The month begins with a mystical Full Moon in Pisces inviting us to surrender our plans to align with those of the Divine. Your popularity is getting you places when Venus enters Leo, making you a recipient for good fortune and generosity from others. On the 9th, Mars goes retrograde encouraging you to slow down a bit to reassess how you've been expending your energy. The New Moon is a great time to implement a healthier approach to managing stress and anxiety.
When the Sun joins Mercury in Libra, the focus is on revising contracts and balancing relationships—whether that be with another person, your work, and even yourself. On the 27th, Mercury enters Scorpio, encouraging you to nurture the connections you'd like to develop more intimacy with. At the end of the month, Saturn joins Jupiter direct, helping you honor your limits moving forward.
Check out what your horoscopes have in store for the month of September.
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleSeptember begins with a transcendent Full Moon helping you embrace the chapter that is closing in your life with grace. When Venus enters Leo, you're encouraged to invite more play into your life. What activities and hobbies is your inner child yearning to explore? Your ruling planet, Mars, begins its retrograde on the 9th, inviting you to get a little selfish as you prioritize more time for pursuing what you're passionate about. On the 17th, the New Moon supports you in establishing healthier habits, making this the perfect time to develop mind-body awareness.
The Sun meets up with Mercury on the 22nd, drawing your focus to contracts, clients, and your significant other during the next month. Renegotiating the terms of agreement and discussing potential business moves with your partner are encouraged at this time. Towards the end of the month, Jupiter and Saturn are both direct, helping you move forward in your career endeavors with a more grounded perspective of your limitations. Remember, babe—it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. You might as well enjoy yourself along the way.
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleWe enter September with a revealing Full Moon gifting you with foresight into your future and the people you need to surround yourself with to bring your vision to reality. Remember—teamwork makes the dream work! When Venus enters Leo, you may be feeling some pressure to relocate or make some adjustments to your current living environment. Be mindful of family being more demanding of your time or even a little dramatic over the next few weeks. During Mars retrograde, you're challenged to develop a little more patience and compassion—not only for others but yourself as well.
Your creative genius is at a peak when Jupiter and Uranus meet up around the 12th, giving you the leading edge when it comes to expanding your business and establishing more wealth. The New Moon is the perfect time to plant the seeds for your next creative project, leading you to an abundant harvest. On the 22nd, the Sun and Mercury bring your focus to creating more balance in your daily routine. Getting the bag is important but so is your health. Towards the end of the month, you're encouraged to renegotiate contracts and establish better boundaries within a close relationship. On the 29th, Saturn joins Jupiter, empowering you to advocate for your growth by trusting your inner guide and committing to your goals.
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleSeptember kicks off with a sensitive Full Moon encouraging you to establish better energetic boundaries between yourself and your career as you rise to new heights. When Mercury enters Libra, it's time to balance out your life with some fun. Hit up your girls for a happy hour, go on a date, or do something creative (and completely unproductive). Social media is a powerful money-making tool for you once Venus enters Leo. Your presence is even more dynamic than usual, which could attract some new opportunities your way.
On the 9th, Mars goes retro, giving you a chance to reevaluate any recent tension between you and some folks in your social circle. Don't feel bad for choosing to focus on yourself to avoid the drama.The New Moon is a good time to clean and organize your home. What do you need to get rid of or bring into your sanctuary to put your mind at ease? Towards the end of the month, Mercury shifts gears, bringing your focus to your sexual and reproductive health, making it a perfect time to schedule your annual screening. When Saturn links up with Jupiter direct on the 29th, you're embracing the power of your sexual energy and the ability it has to transform, and heal, your life.
Cancer
CancerLaci Jordan for xoNecoleSeptember kicks off with a magical Full Moon shining in the spotlight. Release that novel, launch that workshop, or start that mentorship program. You are wise beyond your years and people are eager to receive the wealth of information that you have to share. Family matters may get a little tense when Mercury enters Libra. Don't feel guilty about asserting some boundaries. It's not your job to take care of everyone. When Mars goes retro, you'll be feeling some pressure when it comes to climbing up the ranks in your chosen career. Exerting too much energy may be futile, so try to strategize a way to work smarter, not harder.
When Jupiter enters Capricorn, promising business partnerships and opportunities are on the table. The New Moon on the 17th is a great time to start learning a new skill that can help you establish a more solid financial foundation for your future. On the 22nd, the Sun enters Libra, bringing your focus to beautifying your living environment and harmonizing with the people you live with. This is also a supportive time to browse the market for your next home or to invest in a property to gain some passive income. Love matters get steamy when Mercury moves into Scorpio. Be mindful of overly-suspicious, and borderline obsessive, thoughts about your romantic interest. The month wraps up with Saturn going direct and you potentially taking a relationship to the next level. Do I hear wedding bells in the air?
Leo
LeoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYour intuition and your emotions are a little more sensitive than usual, thanks to the Full Moon at the beginning of the month. Use discernment to gauge whether there's more than meets the eye or if you're just being a little paranoid. When Venus enters your sign on the 6th, you're a magnet for good fortune and a lot of attention, making this a good time to revamp your appearance in some way. During Mars retro, you're invited to connect with the power of your spiritual allies to help you move the proverbial mountains in your life. The New Moon on the 17th is a supportive time for monetizing any talents you've been sleeping on. Your gifts are meant to be used in service for yourself and others.
On the 22nd, Mercury meets up with the Sun, helping you boost your social media presence and your influence over others. Use your power wisely. Be mindful of family tension when Mercury enters Scorpio. Secrets may be revealed that result in you questioning someone's motives. If you're signing a lease or buying a home around this time, pay close attention to the fine print! By the end of the month, Jupiter and Saturn link up to help you get more serious about your health and that bad habit that needs to be kicked to the curb. Remember, babe—it's mind over matter and you've got what it takes to come out on top (and looking good AF when you do).
Virgo
VirgoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYour birthday month begins with a mystical Full Moon inviting you to align with some powerful allies that you can make magic with. Don't be surprised if you've outgrown some connections that no longer seem to fit in your life. Let them go with love and continue on with your glow up. When Mercury enters Libra, you're focused on securing the bag and possibly a contract that can help you achieve your financial goals. Love matters are a little more quiet this month when Venus enters Leo. You could be attracting lots of affection and gifts from some unexpected sources. During Mars retro, you'll be feeling motivated to find healthy outlets for your anger. Opt for busting a nut instead of busting somebody over the head.
It's time to make a wish and blow out the candles on your New Moon. Set an intention for something you'd like to see come to fruition by the Full Moon in Virgo during Pisces season. On the 22nd, the Sun enters Libra, placing a spotlight on those hidden gifts of yours. Don't be shy, boo! It's time to shine and monetize! This is also a favorable time for renegotiating outdated contracts as well. When Mercury enters Scorpio, you may find that everyone wants to tell you their secrets. Uphold your integrity and keep your lips sealed. There could even be a project that you're working on behind the scenes as you await the perfect opportunity to reveal it to the world. By the end of the month, Jupiter and Saturn are meeting up to help you take a more practical approach to your creative endeavors that will assure your success and establish your legacy for many years to come.
Libra
LibraLaci Jordan for xoNecoleIf you've been having a hard time breaking that stubborn habit, the Full Moon on the 2nd helps you experience the clarity and breakthrough needed to make a shift in your lifestyle. When Mercury enters your sign, you're encouraged to find a more balanced approach to managing that busy schedule of yours. Reach out to someone in your social circle that has the expertise you need so you can delegate that heavy load of responsibilities. Enhancing your online presence is also supported while Venus is in Leo. During Mars retro, you're invited to check in with yourself and your ever-changing needs. Are your relationships still serving you in a way that is mutually beneficial?
The New Moon on the 17th encourages you to reflect and rest. What mental baggage do you need to drop so you can start living your life with less judgement? Your birthday season officially begins on the 22nd, motivating you to assert yourself and your needs in a way that assures your ultimate fulfillment. Towards the end of the month, Jupiter and Saturn are linking up, making this a supportive time to move forward with those home renovations, a relocation, or property investments that can help you establish wealth for you and the generations to come.
Scorpio
ScorpioLaci Jordan for xoNecoleRomance takes front and center stage at the beginning of the month. This Full Moon has you inspired to express your love through a song, a poem, or even some weird interpretative dance routine that your lover can't resist. This energy is super fertile for you, so if you're ready for a baby, now's the time to shoot your shot. When Mercury enters Libra, you'll be balancing out the scales of karma which could result in some endings. Trust that whatever, or whoever, is exiting your life is meant to do so at this time. When Venus enters Leo, you're feeling the pressure to make some changes in your career. Be mindful of butting heads with an authority figure as this may be the very thing that blocks your blessings.
During Mars retrograde, you may find yourself having difficulty expressing your anger. Don't internalize but don't project either. Exercise and meditation will be your best friends during this transit. On the 17th, the New Moon encourages you to expand your social network and strategize new ways to enhance your presence online. When the Sun enters Libra, it's time to prioritize rest in preparation for your birthday season. You're invited to stay low and build when Mercury moves into your sign on the 27th. The month wraps up with Jupiter and Saturn challenging you to be more communicative about your personal boundaries instead of assuming people are just as psychic as you are.
Sagittarius
SagittariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe Full Moon at the beginning of the month has you focused on home and family. Be mindful of brewing tension with your kinfolk or roommates. Sometimes it's best to take the high road instead of trying to get your point across to someone that's not open to hearing you out. When Venus enters Leo, opportunities to travel abroad and make some extra cash can present themselves to you. On the 9th, Mars goes retro, inviting you to validate your inner child and some of the frustrations you're feeling. Maybe you've been working a little too hard and need some time to play.
The New Moon could find you receiving a promotion or rising up within the ranks of your chosen career. A good leader doesn't just boss folks around. They're also willing to be of service to others. Embrace this approach to assure your success. On the 22nd, Mercury and the Sun meet up, making this a good time to connect with friends and share your goals with people that can help you achieve your dreams. By the end of the month, Jupiter and Saturn are helping you achieve financial gain through a healthy balance of curiosity and discipline.
Capricorn
CapricornLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month kicks off with a healing Full Moon helping you resolve some communication barriers between you and others. When you allow yourself to be more vulnerable, you can experience more meaningful interactions with others. When Venus enters Leo, you're feeling more courageous when it comes to nurturing more emotionally intimate connections. It's time to put the tough bravado aside to receive the support you pretend you don't want. During Mars retro, you'll need to learn healthier ways to express any frustrations you have with family members or roommates. If your living circumstances are undesirable, take accountability for what you need to do to change things.
The New Moon on the 17th supports your interest in expanding your knowledge, making this a good time to apply to school or enroll in that workshop that can take your skills to the next level. On the 22nd, Mercury and the Sun link up bringing your focus to career. You could be experiencing a major achievement that deserves some celebration. Gon' head and pop that fancy bottle of wine open in honor of the moves you're making. When Mercury enters Scorpio, a friend may come to you bearing a secret. Honor the code and keep your mouth shut to avoid any drama later down the line. The month wraps up with Jupiter and Saturn meeting up in your sign, helping you recognize just how far you've come and also how much further you need to go. Remember—it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. You might as well enjoy the ride.
Aquarius
AquariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleSeptember kicks off with a magical Full Moon that could have you in the spotlight sharing your gifts with the world (and making some extra coin, too). When Mercury enters Libra, you're making plans for that next stamp on your passport to shake the COVID cabin fever. Your relationships are your greatest teachers this month when Venus enters Leo. Don't be afraid to ask for more or seek your sustenance through new connections that generously provide you with the support that you desire. On the 9th, Mars goes retrograde and you may find it difficult to express your anger in a productive way. Getting to the root of your rage will help you avoid projecting onto others.
The New Moon invites you to explore the voice of your inner critic. You may be surprised to find out that the source isn't even you. Schedule a session with your therapist to help you discover who the culprit is if you don't already know. When the Sun enters Libra, you could find yourself going back to school or in the position of a teacher to others. Brush up on your expertise so you feel more confident in your presentation. Use more discretion when Mercury enters Scorpio on the 27th. Everyone ain't gotta know your business when it comes to the career moves you're making. The month wraps up with Jupiter and Saturn, helping you establish a better relationship between rest and work. Rome wasn't built overnight, babe. It's OK to take your time.
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe spotlight is on you with the Full Moon in your sign on the 2nd. Don't be shy, babe. It's time to share your magic with the world. When Venus enters Leo, you're focused on loving that beautiful physical vessel of yours. Pamper yourself with a lavish self-care routine, get back into working out, and feed your body with the sustenance you need to thrive. On the 9th, Mars goes retro encouraging you to reel in the impulsive spending so you can achieve some of those financial goals you have, whether that's paying off debt or saving money for a major purchase later this year.
The New Moon on the 17th invites you to set the intention for your ideal business partnership or client relationship. It's also a good time to consider what traits you desire in a committed romantic connection. Does your current love interest have what it takes to go the long haul with you? On the 22nd, Mercury meets up with the Sun, helping you get clear about the emotional baggage you need to release to come into more balance. It's time to let go of the outdated narrative where you give so much of yourself to the detriment of your own well-being. When Mercury shifts into Scorpio, you could find yourself teaching others about spiritual topics you're well-versed in. This is also a good time to take a secluded getaway by yourself or with someone you want to become more intimate with. The month comes to a close with Jupiter and Saturn, helping you get clear about your boundaries with people in your social circle. A much-needed reality check will help you determine who you should (or shouldn't) be investing your energy into.
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The Final Mercury Retrograde Of 2024 Is Here—How This Bold Energy Will Shift Your Perspective
The final Mercury retrograde of the year arrives this month, and this is an opportunity to close one chapter and prepare for a new one. Mercury retrogrades are the time of the year when you take a step back, assess where your life currently is, and be a little more flexible with how things are playing out for you. When Mercury is in retrograde, miscommunications and misdirections are more likely; however, this isn’t the time to fear where you are headed; it’s more about looking at things from a different perspective right now.
Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
Your Sun Sign and Rising Sign Horoscopes for Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
Coveteur
CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
Coveteur
LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
Coveteur
CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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The Holiday Bedroom Debate: Sleeping Together, Apart, Or Not At All?
I can’t speak for everyone, but my grandmother has strict rules around who can share a bed at her house. No one will ever be “shacking up” under her roof, so for me and her other grandchildren, that means leaving your boyfriend/girlfriend at home or footing the bill for a hotel during an already costly holiday season. Even for family members who have more liberal house rules, sharing a home with my parents will ensure a silent night for us all.
The holidays bring joy, connection, and quality time with loved ones—but they can also put a damper on intimacy for couples. It’s hard to get your jingle bells rocked when you have family sleeping under the same roof. Family visits and hosting obligations often disrupt intimacy, raising questions like: Should we have sex when relatives are in the next room? Should we follow traditional family rules about sleeping arrangements? How can we even find the time to have sex? And how do we balance respecting traditions with honoring our relationship?
Navigating these dynamics can be particularly challenging when we factor in cultural, familial, and sometimes religious expectations. Sharing space with family doesn’t have to send you into a dry spell. Here’s a guide to maintaining intimacy and harmony during holiday gatherings so that presents aren’t the only thing getting unwrapped this Christmas.
Grandma Says “No Shacking Up!” and Other Common Challenges
So we know that many families with conservative values may not want unmarried couples sleeping in bed together. They may not even like the idea of married couples having sex while family is visiting. Danielle Simpson-Baker, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, explains that “limited privacy, cultural or family-imposed rules, and differing expectations about behavior in shared spaces can lead to disconnection.”
Stress from hosting or visiting family, paired with packed schedules, can exacerbate these feelings and leave little time for you to connect with your loved one. Stress on its own is a known libido killer, but when paired with complicated family dynamics, you can be sure that sex will be a low priority. Who has time anyway? We’re hosting!
For unmarried couples, family norms often add an extra layer of complexity. Catherine Drysdale, a Sex and Relationship Coach, notes, “The holidays can disrupt intimacy in all the usual ways—shared bedrooms, squeaky beds, and not-so-subtle interruptions. Add in the pressure to appear as the perfect couple in front of relatives, and emotional and physical connection often takes a backseat.” Put all of this together, and you have the perfect recipe for low desire and anxiety around sex.
Couples may also be nervous that family will hear them if they decide to do more than just kiss under the mistletoe. The supposed embarrassment alone can keep lovers from even attempting to be intimate, even if they really want to.
How To Navigate? Communicate and Set Expectations
Communication is lubrication, so having an open dialogue with your partner before the holidays is essential.
Discuss potential discomforts and agree on boundaries. “Ask questions like: Are we okay abstaining from sex for a few days? How do we feel about sharing a bed if it’s against family rules?” advises Simpson-Baker. Being on the same page means you can present a united front to family when the time comes and avoid any conflict.
Drysdale suggests creating a “yes/no/maybe” list to clarify comfort levels. “The goal is to avoid surprises or misunderstandings once you’re there,” she explains. Setting an intention for the trip—whether it’s prioritizing family harmony or finding small moments to connect—can also help. No matter what people may think, sex is important! It’s okay to prioritize intimacy, even during the holidays.
Respect Family Rules While Honoring Your Relationship
While it is important to communicate with your partner before settling in with family, balancing their expectations with yours can be a delicate, but necessary, dance. Simpson-Baker emphasizes the importance of balance: “Minor compromises—like sleeping separately—don’t define the strength of your relationship. At the same time, if certain boundaries feel overly restrictive, couples can advocate for themselves respectfully.” This is where being a united front comes in. Getting clear on what feels acceptable to you and your partner ahead of time will help these tough conversations go a bit smoother.
It may also help to talk to your family before the holiday celebrations begin. Gwen Walsh, a Sex Educator and Consultant, shares a personal example: “I communicated with my mom why it was important to me to sleep in the same bed as my partner. I asked her to give me an opportunity to earn her trust. After a long conversation, she agreed to compromise.” While this approach isn’t guaranteed to work in every situation, it highlights the value of respectful communication.
Creative Ways To Maintain Intimacy While Visiting Family
When family doesn’t budge or if you just decide it is not that big of a deal, there are still ways to prioritize intimacy. If privacy for physical intimacy isn’t possible, focus on emotional and non-sexual forms of connection. Simpson-Baker suggests small gestures like “squeezing each other’s hand under the table or sharing a quiet conversation at night.” Small gestures still matter and can help couples maintain a sense of normalcy.
Sexologist Natassia Miller also highlights the importance of daily rituals. “Prioritize non-sexual touch. A long hug or a six-second kiss can maintain your connection and decrease stress levels,” she advises. These small daily rituals can also serve as a form of extended foreplay, setting you up for an explosive connection when the holidays are done.
The Bigger Picture
While holiday dynamics can feel overwhelming, it’s important to remember that these moments are temporary. Whether you’re sneaking in a private conversation during a walk or laughing together over a family tradition, small acts of connection can sustain your relationship through the chaos.
Ultimately, as Walsh puts it, “Your partnership exists in its own unique context. Lead with empathy, honesty, and respect, and you’ll find a way to navigate even the most challenging family dynamics.”
This holiday season, embrace the opportunity to grow together as a couple while navigating the complexities of family dynamics. With thoughtful communication, creativity, and a united front, you can honor your relationship and still enjoy the festive chaos of the holidays.
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