Kevin & Melissa Fredericks Delve Into The Importance Of Your Partner’s Love Language
If you've never discovered your love language through The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, I highly recommend that you do – whether single or married. It provides a lot of great, useful, and quality insight when it comes to how we love, or show love, in different ways. By knowing your love language, as well as your partner's, you're more astutely aware of each other's wants and needs…which, ultimately, can help prevent someone from turning a "mountain into a molehill".
When Eric and I got married, I remember all too well some of our first Christmases and birthdays together. During the early years, unfortunately, my husband -- and he will tell you -- just couldn't seem to get it right when it came time to exchange gifts (based on my expectations). Eric would wait until the very last minute, only to present me with something that wasn't even remotely close to what I wanted, let alone, what I specifically told him to get. Let's just say, I was frustrated and annoyed and I had to use the return policy on more than one occasion.
I, on the other hand, would spend months planning the perfect gift or surprise for him, only to receive what I considered a mediocre response from him…compared to how I thought he would react. Hence, I used to feel as if he didn't appreciate what I did for him because his reaction wasn't exactly what I expected it to be.
Needless to say, we were both trying to communicate our love based on what we wanted for each other versus what the other person truly wanted or cared about. We quickly discovered that we spoke two different love languages. Obviously, my primary love language was gift giving, whereas Eric's was quality time and physical touch.
In an episode of Black Love, appropriately titled "Mountains and Molehills", the theme of love languages, amongst other topics, is discussed throughout, including with Ricky Bell (member of the legendary group, New Edition) and his wife Amy.
Kevin Fredericks (also known as "KevOnStage") also shares a similar experience to explain the differences between him and his wife, Melissa (Mrs. KevOnStage), and how they showcase their love towards each other.
"We [give] what we want people to have but not what they want, and then get mad when they don't like it. You have to love someone in a way that they understand as love, and what they feel like is love to them as opposed to doing things for them that you want."
Whether it's different love languages, backgrounds and experiences, or different communication styles, this episode of Black Love is sure to provide some perspective and insight on how couples have handled, and are still learning how to handle, their differences in order to make it work in their relationships.
Be sure to tune in to Black Love on OWN on Saturday at 9/8c.
Kevin Says "You Have to Love Someone in a Way They Understand" | Black Love | Oprah Winfrey Networkwww.youtube.com
Featured image courtesy of OWN.
Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Tyler James Williams Explains Why His And Quinta Brunson 'Abbott Elementary' Characters Should Remain Friends
While Abbott Elementary fans are hoping that Janine and Gregory end up together, the show’s star has another take. Tyler James Williams plays Gregory on the Emmy award-winning sitcom, and he recently stopped by The Jennifer Hudson Show to share his point of view on his storyline with Janine, which Quinta Brunson plays.
“I hate to say it. I know that everybody’s always mad at me for this. I don’t necessarily want to see them together,” he revealed. “It’s partially an actor’s choice, but also somebody who, like, I read a lot of scripts all the time. I watch a lot of TV, a lot of film. I don’t think that we see displays of platonic love between two people often. I think it’s really easy to go right to they have feelings for each other, therefore they should be together. I like this dynamic of exploring withholding that and just actively loving each other where they are. That I like to see more.”
If you recall, they were co-workers who became friends but were secretly crushing on each other. They’ve had many awkward run-ins during and after school, like the unforgettable club scene where they were dancing nervously with each other in season one, and in season two, they finally kiss. However, it only made things even more awkward, and they decided to just be friends. Tyler further explained why he thinks it’s important to showcase that type of relationship on screen.
“I think it’s time for that. I think TV allows people to see things that could be their lives for the first time, and I think seeing a healthy friendship that is deeply caring about one another in a work atmosphere needs to be shown more than the relationship,” he concluded.
Abbott Elementary comes on every Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST on ABC.
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Feature image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images
