You know what's a trip? The more intentional I become about setting healthy boundaries, releasing toxic people, tapping into my Black femininity and protecting my inner peace, the more I'm all about pampering myself. I mean, budgeting out money, every single month, to treat my body to some much-needed TLC. Lately, what I've been getting into are facials. Recently, I had my first back facial. It was divine. There is no better word for it. Anyway, as I was getting a "face facial" a couple of weeks ago, my skincare specialist told me that while I don't really need to get a professional facial more than once a season (four times a year), it can never hurt to give myself one at home around every four weeks or so. And so, that is exactly what I am going to start implementing into my DIY beauty regimen.
As for you sis, whether it's because time and money are tight or because you want to learn how to do more at-home pampering and you think that giving yourself a facial would be a good start (and I would agree), here are eight reasons that hopefully will inspire you to check out five videos (here, here, here, here and here) on how to give yourself an at-home facial, so that you will be fully inspired to treat yourself before the week's end.
1. It Deep-Cleanses Your Pores
Last summer, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "10 All-Natural Ways To Make Your Pores Appear Smaller" because I'm someone who has larger pores on certain parts of my body. A part of it is genetic. Another reason is because I wasn't always the most diligent about deep cleaning them and, when you're not, that can cause oil, dirt and make-up build-up to stretch and enlarge your pores overtime. That's one of the reasons why a facial can be so helpful. It will help to pull all of the "gunk" out of your pores, so that they can stay smaller and you will encounter less breakouts.
Pore Cleansing Facial Recipe: Combine ½ cup of manuka honey (it's an amazing humectant) with three tablespoons of fresh-squeezed orange juice (it's loaded with antioxidants), one tablespoon of sea salt (the perfect exfoliant) and one teaspoon of Aloe vera (it's loaded with healing properties). Mix all of the ingredients together, apply to freshly washed skin and leave on for 10-15 minutes before rinsing with warm and then cool water (as a heads up, this part of the instruction applies to just about every recipe in this piece). The combination of these ingredients will deeply exfoliate your skin while triggering collagen production at the same time.
2. It Treats Acne
If you're someone who is prone to breakouts, this is another reason to consider giving at-home facials a try. Not only do facials help to clear out your pores as I just mentioned, they can get rid of dead skin cells, remove excess oil and also soothe your skin, if there are areas that happen to be inflamed. With all of these things being less of an issue, it's a lot harder for pimples to literally rear their ugly heads.
Acne Facial Recipe: Mix two tablespoons of manuka honey with one teaspoon of turmeric. The properties in the turmeric will reduce inflammation as the antibacterial and antimicrobial properties in the honey will help to get rid of the bacteria that causes breakouts in the first place.
3. It Evens Out Your Skin Tone
Whenever I get a facial, something that I notice, pretty much immediately, is how bright and even my skin looks.
Due to things like UV damage (which can happen to us too), hormonal shifts, acne marks, slow collagen production and/or the overproduction of melanin, our skin can end up having some discoloration here and there. Two things that can remedy this is getting to personally know what your skin type is (more on that later) and yep, you guessed it, having facials.
In this lane, facials are dope because they can smooth and even out your skin tone over time. The key here is to go with a facial recipe that is loaded with antioxidants.
Skin Tone Facial Recipe: Blend the pulp of one papaya with two tablespoons of goat milk. The antioxidants along with the enzyme papain in the papaya will break down dead skin cells while the milk will soften the skin and unevenness. Oh, it should go on record that because papaya can be pretty potent, you'll probably only need to keep this particular mask on your face for no more than 5-7 minutes.
4. It Increases Blood Circulation
You might not have ever thought about getting a facial for the specific purpose of increasing blood circulation to your face, yet it is another benefit that comes with having one. The reality is poor circulation to your face (and neck) can play a significant role in your skin aging faster than it ever should. The way to head this off is to give yourself a facial that contains a form of Vitamin A known as retinoids; they increase blood circulation and even have a reputation for creating new blood vessels over time. Dope.
Blood Circulation Facial Recipe: Combine one egg with two tablespoons of plain whole milk yogurt. Both are loaded with retinoids and, as a bonus, will make your skin feel baby soft smooth.
5. It Slows Down the Signs of Aging
Don't get triggered but I once wrote "Yes, Black CAN Crack. Here's What To Do About It, Tho." for this platform for a reason and a purpose.
While the extra melanin in our skin is indeed a blessing, that doesn't mean that we should take it for granted or not be proactive about making sure that we keep our youthful glow for as long as possible. One way to do that? You already know — give yourself a facial. Another benefit that comes from this kind of beauty treatment is it can help to increase your skin's elasticity, thicken your skin and remove toxins that may be embedded in your pores while improving your skin's texture and super-hydrating your pores in the process.
Anti-Aging Facial Recipe: Put one tablespoon of shea butter, two teaspoons of Aloe vera gel, ¼ of a ripe avocado and ½ ripe apricot in a blender until everything is super smooth. The shea butter's antioxidants have anti-aging properties. The Aloe vera will help to improve your skin's elasticity. Avocados hydrate and also add to your skin's elasticity. Apricots are rich in fatty acids to help make your skin soft and supple.
6. It’s a Skin Hydrator
All of your body needs moisture. Your face is certainly no exception. When it fails to get the adequate amount that it needs, that can lead to dryness, irritation, acne, environmental damage and premature signs of aging. That's why it's important to consume lots of water and to consider giving yourself a facial that specifically treats dry skin from time to time.
Skin Hydration Facial Recipe: Put four ripe strawberries into a blender along with two teaspoons of Greek yogurt and a tablespoon of coconut milk. Strawberries are high in antioxidants. The lactic acid from the yogurt will brighten your skin. The coconut milk is extremely moisturizing.
7. It Teaches You More About Your Skin
The reason why a lot of us don't end up with the flawless glowing skin that we desire is because we don't know enough about our skin type to give it, just what it needs. One thing that can help with this is to take an online quiz (like the one on the Ask the Scientists website that you can check out here). Another is to give yourself a facial to see which one your skin responds to best. If you want to "ease into" giving yourself one, vegetable glycerin and Vitamin E are two ingredients that are great for sensitive skin.
Beginner's Facial Recipe: Add three Vitamin E capsules to one tablespoon of vegetable glycerin. Glycerin adds lots of moisture while Vitamin offers anti-inflammatory and healing properties.
8. It Reduces Your Stress Levels
If you really want to take your DIY facial up a notch, devote 5-10 minutes massaging your face first. Make sure your hands and face are clean and then use your fingertips to create small circles all over your face and neck. Not only will it help to increase blood circulation, it is extremely relaxing too. Then, once you're done, give yourself a stress-releasing facial. Not only will it help to activate your sympathetic nervous system, it will also reduce your anxiety levels and uplift your spirits. Definitely a win when it comes to DIY skincare.
Stress-Reducing Facial Recipe: Mix two tablespoons of sweet almond oil (improves complexion, fights breakouts), with a teaspoon of honey and four drops of lavender (it's soothing to the skin as it gets rid of bacteria and calms your spirits at the same time). It's the perfect skin treatment at night before turning in, so that you can wake up with beautiful skin. Enjoy!
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Featured image by Getty Images
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Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
Credits
Director of Content: Jasmine Grant
Campaign Manager: Chantal Gainous
Managing Editor: Sheriden Garrett
Creative Director/Executive Producer: Tracey Woods
Cover Designer: Tierra Taylor
Photographer: Ally Green
Photo Assistant: Avery Mulally
Digital Tech: Kim Tran
Video by Third and Sunset
DP & Editor: Sam Akinyele
2nd Camera: Skylar Smith
Camera Assistant: Charles Belcher
Stylist: Casey Billingsley
Hairstylist: DaVonte Blanton
Makeup Artist: Drini Marie
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