

How To Move Forward When He Lets Go But You're Still Holding On
He's still in my dreams. Why do I still have dreams about him? I remember confiding to one of my friends about how my situationship that had ended. The truth was, not only was he in my dreams, but I thought about him often.
Why was it so hard for me to move on? Granted, I obsessed over why we didn't end up together. I wondered why the situationship that had once seemed so promising, didn't formulate into a real relationship. Why couldn't I get him off my mind?
Sometimes we get so caught up in wondering what we may have done wrong, we fail to see that the man we were so head over heels for was not the right person for us. If you're still holding on to a man that is simply not holding on to you, here's your sign sis, let him go. Here's how:
Stop Stalking Him
I know, I know. It's easier said than done. But riddle me this, how are you ever going to get over him if you are constantly trying to keep up with what he is doing?
The things we see, especially before bed, manifest themselves into our dreams. If you're stalking his IG, Facebook, Twitter, reading old messages, or looking at his pics before you fall asleep, of course he's going to pop up in your dreams. Some might find it a bit much to block him, but regardless of what he or anyone else thinks, you need to stop looking at his social media. And if that means blocking, welp, hit that button girl and move on.
Let's say you don't go through his social media, but he still is constantly the topic of all of your conversations. It's time to stop talking about him.
With each mention of his name in each conversation, you are only going to manifest him into your thoughts even more. Instead, spend your time talking about things that actually matter. Discuss your goals with your girls and write them out. Spend your extra time actually working towards your overall goals in life.
Becoming a better you is way more satisfying than worrying about someone who is not worrying about you.
Realize That He Just Wasn't The One
This is a very hard pill to dry swallow on an empty stomach.
Yes, it felt like you were meant to be together at times. Yes, you shared things with him. Yes, you loved him. But you were never really one. And he wasn't either.
Yes, it hurts like hell still, but acknowledging this should grant you some peace. You simply dated a man that you are no longer dating. Don't continuously punish yourself over a man who did not see all of your value and beauty; it is counterproductive to you ever moving on. Find peace in the fact that aside from emotional wounds, you are unbound to him, and free to move on to someone who sees your worth.
Reclaim Your Self-Worth And Eliminate Negative Self-Talk
When we've been hurt, we feel worthless. We do this to ourselves, and we allow other people to do it and replay these same hurtful agreements in our minds until it becomes tied to us and our own DNA.
If I was in better shape he wouldn't have left. If I was more outgoing he would have found me more interesting. If I dressed sexier, I probably could have kept his attention. If I had sex with him, he probably would still be here.
Whatever your "What if?" is, you have to let it go. There are men that will love you at your smallest and biggest. There are men that will love your quirky personality just the way it is. There is someone that will love everything about the way you dress, and be willing to wait until you are ready to be intimate.
So break those agreements you have with yourself immediately. There is someone out there who will love and accept you flaws in all. Your perceived flaws are not the problem, it's your sense of self-worth.
Nobody's perfect, but when you learn to see beauty in your imperfections, you truly win.
Everything, and I do mean everything, happens for a reason. Ultimately, if it's meant to be, you will find your way back together. My husband and I broke up in our early twenties, dated other people, and lived in two different states, but still found our way back to each other and will soon be celebrating our first year of marriage.
So if this guy is as great as you thought he was, then perhaps you will find your way back together. In the meantime, continue loving yourself, living your best life, and improving on yourself.
It is so much easier to navigate through the dating world when you know your self-worth, just remember to add tax.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, writer and spoken word poet, who doesn't trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on Twitter & Instagram.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Improve The Look Of Your Under-Eyes With These Top-Rated Eye Masks
If there’s one part of the face that seems to be the most vexing to correct, it’s the under eyes.
This delicate area has a way of being tipped off by our irregular sleep patterns, stress, and the straining that comes from our computers and phone screens. From puffiness to dark circles, it can be irksome to find the right products to soothe our under-eye concerns. Thankfully, there’s one solution that delivers a brighter and more awakened look over time, and that’s under-eye masks and eye patches.
Eye patches are giving our under-eye bags an eviction notice because they can’t hang our glowing faces rent-free. The beauty of these patches is that they are designed to bring your eyes targeted results through concentrated doses of active ingredients directly to the skin under the eyes. Typically made of thin, gel-like material and infused with ingredients like niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, caffeine, and even green teas, these small but mighty patches depuff your puffiness, brighten your dark circles, or tighten fine lines.
While every under-eye differs in its needs, every eye can benefit from an under-eye mask or patch that suits its concerns. And to help, we’ve put together the best under-eye patches to hydrate, soothe, and brighten your eyes.
KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack
The KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack, is a retinol-infused, all-natural product designed to rejuvenate your eyes. It promises to provide hydration, smoothness, reduced puffiness, and brightness without the use of chemicals. With ingredients like retinol to refine skin texture and stimulate blood flow and aloe to soothe and reduce redness, it's like getting 8 hours of beauty sleep for your eyes.
Topicals Faded Under Eye Brightening Eye Masks
These cooling hydrogel under-eye masks from Topicals promise to fade the appearance of dark circles and discoloration in just 15 minutes. The set includes six masks and offers benefits that brighten, hydrate, depuff, and cool your under-eye area.
Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Brightening Hydra-Gel Eye Patches
Grab these eye contour gel patches to brighten the eye area and combat signs of aging using a powerful form of vitamin C called THD Ascorbate, which is 50 times more potent than traditional vitamin C.
BeautyBio Bright Eyes Depuffing and Brightening Eye Gels
BeautyBio's Bright Eyes consists of 15 colloidal silver-infused eye gel patches designed to provide instant depuffing, brightening, and revitalization to the delicate eye area within 10 minutes. They also contain natural collagen to help diminish the appearance of fine lines, which we love.
COSRX Advanced Snail Hydrogel Eye Patch
COSRX
These viral hydrogel masks offer moisture and nourishment to rejuvenate tired-looking skin. Their Snail Secretion Filtrate contains "Mucin," an effective moisturizing ingredient that soothes damaged skin and delivers deep hydration, making it suitable for dehydrated and damaged skin types. Your under-eyes will thank you.
Peace Out Puffy Under-Eye Patches
Amazon
Try these caffeine-infused patches to reduce puffiness in the under-eye area. The product features clean, vegan ingredients such as caffeine, niacinamide, and hyaluronic acid for deep hydration and moisture delivery.
Dieux Skin Forever Eye Mask Reusable Silicone Gel Eye Pads
The Forever Eye Mask is designed to be the “last eye mask you'll ever need.” This thin, lightweight, and reusable eye patch can hold gels, serums, and creams close to the skin for better absorption, helping your skincare products work more effectively.
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