Eat Up, Sis. Thanksgiving Foods That Are Great For Your Sex Life.
Whenever the seasons change or a holiday rolls around, I try and find a way to incorporate sex into it. For instance, last month, I wrote about how to have Halloween-themed sex and, last year, I wrote "Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex". Today, in honor of Thanksgiving—and the fact that all of us who are actually here to see it in our right mind, most definitely have much to be grateful for after all that 2020 manifested—I figured I'd focus on traditional Thanksgiving foods that can actually make your sex life better.
Hopefully, this will accomplish two things. One, it will motivate you to do a little cooking this year and two, it will prevent you from overeating so that you can have a little dessert—wink, wink—once you're done. So, let's dig into 10 Thanksgiving-themed foods that are delicious—in the kitchen as well as the bedroom. (By the way, if you click on some of the food reference links, they will take you to a few recipes. No need to thank me. It's all good.)
1. Turkey
What in the world would Thanksgiving be without turkey (especially fried turkey, but I digress)? Health-wise, turkey is off-the-charts, in the best way possible, when it comes to protein. Turkey is also a good source of nutrients like vitamins B3, B6 and B12, selenium, phosphorus and zinc (bookmark that zinc part; I'll be circling back around to it in just a sec) and the amino acid tryptophan. The selenium in turkey helps to balance your thyroid. The Vitamin B6 helps to give your system energy. And, aside from tryptophan being able to produce what is so well known in the Black community as "the itis", that amino acid is also great at strengthening your immune system as well.
On the sex tip, turkey earns itself a round of applause because of the zinc that it's got. Not only does zinc help to increase the level of sexual arousal in both men and women, it can help your partner to maintain his erection longer too. Turkey legs for everyone!
2. Herb Stuffing
Aside from turkey, probably the most popular Thanksgiving dish is stuffing. Well, if it's really good, it's gonna have hella seasonings in it, right? If you happen to make stuffing that has garlic and sage in it, you are doing your body a world of good! Garlic is good for you because it contains potent properties that can help to fight heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer cells and, thanks to its antiviral, antimicrobial and antifungal properties specifically, it's a beast when it comes to stopping colds and the flu in their tracks. Sage is dope because it contains a fair amount of Vitamin K and antioxidants that can help to support your oral health, improve your memory, keep your bones strong, slow down signs of aging and even reduce menopause-related symptoms.
The reason why these both are must-have seasonings for your (cornbread) stuffing is because garlic has the organosulfur compound allicin in it; allicin is able to increase blood circulation in your body, including when it comes to your sex organs. Meanwhile, sage can help to keep your estrogen and progesterone levels balanced (the more balanced your hormones are, the better and sexier you'll feel) while decreasing your stress hormone cortisol, so that you're less anxious and way more calm.
Au Gratin Potatoes
As far as potatoes go, definitely sweet potatoes are the healthiest. Matter of fact, they are actually considered to be a "perfect food" (I shouted out that very point in an article about your diet vs. your sex life here). But today, since it seems that white potatoes oftentimes get a bad rap, I decided to share some of the benefits that come from eating them from time to time too. White potatoes contain a good amount of protein, fiber, vitamins B6 and C, potassium, manganese and magnesium. They also are filled with antioxidants, can help to balance out your blood sugar levels, can improve your digestion and are totally gluten-free.
It's the potassium in white potatoes that specifically make them a sex drive increaser. For one thing, potassium is able to help to regulate your thyroid while increasing sex hormone production in men. Plus, people who deal with depression-related symptoms are oftentimes low in potassium, so knowing that it can put you in a better mood is one reason to serve up some au gratin potatoes this year.
4. Roasted Asparagus
Let me just go ahead and say this on the front end—if you like to give fellatio, you might wanna skip out on this dish. On the other hand, if you borderline hate giving head, serving up some roasted asparagus may be ideal. The reason why I say that is because, some people have claimed that when their partner has asparagus within a day of engaging in oral sex, it has sometimes created an odor that is a little, let's say "odd".
Still, asparagus makes the list of semi-traditional Thanksgiving foods that are great for sex because it's a veggie that is high in folate which triggers histamine production in your body. Histamine is an organic chemical compound that helps to boost sexual arousal and can even make it easier for us to orgasm. Now do you see why it's on here?
As far as other reasons why roasted asparagus is a great Thanksgiving side dish, it's got protein, fiber, antioxidants, a good amount of Vitamin K and a fair amount of vitamins A, B1 and C. All of this can work together to lower your blood pressure, reduce bodily inflammation and protect your skin from damaging UV rays.
5. Cranberry Sauce
Pretty much the only berries that are in its peak shape during this time of the year are cranberries. When it comes to their health benefits, cranberries are considered to be a superfood because they're high in antioxidants, vitamins A, B, C and K, potassium and magnesium, with even a bit of zinc and iron too. It's especially a good idea to add them to your diet because cranberries can help to reduce your risk of heart disease, improve your oral health and they're awesome at keeping UTIs at bay.
Without question, cranberry sauce is a signature Thanksgiving treat. The reason why you should make (or serve) some this year is because the Vitamin B in them can increase your drive while the Vitamin C in them can help to synthesize your androgen, estrogen and progesterone hormones, so that you're able to stay sexually aroused.
6. Cloves
Smoked ginger chicken with cloves. Moroccan hummus that's flavored with cloves. Homemade ginger snaps (the best ones contain cloves). These are just some of the dishes that you can offer up on Thanksgiving that have another edible item that can boost your libido. Yep. You've guessed it—cloves.
Aside from the fact that this particular spice contains a good amount of fiber, antioxidants and manganese, cloves have antimicrobial properties that can kill the kind of bacteria that leads to tooth decay. Cloves also have a reputation for being able to regulate blood sugar, increase liver health, fight the development of cancer cells, reduce stomach ulcers, make your bones stronger and also boost your libido.
On the libido tip, cloves are effective because they're the kind of spice that can warm up your body while increasing blood flow, including to your genital region. And since they can also increase your energy levels, I'm pretty sure you can see why I thought that they just had to go on this list.
7. Red Wine
Ain't nothin' wrong with a glass—or a bottle—of red wine over the holidays. It's good for you because it's the kind of alcoholic drink that is filled with antioxidants. Plus, red wine can help to keep your heart healthy, it's able to protect your body from radical cells, it can balance out your blood sugar levels and it can even reduce the risk of experiencing depression-related symptoms.
And yep, red wine is good for your sex drive too. The main reasons are because it not only has the ability to increase your sex drive, but studies have found that red wine can cause women to produce more lubrication too. Just make sure to drink enough to get tipsy and not drunk. The flip side is too much alcohol can zap your energy.
8. Hot Chocolate
A cup of hot chocolate on a cold fall day, whether it's Thanksgiving or not, is always divine. If the drink is homemade with a good amount of dark chocolate in it, you'll be enjoying something that is an excellent source of fiber, antioxidants, iron, magnesium, copper, potassium, zinc and manganese. All of these things can help to protect your skin from damaging UV rays, protect your heart, improve your brain function, fight off free radicals, boost your mood, reduce your risk of getting diabetes and can control your appetite which can ultimately lead to weight loss over time.
Sipping a little with your Thanksgiving evening dessert can increase blood circulation throughout your entire body. And, since dark chocolate is proven to be able to trigger the production of serotonin and dopamine in your system, drinking some hot chocolate can make you want to get extra close to your partner as well. #drinkup
9. Apple Crisp
Most of us have heard the saying "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". Well, when you stop to think about all of the good things that can come from eating this piece of fruit, there actually can be quite a bit of truth within that statement. First up, apples are a good source of fiber and Vitamin C, plus it contains small amounts of many other vitamins and minerals including vitamins A, B, E and K along with manganese, potassium and copper. As far as health benefits go, apples are great because they help to keep your cholesterol levels in check, can lower your diabetes risk, promote good gut health, will protect your lungs from oxidative stress and even apples even help to stop your brain from experiencing mental decline
And just what can apples do for your libido? Well, because they are full of the flavonoid (which is an antioxidant) called quercetin, apples are able to increase blood circulation to your genitalia, help to fight erectile dysfunction in men and also strengthen sexual desire in women. Apple crisp, anyone?
10. Pumpkin Pie
Last year, I watched a video that addressed the long-standing debate within the Black community about what's better—sweet potato or pumpkin pie (Tony Baker and KevOnStage debated it here and Kev had some friends try pumpkin pie here). Personally, I like them both; however, on the sex tip, it's gonna be pumpkin pie for the win, each and every time!
Aside from the fact that the combination of pumpkin and lavender essential oils can increase a man's erection speed by as much as 40 percent (crazy, right?), pumpkins are another food that are high in zinc (we already discussed what zinc does) and omega-3 fatty acids which can help to balance out the prostaglandins (hormone-like substances), so that you are able to maintain great sexual health.
And since pumpkin is also a signature Thanksgiving fruit that is loaded with Vitamin A, protein, fiber while also being a good source of Vitamin C, copper, potassium and manganese, and since it can also help to strengthen your visual, boost your immune system, give you healthy skin, protect your heart and reduce your risks of being diagnosed with a chronic disease—why in the world would you not wanna serve up a delicious homemade pumpkin pie this year? Eat up and enjoy. On every level, y'all!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Beyond Burnout: Nicole Walters' Blueprint For Achieving Career Success On Your Own Terms
Nicole Walters has always been known for two things: her ambition and her ability to recognize when life’s challenges can also double as an inspiring, lucrative brand.
This was first evident more than a decade ago when she quit her job as the corporate executive of a Fortune 500 company during a Periscope livestream. “I’m not sure if there’s an alignment of [our] future trajectory. I’m going to work for myself. I'm promoting myself to work for myself,” she said at the time before flashing a smile at the viewing audience. As she resigned on camera, a constant stream of encouraging messages floated upwards on the screen.
By 2021, she’d fashioned her work as a corporate consultant and her personal life with her husband and three adopted daughters into a reality show, She’s The Boss, for USA Network. This year, she released the New York Times bestselling memoir Nothing Is Missing, written as she was in the process of getting a divorce and dealing with her eldest daughter’s struggles with substance use.
Convinced that there’s no way the 39-year-old has achieved all of this without intentional strategic planning, I asked her about it when we spoke less than a week before Christmas. I’d seen videos on social media of her working on 2024 planning for other brands, and I wanted to know what that looked like following her own year of success.
She listed a number of goals, including ensuring that the projects she takes on in the new year align with her identity “as a Black woman, as an African woman, as a mother, as someone who has lived a [rebuilding] season and is now trying to live boldly and entirely as themselves.” But, I was shocked by how much of her business planning also prioritized rest.
Despite the bestselling book, a self-titled podcast, and working with numerous corporations, Walters said she’s been taking Fridays off. This year, she doesn’t want to work on Mondays, either.
“A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement,” she said, noting that she’ll check in with herself around March to see how successful this plan has been. The goal, Walters said, is to only be working on Tuesdays and Thursdays by sometime in 2025. “It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to have happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change.”
"A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement... It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change."
Walters said the decision to progressively work less was partially in response to her previously held notions about her career, especially as an entrepreneur. “When I first started, I thought burnout was a part of it,” she said. “What I didn’t realize is that even if you’re able to bounce out of burnout or get back to it, there’s a cumulative impact on your body. If you think of your body as a tree and every time you go through burnout, you are taking a hack out of your trunk, yes, that trunk will heal over, and the tree will continue to grow, but it doesn't mean that you don’t have a weakened stem.”
But, the desire for increased rest was also in response to the major shifts that occurred three years ago when she was experiencing major changes in her family and realized her metaphorical tree was “bending all the way over.”
Courtesy
“One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity,” she added. “That is some language that I think is just now starting to really get unpacked.” In recent years, there’s been an increased awareness of achieving balance in life, with Tricia Hersey’s “The Nap Ministry” gaining attention based on the idea that rest, especially for Black women, is a form of resistance. Even online phrases such as “soft life” and “quiet quitting” have hinted at a cultural shift in prioritizing leisure over professional ambition.
"One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity."
If companies are lining up to consult with Walters about their brands and products, then women have been looking to her for guidance on starting over since she invited them to livestream her resignation 12 years ago. As viewers continue to demand more from content creators in the form of intimate, personal details, Walters has navigated her personal brand with a sense of transparency without oversharing the vulnerable details about her life, especially when it comes to her family.
The entrepreneur said she’d been approached to write a book for several years and was initially convinced she was finally ready to write one about business. “I started to do that, and then I went through my divorce. When that happened, I said, why would I write a book telling people to get the life that I have when I’m not sure about the life that I have,” she said.
Instead, she decided to write Nothing Is Missing and provide a closer look at her life, starting with being born to immigrant Ghanaian parents (“You need to know my childhood to know why I’m passionate about entrepreneurship.”) through the adoption of her three daughters and eventual divorce. Despite her desire to share, however, she said she felt protective of the privacy of her family, including her ex-husband.
When discussing this with me, Walters said she was reminded of a lesson she learned from actress Kerry Washington, who released her own memoir, Thicker Than Water, just a week before Walters’ book release. Washington’s memoir grapples with family secrets, too, specifically the fact that she was conceived using a sperm donor and didn’t learn about it until she was already a successful TV star. While Washington reflects on how the decision and subsequent deception impacted her, she’s also careful to hold space for her parents’ experiences, too. “A lot of things she said was that she had to recognize where she was the supporting character and where she was the main character,” Walter said.
This is something Walter worked to do in Nothing Is Missing when discussing her daughter’s struggles with addiction. “I was very intentional about making sure that I did not reveal more than what was required,” she said. “If I say something about someone’s addiction, I don’t need to go into the list of the substances they used, how they used them, what I found. [I don’t need to] walk into a room and paint a picture of what it looked like for people to understand.”
Walters said some of the most vulnerable moments in the book barely made a ripple once it was released. She was extremely nervous to write about getting an abortion, she said. But no one has asked her about this in the months since the book was released. Instead, people have been more interested in quirkier revelations, such as the fact that she once appeared on Wheel of Fortune.
“I have bared my soul about this thing I went through in my youth that has changed me for people, and people are like, ‘So how heavy was the wheel when you spun it?’” she said, chuckling. “It just goes to show that people never worry about the thing that you worry about.”
With the success of Nothing Is Missing, Walters said she still isn’t planning to release a business book at the moment. But, as she navigates parenting a teenager and two adult children while also navigating a relationship with her new fiancé, Walters said she believes she has at least one or two more books to write about her personal journey. “There is sort of an arc of where my life has gone that I know I’ve got something more to say about this that I think is important, relevant and necessary,” she said.
In just three years, Walters’ life has undergone a major transformation. There’s no telling what the next three years will have in store for her, but it seems likely she’ll retain an inspired audience wherever life takes her.
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It's 2024, and you're ready to get back into the dating scene. Well, you're not alone. According to Jonathan Kirkland, Head of Brand and Marketing of BLK, a popular dating and lifestyle app for the Black community, the day after Christmas through Valentine's Day is considered "peak season" for dating apps. So, whether romance is on your vision board or you just want to date for fun, it's necessary to make your dating profile stand out. If you've used dating apps, then you've probably seen it all. The shady profiles with creepy photos, the lack of info or too much info in the About Me section, and much more. While we know that's not you, you could be making some mistakes that are keeping you from making a connection with a potential love interest.
In an exclusive interview, Jonathan lists 10 dating profile mistakes to avoid in 2024. Read below to kick off your dating journey in a positive way.
Blurry Pictures
Jonathan says blurry pictures are the ultimate no-no. "Pictures are your first representation of yourself on the dating app. So make sure that you have a clear picture, make sure that the picture represents you. If it's a blurry picture, people can't see you. They will see your picture before they read your profile."
Inappropriate Pictures
Next are inappropriate pictures. "Typically, they'll get flagged on dating apps by our moderators, but I mean a torso pic. I mean, even if you have a six-pack, people still want to see your face."
Morsa Images/ Getty Images
Incomplete Biographies
"Another profile mistake; I will say incomplete bios because after people see your pic, if they like it. They want to, you know, get to know a little bit about you," he says.
"If the app gives you as much information to fill out like if you want kids, education, are you a smoker or do you work out, you know, fill out as much as possible because that way that also helps, you know, get you to your match quicker and can alleviate some of that time back and forth. If you know, it's not going to be a match."
Misspellings and Grammar Mistakes
Jonathan recommends that dating app users use spellcheck when writing bios. Grammar mistakes and misspelled words may show that you don't "pay attention to detail, which people probably don't want."
Being Vague About Intentions
While you may be looking for a serious relationship, other people may just be looking for a good time so revealing what you're looking for in your profile will help weed out those who don't match your intentions. "So on BLK we now have, you can select your intention right on your profile. Are you looking for long-term relationship, friends with benefits, friends, you know, things like that?"
Pro-Stock Studios/ Getty Images
TMI
However, there is such a thing as too much information. "Because then that could be safety and privacy, like you don't want to put your phone number on there. I mean, you might not want to put your Snapchat or Instagram." He continues, "I will say like, keep your different social media separate and not give all your information out on your profile."
Negativity
If you're on dating apps, then you've probably seen a negative profile or two, but don't follow in those footsteps. "Even if you've had bad experiences in dating apps or relationships, you don't take it to the dating app because it's supposed to be a place of hope."
Not Updating Your Profile
Have you dyed your hair or lost weight since creating your dating profile? Then you might want to update it, sis. "I mean, you don't want to misrepresent yourself, like if you got a picture from when you were in high school, probably not the best thing because if you meet somebody in person, you're not going to look the same. People's weights, especially during COVID, have gone up, gone down. So you might want to keep that updated to be in accordance with what's real."
Overuse of Filters
While we love our filters, we want to make sure our pics on our dating profiles match how we look in real life. No catfishing here. "Overuse of filters is definitely a faux pas because, again, it's not representing who you truly are," he says. "We want to be all about authenticity. Like that's why BLK exists because it's like you can be your real self, so with BLK, you don't have to code switch. So, I would say, like the filters and edits, let's not lean into that so much.
Lack of Initiative
Lack of initiative applies to after matching with someone. "Bumble says make the first move. We're not gonna say that, but it's like, I mean, send a message if you already matched, so it's like okay, you both swiped right on each other. Don't wait for the other person to message you first. Just go for it. I mean, all you can lose is just somebody you don't know."
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