If you never heard about TheTinder Swindler, then you may be living under a rock. TheTinder Swindler is a Netflix docuseries about Simon Leviev and the women who all claimed to have been scammed by the charismatic gentleman. These women met Simon on the dating app Tinder where (spoiler alert) he allegedly posed as a wealthy businessman that came from a family who owned a diamond company (he denied that he was an heir of a diamond company in an interview with Inside Edition).
However, over time, the women that he was dating claimed that he defrauded them out of an estimated $10 million following various schemes. One of the women, Ayleen, had the idea to get back at Simon and she put together a plan that would eventually lead to him being caught.
He was convicted of fraud, theft, and forgery and he served five months out of the 15 he was sentenced to in an Israeli prison in 2019. Since the documentary has come out Simon has denied the allegations on his YouTube page with his new girlfriend by his side.
"I was just a single guy that wanted to meet some girls on Tinder,” he said. "I'm not a Tinder swindler."
The documentary also sparked a lot of conversations on social media.
After dating me for a month and telling me he’s in danger and needs money, the tinder swindler would’ve been shocked when I said “that’s crazy, what you gonna do?”— janet & brandy’s child 🇩🇲 (@LunaJay___) February 17, 2022
everyone saying “could never be me” about the Tinder Swindler as if we all haven’t date a broke man who is a pathological liar— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 15, 2022
The last tweet resonates with many daters, but there are ways to protect yourself. Here are a few tips to help you avoid falling victim to a Tinder swindler (Hinge, IG DMs, IRL.)
Do Your Googles
We may not always do it, but it is best practice to Google the person you’re dating or getting to know. Also, check out their social media pages. While their dating profile may show them one way, their social media pages a lot of times will show you if the person you’re entertaining is actually real.
When you first begin dating someone, you never want to share too much personal information about yourself especially if they share so little. Yes, you may be excited and nervous, which may cause you to overshare, but it’s best to tone it down and be aware. If they’re not willing to open up, there’s a huge possibility that they are hiding something.
The term 'love bombing' has been brought up a lot lately, but what does it really mean? Love bombing is a manipulative tactic used to control you by 'bombing' you with overt affection, gifts, and compliments early on in dating to rush the relationship. The ultimate goal is to make you feel obligated to the love-bomber and for the love-bomber to be in control. It’s a major red flag, so if you experience it, run!
Too Good to Be True
A lot of the women in The Tinder Swindler doc shared how they were whisked away by Simon with private jets and luxury hotels at the beginning dating stage, which all seemed too good to be true. Nine times out of 10, if it feels too good to be true, it probably is. Always trust your instincts as they will never steer you wrong.
Question Frequent Canceling
If you and the person you’re entertaining always make plans to see each other but they keep on canceling, then hang it up. No matter how fine they are or how nice they seem to be, their frequent cancellations are a clear sign that they’re hiding something or they don’t value you in that way. Overall, it’s a no.
Don’t Lend Money
Last, but certainly not least. Don’t ever, ever, ever give money to someone you just met especially if you’ve never met them IRL. Just like Simon in The Tinder Swindler, people will come up with elaborate schemes just to trick others into giving them money. Don’t take out a loan, don’t let them use your credit card, debit card, or put anything in your name. If someone you’re dating starts asking you for money, block them.
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This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
The first big leap was moving to a new city and getting settled into my new home. The next big leap? Was finding community and belonging. Moving to a new city excited me! I looked forward to having my own apartment, decorating it, and exploring what the city had to offer. I also found excitement in the thought of meeting new people and expanding my connections. When it actually came down to it, I felt nervous. I heard that making new friends as an adult can be hard because we all have different responsibilities and schedules that may not align. I knew in order for me to really feel at home in my new city, I had to create community.
Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
Sean Anthony Eddy/ Getty Images
Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
Carlos Barquero/ Getty Images
Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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