

It's 2024, and you're ready to get back into the dating scene. Well, you're not alone. According to Jonathan Kirkland, Head of Brand and Marketing of BLK, a popular dating and lifestyle app for the Black community, the day after Christmas through Valentine's Day is considered "peak season" for dating apps. So, whether romance is on your vision board or you just want to date for fun, it's necessary to make your dating profile stand out. If you've used dating apps, then you've probably seen it all. The shady profiles with creepy photos, the lack of info or too much info in the About Me section, and much more. While we know that's not you, you could be making some mistakes that are keeping you from making a connection with a potential love interest.
In an exclusive interview, Jonathan lists 10 dating profile mistakes to avoid in 2024. Read below to kick off your dating journey in a positive way.
Blurry Pictures
Jonathan says blurry pictures are the ultimate no-no. "Pictures are your first representation of yourself on the dating app. So make sure that you have a clear picture, make sure that the picture represents you. If it's a blurry picture, people can't see you. They will see your picture before they read your profile."
Inappropriate Pictures
Next are inappropriate pictures. "Typically, they'll get flagged on dating apps by our moderators, but I mean a torso pic. I mean, even if you have a six-pack, people still want to see your face."
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Incomplete Biographies
"Another profile mistake; I will say incomplete bios because after people see your pic, if they like it. They want to, you know, get to know a little bit about you," he says.
"If the app gives you as much information to fill out like if you want kids, education, are you a smoker or do you work out, you know, fill out as much as possible because that way that also helps, you know, get you to your match quicker and can alleviate some of that time back and forth. If you know, it's not going to be a match."
Misspellings and Grammar Mistakes
Jonathan recommends that dating app users use spellcheck when writing bios. Grammar mistakes and misspelled words may show that you don't "pay attention to detail, which people probably don't want."
Being Vague About Intentions
While you may be looking for a serious relationship, other people may just be looking for a good time so revealing what you're looking for in your profile will help weed out those who don't match your intentions. "So on BLK we now have, you can select your intention right on your profile. Are you looking for long-term relationship, friends with benefits, friends, you know, things like that?"
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TMI
However, there is such a thing as too much information. "Because then that could be safety and privacy, like you don't want to put your phone number on there. I mean, you might not want to put your Snapchat or Instagram." He continues, "I will say like, keep your different social media separate and not give all your information out on your profile."
Negativity
If you're on dating apps, then you've probably seen a negative profile or two, but don't follow in those footsteps. "Even if you've had bad experiences in dating apps or relationships, you don't take it to the dating app because it's supposed to be a place of hope."
Not Updating Your Profile
Have you dyed your hair or lost weight since creating your dating profile? Then you might want to update it, sis. "I mean, you don't want to misrepresent yourself, like if you got a picture from when you were in high school, probably not the best thing because if you meet somebody in person, you're not going to look the same. People's weights, especially during COVID, have gone up, gone down. So you might want to keep that updated to be in accordance with what's real."
Overuse of Filters
While we love our filters, we want to make sure our pics on our dating profiles match how we look in real life. No catfishing here. "Overuse of filters is definitely a faux pas because, again, it's not representing who you truly are," he says. "We want to be all about authenticity. Like that's why BLK exists because it's like you can be your real self, so with BLK, you don't have to code switch. So, I would say, like the filters and edits, let's not lean into that so much.
Lack of Initiative
Lack of initiative applies to after matching with someone. "Bumble says make the first move. We're not gonna say that, but it's like, I mean, send a message if you already matched, so it's like okay, you both swiped right on each other. Don't wait for the other person to message you first. Just go for it. I mean, all you can lose is just somebody you don't know."
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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For some people, springtime can be a bit of a polarizing experience. On one hand, while they enjoy the warm weather and how pretty nature becomes, if they deal with allergies, they know that it’s only a matter of moments before they are gonna be out here with itchy eyes, a runny nose, a headache and all sorts of other allergy-related symptoms.
And why is it so rough during the spring season? The main reason is because the spring and fall seasons are when pollen likes to run amuck. And although there are medications that you can take to help to ease your allergy symptoms, there are also natural remedies that are proven to provide you with some much-needed relief as well.
Below, I have 12. Ones that are easy on your system, don’t have side effects, and can help you to enjoy spending time outdoors without all of the…allergy-related drama.
1. Consume Local Honey
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I can’t say enough how I think it’s amazing that we live in a country that will push all kinds of medications down our throats (billions of side effects and all) and yet when it comes to natural remedies, “experts” will go out of their way to disprove those. Take consuming local honey, for instance. Although I am fortunate to not have to deal with allergies (food, seasonal, etc.) at all, many people in my world do and, in spite of folks who say that using local honey in order to treat them minimizes their symptoms (because there is local pollen in local honey), some health folks think that is just a myth.
However, there are some studies that say there is some truth to this approach, especially since honey contains enzymes that help to boost your immunity and as well as reduce inflammation. My two cents: take a teaspoon of local honey every morning and see how you feel. If it works, awesome. If it doesn’t — well, with all of the other benefits that come from honey (its antioxidants, how it improves gut health, how it aids in sleep, etc.), you’re still doing your body a world of good by consuming it.
2. Use an Essential Oil Blend
I’m telling you — no matter what is going on in your life (that is health or beauty-related), there is going to be an essential oil, somewhere, that can improve it. When it comes to allergies, specifically, you should look into using a blend of sandalwood, frankincense, and Ravensara oils. Sandalwood is good for you because it helps to reduce inflammation, it has antimicrobial benefits and antioxidants and it helps to relax your system.
Frankincense has anti-inflammatory, expectorant, and antiseptic properties; it contains compounds that can bring relief to asthma-related symptoms, boost immunity, and reduce stress; frankincense makes it easier to sleep at night. And although you may not be familiar with Ravensara, it’s one that you want to get familiar with because it also strengthens your immune system and it helps to keep your lungs clear. You can put this blend into a diffuser or you can mix it with a carrier oil and rub it onto your chest before turning in for the evening.
3. Make Some Stinging Nettle Tea
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If you’ve never heard of stinging nettle before, it’s a plant that is used for a variety of health-related issues. Aside from the fact that it’s packed with vitamins A, C, magnesium, iron, calcium, amino acids, potassium, beta-carotene, and flavonoids (plant pigments that have antioxidants in them), stinging nettle also has anti-inflammatory and anti-infectious properties that help to lower your blood pressure, regulate your blood sugar and it can even help to treat prostate issues in men.
The reason why you should consider taking it as a supplement or drinking some stinging nettle tea during allergy season is it helps to reduce inflammation, and block histamine (the chemical in your immune system that causes your body to have allergy-related symptoms like sneezing, itching, and having a runny nose) receptors and reduce symptoms that are directly associated with hay fever.
4. Put a Cold Washcloth on Your Eyes
If one of the things that irks you to no end about allergy season is how itchy your eyes can get, it’s always a good idea to keep a cold washcloth close by. Not only will it help to soothe your irritated eyes as it reduces mild inflammation and puffiness, but this type of cool compress can also help to wipe away the pollen, dander, and whatever other allergens that are causing your eyes stress in the first place.
5. Eat Foods That Contain Quercetin
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There are certain foods that can help to get you through the allergy season. For instance, foods that are high in quercetin are good for you. And just what is quercetin? It’s a plant pigment that contains properties that help to lower your blood pressure, improve the quality of your workouts, and even slow down signs of aging. As far as allergies go, quercetin can help you out because it also has anti-inflammatory properties; plus, it helps to block the production of histamine. Foods that are high in quercetin include apples, kale, broccoli, red onions, and green tea.
6. Decrease Your Dairy Consumption
Something that allergies are prone to do is produce mucus. That’s because mucus is your body’s way of trying to keep allergens from going too deep into your system. And even though mucus is needed (whether we realize it or like it or not), dealing with thick mucus can oftentimes make you feel pretty miserable. That said, if you’ve heard somewhere before that consuming dairy will only produce more mucus and make it thicker too — here’s the deal. What science states is dairy doesn’t so much cause mucus to transpire so much as trigger additional production of mucus — meaning, most research says that there isn’t a direct correlation between dairy and mucus.
HOWEVER, since research also reveals that milk contains properties that are linked to diabetes and heart disease, a lot of it is full of hormones and pesticides and milk can increase inflammation in your system and inflammation is what happens when you have allergy symptoms (although yogurt is a dairy-based food that decreases inflammation) — sounds to me like it can actually work in your favor to decrease your dairy consumption during allergy season and go with some dairy alternatives (like coconut milk, almond milk, hemp milk, oat milk or cashew milk, etc.) instead.
7. Try Some Butterbur
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If you’re looking for some all-natural allergy relief, you definitely should give (the plant) butterbur a try. As I was doing some research on it, I noticed that it has a pretty solid reputation when it comes to treating migraines, hay fever, and asthma as well as bringing relief to symptoms like sneezing, itchy eyes, and nasal congestion. Although many people are fans of it, if you choose to take it in supplement form, make sure to run it by your doctor first.
For one thing, it could affect how other medications are processed in your system. Also, too much of it has the potential to stress your liver out. Oh, and if you are allergic to ragweed, it won’t help you much because it is actually a part of the ragweed plant family (sorry).
8. Enjoy Outdoors Before Noon
If you’re someone who enjoys the great outdoors yet wants to keep allergens from getting on your last nerve, it’s best to spend time outside between the hours of 4 a.m. and noon. Apparently, that is the time of the day when pollen is at its lowest. And when does it like to show out the most? That would be between 2 p.m. and 9 p.m., to be exact. So, if you like to meditate or exercise outdoors, doing it before lunchtime is going to be your best bet…as far as your allergies are concerned.
9. Change Your Clothes As Soon As You Get Home
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Some of us are old enough to remember having grandparents who hated the mere thought of us wearing “outside clothes” for too long after coming inside their house. Well, if you’re someone who deals with allergies, you should actually keep that tradition going because your clothes probably have pollen all over them. And, if you wearing those same articles while sitting on the couch or resting on your bed, you’ve just tracked all of that into your house…and your body will react similarly to how it did while you were outdoors.
10. Take Your Showers at Night
Just like it’s a good idea to change your clothes during allergy season, you should consider taking a shower before turning in at night as well. Not only does that significantly decrease your chances of ending up with allergens in your bedding, but showers before bedtime also help to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, and clear up any nasal congestion that you might have. For tips on how to have a fabulous nighttime shower during the spring season, check out “How To Turn Your Showers Into A Tranquil DIY Spa.”
11. Close Your Windows. Turn on an Air Purifier.
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There is nothing like fresh air, I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Still, if you’ve got allergy issues, opening up your windows is going to bring some of what’s outdoors indoors. That’s why it’s best that you keep your windows closed as much as possible and that you turn on an air purifier. Air purifiers are bomb because they help to decrease allergens, contaminants, and dust particles and they can even reduce the spreading of certain viruses that may be in the air.
Just keep in mind that although air purifiers are effective, they can’t totally remove any of these things nor are they the best at getting rid of mold, nicotine, or animal dander. Just something to keep in mind.
12. Have Sex
I mean, you can check out articles like “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day” to see why it can never hurt to get some (safe) nookie in as much as possible; however, when it comes to your allergies, specifically, science says that engaging in sexual activity can help to strengthen your immune system.
Case in point: one study revealed that participants who had sex no less than three times a week ended up having more of the antibody immunoglobulin A in their saliva which helps to fight off viruses, bacteria, and health-related issues like bronchitis, asthma, sinusitis, eye and ear infections too. Hmph. As if you needed convincing to have more orgasms, right? I’m sayin’.
BONUS: See a Reputable Allergist
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And finally, definitely one of the reasons why allergy season is irritating for so many is because they aren’t able to find the proper relief — and that is because they are playing “Google expert” instead of actually making an appointment with an allergist. Why should you do that? Because they are professionally trained to test you in a way that will help you to get to the root of what you actually are allergic to.
So, if you do indeed have allergy symptoms yet you’ve never been officially diagnosed with what is causing them, it’s worth the investment to see a specialist in the field. The sooner you know what the issue is, the sooner you can find some much-needed relief. Zocdoc is one site that can help you find an allergist who is in your area and network. Go here for more info.
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