
Me? I’m an ambivert. That means a lot of stuff (check out “What Exactly Is An Ambivert? How Can You Tell If You Are One?”); however, as it relates to this article specifically, it means that I personally don’t care what time of the year it is — my favorite place to be is inside of my home. I actually try to make it the kind of sanctuary space where that will always be the case.
That doesn’t mean I don’t get excited whenever my favorite time of year rolls around, though; that’s when I will definitely be out in somebody’s store picking up a few things that will make my living space extra warm and cozy.
Things like what? Things like the 15 items and ideas that I’m about to share with you — just in case, like me, you plan on doing a lot of kickin’ it…in your bed or on your couch without any reservation or apology. I mean, it is fall, after all.
1. Go with Neutral Tones

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I can’t believe that it’s almost been two years since my townhouse basically blew up. There, my home décor was shades of blues, browns, and white. My new spot is variations of green, gray, brown, and blue. Clearly, neutrals — the mixing of primary, secondary, and tertiary colors — are my thing, and I don’t apologize for it. Neutrals create a warmth to a space. Neutrals are easy to layer with some of your favorite brighter hues. And, if you have a boo thang, he will probably feel more comfortable in a home that’s decorated with neutral shades.
So, whether it’s some new throw pillows for your bed or couch or an ottoman that you’ve been eyeing to store some of your summer clothes that you’re in the process of putting away, pick up something in off-white, caramel, coffee, or navy color. It’ll immediately bring more autumn energy into your living space.
2. Get Yourself a Cable Knit Blanket

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There’s honestly no telling how many blankets I own. Some are lightweight for the spring and summer seasons, while others are heavier for fall and winter. There’s just something about curling up underneath a blanket while watching a movie that is a top-tier experience. This year, if you don’t already own a cable knit blanket, indulge yourself and get one. Now, I’ll be honest with you — some of the quality ones aren’t the cheapest; however, if you go to Etsy (one of my favorite go-tos for just about…everything), you should be able to find one that works well within your budget. As a bonus, many of them are handmade. Just go to the site and put “cable knit blankets” in the search field.
3. DIY a Fabric Spray

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Okay, so why didn’t any of y’all put me on to DIVA Glamorous Wash before now? What in the world?! I actually found out from an influencer who I like a lot (Christiana is what she goes by on YouTube). Man, that stuff smells amazing and is also a pretty effective fabric cleaner. I don’t use it all of the time, though, only because the scent is so strong, and sometimes, I want my clothes and other items to smell like something different — and that’s where fabric spray comes in. I really like this as a “make your home smell amazing” option because you can customize the spray to smell however you’d like it to.
That’s cool, not just when it comes to customizing scents based on the seasons (some fall scents include vanilla, pumpkin, apple-cinnamon, cranberry, and sandalwood) but controlling what kind of all-natural ingredients that you want to add to your favorite essential oils. That said, a super easy fabric spray recipe that can go on your bedding, living room furniture, and beyond is located here.
4. Also, Get a Ladder-Style Shelf

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There’s something about mantels and bookcases that can also cozy up a space. I think a part of it is connected to whatever you put in and/or on them. If you like this idea but your living quarters are kinda tight, how about a ladder-style shelf? Since it’s vertical instead of horizontal, it can easily fit anywhere from your bedroom to your bathroom. Then, you can add your favorite books, knick-knacks, a plant, and a couple of soy candles to cozy the space right on up. The cool thing about this option is you should be able to find one for between $40-60 dollars (like this one here), in a variety of colors, on sites like Amazon.
5. Own Some “Portable” Fireplaces

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Speaking of visually warming up your spot with a “furniture accessory,” what if you’ve always wanted a fireplace, but your spot doesn’t have one? Something that I personally find to be a visually stunning alternative is to get yourself a fireplace surround (which is basically the frame of a fireplace), then put some tall candles and/or plants into the inside of it. If you also arrange a couple of pictures on top of it, it’ll easily be one of the favorite things about your house for both you and your guests. Are they cheap? No (you’ll probably have to cough up about three hundred bucks for a good one). Are they worth the investment? Absolutely.
Oh, and speaking of portable fireplaces, if you want to have your only lil’ mini bonfire this fall or winter season, I recently purchased a friend of mine some portable campfires (I’m telling you, Etsy is the ish!). They are the cutest tiny tins that you can light up and make s’mores or whatever else you want to do — whether inside or out. He adored them, and I’ll definitely be getting more. You can check out the ones that I purchased (that are made from organic soy and are totally reusable) here.
6. Invest in a Customized Whiskey Maker

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Something else that I got for that same friend was a customized whiskey maker. No, not one of those cocktail-making machines (that are actually pretty nice) that help you to be your own bartender at home. I mean those cute little sets that let you customize various flavors of whiskey by adding different herbs so that you can infuse them into some bourbon. Since fall tends to be the signature hot toddy season, why not have a set of your own in tow? The one I got was under forty bucks. You can check it out here.
7. Put Some Scented Pine Cones into a Basket

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Ain’t it wild how you can find yourself “mimicking” things from your childhood without initially realizing it? I used to wonder why I always had an affinity for pine cones; then, I remembered that my mother used to add them to the home aesthetic. I’m telling you, whether you purchase them already scented or you decide to create a scent and add them to some pine cones on your own (arts and crafts stores typically carry them, by the way), if you put a few into a wicker basket, they will have whatever room you place them in smelling wonderful, easily, throughout the entire holiday season. Plus, they will add a bit of nature to the inside of your house as well.
8. Get a Slipcover for Your Couch

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Have you been looking at your couch for the past six months like you want to toss it out of the window, but it’s just not in your budget to get a new one? Simple solution: a slipcover. You can totally change the look of your sofa without breaking the bank, and it’s just one more cost-effective way to switch up the look and feel of your home during this time of the year. The options are so vast that my two cents would be to put “couch slipcovers” in the search field of your favorite search engine to see which fabrics and designs tickle your fancy.
9. Install a Stained Glass Window

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Whether you want a bit more privacy or you simply want to get creative as far as window treatments go, hands down, one of the best ways to accomplish both missions is to purchase some stained glass window tint film (some companies call them “window clings”). They’re super inexpensive, relatively easy to install, can make a window look like authentic stained glass, and it’s pretty easy to remove as well, not to mention the fact that it makes it damn near impossible for people to look into the window once you add the film to it.
If you go to Amazon and put “stained glass window film” in the search field, you’ll see all kinds of options (design-wise) to choose from. A quick YouTube short can show you how to install the film yourself here.
10. Order Some Canvas Prints of Some of Your Favorite Pictures

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I grew up around some people who are world-renowned visual artists. A couple of them, I commissioned before they “hit it big”; others, I should’ve (le sigh). Anyway, until my budget says that I can afford one of their pieces, I am so into canvas prints. You can get a picture printed off that is damn near as big as half of one of your walls, and because it’s a literal canvas print, all you have to do is hang it. As I’m writing this, I’m looking at a Black print that I purchased digitally on Etsy that I blew up to what I think is 30” x 40”; it was less than sixty bucks. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
You can do the same with a print or some of your favorite pictures with some of your favorite people (black and white shots would probably look like sophisticated art, for real). The company that I went with is Canvas Champ (they were professional, affordable, and fast); there are plenty of other options online, though. Just put “canvas prints” in the search field to figure out which one will best suit your personal needs.
11. String Some Lights Somewhere

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Gone are the days when string lights were reserved only for Christmas trees. Personally, I’ve got a wall that has nothing but strings of fairy lights hanging from it, and I couldn’t be happier. Since it gets darker quicker during the fall season, that kind of makes us want to have softer/dimmer lighting, and fairy lights can provide that, especially if you want an “amplified version” of candlelight without the risk of you forgetting to blow your candles out. Hang them on the wall like I did, string them through your curtains and/or around your bedposts. I mean, you see the feature pic, right? Didn’t those fairy lights help to draw you right on in? Coziness on steroids, for sure.
12. Layer Some Throw Rugs

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I’ve always preferred hardwood floors over carpeted ones. That doesn’t mean I’m not good to throw down with a few throw rugs, though. On the practical tip, they can lower your heating bills because they provide what is known as “thermal resistance” (real talk). I also like the fact that they help to absorb noise. Visually, they can cozy up a space. If you’ve got kids or pets, rugs can make it safer for them to move about (as far as falling down is concerned, just make sure that you get a rug gripper to keep your rugs from moving all over the place so that they don’t trip on them). Plus, they’re easier and cheaper to clean than carpeted flooring, and you can swap out different ones to create a different feel and style whenever you want. Are you sold? Cool. When you gettin’ some then?
13. Consider Some Leather Accents

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If you’ve got hella bougie taste and your bank account doesn’t, something that you can do to make your home look more…let’s go with luxurious is to add some leather accents to it. Leather pillows. A leather round ottoman. A large leather basket. I recently stumbled upon some leather placements that I thought were pretty dope. What about a leather-wrapped vase for your favorite fall-season flowers? Listen, just like some expensive shoes can totally change the look and feel of a dress from Target, so can some leather accessories when it comes to your house.
14. Of Course, You Need Some Candles

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There probably won’t ever be a time when I’m writing a piece on how to improve the décor of your home (and honestly, the quality of your life, in my humble opinion) without bringing candles into the discourse. They create a warm feeling. They can be uber-romantic. Something about watching their flames flicker is very relaxing. And you can get scents that will make your entire house smell grand. Actually, one candle company is so into ‘em that they came up with 14 solid reasons to keep some candles in your home (you can read it here).
So, in the spirit of the autumn season, how about some autumn-themed soy (I’ll always say it: they burn cleaner and last longer) scented candles? Some of the same scents that I mentioned for the fabric spray you can find in candles too. Yeah, definitely, one of the most cost-effective ways to warm up a space is to add some candles to it.
15. Treat Yourself to a Down Comforter

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A top reason why you can’t go wrong with a down comforter is they can easily last you one to two decades (yes, literally). Hell, even a down alternative one can give you 10 good years if you take care of it properly. So, imagine how much longer you can get “mileage” out of that type of bedding if you swap two out twice a year (one for spring and summer and another for fall and winter)? See what I’m sayin’? Besides, down comforters are warm, super cozy, eco-friendly, and durable; and another word that’s used for them is “breathability.”
What that basically means is a down comforter is made out of the kind of material that allows your skin to literally…breathe. Ain’t nothin’ like a cozy bed to make you want to enjoy everything about this time of year — so treat yo’ self. As the temps drop, get some warmth indoors. The kind that you could customize to your very own liking. Enjoy!
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- 15 Décor Hacks That Can Help Your House To Welcome In The Fall Season ›
- 12 (Affordable) Ways To Make Your Bedroom More Tranquil & Beautiful ›
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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While doing a podcast interview a couple of weeks ago, when I said my age, the interviewer complimented me by saying that what I said is not what they would’ve guessed. When they asked what the secret was, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Oh, I’m gonna take me a nap.”
I adore sleep. I’ve said before that it’s like what Six Flags is to some people. And really, it’s just a plus that there are so many health benefits from getting plenty of rest. Beauty-wise, science does reveal that getting no less than seven hours a night can slow down signs of aging. Know what else? There are some direct things that sleep — and the lack thereof — can do to your immunity as well.
And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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