As a writer, I believe in the power of words. As a woman of faith, I believe that we manifest what we speak and do the most.
I apply both principles to the way I set goals and resolutions. I take time to truly understand what I feel and what I want, then I work to speak those very things into existence, and onto my vision board. It's the difference between wanting a boyfriend and wanting a husband. Anyone can be a boyfriend, but sis, I want a husband; I want my husband. That is what I speak. And in doing so, I call into existence the very thing I desire: my husband.
See where I'm going with this?
This same idea should be applied to your New Year's resolutions. While it's easier to set standard resolutions each year, it's important (and far more beneficial) to set resolutions that honor your true desires. This way, you declare and work toward what you truly want.
To manifest your heart's desires, it's important to speak to the depths of what they really are. Below are the most common resolutions from 2018 with new suggested language. The point of this isn't to hijack your resolutions, but to encourage you to think critically about how to ask for – and manifest – what you truly want for the new year.
Common Resolution: I want to lose weight.
Suggested Resolution: I want to be healthier.
Rationale: Losing weight is a great goal but it's often created under superficial pretenses. If you want to lose weight for you, go for it! But if you want to lose weight to emulate the people you see online and in magazines, then you'll always fall short. Losing weight will always be a challenge when your desire to do so is for inauthentic reasons. Instead, opt for something more beneficial to you in the long-term.
"I want to be healthy" is rooted more in self-love and -care, as opposed to "losing weight" which is often a desire rooted in self-loathing. Through self-love and body positivity, you're more likely to make the changes necessary to yield the results you're looking for. You'll eat better, establish healthier habits, and dedicate yourself to discipline – not because you hate your weight, but because you love yourself. Changing this language takes the thought off of the dissatisfaction we usually have for our weight and puts an emphasis on what matters most: our health. Opt for this resolution rooted in self-love and you'll begin to see the weight loss results you've always longed for.
Common Resolution: I want to learn a new trade.
Suggested Resolution: I want to sharpen my gifts.
Rationale: Growth is a beautiful thing and finding interest in a new trade is wonderful. But, sometimes we let knowing how to do many things steer us from doing the right things. Instead of trying to learn something completely new – and possibly unrelated to your life's purpose – focus on sharpening your gifts.
Your gifts were provided to you, divinely, for a reason. They are what you've been provided to live a purposeful life and carry out God's assignment. Many times, the new talents we're looking to establish are just our gifts that haven't been developed yet. Desiring to sharpen your gifts will not only ensure you're learning new things, but that those new things are relevant to the work you were put here to do. Remaining intentional about what new skills you establish helps position you for a life rooted in purpose.
Current Resolution: I want new/more friends.
Suggested Resolution: I want better/more quality friendships.
Rationale: I said this one plenty of times. I wanted more friends for the different things I wanted to do, and the different areas of life I needed companionship in. I felt that having more friends – particularly, professional friends, creative friends, going out friends, friends who give good advice – would fill those various voids. It didn't; in fact, it made it harder, for an introvert like me, to keep up with and nurture those many friendships.
While I don't think there's anything wrong with having different friends for different things, I think there's a missed opportunity in not understanding why. Sometimes we say we want new friends when what we really want is a different presence in our friendships. Instead of rushing off to make new ones, expecting voids to be filled, work on cultivating better more quality friendships.
Current Resolution: I want a new job.
Suggested Resolution: I want my dream job, or I want a job in my career.
Rationale: Sometimes you do just want a new job to get out of your current one. But a lot of times, our cry for a new job, is really a cry for work that we're passionate about. The more we ask for a new job, the more new jobs we'll get; but at some point, we must switch gears and work to manifest what we truly desire: a fulfilling career. Being clear about our desire for meaningful work, rather than a new job, will get us to be more intentional about our pursuit throughout the new year. It can also open you up to opportunities at your current job that you never thought to consider.
The more critically we think about our 2019 goals, the more intentional we become when proclaiming them. The clearer we are about our desires, the more likely we are to work to manifest them. So as you prepare for the new year, do so with reflection, self-discovery, and clear, intentional resolutions.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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