Whew, weddings. Whether it's in our heads or on paper, most of us start planning our wedding day long before any "suitors" come into the picture. One of my best friends and I constantly joked about having a wedding binder even though there were no potentials in sight. But when my now-husband popped the question, our efforts didn't seem so crazy. I was ready ready and couldn't wait to bring my plans to life. Still, my Pinterest pages, vision boards, and saved snapshots on Instagram had nothing on what I was in for.
Yes, I had a wedding planner because… weddings are stressful. There are so many little details that are easy to forget (did I order ribbons for the chairs on the end?). But with or without a pro by your side, wedding planning books are game-changers and stress relievers for novices and experts alike. From budget checklists and typically forgotten to-dos to advice from wedding planners to the stars, they remove (most of) the stress and make it as fun of an experience as possible.
Your wedding planning - and maybe even your sanity - isn't complete without these books.
1.'The Wedding Book: An Expert’s Guide to Planning Your Perfect Day--Your Way'
Amazon
If you've looked at any celebrity wedding or event in awe, you've probably seen one planned by Mindy Weiss. She's been the creative mind behind ceremonies and celebrations for some of our faves like Diana Ross. But if you're like most of us who don't have Diana Ross money, you can get as close as possible with Weiss' book (which has been dubbed the ultimate wedding planning bible). It serves as a step-by-step guide to achieving your dream wedding, even with a small budget. It gives tips and advice on all things wedding etiquette and other aspects like selecting a menu, wardrobe choices, and how to get the most bang for your buck.
2.'Bridechilla How to Plan Your Wedding: Survival Guide'
Amazon
We said we wanted to put the fun in wedding planning, right? This book does just that. I'm not saying that there won't be any stress involved in planning a ceremony. It comes with the territory. But it definitely shouldn't outdo the fun involved. That's where this book comes in. It gets rid of the pressure to stick with ceremonial traditions and motivates you to do.your.own.thing. But of course, it doesn't leave you hanging. It offers amazing alternatives and provides inspiration for aesthetics and the not-so-fun specifics.
3.'Wedding Planner: Complete Bridal Planning for African-American Black Brides'
Amazon
It offers much more than just tips for ironing out details of your wedding. It caters to black brides and features motivational quotes for your ceremony. The creators literally thought of everything like a space for reception music playlists. The best part? It can be kept as a keepsake to look back on long after you say "I do."
4.'Celebrate Everything!: Fun Ideas to Bring Your Parties to Life'
Amazon
This book just screams, "Let's plan a party!" It emphasizes the fun and stress-free factors of planning your big day (and other life celebrations), helping you look back on your wedding with a smile instead of a cringe. What I love about this one is that event planner Darcy Miller threw in D.I.Y. projects and recipes to help make your celebration all your own. She also included expert tips and some of her own inspirations to make your party planning experience a less stressful one.
5.Two Crew Design Maid Of Honor Notebook
Etsy
The maid of honor potentially has just as many responsibilities, and sometimes more, than the bride herself. So it only makes sense to have a book with her in mind. It's such a unique way to show love and appreciation to the woman who will stand closest to you on your big day. It includes details of the dress she'll wear, her tasks before, during, and after the wedding, as well as a bridal shower checklist and planner. Your maid of honor is a superhero and will certainly be deserving of a cape in the form of this book.
6.The Gift Studio Personalized Wedding Planner Book
Etsy
For the well-meaning brides who are indecisive at heart, this wedding planning book is for you. The appearance and pages are so inspiring to look at you can't help but want to jump in and execute plans for your big day. It comes with 140 pages of checklists, tips, advice, vision boards, countdowns, and even quizzes to help you make those extra tough choices. You can even personalize it and get your and the groom's name on it to make it extra special. That's what your day is all about, right?
7.'All the Essentials Wedding Planner: The Ultimate Tools for Organizing Your Big Day'
Amazon
Created for the overanalyzing strategic bride (which could be any future wife at any given moment - so don't be ashamed!), this book not only comes with a to-do list but features a calendar to help you stick to deadlines and stay on track. The calendar goes as far as 18 months out for those with longer engagements who are itching to start planning sooner than later. It even includes a detailed budget checklist for expenses like gifts for those in your wedding party and thank-you notes for guests.
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When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
