If you never heard about The Tinder Swindler, then you may be living under a rock. The Tinder Swindler is a Netflix docuseries about Simon Leviev and the women who all claimed to have been scammed by the charismatic gentleman. These women met Simon on the dating app Tinder where (spoiler alert) he allegedly posed as a wealthy businessman that came from a family who owned a diamond company (he denied that he was an heir of a diamond company in an interview with Inside Edition).
However, over time, the women that he was dating claimed that he defrauded them out of an estimated $10 million following various schemes. One of the women, Ayleen, had the idea to get back at Simon and she put together a plan that would eventually lead to him being caught.
He was convicted of fraud, theft, and forgery and he served five months out of the 15 he was sentenced to in an Israeli prison in 2019. Since the documentary has come out Simon has denied the allegations on his YouTube page with his new girlfriend by his side.
"I was just a single guy that wanted to meet some girls on Tinder,” he said. "I'm not a Tinder swindler."
The documentary also sparked a lot of conversations on social media.
After dating me for a month and telling me he’s in danger and needs money, the tinder swindler would’ve been shocked when I said “that’s crazy, what you gonna do?”
— janet & brandy’s child 🇩🇲 (@LunaJay___) February 17, 2022
everyone saying “could never be me” about the Tinder Swindler as if we all haven’t date a broke man who is a pathological liar
— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 15, 2022
The last tweet resonates with many daters, but there are ways to protect yourself. Here are a few tips to help you avoid falling victim to a Tinder swindler (Hinge, IG DMs, IRL.)
Do Your Googles
We may not always do it, but it is best practice to Google the person you’re dating or getting to know. Also, check out their social media pages. While their dating profile may show them one way, their social media pages a lot of times will show you if the person you’re entertaining is actually real.
Don’t Overshare
When you first begin dating someone, you never want to share too much personal information about yourself especially if they share so little. Yes, you may be excited and nervous, which may cause you to overshare, but it’s best to tone it down and be aware. If they’re not willing to open up, there’s a huge possibility that they are hiding something.
Love Bombing
The term 'love bombing' has been brought up a lot lately, but what does it really mean? Love bombing is a manipulative tactic used to control you by 'bombing' you with overt affection, gifts, and compliments early on in dating to rush the relationship. The ultimate goal is to make you feel obligated to the love-bomber and for the love-bomber to be in control. It’s a major red flag, so if you experience it, run!
Too Good to Be True
A lot of the women in The Tinder Swindler doc shared how they were whisked away by Simon with private jets and luxury hotels at the beginning dating stage, which all seemed too good to be true. Nine times out of 10, if it feels too good to be true, it probably is. Always trust your instincts as they will never steer you wrong.
Question Frequent Canceling
If you and the person you’re entertaining always make plans to see each other but they keep on canceling, then hang it up. No matter how fine they are or how nice they seem to be, their frequent cancellations are a clear sign that they’re hiding something or they don’t value you in that way. Overall, it’s a no.
Don’t Lend Money
Last, but certainly not least. Don’t ever, ever, ever give money to someone you just met especially if you’ve never met them IRL. Just like Simon in The Tinder Swindler, people will come up with elaborate schemes just to trick others into giving them money. Don’t take out a loan, don’t let them use your credit card, debit card, or put anything in your name. If someone you’re dating starts asking you for money, block them.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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