Dating is hard. And I'm not saying that as an admission. I'm saying it as an absolute. When it comes to you and I, there's horror stories for days. But for celebs? You know the story: a celebrity is asked if they are dating anyone, and they all sing the same song: "I am too busy to date, I date my [insert job description here]," when really, we all know it's real out here and that they're struggling just like we are.
You see, usually with us common dating folk, we're dealing with projected generational traumas, a normalized overworked millennial culture, and so much more that I need pages and pages of writing space to discuss. But throw in fame, paparazzi, and millions of devoted fans, and things can get even more complicated. This made me wonder: what is dating like for celebrities? What do they experience while out here in the Wild Wild West and they're looking for a boo?
Well, Ari Lennox says online dating has caused men to no longer want to talk on the phone.
One of our faves, Ari Lennox recently, and candidly, opened up on the topic on her Instagram Live, by saying she prefers men over the age of 33 for a very common reason: she doesn't want to text all day.
"I want to talk on the phone, I want to get to know people. I was talking to this guy and I asked him, 'hey, why don't you call me?' And he was like, 'oh, it's not really my thing.' In my head I was thinking, 'oh, you're really not my thing.' Blocked."
"How are you getting to know me if we're not talking on the phone? It's just something about meeting people online, it's like you're desensitized to real life. When a guy is calling, that's so attractive. I love personality, good energy, consistency. We're getting to know each other. Like, dating is exhausting."
Jamie Foxx is over the scene that comes with dating in Hollywood.
He may look like a young whippersnapper, but Jamie Foxx is tiredddd of the chaos that comes with dating.
"It's tough out there. I am getting older but people think I am younger. I was at a club the other night and a group of girls shouted my name. I was like, 'Hey, what's up?' and they said, 'We go to school with your daughter!' You have to be so careful."
"When I was asked the other day by a 20-something girl how old I was, she looked at me as though 49 was a terminal disease!"
Aoki Lee Simmons says her last name often interferes with her having a love life.
Aoki Lee Simmons minds her business and stays to herself. So when she went on IG Live to discuss dating with her followers, she opened up about her struggles as well.
"I just can't date. Does that make sense? I can't be on Tinder without being concerned that someone is creepy or looking to get to know my family or be weird...but I'm also not famous enough to be dating famous people. So I just kind of sit at home, by myself. It's very sad. Yeah."
She then added:
"I was banned on Tinder for...drum roll, please...impersonating a celebrity, celebrities don't slide in my DM, and my sister has been dating the same guy for like five years so she doesn't help either."
And when a fan commented that she 'looks like her dad,' she responded, "Yeah, that's why I'm single. Thanks."
Tiffany Haddish was stood up by Drake, and swore off dating for a while.
Now we know our girl Tiffany Haddish is in a happy relationship with rapper Common, but prior to her current relationship, she was ghosted by Drake (who is ironically is a nemesis of Common). She shared her experience on Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk, where, after agreeing on a day for a date, Haddish texted the rapper to solidify plans, day-of.
"Then I'm like, 'So what time are you heading out? Are you sending a car, like where we going? And he's like, 'Oh man, my bad, family emergency. I'm in Canada right now.' And I was like, 'OK! OK!'"
"I could have made $100,000 today, but I was trying to see what that D do. But all right!"
And Keke Palmer prefers to date outside of the celebrity world.
Last year, Keke Palmer: opened up about online dating during the pandemic with Harper's BAZAAR. Although she is currently in a relationship with Darius Daulton, she still rings true to her words:
"I've always had the same philosophy when it comes to dating. Not that I wouldn't give someone a try. But trying to keep my private life outside of my work life, to me, it's easiest when you don't date someone with the same career. I think a lot about, like, Does this person really like me for me? And it's not just romantic relationships. It's friends too. That wavering, that's the most traumatic thing about fame."
And definitely don't expect for her to post much about her love life online:
"I don't really do relationship stuff online, mainly because I don't know how I would do it without looking, like, cheesy or something, you know? Yes, I'm a hundred percent authentic, but there is stuff that I do save for family and friends. But at the same time, when it comes to romance, [posting about it] doesn't really come naturally to me, so I feel like, why force it?"
Although I am, and forever will be, #teamlove, there's something refreshing about hearing how celebrities deal with the same struggles as we do from time to time. So for now, and just for now, we'll just accept that bae is close, but not close enough. In the meantime, we'll be waiting.
What have your dating experiences been like so far this year? Let's talk about it!
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Prince Williams/Wireimage
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
There’s nothing quite as humbling as navigating adulthood with no instruction manual. Since the turn of the decade, it seems like everything in our society that could go wrong has, inevitably, gone wrong. From the global pandemic, our crippling student debt problem, the loneliness crisis, layoffs, global warming, recession, and not to mention figuring out what to eat for dinner every night. This constant state of uncertainty has many of us wondering, when are the grown-ups coming to fix all of this?
But the catch is, we are the new grown-ups.
As if it happened without our permission, we became the new adults. We are the members of society who are paying taxes, having children, getting married, and keeping our communities afloat, one iced latte at a time. Still, there’s something about doing all these grown-up duties that feel unnaturally grown-up. Enter the #teenagegirlinher20s.
If there’s one hashtag to give you the state of the next cohort of adults, it’s this one. Of the videos that have garnered over 3.9M views, you’ll find a collection of users who are overwhelmed by life’s pressing existential responsibilities, clung to nostalgia, and reminiscent of the days when their mom and dad took care of their insurance plans.
no like i cant explain to her why i had to buy multiple tank air dupes from aritzia #teenagegirlinher20s #fyp
The concept of being a 20-something or 30-something teenager is linked to the sentiment of not feeling “grown up enough” to do grown-up things while feeling underprepared and even nihilistic about whether that preparation even matters.
It’s our generation’s version of when we ask our grandmothers how old they are and they simply reply with, “I still feel 45,” all while being every bit of 76 years old. In this, we share a warped concept of time while clinging to a desire for infantilization.
Granted, the pandemic did a number on our concept of time. Many of us who started the pandemic in our early or mid-20s missed out on three fundamental years of socialization, career development, and personal milestones that traditionally help to mark our growth.
Our time to figure out and plan our next steps through fumbling yet active participation was put on pause indefinitely and then resumed provisionally. This in turn has left many of us hanging in the balance of uncertainty as we try to make sense of the disconnect between our minds and bodies in this missing gap of time.
Because we’re all still figuring out what the ramifications of being locked away and frozen in time by a global pandemic will have on us as a society, there really is no “right” way of making up for lost time. Feeling unprepared for any new chapter of life is a natural rite of passage, pandemic or not. However, it’s important to not stay stuck in the last age or period of life that made sense to us because self-growth is the truest evidence of personal progress.
So whether you’re leaning on your inner child, teenager, or 20-something for guidance as you fill the gap between your real age and pandemic age, know that it’s okay to grieve the person you thought you would be and the milestones you thought you’d hit before you ever knew what a pandemic was. If there’s anything that the pandemic taught us, it’s that we have the power to reimagine a better world and life for ourselves. And if we tap into our inner teenager as a compass, we can piece together our next chapter with a fresh outlook.
Sure, we’ve lost a couple of years, but there are still some really amazing ones ahead.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Stephen Zeigler/Getty Images