

What The Church Will Not Tell You About Depression & Suicide
"In the name of Jesus, I bind and rebuke the spirit of depression, loneliness, self-doubt, worry, suicide, and frustration."
Whew, chile! After all of that praying and tarrying in the Spirit, sweating, oil rubbing and slinging, doing the ugly cry, calling down fire from heaven, and finally that hug -- that sweet hug of comfort -- we leave the altar with swollen eyes, a damp Kleenex and confidence that that prayer was IT! We are finally free from depression and suicidal thoughts.
But are we really?
You see, sis, I'm going to tell you something very important about depression that your Pastor or ministry leader will not tell you. And not because they forgot or don't want to tell you, but simply because they either do not have personal experience with depression, they do and have not yet received help for it, or they have the mentality that prayer and being around the saints is a good resolve for depression.
So, here's the truth:
Depression doesn't go away...ever.
OK, now that we have that out the way, let's talk.
For my Black girls who have considered suicide as a result of depression, mental illness can cripple your lifestyle socially, physically, and spiritually if you do not reach for help beyond prayer. Although the prior statement may seem like doom, let this one inspire you: There is hope. Life does get better.
You can believe in your Higher Power out loud and cope successfully with depression. How do I know? Because I live this life every day. And I've come to realize that yes, asking God to help me with my depression and suicidal tendencies has helped me tremendously. But only because I coupled that prayer with practical actions. Faith without action won't work...come on Church!
As a Black woman and minister, I have realized five important things about coping with depression:
- I can be a believer and still be depressed...and that is OK. Really honey, it is.
- I can get help to deal and cope with depression in a productive and positive manner from people and/or organizations that are not faith-based. If one more person tells me to just pray about it...chile.
- Activating my faith to cope with depression requires me to actually get up, get out, and start doing something about it. Joining a support group with like-minded individuals is LIFE! Creating a positive environment within my personal space (sage, lavender, sandalwood, anyone?) helps with your mood.
- Negative thoughts that creep into your mind when you are out living your best life will happen because depression does not go away. However, you have the power to change your thoughts to something positive.
- Choosing to use medicine your medical provider recommends is OK! If it helps you, use it and yes, you can still believe in your Higher Power and pray, girlfriend!
So, how are you going to live your life? Suffer in silence or thrive out loud? I choose the latter.
If you or someone you know is currently experiencing dark or suicidal thoughts, know that there is hope. Call the 24/7 free National Suicidal Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can find additional resources here.
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Danielle Parks is a strategy coach, author of A Girlfriends Guide to Breaking Through: 3 Secrets for my Girls!, speaker, minister, mental health advocate, and mother of two ('Butterscotch' The Cat being #2!), who loves empowering women with practical advice that they can apply in their lives in order to create a life they love. To keep up with her, follow her on Instagram and check out her website.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Victoria Monét's 'The Jaguar Tour' Is A Lesson In The Art Of Performing
There’s people who perform songs, and then there’s performers, and let me tell you something: Victoria Monét is a PERFORMER. I first fell in love with her as an artist after hearing her hit song “Moment,” and then when her album JAGUAR was released in 2020, I was hooked. JAGUAR was one of those albums that I kept on repeat as I and the rest of the world were going through the motions of being in a pandemic. I remember watching her perform her single “Jaguar” from the album on her YouTube channel, and the way she performed so effortlessly with such confidence, I knew I had to see her live.
Luckily, I got the opportunity. Along with dropping JAGUAR II, which features the viral single “On My Mama,” Victoria also announced The Jaguar Tour, and as soon as the tickets dropped, it quickly sold out. I attended her Atlanta show at the Buckhead Theatre, and besides being met with a sea of concertgoers from wall to wall, my ears were immediately hit with a beautiful voice from none other than Alex Vaughn, who opened for the mother of one. Once Alex finished her set, it was time for the main event.
Victoria Monét
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
As soon as Victoria stepped on stage, it was hers. She commanded the room with her sultry voice and hypnotic dance moves, performing songs from albums JAGUAR I and II and previous projects such as Life After Love, Pt. 1. Fans were singing her songs word for word to the point where, at times, you no longer heard her singing. However, it was clear that she was in a room filled with love and support, and she also showed it back on stage. The singer rarely took breaks in between songs and dazzled fans with her smooth moves that is reminiscent of the legendary Janet Jackson.
One of my favorite moments was when she performed “Cadillac (A Pimp’s Anthem).” She dressed in a trench coat and fedora, complete with her pimp cane, and another big moment was when she performed “Stop (Askin’ Me 4Shyt)”. Overall, it was nice to vibe out to live performances of some of my personal faves like “Ass Like That,” “How Does It Make You Feel,” “Alright,” and “Big Boss.” In a recent cover story for Galore, Victoria revealed what she hopes concert attendees walk away with.
“On tour, I really wanna give people the best version of Victoria on stage, better than I’ve ever been before. I’m hoping people have the time of their life at the show,” she said. After working behind the scenes as a songwriter for so long, the California native now has all eyes on her, and it’s clear she was ready for this moment.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images