
Lord. What is up with so many white men wanting to cut Black women off while they're talking? In the political world, most recently, it was (probably) when Senator (at the time) Kamala Harris was debating with Vice President (at the time) Mike Pence. As he kept interrupting her, she said, firmly, "I'm speaking." (Excellent.) Yet what inspired this particular piece is back in 2017, when Congresswoman Maxine Waters was being questioned by Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, and he kept speaking over her as well (SMDH). Auntie Maxine's response? "I'm reclaiming my time." Well played. Then multiply it. Then rinse and repeat.
Time. If there is one thing that most of us take for granted that we absolutely can never replace, it's time. I was actually telling someone, not too long ago, that it totally trips me out that this year marks my 20th anniversary of leaving corporate America to write because, in the grand scheme of things, for the most part, two decades went by pretty quickly. And you know what? If I knew then what I know now, I would've been far more responsible with a lot of my days, weeks, and months than I actually was 20 years ago (insert another "SMDH" in right here).
That's the bad news. The good news is there are certain practices that I've been implementing that have helped me to reclaim my time in the sense of making the most of each 24-hour day so that I don't waste any more of my precious time. If that's a goal that you'd like to achieve as we prepare to close out one year and enter into another, I've got 10 helpful ways for you to reclaim (restore) your extremely valuable time too.
1. Create a Morning Ritual and Evening Ritual
Something that I read, a long time ago, is the worst thing that you can do is jerk yourself up in the morning or crash at night. The first increases your chances of starting off your day feeling all jittery and anxious while the latter shows that you are truly exhausted (which usually means that you need to get more rest than you currently do). A way to curb both of these is to create a morning ritual and evening ritual for yourself. The morning could be waking up to a favorite song rather than an annoying alarm and/or praying and/or meditating.
Whatever you do, your ritual definitely needs to include not looking at your phone until you get out of the shower before officially starting your day. As far as your evening ritual goes, it could consist of having a glass of wine and/or a bubble bath, and/or catching up on a book.
The reality is, that once the day officially gets off and running, a lot of us are unable to find time for ourselves (especially if you're married and/or have kids). One way to make sure that doesn't happen (anymore) is to create your own "alpha and omega" (so to speak) rituals; ones that can give you at least an hour of time, completely to yourself.
2. Put No More than Five Things on Your Daily To-Do List
While I know this one might sound crazy, hear me out before you shut the suggestion all the way down. I don't know about you, but the older I get, the more the day seems totally shot after noon creeps up. If you make a point to only put five things on your to-do list and then you're super focused on knocking those things out, depending on what they are, there's a pretty good chance that it'll be between noon and 2 p.m. (give or take a couple of hours) before those tasks are completed.
However, since there are fewer things on your list, you can knock 'em out, create a feeling of accomplishment, and have a few more hours toward the end of your day for other activities. Listen, ever since I've shortened my own to-do list, life has slowed down (so that I can enjoy it), exponentially so. If there was ever a "don't knock it until you've tried it" response to a recommendation, this would have to be it.
3. Do Certain Things on Certain Days—ONLY
There are always gonna be clothes to wash. There is always gonna be a need to run to the grocery store. Lord knows that there is always gonna be a bill that needs to be paid. And, if there is one thing that all of these things have in common, it's the fact that it's pretty difficult to do them (well) if you take the "real quick" approach. Shoot, even if you've only got five things to pick up at the store, between driving there, going in, and coming back, could still take an hour (or more). That's why it's a good idea to designate certain days for certain activities—and not deviate.
Otherwise, you could be like someone in my life who washes clothes around the clock which makes it challenging for her to get other stuff done (because if she's not washing, she's drying; if she's not drying, she's folding). Two wash days could end up helping her to complete other tasks more consistently. It's another cool way to reclaim some time.
4. Set Hours for Social Media
Did you know that, on average, we spend around 2.5 hours on some sort of social media platform a day? That is more than one-fourth of an average workday, y'all. And while I get that the pandemic caused a lot of us to be home more than we ever dreamed that we would be, that statistic actually hasn't changed much from previous years. So yeah, whether you are using social media for work, leisure, or both, if you want to get some of your time back, setting hours for social media engagement (and then honoring the hours that you set) is a surefire way to do it.
By the way, this actually applies to all forms of media because I've got a friend who hardly ever watches television, and the amount of stuff that he's able to get done in a day because of it, truly boggles the mind. Definitely something to think about.
5. Actually Take a Lunch Break
There is someone in my world who never—and I do mean, never—takes lunch breaks. I don't get it either because 1) it's the law to have one and 2) once she gets home, she's got a whole 'nother world of stuff on her plate. While it would be awesome if corporate America gave bonus points (in ways of cash) to people who work through the allotted time granted to them to change scenery and cop a meal, the reality is, that it doesn't. All ignoring your lunch break is doing is putting you in the position to feel more drained and frazzled.
Some folks only really get their 30 minutes to an hour each workday that can be totally to themselves (if they want it). If you fall into this category, you're only hurting yourself by not using your lunch break to temporarily get off of the grid to take care of you, sis.
6. Set Boundaries
It's pretty hard to do any kind of self-care article (and believe you me, reclaiming your time is most definitely an act of self-care) without mentioning how important it is to set boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are limits and, when it comes to both your personal and professional life, it's OK to let people know what you are willing and not willing to do. For instance, salaried workers tend to get taken advantage of a lot because, since they aren't paid by the hour, employers will sometimes feel like they can use their employees for whatever they need, damn near 24 hours a day.
I've got a friend right now who was clear upon hiring that she couldn't do more than nine-hour days. Fast forward to five years later and she's basically on-call, including weekends, with no increase in pay. When I ask her why she doesn't speak with her boss about how she's being taken advantage of, she says she doesn't wanna "rock the boat".
Y'all, human nature can oftentimes lean towards being pretty self-consumed when there aren't limits put into place. In other words, you can easily find yourself out here getting worn out by folks who will sleep like a baby every night, if you don't learn how to draw lines and also say "no" sometimes. "No" is actually one of the most effective ways to reclaim your time. For the sake of your overall health and well-being, don't be afraid to use it sometimes, OK?
7. Schedule in “Me Date” Moments
When's the last time you took yourself on a date? After all, a date should be about spending quality time with someone in order to get to know themselves better, and hear me when I say that many married folks can attest to the fact that, just because you live with someone, that doesn't mean you know them as well as you might think that you do. This is why being proactive about becoming as self-aware as possible is key and one way to do that is by setting aside regular and consistent time, to just…BE with yourself. Watch a movie. Enjoy a meal alone. Take yourself shopping. Go on a hike. Have a spa day. Spend a night in a hotel. Do things that express that you believe, that out of all of the people in your life who should make you a top priority, YOU should top the list. Cherished moments alone are some of the best times that you will ever spend. I can promise you that, a thousand times over.
8. Figure Out What Is a Complete Waste of Your Time
Because I strive to be as word-specific as possible, something that irks me to no end is when people say, "Nothing is a waste of time." Are you kidding me? There are all kinds of people, places, things, and ideas that directly result in definitions like "to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return" and "to be consumed, spent, or employed uselessly or without giving full value or being fully utilized or appreciated". Just because you may have learned something from it/them, it doesn't mean that you didn't receive the same return for the effort that you gave or that you didn't go unappreciated for all that you did.
That's why I'm a firm believer that it is a complete act of disrespect to be out here doing things that you know are gonna waste someone else's time; time that they can never get back. That's why I'm such a fan of the Bob Marley quote that says, "The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her." You know what makes this kind of man a coward? It's the fact that he goes into something, something that he knows that he's either not ready for or interested in, which ends up hurting the woman and totally wasting her time.
So yeah, seriously pondering what or who in your life is causing you to give more than you get is worth exploring. It could be Instagram or a guy that you're seeing. There's a Chinese proverb that says something along the lines of, "It's shorter than you think." Whatever is wasting your time, shift it out of your space—so that you can put that time to far better use.
9. Forgive Others. And Yourself.
I strive to be a Bible follower and when it comes to the topic of forgiveness, its stance is pretty crystal clear. Matthew 6:14-15(NKJV) says, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." This is saying that if you want God to forgive you for what you do wrong (and we all do wrong), we must forgive others. Honestly, it's a great way to remain humble in this walk called life.
Besides, not forgiving others is such a colossal waste of time. Most people who choose not to forgive, they typically tend to do so because they think it's some kind of form of punishment towards the "offender" when the reality is, more times than not, while they're out here not forgiving a person, that individual is somewhere frolicking through life and sleeping like a baby at night. I say all of the time that in order for reconciliation to transpire, the "victim" should forgive AND the victimizer should repent; not either or—both. However, in order to release feelings of bitterness, in order to heal and stay open to other people coming into your life (ones who you won't give hell to because you are still mad at someone from your past), in order to move forward, "accepting that the past can't change" (which is a definition of forgiveness that I think best-selling author Gary Zukav came up with) is paramount.
Forgiveness helps to stop reliving the past as you take in the lessons that you need from it in order to move on with your future as a healthier and wiser individual; not a resentful and fear-filled one. That's why, while you're at it, you should make sure to forgive yourself too. Amen? Amen.
10. ORGANIZE
Clutter can definitely take up your time. A messy bedroom tends to make it harder to sleep. A messy office makes it challenging to complete tasks efficiently. A messy relationship can have your emotions all over the place. That's why I thought it would be best to close this article out with a call to make sure that you organize, as much of your life as possible. Clean your house. Set personal and professional goals. Get clear on what you want in your relationships with others, convey those points, to make sure that everyone is on the same page. The sooner you get yourself organized, the easier it will be to make the absolute most of your time. It's one of the best "reclaimers" there is.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
One thing that will never go out of style is the pride Black women take in showcasing and adorning our crowns. From sculpting braids to sleek bobs and curls for days, the girls are always playing with texture, color, and undeniable creativity—switching up our hairstyles like we do our moods. This season, hair is less about what's trending and more about expression. We're experimenting, evolving, and embodying every version of ourselves.
In partnership with SheaMoisture, this year's It Girl 100 celebrates the beauty of "Yes, And," an ode to the women who wear every side of themselves with confidence. These innovators remind us power and softness, heritage and reinvention, can beautifully co-exist. It's a call to own every layer of who we are. Because being an It Girl isn’t about choosing one version of yourself. It’s about saying yes to all of them.
Below, the women featured in xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025 are doing that—and then some—eloquently showing us how to say "Yes, And," to hair looks that always serve.
Luxe Layers x Serena Page
From braids and twists to platinum wigs, Love Island season six winner Serena Page continues to prove she can do it all, and do it all flawlessly. No matter the style, her hair game is undefeated. The softly layered middle-part with just the right amount of bounce is a classic Black girl hairstyle that gives inches without sacrificing body. It's a style that gives soft glam with a finish so seamless it could pass as a silk press—the kind of just-left-the-salon ease we all crave.
The Remix Cut x Ruesworld
When it comes to a short cut with attitude, Ruthann Palacios does not come to play. Known on social media by the moniker @ruesworldd, the content creator keeps her foot on our necks with the way she remixes her short cuts time and time again. Her recent sculpted, asymmetrical style is less of the "pixie" we're used to and more of a power move as she channels the bold innovation of '90s icons like Missy Elliott. This time, with extra length through her crown and right side, a sharp shorn left etched with box designs, and added length in the back, the hairstyle is equal parts edgy and architectural while being a look that's completely her own.
"I just told my stylist I wanted something cool and let them have full creative control with it," Ruthann told us of the hairstyle. "It channels my It Girl energy because I’m not afraid to take risks and show up boldly as myself, no matter the look." As a resident It Girl, it's clearly Rue's world—we're just living in it.
Fulani Flow x Kayla Nicole
Founder and podcast host Kayla Nicole's face card never declines, and neither do her statement hairstyles. One such look was her Fulani braids, a style that looked like it was made to be her signature. Originating from the Fulani people of West Africa, this traditional style features cornrows braided down the center of the head, with smaller plaits framing the face and beads or accessories woven throughout. Kayla's take on the tradition complete with center cornrows once again proved what we all know to be true: when it comes to heritage and repping for the culture, an It Girl never has to choose.
Top Tier Knot x Yana C.
Known to her followers online as @goldynaps, Yana C. is the queen of turning hair into her favorite art form. One of her latest looks feels like a love letter to '90s Black hair creativity. With Fulani-inspired cornrows braided flat and finished into bantu knots that line the center of her head like a crown, paired with a sleek straight sew-in flowing in the back, the style is equal parts nostalgic and next-level. And, of course, her signature ash blonde locks takes it all up a notch.
"This style was inspired by the ’90s—my favorite era for artistry in Black hair!” Yana shared with xoNecole. “My hair has always been such a notable part of who I am, and I love to express myself through it and make it an extension of my personal style. This style channels my It Girl energy because it’s a reminder that Black hair isn’t just hair—it’s art."
The look, which racked up major views on TikTok, is giving everything it needs to give. Because for Yana, self-expression will always make her the main character.
Sculpted Braids x Shema Love
Let Black girls be whimsical.
For content creator and creative visionary Shema Love, this hairstyle encapsulates that mood perfectly. The intricate, symmetrical design captures both the power and the playfulness defining this season's resident Black girl hair renaissance for It Girls everywhere. "I loved the whimsy of this hairstyle. I want to see Black women be allowed to experiment more with whimsy with our hair," Shema shares with xoNecole. "I love the symmetry of it and a look that shines from every angle. And of course, no style ever feels complete to me without my baby hairs laid."
Boho Boss Braids x Toni Bravo
Toni Bravo may be the "CEO of Blush," but she is also a resident slayer of hair looks. Whether she's rocking a custom install or a silk press, the content creator is making a hair moment just as often as she's putting us on to the latest beauty finds. But when she debuted her boho box braids earlier this year, she reminded us that every new hair alert hits just a little different.
Loose, free-flowing curls woven through intricate box braids add movement and softness to the tried-and-true style, creating a look that’s equal parts effortless and elevated. "I wanted something a little messy but just as intentional, and it was perfect. It channels the part of me that loves to have fun and switch it up while trying something new," Toni tells us about her look. "An It Girl knows that the best things are right outside of your comfort zone."
The low-maintenance meets high-impact style is one that channels Toni's booked, busy, and bossy era to a T.
Black Girl Bob x Maya Allen
Whether asymmetrical, curly, or blunt, there's something irrefutably It Girl about rocking a bob. With quiet confidence, it's a cut that commands attention. Beauty editor and expert Maya Allen has worn different iterations of the bob throughout the years, but this one—styled with a deep side part and cut just below her jawline—frames her face and enviable bone structure to perfection. In an interview with Cosmopolitan, Maya dubbed her signature bob "a power cut." "It’s like a power suit for my hair," she added. "It makes me feel fierce and effortlessly chic without ever having to try too hard."
Fro The Culture x Zaynah
The afro will forever be a cultural statement. It's a style that represents the most natural state of our hair, a crown that often defies gravity whenever we choose to wear it. Content creator Zaynah understands the fro's power as a symbol of Black beauty and can be seen wearing her type 4 hair unapologetically in much of her viral social media content. Whether achieved through twist-outs, braid outs, wash n' gos, or perfectly picked, Zaynah's take on the afro hairstyle is full, stretched, and beautifully shaped. With it, she embodies not just It Girl energy with pride and confidence, but the freedom to take up space.
Pony Up x Kirah Ominique
As far as we're concerned, nobody does a ponytail quite like Kirah Ominique. The It Girl's It Girl has made the sleek, added-hair ponytail as signature of hers when she's not sporting braids or a slick-back bun. With her baby hairs laid, and every strand of her hair smoothed and locked into place, the hairstyle is a clean, sculpted serve that's as chic as it is fierce. The content creator and beauty influencer's ponytails are the perfect blend of playfulness and precision, a put-together staple in every It Girl's hairstyle arsenal.
In Her Copper Era x Keke Palmer
If "blondes have more fun," then the ladies deciding to rock copper are rewriting the rules. In recent years, copper has had a bit of a resurgence as a warmer, richer take on going lighter, and nobody's been owning that energy lately quite like Keke Palmer. This year, the host and actress debuted her now-signature hue in its boldest form yet: a tousled face-framing pixie that gives the timeless allure we've come to associate with '90s icons like Nia Long and Halle Berry.
As Byrdie put it best, "We've seen the shade at every length and in every style, but this one is truly something special."
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list here.
Featured image courtesy of Ruthann Palacios









