Ready for the New Moon in Sagittarius on Saturday, December 4? Ready or not, it’s coming for you. Fortunately, it promises to bring good tidings and positive blessings just in time for the holidays! This month’s New Moon features a total solar eclipse. Solar eclipses are extremely significant events that usher in new beginnings and bright new opportunities.
Inevitably, when something new begins, something old comes to an end. Whatever is outdated or that no longer holds a relevant place in your life is likely to be eclipsed out of it during this time. Whatever leaves your life now wasn’t intended to remain with you on the next stage of your journey. Let it go with grace, gratitude, and peace of mind.
The energy of an eclipse doesn’t exist only on the actual day of it. Instead look at the five days preceding and five days following the date of this eclipse for any significant messages, occurrences, or epiphanies. You may experience something as significant as moving to a new place, or something as small as a casual remark from a family member or friend that delivers a startling wake-up call to you.
As significant or as insignificant as these experiences may seem, they are likely to have a long-standing impact on the way you approach your life moving forward.
Examples of experiences that eclipses often bring are:
- News of a birth
- Marriage
- A proposal
- A new job opportunity
- The establishing of a business
- A home purchase
- A breakup
- The loss of a friend, family member, or pet
- Graduation
- Divorce
- Surgery
- Sudden epiphanies
Eclipses mark a major turning point in your life and this one is no different. The Sagittarius energy of this eclipse amplifies and expands this energy even further, providing you with the courage and boldness to go after what you need in your life at this time and the bravery and decisiveness to let go of what’s no longer relevant, despite how painful and reluctant you would normally be.
Eclipses provide the energy, drive, and reassurance for you to accomplish things you normally would avoid or be too timid to pursue. They also bring experiences that speed up decisions that the universe knows are inevitable for you - whether you choose to remain in denial about that or not!
Eclipses often bring the blatant and inescapable truth about a person, place, or situation right to your doorstep and psyche. Trust any hunches or gut feelings that you receive during this time, even if they come in the form of something as insignificant as gossip or social media posts, the messages that you receive and that resonate with you on or near an eclipse are extremely significant.
Lean into them.
The energy of the New Moon in Sagittarius is optimistic and positive. Because it features a solar eclipse, this energy will feel especially strong and hopeful. Carry or meditate with an empowering sacral chakra crystal, like Carnelian, or an intuition-strengthening crystal, like Amethyst, in order to make the most of this powerful energy.
If you are a Sagittarius or Gemini, you will be particularly affected by this eclipse. This is especially true for those born between November 30 and December 9, and between May 31 and June 9.
Here’s what you can expect for your sign amid the Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius:
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1. Aries
Expect new beginnings and gut instincts as it relates to the way you approach child-rearing, dating, flirtation, sexual and/or creative expression. You are likely to receive insights about your kids and potential lovers, Aries.
2. Taurus
Don’t be surprised if you receive revelations about your health or your job during this time, Taurus. Picking up a new lifestyle habit, exercise routine, or diet is favored by this eclipse.
3. Gemini
Are you looking to take things to the next level in your relationship, Gemini? You may find yourself falling in love. Expect to begin a significant new chapter in your relationships and with those closest to you.
4. Cancer
Your intuition will be at its height during this Moon phase, Cancer. Lean into any hunches or gut instincts that you experience during this time. Sexual experiences are likely to be deeply transformative under this influence. You may unexpectedly receive money and/or find yourself reflecting on mortality a bit more than usual. Take time with yourself and allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions that you are inevitably going to experience.
5. Leo
It’s time to expand those horizons, Leo! Lean into your natural-born courage and boldness. Whether you’re contemplating a trip to an exotic locale, registering for college courses, or exploring a discipline you don’t know much about, don’t be surprised if you decide to finally check something off of that bucket list this week!
6. Virgo
New job opportunities are highlighted for you during this period, Virgo! You may finally receive that job offer or promotion, otherwise, you’ll decide that the career you’re in actually isn’t the one for you after all. Check-in on a father figure of your life during this time.
7. Libra
Any revelation that you receive about a friend should be taken seriously now, Libra. If you’ve wanted to know who, when all is said and done, will have your back until the very end, you are likely to find out for sure now.
8. Scorpio
The time you spend alone, in contemplation or in meditation, will be especially valuable to you during this time, Scorpio. Take time to journal, introspect, or enjoy a spiritual bath. The insights you receive now, while alone, will be significant and potentially life-altering.
9. Sagittarius
You are in the spotlight during this eclipse, Sagittarius! You are likely to make a significant decision or to experience a strong epiphany ushering you in a brand new direction regarding the way you approach and experience your life. Any conservatism that may have hindered you from pursuing your truest dreams and deepest desires will be unveiled and released now.
10. Capricorn
Your focus will be on fine-tuning the elements of your life that make you feel valued and secure - or the complete opposite of that! Whatever is getting in the way of you being your best self at work or in relationships are likely to feel intolerable to you right now, Capricorn. This eclipse will give you the decisiveness and drive to go after what builds your confidence or to remove the aspects of your life that tear down your self-esteem.
11. Aquarius
Expect significant news and messages via text, social media, or from siblings and neighbors. Take whatever information you receive now seriously, Aquarius.
12. Pisces
Your family arrangement or living space is likely to be spruced up or changed altogether, Pisces. Home purchases, signing a new lease, a new roommate, or a new addition to your family are highlighted during this eclipse.
Here’s to bold moves and fresh new beginnings this December!
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Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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