

The season of love begins with a 1st quarter moon in Taurus inviting us to indulge in our creature comforts. On the 3rd, Mercury transitions into Pisces whisking us off into La La Land. Matters of romance get hot and spicy when Venus moves into Aries on the 7th. Watch out for a clash of egos leading up to the dramatic Full Moon in Leo on the 9th. Mars moving into Capricorn on the 16th reminds you to let your work speak for itself. On the same day, Mercury begins its first retrograde of 2020 which takes place in ethereal Pisces. Once the Sun moves into this mutable zodiac sign on the 18th, it'll be difficult to stay focused on the practical matters. However, the New Moon on the 23rd invites us to find the magic in the mundane.
Check out your cosmic blueprint for the month ahead below:
Aries
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
This time of the year begins to slow down for you as much of the inner planets move into Pisces. Your dream world is getting pretty weird when Mercury moves into this part of your sky on the 3rd. However, communication with the spirit world is all the more easy for you during this transit. On the 7th, Venus moves into your sign making you THE hot commodity.
Fortune and favor follows the bold and we all know you have no qualms about shooting your shot.
Around the Full Moon on the 9th, you may finally let your crush know you're interested or debut that creative project you've been working on behind the scenes. Your ruling planet, Mars, moves into Capricorn on the 16th, helping you get ahead in career matters. Just make sure you're not bulldozing your boss over on your way to the top of the ladder. On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde, helping you get clear about whether you're truly ready to part ways with something (or someone) for good. February comes to a close with the Sun and Moon snuggled up in Pisces on the 23rd, inviting you to choose the path of the peaceful warrior. Sometimes surrendering is our wisest course of action. *Cues the "Serenity Prayer"*
Taurus
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with a cozy quarter moon in your sign on the 1st, making it a good day to do your favorite thing—absolutely nothing (unless you're making time to stuff your face with pizza and wings). On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces, helping you heal any rifts among your social circle. Bring on the good vibes! Your ruling planet, Venus, moves into wild ass Aries on the 7th. You could be attracting a fiery individual into your life or embodying the flame yourself. The Full Moon on the 9th is bringing the family drama to a head, giving you the clear to leave the nest or take some space to yourself. By the 3rd quarter moon on the 15th, the heat cools down, helping you make amends where necessary.
On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn getting you motivated toward your educational goals. What do you need to learn to develop yourself for your long-term goals? Now is the time to create your plan of action. The first Mercury Retrograde of the year begins on the same day, bringing back some old friends, and issues with them, from the past. It's up to you to decide if it's worth reconciling or leaving behind. This is also a good time to breathe some new life into an old vision of yours that is fading away. The month winds down with both the Sun and Moon in Pisces, restoring your hope in your connection to others and the purpose you're meant to serve in this life.
Gemini
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
February kicks off with Mercury moving into Pisces on the 3rd, helping you make magic in your chosen career path. On the 7th, the planet of love and money moves into passionate Aries which could have you attracting someone within your social circle. If you've been thinking about promoting someone from the friend zone, now would be a good time to do so. The Full Moon on the 9th helps you clear the air in a dramatic, I mean…a grand, way that really catches someone's attention. Make the best use of social media to take your brand to the next level around this time.
Energetic Mars moves into disciplined Capricorn on the 16th which has you hyper-focused on getting in good standing with financial institutions. It's time to get the credit card spending in check, ma'am. During this transit, you could also be faced with some pent-up aggression, needing a healthy outlet for release. Spending time in nature is beneficial but if it's too cold outside, surround yourself with plenty of plants and crystals. On the same day, Mercury goes retro, giving you a chance to revisit an important conversation about your career progression. The month comes to a sweet close with both the Sun and the Moon coupled up on the 23rd extending a new opportunity to you that feels like a major achievement.
Cancer
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Wanderlust is likely getting the best of you around the 3rd when Mercury moves into mutable Pisces. It's time to plan for that Spring Break trip—preferably before Mercury goes retro on the 18th. No worries if you can't book that flight to Cabo before then! Check out these tips for navigating Mercury Retrograde. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and you could find yourself attracting someone in a position of authority. The Full Moon on the 9th coaxes you out of your shell to shine that beautiful light of yours.
As you reveal your most authentic self, you'll align with the eternal source of wealth.
On the 16th, Mars moves into hardworking Capricorn and you're getting serious about your #relationshipgoals. During this transit, the insufferable "let's just go with the flow" types will likely get blocked. Mercury begins its first retrograde of the year on the same day, giving you a chance to triple-check your travel plans, study for exams, or to just spend some time reconnecting with your Higher Self. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces, marking the last month of the astrological year. February comes to a close with a New Moon on the 23rd inviting you to take a journey inward to find the treasures that lie within the wisdom of your experiences. Just make sure you come back out to share those gems with the rest of us!
Leo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with a 1st quarter moon in Taurus. Use this energy to make that last final push towards that thing you need to check off your to-do list. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces which will have convos running deep as you prioritize your more intimate connections during this time. You'll need a soft space to land during this time, so make sure your support system is ready and available. The planet of love moves into fiesty Aries on the 7th and you could meet someone special at school, a seminar, or during your travels. When it comes to money-making ventures, think of ways that you can capitalize on selling information that you're an expert on. Your Full Moon takes place on the 9th and all eyes are on you! This is a good time to celebrate your growth of the seeds you planted six months ago at your New Moon.
Around the 15th, the energy gets chill with the 3rd quarter moon in Scorpio, inviting you to relax and reflect on the journey. On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn, getting your life all the way together. Discipline and routine are your best friends during this transit! This is also a supportive time to work towards those fitness goals. On the same day, Mercury begins its first retrograde of the year, making this a good time to call up your credit lender to work out a payment plan. During this transit, you may also be revisited by some old painful, emotional experiences. Trust that the feels will pass and you're a lot further along in your growth than your memories make it seem. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces and the New Moon follows shortly behind on the 23rd, reminding you of just how powerful you are for the wisdom you gained from some of your most challenging experiences.
Virgo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Relationships take front and center at the beginning of the month when Mercury moves into Pisces, helping you smooth out any friction within your closest one-on-one connections. Once Venus moves into Aries on the 7th, you could feel like you're playing tug-of-war when it comes to matters of romance. Remember, it's not about being right. It's about being willing to learn and grow with someone (which does involve being wrong sometimes). On the 9th, the Full Moon illuminates a part of your subconscious that's been stifling the vibrancy of your expression.
What wounds do you need to resolve around your inner child to feel more safe in expressing this aspect of yourself?
On the 16th, driven Mars moves into Capricorn, helping you get more serious about your creative interests. It's time to turn those hobbies into new streams of income. When it comes to romance, you're desiring something more solid during this transit. Mercury begins its first retrograde of the year on the same day, making this a great time to revisit any business contracts and agreements that need some fine-tuning. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces heralding in the last season of the astrological year. The month winds down with a New Moon on the 23rd inviting you into a new professional or romantic partnership that is bound to bring more magic into your world.
Libra
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with you focused on improving your health and well-being. Although structure is usually the way to go about this, Piscean energy makes it a little more difficult to stay focused so opting for more free-flowing activities like dancing or taking a walk can be just what you need to clear your mind and get your blood flow circulating. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries, heating up your love life and helping you attract more of the Type A personalities (if that's your thing). When it comes to money moves, don't be afraid to take the lead! The Full Moon on the 9th invites you to celebrate life with your friends. This is also great energy for a big social media reveal of that project or new merchandise you're dropping.
On the 16th, Mars moves into goal-oriented Capricorn and during this transit you'll be running a tight ship on the home front. This is a good time to work on any long overdue organizational projects. If you've been thinking about long-term investments, it's time to get out there and start hunting for properties. Also, be mindful of pent-up aggression toward your family members, particularly a masculine figure, during this time. On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde, making it a good time to check in with your doctor for your annual exam with your gynecologist. On the 18th, Pisces season officially begins and the month comes to a close with a magical New Moon on the 23rd inviting you to prioritize more emotional healing and balance in your life.
Scorpio
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
February begins with a first quarter moon in Taurus on the 1st, creating a little tension between your growing need for space and the demands of others. Opt for a quiet night in and tell everyone else they can wait. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces, granting you the Midas touch when it comes to your creative projects. You've also got the gift of gab when it comes to wooing anyone that you're romantically interested in. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and a sexy workplace romance could be developing. If you want to avoid that drama, opt for the gym or some kind of fitness environment if you're open to meeting someone.
On the 9th, the Full Moon calls for a celebration of a long-awaited career achievement. Mars, the warrior, moves into bossy Capricorn on the 16th and you may be anxious to make a move. A short, weekend getaway would be perfect during this transit. Just make sure to run through your Mercury Retrograde checklist before you hit the road! On the same day, Mercury dips backwards through Pisces to help you make some edits to that creative project you've been toiling away at. On the 18th, the Sun officially enters Pisces and a New Moon follows shortly behind on the 23rd inviting you to embrace more pleasure, adventure, and magic.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Home and family matters are your top priorities at the beginning of the month once Mercury moves into Pisces on the 3rd. Conversations about renovating, renting, or buying property are likely. If you're in an established connection, you and your partner could be talking about adding a new addition to your household. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and dating gets fun for you again. You'll be attracting the more adventurous, take-charge types but just be mindful of a clash of the egos especially as we build up to the Full Moon in Leo on the 9th. We all know how much you love a friendly debate but certain conversations just shouldn't be had on the first date, okay, Saggie? Instead of being overly opinionated with your romantic interest, how about blogging about it instead?
On the 16th, Mars moves into disciplined Capricorn, helping you take a slow and steady approach to building wealth for yourself. Now that the holiday season is behind us, it's time to get serious about your financial goals for the year ahead. On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde giving you a chance to revisit a conversation about that house you're interested in closing on or that contractor you want to hire to renovate your kitchen. Pay attention to the details if you're signing any contract during this time. Pisces season officially begins on the 18th when the Sun enters the mutable zodiac sign represented by the fish and the month comes to a close with a sweet New Moon inviting you to plant your roots in something new.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The 1st quarter moon in your sister sign, Taurus, has you feeling pretty productive right out of the gate in February, especially when it comes to materializing all of those genius creative ideas of yours. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces which will bring an element of sensitivity to your thoughts and communication over the next month. This is a good time to smooth out tension with siblings and to also show your softer side to the world, especially if you're an artist! On the 7th, home and family takes center stage once Venus moves into Aries. Be mindful of short tempers and unnecessary battles with roommates or the landlord.
The Full Moon on the 9th hits you in a vulnerable spot but you'll bravely accept the wake-up call headed your way. On a more practical level, you could be paying off some debt that's been hanging around for a while now. On the 16th, Mars moves into your sign, getting you energized and ready to take charge of your goals. You can be the most productive during this transit so make the most of it. Bear in mind that Mercury does go retro on the same day but for you it's no biggie—get your car maintenanced, back up your hard drive, and maybe take a short social media hiatus if you need it. On the 18th, the Sun moves into Pisces for the next month and it will be meeting the New Moon in the sky on the 23rd, inviting you to set the intentions for a new way of expressing your deepest, most sentimental emotions.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Family tension could be stirring around the 1st quarter moon in Taurus at the beginning of the month. Choose your battles wisely. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces bringing the convo to money (magick). You're super in tune with the cosmic flow of abundance, so light up your prosperity candle or send up a prayer to your ancestors for some financial assistance. Love matters get hot and spicy when Venus moves into Aries where she's not so comfortable being. And for you, this placement can result in a bunch of unnecessary arguments with bae. However, if you're single, there should be a few VERY competitive suitors trying to get your attention on dating apps and social media. The Full Moon on the 9th calls for a celebration with a significant person in your life.
On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn helping you work through some unresolved feelings about your personal power. You're a lot more in control than you have previously thought. What will it take for you to embrace a sense of authority and ownership over the trajectory of your life? On the same day, Mercury goes retro for the first time this year, giving you a chance to revisit your budget, or any of those prosperity manifestations, to see what the progress is looking like. This is also a sensitive time in which you may be reminded of some experiences in which your self-esteem wasn't at its best. Remember, self-love is the best love. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces and cozies up with the New Moon on the 23rd, inviting you to embark on a new path to establish wealth that is in alignment with purpose.
Pisces
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with Mercury moving into your sign, making your world all the more mystical and magical than it already is. While everyone else around you will feel like they're in the twilight zone, you'll be the anchor that shows us how to navigate the non-material plane. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and you'll attract more wealth by highlighting the qualities that make you a unique individual. It's OK to toot your horn from time to time, babe. The Full Moon on the 9th could reveal a hidden enemy that's jealous of all of the attention you're getting. But like they say, "If you don't have haters, you must not be doing something right."
This energy can also help you recognize how you're being own worst enemy by sabotaging the success (and maybe even the fame) you're meant to experience.
On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn, helping you get serious about those big hopes and dreams of yours. It's time to get backed up with right support from an army that has a similar mission as you. What legacy can you and your tribe create together? On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde and you'll likely be revisited by people from the past the most. Forgiveness is always your best bet but allowing someone access to you in the same way is up to your discretion. Your birthday season officially begins on the 18th with the month ending on a sweet note with a beautiful New Moon on the 23rd inviting you to make a wish about the magic you want to experience in your life in the year to come.
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Feature Photo by Laci Jordan/xoNecole
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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