With 2020 being…the way it has been, I'm pretty sure that you don't have any big out-of-the-house plans for New Year's Eve. I get that is kind of a bummer too. But girl, if you've got a man to ring the new year in with, you've got a party in your house. You just don't know it yet.
This piece? It's all about how to enjoy some really, really, REALLY good NYE sex. I'm talking about the kind that will make you never head out to a restaurant or club on December 31 again because—nothing can be more awesome than what's going on in your bedroom (or wherever you decide to do all of this stuff). Are you ready to get inspired to celebrate on a whole 'nother level?
1. Create a Foreplay List
Something that can be a sexually intriguing ice breaker is for you and your partner to individually put together a foreplay list on the eve of New Year's Eve. Literally sit down and think about 10 things that each of you sexually enjoy when it comes to the act of foreplay. Then share it with your partner before NYE officially rolls around. Mutually agree that the person who is able to recall the most things on the other's list, strictly by memory, over the course of the day, earns some sort of prize. The prize is totally up to the two of you. Maybe the "loser" prepares dinner. Perhaps the loser has to pamper the other for the rest of the day. Extra money from the loser could go into the sex jar (check out "5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar"). Whatever it is, it still needs to be something that will ultimately benefit the both of you in the long run. However, the purpose of this "game" is to remind you both that your separate foreplay wants and needs should be kept in the forefront of each other's minds. Starting with checking everything off of the list on New Year's Eve.
2. Commit to Some Outercourse, a Quickie and Intercourse
If you're really about making New Year's Eve a time to remember, who said that you had to wait until after the sun sets (which this year, feels like it happens right around noon, y'all)? If you're going to be off work and/or at home all day long, string all of the sexual activity out—kind of like you would a full course meal.
Start with some outercourse. What the heck is that? Back when I was in high school, the intense version of it was called dry humping. Long story short, it's any kind of sexual activity that doesn't involve any form of penetration (well, except for tongues going into mouths). It can be kissing, cuddling, giving each other a massage or yeah, rubbing on each other to the point of almost experiencing an orgasm…shoot, maybe even to the point of actually having one. Why do some people enjoy this? One, it's a great form of foreplay and two, it can build up all kinds of anticipation, so that once penetration—of any form—goes down, folks are more than just a little excited to oblige.
A quickie is cool if you wake up horny on NYE or you want to give each other a "preview" of what's to come later on. Plus, if you're both able to climax from having one, that can make intercourse later on almost like the 90s R&B songs talk about when they refer to having sex all night long (girrrl…).
And finally intercourse. You're grown. You know what to do. But if you're looking for a few hacks to set this mutha all the way off right this year, check out "15 Sex Hacks To Take Your Bedroom Action To The Next Level", "10 Hacks To Help You Climax More Consistently", "How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.", "Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream" and "What Is A Super Orgasm & How Can I Have One?".
3. Pile Up on Some Lube and Condoms (Ribbed Condoms, That Is)
The wetter, the better. There really is no other way to drive this particular point home than to say that. And the easiest way to make things wetter is—well first, drink more water and then—use some lubrication. While yes, the main purpose of lube is to make you and your partner more "slippery" so that intercourse is that much more comfortable and stimulating, don't underestimate the power that comes from placing it on other parts of each other's body's too. By dabbing some on the lobes of your ears, the back of your neck or the inside of your thighs, it can also help to intensify the desire for…more action. Your best bet is to go with a lubricant that is warming or tingly. Some brands that are right up the alley are listed here.
As far as condoms go, we all know that they help to prevent an undesired pregnancy or an STD. Folks who don't want either know that they need to use them. That said, though, even if you've been "going raw" with your partner for a while now, that doesn't mean you shouldn't bring a condom into the mix every once in a while; ribbed ones, to be specific. They have a way of making the friction that comes from intercourse way more pleasurable; especially if there's some lubricant on them. The best ribbed rubbers that are currently on the market can be found here.
4. Get a Stability Ball
What the heck is a stability ball? At the end of the day, it's basically the same thing as an exercise one. And why should you incorporate it into your sex life? Well, aside from it being able to help you to strengthen your core (I'm playing and serious at the same time), you have never experienced doggy style like you will once you've extended your body across a ball first. It can be a cool way to do cowgirl too. Not only does a stability ball bring a twist into classic sex positions, but it can always be a lot of fun as well. Think of it as playing a round of Twister, only the circles on the mat are real balls instead. And since laughter makes anything in life better (so long as you're laughing with one another and not at one another)…now do you see why you should make a Target run and pick one up real quick?
5. Cop a Vibrating Penis Ring Too
Are sex toys totally your thing? If so, something that's a pretty big sex trend right now are couples sex toys. Those are ones that both you and your partner can enjoy at the same time. On top of the list of faves is a vibrating penis ring. It's basically a ring that your partner puts on the shaft of his penis and, when it vibrates, you hop on so that it can stimulate your clitoris at the same time. I did a little investigating on this toy and folks have said that it was the best sex toy purchase that they have ever made. Just putting that out there. #wink
6. String Some Lights
Back in my sexually active days, I had a few partners who used to enjoy watching me perform fellatio on them. While I didn't mind that in the least, let me tell you what did get on my very last nerve—that flashlight that they would put in my face. UGH. That's why I'm such a fan of sex, including the right kind of lighting. During this time of year, a lighting technique that I really like are string lights. They are so romantic and have a way of providing a winter wonderland-like vibe. Target, Walmart, Lowes—these are just some of the stores that carry them. I also found some on Wayfair's site that I really like because you can string them from the ceiling to the floor and then come in the soft hue of blue. You can cop those specific ones here.
7. Dance Together. Naked.
Question. When's the last time that you and your partner danced together? If you can't remember, think back to some of your favorite rom-coms that had intimate dance scenes in them. Didn't they make you feel all warm 'n fuzzy inside? Actually, there is something to that.
There are marriage therapists who will literally "prescribe" that couples in trouble dance more because it's fun, it's a way to experience non-verbal communication and it's super sensual too. OK, but since we're talking about how to get some good-good going, why not turn on some of your favorite slow jams, take off all of your clothes and slow grind naked? It's like outercourse 2.0 because it's flirty, intense and the kind of edging that can help you and yours to physically and emotionally connect in a really sexy and arousing—all without saying a single word.
8. “Play Your Part”
Anyone who was able to survive a year like 2020, especially with their relationship intact, they deserve a round of stimulus checks (and then some)! And since New Year's Eve is a traditional time for toasting, definitely make sure that you and your partner toast each other. Although champagne is typically the signature drink for this particular occasion, if you want to try something new, how about playing your part? Believe it or not, Play Your Part is an alcoholic cocktail that is considered to be an aphrodisiac too, thanks to the chocolate (it contains compounds that elevate sexual arousal) and pomegranate (it increases testosterone levels by around 30 percent) liqueur. There is some strawberry puree and honey in the recipe to make things extra off the chain. If you want to test it out this year, the steps for making it are provided right here.
9. Serve Up a Condiments-Only Dessert
Oral sex. Be honest—can there be great sex without it? Whether you decide to have an elaborate NYE meal or just split a pizza, make sure to make room for dessert—and make sure that the dessert is the two of you. You don't need much. Just get yourself some sweet tasting condiments like chocolate syrup, caramel, honey, whipped cream and maybe some puree of a favorite fruit. Place these, first on each other's erogenous zones, then on your genitals, being sure to lick the marked spots off along the way. If this doesn't get you especially hot 'n bothered, I'm not sure what will, chile.
10. Gargle Some Cold Minty Mouthwash
Speaking of oral, a particular hack that I promise you is a real game-changer is making sure you've got some cold minty mouthwash in your mouth before performing fellatio. If you hate going down, it can make the experience much more pleasant (especially if your partner happens to be, what I call, a lava lamp; you can read more about those here). Yet even if you really enjoy giving head, you'll like it even more because the menthol in the mouthwash will give your partner a tingly sensation that is truly unmatched for you both. If the mouthwash is cold, the unexpected temperature will take the experience up even a few more notches. Whew-whee!
(Put your mouthwash in the freezer about 30 minutes before you plan on hooking your partner up.)
11. Wear Some Pearls (and/or a Necktie)
If you've got a pearl necklace somewhere in your house, blow your partner's mind by wrapping it around the shaft of his penis. Not tightly; just enough to provide a unique sensation as you rub your hands up and down the necklace. It can really go next-level if you apply some lube to his penis first. He won't see it coming (no pun intended). Speaking of around-the-house-make-shift-sex toys, it's a good idea to bring a necktie into the equation too. You can tie each other's wrists together with it and well—I'll let your imagination take it from there.
12. Try Some Paper Clips
It wasn't until I saw the movie 50 Shades of Grey that I even got the concept of how "clamps" actually work. And while it's personally a hard pass for me, if you'd like to explore what a nipple clamp would feel like but you're not ready to commit to actually purchasing some, paper clips are a cool and cheap alternative. Make sure they're metal, medium or large in size and that you put them in the freezer first. Then slide one onto your nipple (or his) and quickly pull it off. Report back if it stimulated you in any way. (I'm curious.)
13. Be His “Snow Angel”
On the eve of a new year, it only makes sense to introduce a new sex position into your repertoire, right? Personally, considering the time of year that NYE falls on, I thought that it would only be fitting to shout-out the snow angel sex position. It's basically like 69 except there's intercourse involved. Basically, while on your back, have your head facing your headboard and his facing the end of the bed while on top of you. Wrap your legs around his back and grab his butt to help him control how deeply he penetrates you. Since 70 percent of women have trouble achieving a vaginal orgasm without clitoral stimulation, this is one of the best ways to make that "goal" happen.
14. Offer Climax “Instructions”
It really is crazy, the kind of things that can remain in your head (and pop up outta the blue at times). Take the movie Strictly Business (Halle Berry, Tommy Davidson, Joseph C. Phillips) that came out in the very early 90s. Waymon (Joseph's character) was dating a woman, Diedre (played by Ann-Marie Johnson) who was annoying AF in bed. Why? Because she wasn't a dirty talker; she was a dictator—"Up! Down! Left! Right!" Awful. Anyway, this scene popped up in my head again because, when I say that a key to hot sex is to offer up climax instructions, I'm not talking about what Diedre's crazy ass was doing. What I mean is, the sounds that we make during sex (check out "Ever Wonder What The Sounds You Make During Sex Mean?"), along with the tone of our voice and the words that we say can be just as much of a turn-on as how we touch our partner.
And there is nothing like being your partner's "cheerleader" by encouraging him, not only to orgasm but telling him where and how you'd like him to do it. Do you want him to cum in you? Do you want him to slow down or speed up so that you can come together? I could keep going but I think you get my drift. There is something about hearing the word "cum", period, that incites arousal in a lot of us. Say it more this NYE. Watch what happens—and where—when you do.
15. Make a New Sex Resolution for the New Year
I can't help but to roll my eyes at married couples who only have the kind of sex that I just shared with you on "special occasions". Like really, what in the world? Isn't staying married enough of a reason to celebrate, on any given day of the week? I think a part of the challenge is holidays, birthdays and anniversaries give us the chance to plan in ways that a regular Thursday or Friday doesn't. So…make a sex plan. While you're in the bask of afterglow talk about the kind of sex you want to have more of in 2021. While I'm not big on resolutions, I will make an exception when it comes to sex because sex goals aren't made, nearly enough.
And to decide to make plans to have some hot, kinky, constant sex? How can that not make you excited about entering a whole new year?
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