On December 4th, the New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius will carry the energy of your typical New Moon - times 100. Fresh starts and new beginnings as they relate to the things that expand your consciousness are featured by this transit. Now is a great time to explore yoga, make long-distance travel plans, or check things off of your bucket list that will lead to a deeper and more fully rounded you.
The Full Moon in Gemini taking place on December 18th will bring closure to ongoing conversations. In astrology, the Full Moon is a period of reckoning, manifestation, and culmination. Gemini is a sign representing duality and communication. Expect any pending contracts and agreements to be completed at this time. On the following day, Venus will move into retrograde in Capricorn. Venus Retrograde is not a time to move forward or to begin anything new.
Instead, use this time to pause and reflect on your romantic relationships, beauty regimens that you may want to update in the near future, and the way you approach money! If you send or receive a “hey big head” text at this time don’t be surprised. You are likely to revisit - or to be revisited by ghosts of relationships past! Chiron turns direct for the first time since mid-July on December 19th. Any issues that you’ve been in denial about or sweeping under the rug will have to be dealt with now, no matter how painful or inconvenient.
On December 21st, the Sun enters Capricorn, shining a light on the way we collectively approach work, business, tradition, structure, and rules. On December 24th, Saturn in Aquarius forms its third and final square to Uranus in Taurus. Look back at what occurred in your life around the time of the first two squares that took place on February 17th and June 14th. They will clue you in to what you can expect during this month’s square.
Collectively, the events that this transit will create tension in our desire for freedom and our need for stability.
Jupiter will enter Pisces on the 28th, closing out 2021. This phase will usher us into an era that highlights the need for intuition, introspection, philanthropy, selflessness, sensitivity, and deep spirituality.
Here’s what you can expect for your zodiac sign in December.
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleWelcome to a better and bolder you this month, Aries! The New Moon Total Solar Eclipse taking place on December 4th will highlight your 9th house of expansion, luck, and higher consciousness. Expect new beginnings as it relates to anything that will broaden your horizons intellectually and physically. You may finally begin planning that dream getaway, enroll in college courses, or begin exploring a new discipline like psychology or philosophy. The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th will bring closure to any ongoing negotiations or discussions that you may have been experiencing since mid-June. You may receive or upgrade a tech item or receive insights and closure as it relates to a matter dealing with your siblings or neighbors.
Chiron heads direct in your sign on the 19th for the first time since July. Unhealed wounds as it relates to how you look or are perceived by others may be triggered in the coming weeks. Acknowledge your insecurities now so that they can be released and healed permanently. Venus heads backward in Capricorn on the 19th of this month where it will remain until late January. During this time, any career progress that you’ve made since early November may begin to stall. Now is an excellent time to focus on your work, but don’t expect to receive accolades for your actions until Venus retrograde ends on January 29th.
On the 24th, Saturn in your 11th house of friendships will form a tense aspect with Uranus in your 2nd house of value and self-worth. Do you feel like a friend has been taking you for granted? Have you outgrown your friend group and feel that you no longer share the same interests or values? Have your relationships with your work colleagues been a little tense this year? Look back at the events that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year. They will clue you into what you can expect during this time.
Finally, on the 28th of the month, Jupiter enters your 12th house where it will remain for much of 2022. This marks the beginning of what will be an incredibly introspective 12 months for you. Take this time to reflect, and introspect. Begin a meditation, yoga, reiki or spiritual bath regimen that will serve you well for the remainder of this year into next year. Get ready for a deeper, more intuitive you, Aries!
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThings are about to get pretty intense for you, Taurus! The New Moon Total Solar Eclipse taking place on the 4th of this month will illuminate your 8th house. Look out for new beginnings as it relates to sex, death, investments, and other people’s money. This month’s Full Moon takes place in Gemini on December 18th. Any matters relating to the things that you value, your sense of self-worth, and what makes you feel safe and secure, financially and otherwise, will reach a boiling point in order to be permanently resolved.
Chiron heads out of retrograde motion on the 19th, forcing you to address any deep subconscious wounds and unhealed trauma that you may have been negatively impacting your life and your relationships. This is an excellent time to engage in shadow work. Acknowledge and address the sides of yourself and any negative past experiences that you usually try to deny. Venus heads backward on the 19th in your 9th house. You are likely to find that new habits you’ve embarked on early last month will temporarily come to halt. Perhaps the pandemic is getting in the way of your upcoming college courses or travel plans.
Venus retrograde is not a time to embark on anything new. Instead, take a moment to reflect on when and how you’d like to go about expanding your physical and mental horizons.
On the 21st, the Sun enters Capricorn, lighting up the area ruling luck and expansion in your chart. Don’t shy away from pondering on any bold moves at the end of this month, Taurus, but don’t make them until after January 29th, otherwise, you are likely to experience inconvenient setbacks! Saturn will square Uranus for the last time this year on the 24th. Expect to experience tension in the way you present yourself publicly and your career reputation. Make your IG private, especially if you are interviewing. Now is not the time to assert your individuality at work. Be extra careful of keeping your social personality separate from your work persona now.
If you feel like your career path doesn’t really align with who you are as an individual, issues will be brought to the forefront for you to reflect and ponder on now. Look back to the events that took place during the Saturn-Uranus squares in February and June of this year for a sense of what you can expect during this time. You’re going to receive a preview of what will be a bustling year for you socially, Taurus! Expect your social connections and friendships to grow beginning on the 28th of this month into the majority of 2022. Cheers to a popular new you, Taurus!
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleAre you looking to get booed up, Gemini? Love is likely to find you around the 4th of this month when the New Moon Total Solar Eclipse lights up the area in your chart dealing with long-term partners and relationships. Get ready to take romance to the next level! The Full Moon takes place in your sign on the 18th. Have you been contemplating a new look, persona, or how you choose to present yourself to the public? This is likely to be solidified now. Maybe you have finally decided to debut a new look or to refine your social media presence in some way. If so, the stars are on your side at this time.
Chiron heads direct on the 19th in your house of friendships. Any sensitive issues related to your social circle may crop up now. No matter how uncomfortable or painful, they will be brought to light in the coming weeks in order to be resolved. Venus goes retrograde on the 19th in your house of sex, death, and other people’s money. Don’t embark on any new investments now if you can help it, Gemini! Your sex life may take a backseat to more pressing issues between now and January 29th.
Take this time to properly vet any and all prospective sex partners so that you don’t experience any regrets later! Expect old lovers to come out of the woodwork now as well - if they do, enjoy it while it lasts. They are likely to head back out of the picture once Venus heads direct again. On the 21st, the Sun will light up this area of your chart as well, shuffling up any feelings of deep sexual desire. Get ready for the intensity to be dialed up, Gemini! December 24th ushers in the third and final Saturn-Uranus square, creating tension in your urge to make bold moves, and your desire to self-isolate and introspect.
Look to the events during the first two Saturn-Uranus squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year for clues as to what you can expect at the end of this month. On a positive note, Jupiter is going to bless you with career luck beginning on the 28th and into much of 2022. Expect bigger and better opportunities when it comes to your job. Promotions or a new, higher-paying job are in the cards for you over the next 12 months, Gemini!
Cancer
CancerLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to embark on a new health journey, Cancer! The New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius offers the perfect opportunity to start a fresh new diet or exercise regimen. The Full Moon on the 18th will illuminate your house of subconscious and hidden feelings. Trust your intuition and gut instincts now. Any hunches or revelations you experience at this time are likely to have deeper significance than you may initially realize.
Chiron goes direct on the 19th in the area of your chart ruling your career. Job insecurities are likely to crop up now and in the coming weeks. Venus goes retrograde on the same day which may temporarily stall any relationship progress as well. If so, don’t take it to heart. If you or your boo have seemed a bit distracted lately, give it space. Things will return to normal and will receive an extra boost to boot when Venus heads direct on January 29th.
The Sun will light up this same house two days later indicating that you will spend a lot of mental energy on your relationship. Even if you are forced to be temporarily apart or to hold off on taking things to the next level, your relationship will remain on your mind. But worry not! You will get creative in remaining connected. Single? Take this time to scratch up your Tinder profile. How can you make yourself a more desirable partner? Reflect on that during this period.
Saturn will form a tense aspect with Uranus for the third and final time this year, creating friction between your lover and a friend. Or perhaps there will be an issue with yourself and your friend’s lover. Does a friend owe you money? You may finally decide it’s time for them to come up out of those pockets! Whatever pops up now is the result of a deeper, ongoing issue that will need to be resolved at this time.
Jupiter enters your 9th house of expansion, giving you a double whammy of luck, boldness, and blessings as you expand your horizons and gain newfound courage to try bigger and better experiences than what you’ve been used to.
This is a sneak peek into what will be quite an adventurous 2022 for you, Cancer! Whether you decide to travel more, gain new experiences, or expand your knowledge in some way, you are likely to take a less conservative approach to life than you have previously. Get ready for a bold new you!
Leo
LeoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleAll work and no play make Leo a dull girl! This month will show you that more than ever. December 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will illuminate your house of dating, soulmates, sex, creativity, and fun. The three days leading up to and proceeding this New Moon is the perfect time to swipe right on Tinder and meet up with a new cutie - taking into account any and all safety precautions of course! Not on the market? Expect a boost in creativity, your artistry, or to give a new sex toy a fun whirl! Now’s the time to express yourself in a fun and authentic way, you’re certainly going to feel the urge and spark to!
The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th brings a culmination or epiphany to an issue related to a friend. Perhaps you find a solution to a problem your friend has been dealing with, or you decide to have a heart-to-heart in order to finally address the elephant in the room of a matter that has been affecting your friendship. Chiron heads direct for the first time since July on the 19th. Any wounds that you’ve experienced relating to religious upbringing and moral conditioning will be brought to a head now.
Venus goes retrograde the same day, slowing down the progress you’ve made on new health habits. Has your weight loss hit a plateau since early last month? Don’t lose hope. Keep at it. Progress will more than likely resume when Venus turns direct on the 29th of next month. The Sun will light up this same area of your chart two days later, giving you the extra boost to patiently deal with any health setbacks. December 24th brings the third and final Saturn-Uranus square, creating tension between your career and your long-term partner. Has work been getting in the way of time spent with your partner? Are you contemplating whether to relocate, with or without your boo?
Whatever issues came to a head during the first two squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year are likely to come up again for resolution and conclusion. On December 28th, Jupiter will begin its journey to expand your 8th house of sex, transformation, death, and other people’s money. Expect to reflect on matters relating to investments, inheritance, new lovers, and mortality beginning now and into much of next year. Sex that you experience over the next several months is likely to be intense and transformative. Get ready for a sexy new you this year and beyond, Leo!
Virgo
VirgoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYour foundation and what you call home are about to shift, Virgo! Make room for new beginnings on the 4th as it relates to your family or living arrangement when the New Moon Total Solar Eclipse lights up that area in your chart. The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th will bring career matters to a culmination. Whether you finally receive well-deserved recognition, decide to make a career change, or decide that you actually aren’t happy with your career, you are likely to experience a sudden revelation when it comes to this area of your life.
The following day, Chiron heads direct in your house of sex, other people’s money, death, and investments. Any sensitive issues relating to the death of a loved one, your own mortality, the way you engage in sex, or anything else is likely to be exacerbated. This will feel uncomfortable and you will feel triggered, but these issues need to be addressed so that you can finally heal and move on from them.
Allow yourself to experience this pain so that you can release it and so that it doesn’t manifest in heartbreak, emotional turmoil, or ill health down the line. This is the crux of what shadow work is all about. Engage in it now.
Venus heads retrograde in your house of fun, sex, dating, creativity. You may notice a bit of a slow down in these areas of your life in comparison to the boost you received early last month up until now. Whatever setbacks you experience will resolve themselves by the time Venus turns direct on January 29th. Now is a time to study, reflect on and read up on all of the ways you’d like to enhance your creative expression. December 24th brings the third and final Saturn-Uranus square of the year, creating tension between your job and your daily habits. Are you feeling boxed in at work? Do you feel like your daily responsibilities are preventing you from living life to the fullest? Are you living to work instead of working to live?
This frustration is likely to come to a head for you now and you may find that you are not able to tolerate feeling so restricted by your job or lifestyle any longer. Look back to the events of the first two Saturn-Uranus squares (in mid-February and mid-June) for a sense of what’s to come! Get ready for a period of new love, partnerships, and serious relationships, Virgo! Jupiter enters your 7th house on December 28th and will bring relationship blessings now into much of next year. If you’ve been looking to take intimacy to the next level, now’s your chance, Virgo!
Libra
LibraLaci Jordan for xoNecoleDecember 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will light up your 3rd house of siblings, communication, technology, and short-distance travel. Your inclination to put the past in the past and to let bygones be bygones regarding any lingering sibling issues is likely. Expect to wrap up negotiations, contracts, or legal agreements now. On a fun note, you may also get a new gadget or decide to spruce up your social media presence around this time. Chiron heads direct on the 19th in your house of long-term relationships.
You may encounter a painful but healing discussion with your partner in the coming days and weeks. Whatever relationship issues you have been trying to sweep under the rug will come to the forefront. Address them now, as uncomfortable as it will be so that you can finally release and heal from them. Venus also heads retrograde from the 19th until January 29th. Now is not the ideal time to move, purchase a new home or make any major decisions as it relates to your living or family arrangements. Whatever new decisions you make now will experience delays and setbacks.
Instead, take this time to deeply reflect on any upcoming decisions that need to be made relating to your family and home so that you can hit the ground running and move forward when Venus heads direct late next month. Although you won’t necessarily be able to move forward on any plans, family, and home will be on the forefront of your mind as Sun enters this area of your chart on the 21st to remain until late January. You will be spending a lot of time and energy on looking for a new place, house hunting, family planning, deciding to expand your family, moving in with your boo, or splitting up altogether.
Saturn and Uranus form its third and final square, creating tension in the way you approach sex and relationships. Are you experiencing an unfulfilling sex life? You may decide that something needs to finally be done about it. Do you feel as if you have to suppress your individuality and your creative expression? Are you looking for opportunities to channel your artistry into your business or side hustle? The relationship between your sexual or creative expression and the way you use it to earn money will transform. Look back to the events of the first two Saturn-Uranus squares in mid-February and mid-June of this year for a hint of what’s to come.
Jupiter enters Pisces on the 28th to remain there for much of 2022, expanding the area in your chart relating to work and health habits. Any new diets, workout regimens, or health habits that you engage in now will positively affect your work and your overall health in a significant way. Here’s to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled you, Libra!
Scorpio
ScorpioLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to dial up the fun and intensity, Scorpio! The December 4th New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius promises fresh new beginnings in financial opportunities and in the things that boost your self-esteem and make you feel valued and secure. The Full Moon in Gemini taking place on the 18th will bring a culmination point to your thoughts on mortality and the way you approach sex, other people’s money, and transformative experiences.
Chiron heads direct in Aries the following day. Any wounds or unresolved issues relating to your coworkers or your approach to eating, working out, or daily responsibilities will need to be addressed now. For example, if going to the gym has been a sore spot for you, or if you have an unhealthy relationship with food, you will be faced with and forced to address and reckon with these issues now, as uncomfortable as they may feel.
Venus heads retrograde on the same day, stalling any progress made in contracts, negotiations, or communication. Have you been investing in your social media presence? You may notice that your social media following growth is starting to slow down. Sun enters this house in two days further intensifying your focus on these matters. Take this time to plan out and revise how you approach these matters instead of embarking on anything new. Strengthen what you’ve already started early last month. Keep at it. Momentum will build back up when Venus goes direct on the 29th of next month.
On the 24th, Saturn forms a tense angle to Uranus, creating friction between your family and your partner. Look back to the events of mid-February and mid-June for a preview of what to expect during this time. When Jupiter enters your 5th house of dating, recreational sex, creative expression, and fun on the 28th, expect a flirtier new you that will carry you into much of 2022. Spruce up that Tinder profile now Scorpio, you’re in for a fun and fulfilling ride starting now and into the majority of next year!
Sagittarius
SagittariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleOn December 4th, a New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will light up your personality, persona and public image. This is an ideal time to debut a new look! The Full Moon in Gemini on December 18th will bring a relationship matter to a culmination. Whether you decide to take things to the next level with your boo or to split up altogether, the status of your relationship is likely to shift for better or for worse. Childhood wounds are highlighted the following day, on the 19th. Did you deal with trauma growing up that hasn’t been properly resolved? Expect to pay more attention to these matters in the coming weeks.
Seek counseling, begin journaling, or confide in a trusted person so that you can finally begin to heal any childhood experiences that are standing in the way of a healthy view of yourself or your healthy relationships and self-expression. On the same day, Venus heads backward in your 2nd house of finances, value, and self-esteem. Any progress you made in these areas since Venus first entered this area of your chart on November 5th is likely to slow down or stall for a bit.
Not all hope is lost Sagittarius! The Sun will enter this same area of your chart on the 21st. You will spend extra time and energy fine-tuning your finances and your relationships with the things that you value and that make you feel good about yourself. All the work that you do now and all the time spent here will not be in vain. You will enjoy the fruits of your labor in a month’s time when Venus heads direct again.
Saturn and Uranus will form its third and final square for the year on the 24th. Be mindful of your email, virtual and in-person communications with coworkers. You may not come across in the way that you intend and it can create more problems than it’s worth. Slow down before hitting send on that email and be extra tactful in the way you work through any workplace issues. Look back to the Saturn-Uranus squares of mid-February and mid-June for a hint at what’s to come so that you can properly handle it.
Capricorn
CapricornLaci Jordan for xoNecoleDecember 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will illuminate your 12th house of intuition and introspection. Use this time to meditate, reflect, journal, or simply spend time in solitude. Whatever insights, hunches, or gut feelings you receive during this time will be spot on. Tune in. The Full moon in Gemini on December 18th will find you deciding to finally move full steam ahead on that new diet or workout regimen that you’ve been considering. When Chiron heads direct the following day, wounds relating to your family and home will be brought up now in order to be addressed and resolved for good. As uncomfortable or painful as this experience may be, it’s necessary in order for you to pave the way for a healthier new beginning.
The same day, on the 19th, Venus will go retrograde on your sign. Have you been contemplating a new look, plastic surgery, getting botox or fillers, or new hair color? You’re going to want to hold off on those until Venus heads direct again on the 29th of next month. Otherwise, things may not go according to your vision and you are likely to experience serious regrets and setbacks! Ready for the spotlight? The Sun enters your sign on the 21st.
Although you won’t be able to move forward on making any new moves in the way that you appear or present yourself to others, you can still expect the spotlight to be on you in some form or fashion until late next month. Shine on Capricorn - just don’t do anything new for now! Saturn and Uranus will form their third and final square on the 24th of December, replicating themes experienced during the first two squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year.
How has your sex life (or lack thereof) been affecting your self-esteem? Do you feel like you are able to express who you are sexually and otherwise? Does your dating life feel stable? These are all matters you are going to be faced with during this time. Jupiter enters your 3rd house of communication on the 28th to remain there for the majority of next year. Get ready for your writing, social media presence, public speaking, and general communication opportunities to begin ramping up this year, Cap!
Aquarius
AquariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to get more social, Aquarius! December 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius will breathe life into your friendships. The Full Moon on December 18th will illuminate your 5th house. Expect an epiphany regarding the way you approach dating, children, sex, recreation, and creative expression. Any insecurities relating to the way you communicate with others and your sibling relationships will come to a head for you when Chiron heads direct on the 19th.
When the Sun enters your 12th house of subconscious, reflection, and intuition two days later on the 21st, expect that you will want to spend more time alone, introspecting on your past and upcoming life decisions. Get in tune with yourself and your emotions by engaging in a solo yoga practice, meditation, or a spiritual bath regimen.
Saturn will form a tense angle to Uranus on the 24th, creating friction between yourself and your family. They may take issue with the way that you present yourself to the public, or you are likely to find yourself at odds with your family due to a strongly held belief. These issues will echo any incidents faced during the first two Saturn-Uranus squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June.
On a positive note, expect a boost in your finances and self-esteem when Jupiter enters your 2nd house of value and self-worth on the 28th to remain for much of next year. 2022 will be prime time for you to go after that bag, Aquarius!
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to make boss moves, Pisces! December 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will light up the area of your chart that rules your career. Don’t be surprised if a new job opportunity, a promotion, or new responsibilities and roles crop up at work now! The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th will bring home and family matters to a head now for closure and resolution. When Chiron heads direct in your 2nd house on the 19th, wounds relating to your self-esteem will be brought to light so that you can come to terms with and finally heal them.
As uncomfortable as this will be, it will pave the way for a better, more confident, and self-assured you. Venus heads retrograde on the 19th and will remain that way until the 29th of next month. You are likely to experience challenges and setbacks in being able to physically spend time with your friends. Don’t worry! You’ll find creative ways to remain connected. Whether it’s through Zoom calls or social media status updates, you can rest assured that your circle will remain tight until it begins to grow again after Venus heads direct again in late January.
December 24th brings a tense square between Saturn and Uranus that will bring you strong gut feelings and spiritual downloads. Pay attention to any messages you receive on social media or via email at this time, they will clue you into information you may need to know at this time. On a positive note, Jupiter enters your sign at the end of the month - get ready to shine, Pisces! Jupiter is going to bestow you with blessings and luck. You will be viewed in an extremely positive light beginning now and for the majority of next year.
Expect to make excellent impressions with higher-ups at work. Engagement, marriage, a higher title, and a better living arrangement may also be in the cards for you. Please note that Jupiter expands, if you don’t want to gain weight, keep those celebratory treats to a minimum and plan to spend a lot more time in the gym this year! Either way, expect a major glow-up in 2022, Pisces!
Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
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'It's Not All In Your Head': How Four Black Women Finally Got The Answers They Needed About Fibroids
If someone had told me I’d be working toward my third fibroid surgery in less than six years, I would have had a hard time believing them. First, because obviously, no one wants to ever hear the word "surgery" (unless it’s cosmetic surgery you’re opting for). But the more significant reason is I’d never heard any of the women in my life talk about fibroids, so the idea of having all of the complex issues because of them, on top of surgeries, was truly a foreign concept.
After my doctor told me I’d need a second surgery in March of 2023—a hysteroscopic myomectomy—after bleeding every day for over six months, I was over it. Not just over the symptoms. But I was done feeling siloed on an island dealing with the pain, feeling tired all the time, and the heaviness of what felt like endless trips to the doctor for ultrasounds, blood transfusions, blood count checks, MRIs, etc.
I would try to explain what I was feeling, and my pain was written off because I guess period pain is just supposed to be normal. I’m here to tell you it is not. And because we’ve been conditioned to just deal, that’s the way things should stay. Yeah, no.
What is a hysteroscopic myomectomy? Hysteroscopic myomectomy is the most minimally invasive procedure to treat fibroids. A surgeon removes fibroids by inserting a hysteroscope into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix.
So, I wrote and directed an animated short film to bring educational and entertainment value to helping the world learn about fibroids. With $25,000 of my own money, I went forth and made the film titled Super High: A Period Piece. Now, it’s making its rounds on the festival circuit, even gaining entry into two Oscar-qualifying festivals: the Chicago International Film Festival and the New Orleans Film Festival. We even won Best Narrative Short at the Morehouse Human Rights Film Festival in Atlanta.
As I was venturing onto the festival circuit, my editor asked me to write a piece highlighting the experiences of Black women with fibroids. Initially, I planned to highlight up to 15 stories. However, as I started working on this story, I thought hearing the experiences more in-depth would be equally impactful. So, we chatted with four women about their fibroid journeys.
The one thing we all had in common, which made me sad but also made me feel seen, was that none of us knew much about them beforehand. However, our willingness to openly share our stories will hopefully change that for many women now and beyond.
Keep reading for four women’s stories about their journey with fibroids.
Rosco Spears, artist and creative director
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Before my journey with fibroids, I didn't know much about them. I'd never heard of fibroids until women around me started getting diagnosed. I was dealing with heavy, painful periods long before I was privy to any of these diagnoses.
Shortly before I was officially diagnosed with having fibroids (2012), I learned that my sister and other women in my family also had fibroids. As I've grown older, I've learned that my three sisters, many cousins, aunts, etc, have also had fibroids. It's simply an issue that was never discussed.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I found out that I had fibroids while living in NYC. I was fed up with the pain and discomfort from my period, so I shopped around until I got an answer that I thought made sense. I met a wonderful woman doctor who finally diagnosed me, and she offered me several options for easing the discomfort. During this time, I would often bleed between periods.
In 2013, one of my "in-between" moments was more than the spotting that I was used to, so I took myself to the emergency [room]. I learned that my hemoglobin [levels] were at seven, and the doctors wouldn't let me leave the hospital without getting a blood transfusion. They also highly recommended that I get surgery to remove the fibroids. Once I officially got the diagnosis, it was scary, but it also felt amazing to know that I could begin planning a path forward.
What are hemoglobin levels? To ensure adequate tissue oxygenation—a very important complex dance between the lungs, blood, and cardiovascular system—a sufficient hemoglobin level has to be maintained. The normal Hb level for women is 12 to 16 g/dl. Low hemoglobin levels mean your body isn’t getting enough oxygen, which is why you feel very tired and weak.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I've had two abdominal myomectomies, one in 2013 (16 fibroids were removed) and another in 2020 (51 fibroids were removed). I was nervous about the idea of being cut open during the myomectomy, but I didn't think that the outcome could be any worse than the pain that I was already dealing with. Both surgeries went just as planned (aside from the 2nd surgery being rescheduled due to COVID-19), and my recovery from both was amazing.
In 2013, I was a bit unhinged. I went location scouting for a photo shoot for The Lip Bar three days after I got home from the hospital. My family was very upset, but I honestly felt fine. I had some abdominal pain, but within two weeks, I was back in the studio on my feet all day. After my second surgery, the plan was to try and have a child shortly after recovery. I took my time with healing and did things according to the book.
What is a myomectomy? A myomectomy is surgery to remove uterine fibroids. There are several types of myomectomies, but the procedure you and your doctor decide is right for you will depend on factors like location, number, and size of your fibroids.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
I felt/feel amazing post-treatment! For about 2-3 years after both surgeries, my periods were much lighter, and the pain was light [and] much more bearable than it was with the fibroids. My quality of life is much different post-surgery.
There have been years [when] I simply did not have any energy while I was on my period. The most I could do was get up to go to the bathroom and get right back in bed. Or I'd have to carry a change of clothes with me when traveling to work because I couldn't afford to take off during my period, but I knew that at some point, I would bleed through everything. So, in that regard, life is beautiful. I'm no longer passing out, nor do I feel the need to bring an extra set of pants along on the ride.
While my quality of life has improved tremendously, I often joke and say that I have PTSD from having bad periods. What I mean is that I still check my pants often when I'm on my period. And I still get anxiety if I'm in public and I'm on day two or three of my period because who knows if it is just a little blood that I feel coming down or it's a huge clot that's going to ruin my pants. And I still know better than to try and wash my hair on my heavy days because there isn't enough energy to do both.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
You got this, sis! It's a difficult journey, but please seek advice from other women on the journey. If one doctor is not giving you sufficient information, find a new doctor. Make sure you're exploring all of the options for fibroid removal/shrinking treatments [because] it is not one size fits all. And take your iron supplements, boo.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
Oh God, if I could pay women to share their fibroid stories, I would. It's imperative that we talk with one another about our experiences in health. I shared my fibroid story years ago because I was so lost when I was on my journey. One of my sisters had the surgery before I did, but other than her, I didn't have anyone to talk to about fibroids.
I felt very alone, isolated, and somewhat embarrassed because it felt like this wasn't happening to anyone else around me. It makes a world of difference when you can talk with someone about an issue they are also facing. We will learn a lot more by discussing shared experiences—much of which you cannot learn from talking to your doctor or Google.
La-Anna Douglas, women’s advocate and motivational speaker
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Being someone who started my period at the age of 10, I was in the dark when it pertained to fibroids and other reproductive health issues. I had never heard of fibroids, and I didn’t know that the pain I was experiencing, along with fertility delays, was because of the fibroids sitting in between my two uteruses. The pelvic pain, excruciating periods, fatigue, and protruding belly to someone else would have been a dead giveaway. But I had no idea what was going on with my body. I also did not know of anyone in my family dealing with fibroids.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I was diagnosed with fibroids by a reproductive endocrinologist [and] was finally properly diagnosed after suffering for 16 years. I finally found a doctor willing to listen to my concerns and, most of all, believed that I wasn’t making it up. She scheduled me for a thorough examination, and I was soon scheduled for laparoscopic surgery. I was diagnosed with three fibroids, endometriosis, and a uterus didelphys (two uteruses and two cervixes).
Uterus didelphys is a rare congenital condition where you're born with two uteruses. It's commonly called a double uterus.
Again, I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. I would have cramps for 3-4 days on my left side of my belly and then cramps for 3-4 days on my right. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus. When I heard all of the different diagnoses, I was angry, overwhelmed, scared, and confused. But the worst thing is that I was unprepared mentally and emotionally for the diagnosis and the journey ahead.
"I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus."
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I was told not to worry about removing the fibroids surgically after being diagnosed in my 20s back in 2008. But in 2020, during the pandemic, my pain started to escalate again. So, I was scheduled for an ultrasound, an MRI, and then a double-balloon procedure. I was told that my fibroids had grown and they were contributing to the secondary infertility I was experiencing. My doctor gave me two options. Would I rather have a hysterectomy?
I had already gone through 30 years of horrible periods, eight years of infertility [and] finally having a miracle baby in 2013 by God’s grace, and I had already gone through multiple procedures. Or I could do the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy, where they would remove the fibroids and open my two cervixes by also doing a hysteroscopy. At first, [I] wanted to do a hysterectomy, but [after] talking to my family and praying about it, I decided on having the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy. I was a little nervous but knew I was in good hands.
What is a laparoscopic myomectomy? A laparoscopic myomectomy is a minimally invasive procedure to remove uterine fibroids. A surgeon makes four tiny incisions in your abdomen and then uses a laparoscope, which is a special instrument that contains a light and video camera, to operate through the incisions.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
Post-treatment, I felt relieved and grateful. The healing journey was okay. I had a lot of support from my family, especially my husband. After the healing, [I am] loving on my body because the many scars on my belly are my beauty marks. I started to get more confident in who I was. The doctor who did the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy believed that I would get pregnant again.
Well, six months after the surgery, I became pregnant with our second miracle baby girl after eight years of secondary infertility at the age of 40. And to think, [had] I decided on the hysterectomy, she would not be here. Our surprise baby has brought so much happiness to our family.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
For anyone just beginning their fibroid journey, my advice would be to advocate for yourself no matter what the diagnosis may be. Your voice matters, and you control your narrative. If the doctor is not listening to you or your concerns, you have every right to seek a second, third, fourth, or as many opinions as you wish until you are heard and properly cared for. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
[And,] to always love on yourself through the journey with fibroids and anything else you may be going through. YOU ARE ENOUGH. The physical scars and the invisible scars are your beauty marks. And share with others how you are feeling and what you are going through. Please do not suffer in silence!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
It is so important that we share our journey with fibroids because there is power in supportive stories. We all must realize that we are not alone. There are so many of us who have similar situations going on or may be feeling the same feelings you may be feeling.
Sharing your story also helps to heal those hurts that happen on the road to diagnosis. Healing taps into the strength that has been lying dormant inside of us, and when that strength is ignited, there is nothing that can stop you from advocating for yourself and others who begin to share their stories with you.
Dawn Heels, award-winning fibroid advocate and campaigner
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
I knew absolutely nothing about fibroids apart from the fact that my mum had one (she found out when she was pregnant with me), but even with this information, she didn't know anything about them.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I had always suffered [from] extremely heavy, painful periods. I thought [this] was normal, [so] I didn't link it to the fact that something could be wrong with me. I first discovered I had fibroids after experiencing constant pain in the left-hand side of my abdomen in 2016. During an ultrasound scan, I was told I had 2 x 4 cm fibroids by the sonographer.
Two types of ultrasound scan can be used to help diagnose fibroids: an abdominal ultrasound scan – where the ultrasound probe is moved over the outside of your tummy (abdomen) a transvaginal ultrasound scan – where a small ultrasound probe is inserted into your vagina.
I hadn’t a clue what they were, and when I went back to see my doctor, he told me that I had nothing to worry about because fibroids were common, normal, and I should deal with any pain with a hot water bottle and ibuprofen. And because he told me I had nothing to worry about, at that moment, I didn’t worry.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
Over the next six years, my pain and suffering got worse. I displayed horrendous fibroid symptoms: bum cheek pain, leg pain, painful, heavy, clotty periods, lower back pain, extreme pain, abdominal/pelvic pain, early pregnancy symptoms, tiredness, ‘preggo belly,’ painful sex, long periods and was infertile. I finally saw a consultant who changed my life, as he was the first person to listen to me and put a plan in place.
"He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy."
He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy. I cried so many tears because I thought if I was to ever have an operation that resembled the C-section, I would be giving birth to a baby, not tumors! The operation was a success, and he removed 16 fibroids and left 2 in to give me a chance at conceiving. I lost a lot of blood and had an emergency blood transfusion one week later.
After eight weeks of healing, I started to feel much better.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
The open myomectomy gave me my life back—a good quality of life. I wasn’t in pain anymore. My periods were shorter and significantly lighter, and best of all, I fell pregnant six months after surgery!
What is an open myomectomy? An abdominal, or open, myomectomy removes fibroids through an incision in the abdomen, typically on the bikini line. The recovery time generally lasts up to six weeks.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
Educate yourself on the condition so you can guide the conversation and ask relevant questions when going into your consultations. Advocate for yourself, too! Too many of us will just agree to all sorts of nonsense just because the medical professional says so! You are the expert over your own body, so speak up!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I became an ‘accidental’ advocate because I shared my story. My inbox was inundated with messages from other ladies who had suffered or were currently suffering. That’s how powerful a share is.
Camille Austin, model and content creator
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them? For example, did you know what symptoms to look out for?
I did not know much, if not anything at all. So, I did not know what symptoms to look out for.
Did you know if anyone in your family had ever dealt with them?
Yes, my mother, but she was already going through menopause, so our symptoms did not seem comparable.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
[I went] to my primary care physician, who is also a WOC. She performed a pelvic exam, and when I told her about all of my symptoms, she thought it was fibroids. It took a while and [was] frankly [an] annoying process to finally get to an MRI where they found three fibroids, one the size of 15cm.
And how did you feel once you got the official diagnosis?
I felt relieved and scared—scared about what this meant about my fertility. [But,] relieved that I had answers and I was going to get better.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I had to have surgery due to the size [of my fibroid.] I had an open and laparoscopic procedure done and was on the table for eight hours. I did not initially trust my surgeon as she wanted to jump straight into a hysterectomy. Common practice says that the only way to stop them from ever coming back is through a hysterectomy, which I find to be a bit extreme. To me, it sounds like it's just under-researched, and not enough efforts are being made because this largely impacts WOC, but I digress.
"My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened."
My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened. I found out I'm allergic to Dilaudid (a common pain med). I broke out and had a third-degree chemical burn around my stomach from the adhesive, and my skin completely broke out. There was not a doctor available to give me even so much as a Benadryl to ease the discomfort. Nurses can't prescribe meds.
It wasn't until I threatened to leave the hospital—I got up and packed my bags—that I received a pink Benadryl pill after waiting for about 6 hours. About a week after I got home, I broke into a fever and was septic. I was rushed back to the hospital and had to spend an additional four days. In short, the healing process did not go according to plan.
After your difficult hospital experience and healing journey, how did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
After treatment, I felt so much better after everything was said and done. I would still get the surgery if I had to do it again. When I eventually healed, my periods were shorter. I could fit my clothes again, and I just had more energy to do things since I was not as anemic.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
[First,] push for that MRI sooner than later. If you catch them when they are small, you can look into non-invasive ways to get rid of them.
Make sure your doctor has a hospital list, and ask who will be in charge of taking care of you when your doctor is not around.
What does an MRI mean for fibroids? An MRI uses a magnetic field and radio waves to create computerized, 3D images of the uterus. These images can help your doctor decide which treatment is best for you and rule out other issues like adenomyosis and endometriosis.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I think it's important because we can all learn from each other, and this is not just becoming a "woman over 30" problem. According to my doctors, I was far too young, and due to my age, this was something that went unnoticed. Frankly, it should not have been a far stretch because I have fibroids in my breast tissue as well, but somehow, no correlation has been made.
So we have to press the issue, so hopefully, we can look into why this is happening to so many women and not allow a hysterectomy to be the first response.
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From Shrinking To Shining: Shelah Marie's Journey To Becoming Unapologetically ‘Unruly’
A significant part of becoming a woman is developing a deep understanding of who we truly are.
However, societal expectations to be kind, meek, and palatable often stifle our boldness before it fully emerges. For author, content creator, and women’s wellness influencer Shelah Marie, growing up as the only Black person in her household and often feeling pressured to shrink herself ultimately motivated her to embrace her most authentic, confident, and "unruly" self—the version she proudly embodies today.
Her upcoming book, Unruly: A Guide to Reclaiming Your True Self, serves as a guide for women on the journey of embracing their complexities and contradictions through radial forgiveness. A process that Shelah came to understand at an early age. “I had a crash course in identity politics growing up,” she tells xoNecole. After her parents divorced, her mother, who’s white and Cuban, remarried a white man, and they had a daughter together. This resulted in Shelah being raised in a predominately white household, prompting questions about her own identity.
“What I was starting to understand, in its infancy, were identity politics and how we perform race, gender, and ultimately perform who we are,” she says. “The good news is that I could pull from my acting background; the best actors don't perform for an audience, they perform authentically in front of an audience.” With this insight, Shelah combined her self-development journey with her creative path, showing other women the power of reclaiming their lost parts to unlock their main character energy.
Credit: Greg Castel
The concept of "main character energy" has become a popular colloquium, as it invites us to reflect on how we show up in our own lives. It’s the idea of taking charge of your own narrative, stepping into the spotlight, and living with authenticity and confidence as if you’re the protagonist of your story. For Shelah, coming into this energy came from the realization that she had been playing the role of a side character in her own life.
“A lot of women are socialized to be neat, to fit into a box, to be pleasant, to be polite, and ultimately, to think about others before we think about ourselves and how we affect everyone else,” she shares. “But sometimes that's at the expense of us being true to ourselves.”
This can manifest as internalized pressure to be "good"—to stay quiet, and avoid being too loud, too disruptive, or too opinionated. But this tendency to shrink ourselves for the comfort of others can mean that we don’t live fully or authentically, making the shift into main character energy tantamount to our growth.
But how do you tap into your main character energy? While Shelah shares that the process doesn’t happen overnight, committing to the journey of getting to know yourself on a deeper level and “becoming friends with yourself,” is the first step.
“Everybody you've ever been lives within you,” she explains. “Every time you have a major transition, you birth a new version of yourself that is able to exist in that transition, but those other versions don't disappear. They still stay in you.”
Shelah Marie 'Unruly'
"Everybody you've ever been lives within you. Every time you have a major transition, you birth a new version of yourself that is able to exist in that transition, but those other versions don't disappear."
When we begin to honor the complex parts of ourselves, observe them without judgment, and not view them as something “negative,” we can start to integrate those aspects into our lives more authentically.
“When I know these things, then I can direct them like a director,” she continues. “I can call the show and tell them to come on stage or exit. I can move them like an ensemble within myself.”
She adds, “It's not that I disown parts of myself, judge them, or think that they're bad and make them go away. No, it's just that we can work together for my highest good, as opposed to them begging for attention and causing me to act out in ways that are not productive.”
In recognizing that she was reenacting old narratives in her relationships, she realized she had been seeking validation and acceptance from places that were outside of herself. This moment of clarity empowered her to take control of her own self-worth, committing to doing whatever it took to heal the deepest relationship any of us can have with anyone: the one we have with ourselves.
Credit: Greg Castel
“What I learned is that I was looking for something that I can only give to myself,” she says. “I took it as a stance of power and this is an opportunity for me to never be in this situation quite like this again, and whatever I have to do to get there, I will do.”
While society often sends messages aimed at Black women to shrink their presence, Shelah hopes that readers of Unruly open themselves up to more possibilities and give themselves permission to grow beyond societal limitations. After all, “You get to choose.”
Unruly: A Guide to Reclaiming Your True Self is out on Oct. 22.
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Featured image by Greg Castel