his character in the film, Tommy Buns, had a very toxic relationship with his live-in bae Kiesha, played by the beautiful Taral Hicks, this scene made us all---OK maybe just me---think back on that one street dude you had to let go but who could have you climbing the walls and answering his calls a little longer than you should have.
'School Daze'
Tisha Campbell played Jane Toussaint, an HBCU student, and leader of the Gamma Rays, a social group that supported the fictional fraternity in the film, Gamma Phi Gamma. The frat's leader, Julian, was her bae (played by Giancarlo Esposito). There's a spicy scene in the film where the two take a break from stepping, party-planning, and being messy to get their freak on. Speaking of freaky, Jane goes as far as licking Julian's parted haircut, giving a whole new meaning to fetishes among undergrads. (When my girls and I saw this film for the first time as college freshmen, some were totally grossed out, others argued the feminist implications of a young woman doing such a thing, and the rest---including me---wondered whether there was indeed a fruit-flavored hair oil on the market for ... nevermind.
'Sylvie's Love'
This film, set in the 1960s, gives Carmen Jones vibes with a bit of edge. When Sylvie meets saxophonist Robert, it's love at first sight on a Harlem street, and things get much more sensual and romantic. Their first time making love is on a rooftop, and then they meet up again, years later, at New York's iconic Plaza Hotel. What adds to the appeal of the sex scenes between the two is the legendary jazz and R&B soundtrack and the nostalgic style of lingerie Sylvie wears, providing inspo for all of us to role play and get into a few 60s-inspired pieces ourselves.
'She's Gotta Have It'
We are so here for artist Nola, who identifies as a polyamorous bisexual, and her relationships with men and women that include wonderfully entertaining escapades in her "loving bed." One major relationship was the one she had with Opal, a single mother and a horticulturalist. The two explore not only physical awareness and intimacy but a deep personal connection, leading Nola to rethink her life and consider settling down. Good sex will do that to ya!
'Jason's Lyric'
When blue-collar Jason (played by Allen Payne) wanted to take Lyric (played by Jada Pinkett-Smith) out of the Houston hood and into a new life of love and infinite possibilities, we'd already fallen for him. When he commandeered a whole city bus to take her on a date, we swooned. But when we saw his chiseled back and hairy man-parts putting in work with Lyric in a field of lilac flowers, we all wet our panties and reconsidered giving that hard-working brotha at the Radio Shack a chance. (Go ahead, sis. Don't be ashamed. You know you did.)
'The Skinny'
This indie film is about a group of friends from Brown University who travel together for a weekend filled with drama, sex, and revelations. Especially sexy and sultry are the exchanges between Magnus and his boyfriend Ryan, including long, deep kissing sessions and lots of deep stroking.
'Love Jones'
This is, without a doubt, a classic favorite, and Darius Lovehall (played by the never-aging-a-day-in-his-life Larenz Tate) awakened the sapiosexual in all of us with his sensual wordplay and intellectual prowess during house-party debates. But when he and Nina Mosley (played by another actress who proves that Black indeed doesn't crack, Nia Long) finally hit the sheets, it was more than a sight for sore eyes. Add Maxwell's "Somethin' Somethin'" remix laying the vibes for lovemaking and you've got the peak to a love story that just made us all wish we had a writer boyfriend to be the "blues" in our "left thigh trying to become the funk" in our "right." Yas! That's all right!
'Power'
Flexing muscles just always does something to me, and Ghost (played by Omari Hardwick) knew just how to do that while stroking the living daylights out of Tasha (Naturi Naughton). Half the time I didn't care that it was often angry make-up sex between the hubby-and-wife crime duo because, TBH, seeing a strong Black man with a coin---and clearly great gym form---getting it on was always fine by me. The determination on his face, the multiple positions, and the look of bliss at the end of almost every scene...whew chile! Just go ahead and rewind again. We won't be mad.
'Insecure'
Issa Rae reminds us all that everyday women---even us awkward girls---can get our rocks off on the regular, and enjoy sex with some fine men to boot. From your usual comfy-couple sex on the couch with Lawrence (Jay Ellis), her soon-to-be ex, to crazy studio rendezvous with her rebound guy Daniel (Y'lan Noel), it's all about normalizing the dynamics of sex beyond love-story fairy tales and into the realm of IRL ish.
'Do the Right Thing'
Spike Lee sheds light on baby mama drama---and the love in between---as Mookie, who absolutely frustrates his boo Tina (Rosie Perez) throughout the whole film. Despite the arguments, the two end up having a playful sensual escapade. Mookie pulled out the ice trays---and got the side-eye from their son's caretaker, Tina's own mom---to give the both of them much-needed relief from the NYC heat. The dripping cubes-on-nipples action was something I probably shouldn't have been watching at the young age I was when I saw this movie for the first time, but as a grown woman, I can appreciate the combo of frozen treats and laughter to make relationship frustrations disappear.
'Baby Boy'
Now, some of you might fight me on this one, but who didn't didn't want to "make the tacos" for somebody after watching that scene? (And this movie has another hot love scene contender in Ving Rhames (who played Melvin) when he blessed Jody's mom, Juanita (A.J. Johnson), with a little standing froggy-style action.) I know, I know: Baby daddy-baby mama drama at its finest. You can't deny, though, that this scene was one to re-watch and that it was refreshing to see a young couple work through their issues to find common ground and holy matrimony in the end.
'Bessie'
Queen Latifah shines as one of the foremothers of blues, Bessie Smith, and in the film, she shares beautiful moments with her friend and lover, Lucille. The vulnerability and flirtatious exchanges between the two add an extra enchantment to watching this major part of the singer's life unfold through film.
'Creed'
Michael B. Jordan. Need I say more? OK, I'll go on. His character in the film, Adonis, falls in love with Bianca, a hearing-impaired singer-songwriter played by Tessa Thompson. In one scene, the two gain an understanding and connection via music and have a meeting of minds in how they'll both overcome inner demons to reach their life and career goals. Who doesn't love a man who can accept and love all of you? And again, Michael B. Jordan. 'Nuff said.
Featured Image Gif via Buzzfeed
Originally published on March 5, 2020
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Not too long ago, while in a session with one of my clients, they were talking to me about having strong sex cravings that seemed to have come out of nowhere. After asking some questions for clarity’s sake, I got that the reason why they used the word “craving” is because it’s not like they are hornier than usual all of the time. Nah, it’s more like the urge creeps up at some pretty random and/or unexpected moments. What they wanted to know from me was if I thought that it was normal.
The short answer is “yes.”
Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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Featured image by Giphy