OK, let me put something right on out here first. The "extra sweet" that is in this title is more like a play on words when it comes to the next holiday that's on the horizon. We all know that it's Valentine's Day. The reason why I think it's important to get that out into the open is because I am so over all of these articles that try to imply that there is something that we can do to make our vagina taste like a pineapple smoothie or chocolate ice cream. Anyone who has told you that lied. BIG TIME.
However, there are definitely things that you can add to your daily routine that will cause your vagina (and vulva) to be fresher, less acidic and can provide a hint of sweetness. That's what we're gonna get into on this fine day.
So, if your plans for V-Day is to be your partner's sweet thang, here are some easy hacks that will make your partner enjoy you, on a whole 'nother level. Ready?
1. Avoid the Following Foods
Who hasn't heard that pineapple juice can make your vagina taste sweeter? Yes and no. Again, the reality is that our hot pocket wasn't created to taste like a fruit salad, no matter what we do—so it won't. With that said, it is true that our discharge/natural lubrication can somewhat shift in how acidic or salty it is, based on our diet. That's because what we eat does affect our mucosal secretions.
That's why it's a good idea to avoid foods with sulfur in them like onions and garlic (for self-explanatory reasons, I'm sure); sugary foods (because it can throw off your pH balance); dairy (it can suppress your immunity and also throw off your vagina's pH); asparagus (it makes urine and sometimes discharge smell) and red meat (it tends to be high in saturated fat which can lead to bacterial infections). Avoid them for how long? Eh, if you're planning on a lot of oral action for Valentine's Day, going without these, starting the Tuesday prior, is a safe bet.
2. Drink More Water
We're made up of 60-65 percent water which is why we need to drink it on a daily basis. Water is good for us because it flushes out toxins; regulates our body temperature; helps to keep us regular; strengthens our immunity; helps to keep us in a good mood; keeps us hydrated; reduces breakouts and helps us to produce more saliva and lubrication—both are important when it comes to fellatio and cunnilingus.
Also, since water helps to remove bacteria, this is another way to keep your vagina extra fresh from the inside out. It can only get better if that water has a few mint sprigs in it or if you decide to consume some infused water from time to time.
3. Try Some Kefir
I think I've shared before that I've got a fungal sensitivity. As a result, I have had a few more yeast infections (not just my vagina either; one time I had one underneath my breasts that was hellacious) than the average person, along with a couple of bouts of tinea versicolor. Anyway, the last time that I had a yeast infection and got prescribed an antibiotic, I knew that I needed to take some sort of probiotic because drugs tend to wipe out good and bad bacteria; probiotics restore the good that was lost (so that you don't end up with a yeast infection all over again).
Something that can help you with this is kefir which is basically a low-fat fermented milk. Before you turn up your nose, at the end of the day, it's pretty much drinkable yogurt. What makes kefir so good for you is it can help to control your blood sugar levels, lower your cholesterol, improve digestion, control your weight and, it's got antibacterial and antifungal properties that will keep your vagina in great health. Since adding kefir to my regular diet, I've noticed that my vagina smells even more pleasant. Some other consumers have told me that their partners can taste the difference, in the best way possible, too.
4. Lay Off of the Coffee and Alcohol
No matter how much you like java or wine, about 48 hours going into Valentine's Day, you should probably lay up off of both of them. As far as coffee goes, the caffeine in it can actually deplete vagina of the vitamins and minerals that it needs to remain healthy. Not only that but it has a way of altering the odor of your genitalia—and not in a good way. Alcohol? While on one hand, it can increase your libido, it also has a way of dehydrating your system as well. No one wants a dry va-jay-jay. So, try and chill on the liquor in the days leading up to V-Day. Have it on the actual day instead.
5. Snack on Some Celery
Celery doesn't taste like much of anything. I think we all can agree on that. Still, it's a really good idea to have some in your fridge so that you can chomp on a few stalks, at least a couple of times a week. On the health tip, it's 95 percent water (which means it can help to keep you hydrated while flushing out toxins). Plus, celery contains a good amount of vitamins A, C and K. Also, the magnesium, iron and calcium in it can neutralize acids within your system. Plus, celery has a good amount of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory compounds. As far as your vagina goes, because celery does contain Vitamin C, it's able to keep the bad bacteria at bay. Also, the chlorophyll in celery will make your va-jay-jay smell more pleasant too.
6. Take Some Cran-Cherry-Apple Shots
Nothing can make your vagina taste just like it. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That said, there are some fruits that contain nutrients that can make our vagina a little more delightful and appealing. Cranberries are loaded with potent antioxidants that will keep your pH levels balanced. Bing cherries also have antioxidants as well as anti-inflammatory compounds. Apples are awesome because the phytoestrogen phloridzin and its antioxidants help to increase blood flow to your vaginal region while also increasing lubrication. Just imagine what a combination of this is (go with 100 percent juice; the extra sugary kind will work against you rather than for you).
7. Play with Some Frozen Grapes
Something that is super stimulating when it comes to sex is playing around with temperatures in the sense of going from warm to cold. On the cool tip, how about bringing some frozen grapes into the mix? Because grapes have a thin skin on them and they are made up of 82 percent water, your partner can tease you with them, all over your vaginal area, without worrying about whether they will irritate you days later.
I'm telling you, a frozen grape on your clitoral hood will feel amazing for you. Then you both sharing the grape will taste unbelievable to you both.
8. Don’t Forget About Coconut and Cinnamon Oil
Back when I was gettin' it in, you couldn't get me to not have a mixture of coconut oil and cinnamon oil on a bed stand somewhere. Coconut oil is dope because it contains properties to keep your vagina drama-feeling-free and it's able to safely dilute the potency of the cinnamon oil. Cinnamon oil is awesome because it provides a warming effect and the oil itself is cinnamon-y and sweet. For the skeptics, no it doesn't burn. Just make sure to keep the "less is more" approach in mind. Anyway, if you want a gift that keeps on giving, this is a combo that is pretty unmatched.
9. Cop Some Flavored Lube
If you're not ready to take the step of basically DIY-ing your own tasty lubricant, there are plenty of flavored ones on the market that are safe to use whether you're planning on using it for oral sex or…all things sex. If you want a lil' help choosing a brand that best suits your personal needs and desires, Let's Talk Sex reviewed 12 different ones. You can check 'em all out here.
10. Add Some Rosewater…to Your Bath Water
Did you know that rosewater has the ability to enhance the flavor of things? This is why it's sometimes an ingredient in different kinds of sauces and desserts. Since the properties in rosewater are also really good for you when it comes to things like treating infections, soothing your skin, and improving your mood, I bet you can see why I added it to this list of ways to make your vagina sweeter.
Adding some rosewater to your bath water allows you to gently cleanse your vagina. Then, if you add a little bit of it to your outer labia before slipping into something sexy, your vagina will smell feminine and inviting—the perfect combination for a pretty sweet 'n sexy Valentine's Day evening, if you ask me. Enjoy. Both of you. #wink
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (firstname.lastname@example.org) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Amber Riley Is In Her Element
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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Chilli Opens Up About Flak She Received For Refusing To Settle In Dating And How Matthew Lawrence Has Everything On Her 'List'
Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas' dating journey displays how refusing to settle, and setting standards could lead one to find their ideal partner.
Over the years, The TLC group member had high-profile relationships with music producer Dallas Austin, with whom she shares an adult son, and R&B singer Usher.
Since then, Thomas has confirmed that she’s now dating actor Matthew Lawrence. Thomas and Lawrence, who were romantically linked in the summer of 2022 when they were spotted vacationing in Hawaii amidst the Boy Meets World star's grueling divorce with Cheryl Burke, would confirm their relationship in January 2023.
In a statement released by Thomas' representative, Christal Jordan, toPeople magazine, Jordan revealed that the couple had been dating since November 2022, two months after Lawrence's divorce was finalized. Jordan also shared that since Thomas began dating Lawrence, the singer is the happiest she's ever been.
To date, the couple has showcased their love by uploading various dancing Instagram posts on their respective accounts and talking about their whirlwind romance in numerous interviews.
Recently, Thomas opened up about her relationship with Lawrence during a virtual interview with The Tamron Hall Show. While recalling her VH1 dating series, What Chilli Wants, which aired on the network from 2010 to 2011, the 52-year-old provided information about why she set such high dating standards in the form of a list known as "Chilli's Checklist" and the steps she took to prepare herself for love.
Chilli On Matthew and Her Dating List
During the May discussion, Thomas disclosed that she wanted to show women the importance of setting standards, and although, at the time, she received massive backlash for it, she refused to settle when it came to love.
Thomas received scrutiny for her list because many thought some of her standards were unobtainable. Thomas' requirements for an ideal partner included not wanting someone that drank, smoked, or ate pork.
In addition to all those qualities, the star also wanted someone that loved God. Because of Thomas' determination to find her perfect match, the "Creep" vocalist claimed that she "waited it out."
"On my show, I always hoped that women see the importance of having high standards. I got a lot of flack from that, but I don't care. For me, I just waited it out. I'm like, 'Lord, if it happens, wonderful. If it doesn't, I'm still okay," she said.
As the topic shifted to Lawrence, Thomas raved about her new beau and shared that the 43-year-old had met all the qualities she wanted in a partner, from his physical appearance to his love for God.
"Matthew, honestly, he's the list... He is my entire list, and so I thank god every day for this," she stated.
Even though it may have taken years and several failed relationships, it is inspiring to see that Thomas refused to settle and worked on herself along the way until she found her person.
Rozonda ‘Chilli’ Thomas’ Next Chapter & Romance With Matthew Lawrence
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