
7 Terms To Define A Toxic Relationship That Aren't Discussed Nearly Enough

Several years ago, when I wrote the article “Gaslighting, Love Bombing & 5 Other Triggers To Call Out In Your Relationships” for the platform, I shared some of the common terms to look out for when it comes to toxic practices that sometimes happen in relationships. Well, today, we’re going to dive into some that, while you may have never heard of them before (at least in this context), it wouldn’t shock me at all if you’ve experienced at least a couple of them firsthand — perhaps with the same person too.
Now, before we go all in, let me also say that although oftentimes, when we talk about the poison (because that is what toxic means, right?) relationships in our life, it tends to be from the angle of a romantic one, these can apply to any type of relational dynamic including relatives, friends, and co-workers. So please, as you’re processing all of these definitions, don’t just ask yourself if you and/or your bae do these things to one another; ponder if you’ve got any kind of connection with someone who resembles any of this…because, if you do, it’s time to make some serious changes. Because poison (toxicity), in any form, is good for absolutely no one.
1. "Fauxpology"
Hell, when I first got introduced to the concept of a “fauxpology,” I got triggered just looking at the damn word. LOL. The reality is that, although it sucks for someone to have done you hurt or harm and not even say “I’m sorry” for it, what’s even worse is for them to apologize and not really mean it. And just how do you know that they didn’t? Making excuses or trying to justify their actions equates to a fauxpology. Trying to find a way to turn you into the victimizer and them the victim in the process (for instance, “I only did that because you…”) is a fauxpology. The oh-so-very arrogant, “Look, I’ve already apologized for this; I’m not going to do it again” is a fauxpology.
Trying to gaslight you into thinking that what you know happened didn’t happen that way within their so-called apology is a fauxpology. Finding every way in the world to apologize, BUT actually doing it is a fauxpology. And a problem with all of these is it’s rooted in not taking personal accountability — which almost guarantees that the individual who owes you a genuine apology is going to repeat what they did to you, some way, on some level…again. If not immediately, eventually, chile.
2. "Hoovering"
Now that I’ve completed my (third) book, it has truly tripped me out how much I’m discussing narcissism and narcissistic abuse. The truth is, several people in my world had me caught up in their destructive patterns, and I didn’t even know it because I hadn’t studied narcissism at the level that I have now — and boy, is hoovering a tactic that narcissists like to use pretty often.
Basically, "hoovering" is what happens when you attempt to set boundaries with someone who isn’t very healthy for you, and once they see that is what you are doing, they find ways to try and reel you back in. They might do it by love bombing you (giving you a ton of attention and affection at first, just to regain your trust), trying to make you feel guilty, acting like nothing happened in the first place (which is just another form of gaslighting at the end of the day); invalidating your emotions by making light of what they did (or light of how you feel about what they did); making plans involving the two of you without asking your permission to do so (toxic relatives are good for this type of ish), and/or getting your loved ones involved in order to put more stress on you.
One of the biggest problems with hoovering is that the person doing it is so concerned with getting their own needs met that they will totally railroad yours to make it happen — if you let them, that is.
3. "Double Bind"
S
GiphyIt’s hilarious how many articles reference the phrase that definitely comes to mind whenever I think of someone who likes to “double bind” someone else:damned if you do, damned if you don’t. And just why is this so fitting? Well, a double bind (as far as a relationship is concerned) is when someone sends conflicting messages. For instance, when people lead with compliments and then follow that up with insults (“You’re smart ‘n all but you do some really dumb stuff a lot”), how exactly are you supposed to process that information? Exactly. Honestly, one of the first things that comes to my mind are divorced parents who say some of the dumbest stuff to their children: “I can’t stand your father. He loves you, though.”
Yeah, some of y’all need to see a therapist and quit using your children as sounding boards (it’s just another form of emotional abuse that perhaps I will unpack at another time). Another example is when people will say one thing while their tone conveys something totally different (in walks sarcasm and/or cynicism). If after someone walks away from an individual the first thing that comes to mind is they are in a no-win dynamic, more times than not, it means that they are caught up in a double bind. And anything (or one) that constantly causes you to feel confused or defeated? Some toxicity is brewing, for sure.
4. "Engulfment"
If you’re someone who is familiar with attachment styles in relationships, you might’ve heard of engulfment before. Probably the easiest way to define this is it’s an extreme form of codependency and a close relative of love addiction. The reason why I say that is because engulfment is basically about being so immersed or caught up in someone that you become more reliant on them than you actually should be. Hmph. A real danger with engulfment is when the lines between two people become so blurred that they lose their identities, which is known as enmeshment. When this goes down, both people find themselves throwing boundaries out the window which is never wise or good.
What are some telltale signs of engulfment as far as a relationship is concerned? If you or your partner feel like you have to take responsibility for each other’s emotions (“You MADE me say this” or “You MAKE me do that”) or your total sense of self-worth is wrapped up in each other, you are caught up in engulfment/enmeshment — and yes, that is a huge red flag. It sets you up to make an idol out of your partner or your relationship…and no one or nothing should be put on that kind of pedestal.
5. "Relational Hypervigilance"
Hands down, one of my favorite quotes is, “Adulthood is surviving childhood,” and this definitely complements the need to avoid relational hypervigilance. I say that because folks who have past trauma, abandonment issues, deep insecurities, or problems with trusting others (all of which can come from a dysfunctional childhood) are prone to fall for this particular type of behavior.
That said, relational hypervigilance is all about someone being so anxious in the relationship that they come off as low-key paranoid or controlling — you know, going through your phone, wanting all of your passcodes and passwords, blaming you for doing things that they’ve conjured up in their mind because they worry a lot.
As a result, they keep their partner on eggshells, which draws a wedge between them and their partner, which causes them to become more distrustful and their partner to become drained and even resentful.
More than anything, relational hypervigilance is a vicious cycle. This is actually one of the reasons why I am not a fan of people thinking that it is someone’s job to “show their love” by constantly reassuring their partner. It is not anyone’s responsibility to make you feel more secure and self-assured about yourself than you are willing to on your own. Unfortunately, since relational hypervigilance is so rampant, folks have normalized it instead of realizing just how unhealthy it actually is.
6. "Mutual Assured Destruction"
This is rooted in a military concept. Basically, mutual assured destruction is the thought process that two sides can ultimately destroy each other based on their actions, regardless of who went on the attack first. As far as relationships go, while on the surface, this can look like nothing more than two people who choose (because it is always a choice) to fight dirty, mutual assured destruction can manifest in a more cryptic way as well: codependency. Probably one of the biggest issues in a problematic marriage is when the relationship has — pardon the pun — gone MAD. The cryptic thing about it, relationally, is it typically shows up with two opposite approaches draining one another.
For instance, one person might be seen as the savior and hero while the other is seen as the “sinner” or victim. While the savior is able to feel powerful, the sinner is able to feel protected. Another way that this “works” is if one person handles all of the finances while the other is totally reliant on them; the first person can control the dynamic while the other person may become needy or helpless.
The main thing to keep in mind about "mutual assured destruction" is the motive and intent of things that are said and done — oh, and if a particular pattern or habit is hurting the relationship instead of helping it…because, real talk, some people stay in connection with certain other people only because they are used to them; not because they are actually good for them.
7. "Devaluation"
This last one is something else because it kind of has another side to its coin — one that is also relationally counterproductive. So, where’s the deal: devaluation is about exaggerating someone’s flaws while idealization is about playing up their good points too much. You know, I’ve shared before that one of my favorite quotes is “The excess of a virtue is a vice,” and when it comes to idealization, that would certainly apply. And just what could be wrong with complimenting someone too much? Well, the motive and reason(s) are what I’m curious about; I’ll explain.
Not too long ago, I watched a sex trafficking documentary calledTricked(on Tubi). One of the things that it kept bringing up is the pattern of a pimp: how they will first idealize a woman (especially one who they can tell has low self-esteem) and then, once she is reliant on them, they start to devalue her. Suddenly, they no longer see her good qualities; now, all they want to focus on is her bad points or flaws, so she feels so low that she doesn’t have the mental and emotional strength to leave. This doesn’t just happen in the trafficking world; unfortunately, far too many people do their partners the same way.
First, they pile on the flattering to earn their trust, and then they start to hone in on their flaws (or simply what they don’t like about them, which isn’t always or automatically the same thing) to put their partner in the position of wanting to do more for them in order to keep them around. Managers and supervisors can do this, too (check out “Ever Wonder If You've Got An Emotionally Abusive Boss?”). They’ll tell you all kinds of stuff about how awesome you are (without giving you a promotion or raise) to get you to do more work; then, when you decide to stand up for yourself and want more, suddenly, you’re the one who is problematic (insert eye rolls here).
Bottom line with devaluation is, 8 times out of 10, if you’re not feeling valued in a particular type of relationship that you are in — you are probably right.
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Author and speaker Steve Maraboli once said, “Don’t confuse 'familiar' with 'acceptable.' Toxic relationships can fool you like that.” Y’all, he ain’t neva lied. Sometimes, we stay in toxic situations with folks because we don’t have the strength to leave. Other times, it’s because there are still some perks to staying (I’ll have to delve into that at another time). And then, sometimes, we do it because, although we know something isn’t quite right, we aren’t able to fully pinpoint or clearly articulate what is going on.
Hopefully, this quick list will help to shed some light for some of you if you’ve been knowing that something with someone in your life is “off” — you just haven’t been able to define what it is. Because the sooner you can call out what is toxic, the sooner you can shift or remove it altogether. And the sooner that happens? FREEDOM. Guaranteed.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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