Meet The xoTribe: Joce Blake, Writer
In Meet the xoNecole Tribe, readers are introduced to the members of the xoNecole team that keep the site up and running with their textured and varied stories and voices. In the monthly series, you get a more in-depth look of the person behind the pen, social media, the lens, or whatever they might contribute to the brand.
Joce Blake first set my soul ablaze when she made her presence known in our inbox with her writeup for the Women's March last January. But I truly saw the fire when she wrote her first style post for us. The way she could break down style while still talking to us like a sister-girl quickly became one of my favorite reads to pop into my inbox. Since, she's expanded to covering all things style, but also dabbling in beauty and human interest stories as well.
If you haven't met her yet, meet Joce Blake, xoNecole's Style Writer.
Joce Blake
Photos By: Noah Berg Photography @noahbergphotography
Where are you from?
I was born and raised in Memphis, TN. I consider myself a millennial southern belle; think Coretta Scott King meets Porsha Williams. I currently reside in Denver, CO.
How old are you?
I am 29 years old. I was born July 18, 1989 and I am the purest form of a Cancer. While some people call us emotional, I like to think I am emotionally intelligent.
What's your occupation?
So, I have a few jobs but most people don't know that I have a full-time job as a project coordinator at The University of Colorado. I also freelance for multiple platforms and even host a podcast from time to time. At xoNecole, I am a style and human interest writer. I enjoy writing trend reports and highlighting black fashion and beauty creatives.
Joce Blake
Photos By: Noah Berg Photography @noahbergphotography
Where did you go to school? And what was your major?
I graduated with a BA in Journalism from The University of Tennessee. Those four years were truly amazing because they helped me hone in on my writing skills. It even allowed me to study abroad in London, UK where I had an internship working under a freelancer who wrote for Vogue UK. My internship supervisor helped me learn how to marry my two loves - writing and fashion.
How and when did you start working with xoNecole.com?
I started writing for xoNecole in January 2017. I have admired Necole's light and hustle for years. I can recall sitting in lectures in college reading NecoleBitchie.com and I always said that I wanted to work for Necole in some capacity. It's so crazy because I had a vision board party on January 13, 2017 and I wrote xoNecole on my board. Four days later the dream was manifested because they were looking for writers and you best believe that I pitched myself.
Joce Blake
Photos By: Noah Berg Photography @noahbergphotography
When did your love affair with writing begin?
I remember like it was yesterday. I was in the 9th grade. I was sitting in my computer class and my teacher asked me if I was interested in writing for the school newspaper and yearbook. At that point, I wanted to go to Howard University to become an esteemed lawyer. I knew that I wanted to give a voice to the voiceless and in that moment I realized there were multiple ways to do that so I said yes. The love affair grew immensely when I spent a summer at Phillips Exeter Preparatory School and I found myself telling intriguing stories about people of color's experiences in a predominantly white space.
How do you practice self-care?
I practice self-care by writing, listening to music, going to church and pampering myself. Of all of those things, music and my spirituality are the most essential. Every morning I have a praise and worship session all by my lonesome. To me, there's something so powerful and beautiful about connecting with God through song.
Are you single?
Who's asking? *insert emoji eyes* Yes, I am single like single SINGLE. I am dating but it's so hard in 2019. Living in Denver, my chances of finding my Russell Wilson are exponentially low. (Please tell Ciara I need that prayer!)
Joce Blake at NYFW September 2018
Photo By: Ken Stancil Jr., (KenStancilJr.com), @KenStancilJr
What are your interests? Do you have any hobbies?
I love watching television! My friends constantly tease me because I keep up with all the latest shows and they don't understand how I do it with all of my side hustles. I also love all things fashion so I enjoy attending fashion shows, art exhibits and anything involving fashion.
What is your favorite book of all time? What's the last book you read?
My favorite book of all time has to be Ntozake Shange's For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf. I read it in high school to prepare for a play where I portrayed The Lady in Red. Even at a young age, I appreciated the beauty in all of the women's stories. The last book I read was Arian Simone's Fearless Faith + Hustle: 21 Day Devotional Journey. Necole gave it to me during the Pajamas and Lipstick Party and it was such a blessing. The book is full of inspiration, insight and scriptures made perfect for a girl boss.
Joce Blake at NYFW September 2018
Photo By: Vanessa Samuels @voyavanessa
What's your endgame? Why do you do what you do?
My endgame is to write for a fashion magazine like Vogue. Ever since I watched Carrie Bradshaw strut around the streets of New York City and then write an article for Vogue, I knew I wanted to be a black Carrie Bradshaw. I have always been obsessed with fashion and I have always wanted to be the thing that the world was missing. While representation has changed with amazing women like Lindsay Peoples Wagner, Elaine Welteroth and Kahlana Barfield, I still want to do it for the little black girls in Memphis who think that they aren't enough and can't leave Tennessee.
What is the most rewarding part of your job? What is the most challenging part?
The most rewarding part of my job as a style and beauty writer is when people write me to tell me they are inspired by my articles. I value being a unique voice on the internet because when I search for stylish women on Google, the prototype doesn't look like me. The search can be depressing when every best dressed list on major platforms consist of one token black woman. So for me to be a part of a platform that promotes positive and inspiring images of melanin women, I am forever grateful.
The most challenging part is curating new, effervescent content. Sometimes I fear that I am saying the same thing, the same way. More than anything, I want our readers to always feel like they leave the site with a meaningful gem whether it's learning about ways to keep their skin glowing or the hottest new trend.
Joce Blake and Lenique Smith at NYFW February 2019
Photo By: Ammar Thomas @manmeetsstyle
What advice do you have for other freelance writers?
I would encourage freelance writers to put yourself out there and know that your ideas matter. Sometimes I pitch ideas with so much doubt and then my editor loves the concept. In the past year, I have learned to have confidence in myself and what I bring to the table because my perspective is wildly unique. If you don't tell your story, who will.
How can we keep up with you on social media?
You can keep up with me on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @sarajessicabee.
Keep up with the other members of our Tribe here.
Exclusive: Kelly Rowland Dishes On The Key To A Healthy Marriage And Her Skincare "Game-Changers"
Kelly Rowland is like a bottle of the Earth’s finest wine; she only gets better with time. Even in her early forties, the Destiny’s Child member and singer has somehow found a way to age backwards, with a level of grace and class that we could only dream of. And she does so while juggling multiple hats and roles at once. In addition to giving us hits like “Motivation,” the multi-hyphenate is also a wife, actress, executive producer, and, her greatest role of all, a mother.
Always proudly doting on her two sons, Titan and Noah, Rowland shares how teaming up with WaterWipes for their Hallowclean campaign and kickoff event in New York City on October 21 was an easy choice for her—as the brand is one that she keeps stocked regularly.
“WaterWipes has been in my household for I don’t know how long. We don’t just use them for Noah; I keep them in the car and my makeup bag, too,” Rowland shares in an exclusive interview with xoNecole. “I also like the fact that they are natural. I’ll definitely have them in my fanny pack for trick-or-treating. This is Noah’s second Halloween, and I know he’s going to be excited and digging in his pail to try the different candy, and his little fingers will be messy. He’s going to want to get dirty. So, I love that WaterWipes is putting up ten Hallowclean stations across the country for parents to use; it’s such a great idea. I just love Halloween, and I really love Halloween with my kids, so I thought this campaign was a really great idea.”
Kelly Rowland and son Noah at the WaterWipes Hallowclean Machine in Brooklyn, NY.
Photo courtesy of WaterWipes.
She and her youngest son, Noah, attended the event, where the two enjoyed a day of family-friendly activities while he sported the most adorable astronaut costume. But the Spooky Szn fun doesn’t stop there for the Merry Liddle Christmas actress and executive producer.
We recently caught up with Kelly Rowland over Zoom to learn more about her Halloween (and holiday) plans, her keys to a healthy marriage, and she even dropped her go-to cold-weather skin routine—finally.
xoNecole: What are your family’s upcoming trick-or-treat plans? Will you do a fun group costume, or is everyone going to do their own thing this year?
Kelly Rowland: I’m preparing for tour, so I’ve been in rehearsals and pre-production. And my husband's schedule has picked up, too. But the kids are going trick-or-treating; we usually go with people we know, so mommy and daddy will definitely be home to take them. We’re actually letting the kids dress us up this year, which means my costume will be a complete surprise to me. I told Noah he could paint my face or even go to the costume store and pick something out—it’s literally up to them. So, I don’t know what that will be. And, right after, I’ll be back to rehearsals.
xoN: Speaking of holidays, what do you look forward to most during the season?
KR: We love having people over, especially during the holidays. It looks like we will be home this year—thank God— just enjoying each other and spending quality time together. I like to decorate the house and go completely ham; it always looks like Christmas threw up in my house. From the stairwells to the exterior of the house and the lights—everything. We go so crazy. I also love the smells, it’s one of my greatest memories with my mom, God rest her soul. So I love to play all of that up.
I like to bake something every day, I like to make sure there is something for the kids to do or make each day, we watch Christmas movies, and we even do a wine tasting sometimes. It’s just all really sweet and cozy.
Kelly Rowland and son Noah at the WaterWipes Hallowclean Machine in Brooklyn, NY.
Photo courtesy of WaterWipes.
xoN: We love that family is so important to you, and it always shows in your posts, especially those with your husband. What would you say has been that “key” to a healthy marriage as partners and spouses for you two?
KR: I would say, each of us doing the self-work. I have not seen marriages last long in my lifetime. I haven’t been given the tools to “make it last forever.” We just try to do the work on ourselves and not sweat the small stuff.
Communication is key for us, too. We communicate everything. Whether I’m upset or I’m not sure about something, I communicate it. I also just like being around him, he’s fun. He’s a really great person and makes me laugh. We can literally sit together and watch a game and not say anything. We understand what true intimacy is, and now we’re almost ten years into our marriage.
xoN: Now, Kelly, we have to ask. Skincare. What is your cold-weather routine and the products you’re reaching for as temperatures drop?
KR: Right now, I’m all about moisture. I will wash my face morning and night, I do not skip. I’m obsessed with this 111SKIN toner. It smells good, but it also feels good on my skin. There’s also this product from Vanessa Lee of The Things We Do. They are these coconut eye patches with these little beads. I place them under my eyes and around the corners of my mouth—talk about a game changer. I like to put them on at night and then rub in the extra serum all over my face. Between that and this lactic acid by Shani Darden, they are both game-changers for me this season.
xoN: So, since you’ve found the key to aging backwards, should we be on the lookout for the Kelly Rowland skincare line anytime soon?
KR: Honestly, that market is so saturated. I wanted to do it a while back, but I have to really think about what I want to bring to the marketplace to really impact culture. It’s not just about a product for me. I love the way Selena Gomez has created a community. I want to be able to create a community as well. When it’s not just about skincare, it turns into a space for people to be their most authentic selves. And that’s what I love.
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Feature image by Natasha Campos/Getty Images for Tres Generaciones
'Bachelorette' Charity Lawson Details Her Journey To Finding Love After Leaving A Toxic Relationship
There’s a lot of power in letting go, especially if it means removing ourselves from toxic relationships that hold us back from our higher selves. And if there’s one person that understands the beauty of surrendering to the process, it’s The Bachelorette star, Charity Lawson.
In August, millions watched as Lawson embarked on her journey to finding love as the second Black Bacheloretteon the ABC dating show. Now, the 27-year-old has taken her talents to the dance floor on season 32 of Dancing with the Stars.
The reality TV star spoke withPEOPLE during a post-show interview to discuss a previous relationship that narrowed her vision of the future, causing her to believe that the possibilities in life were limited. "I did not, I mean, I envision a future for myself, but I think my scope was very limited,” Lawson shared about her last relationship.
Having the right people in your corner who can encourage personal growth in your life is essential to feeling supported on your journey, without it, some may be left feeling confined or even stuck, like in Lawson’s case. “I think I didn't really have a full picture of what I thought could be possible for my life — which is sad to say — but it's like when you're not in a relationship that really pushes you to blossom or just even the people around you in general, friends, whoever that may be, it's like you become almost like in this box.”
Lawson revealed that she left a toxic relationship marked by infidelity, which despite her best efforts to salvage, ultimately took an emotional toll on her self-esteem. "Before that, I left a really toxic relationship," she shared. "There was a lot of infidelity and I kept overextending myself to make things work... being in the trenches so lost and not knowing how to get out, I wasn't really proud of who I was."
Luckily, Lawson has since found love and companionship in her new fiancé, Dotun Olubeko, whom she became engaged to during The Bachelorette season finale.
Now that the two are “happily engaged,” she believes that going through the difficult experiences of her past relationship was necessary for her personal growth and transformation. "It took me going through that unfortunately to become the version of who I am today," she reflects. "Sometimes you need to go through the worst things in life to get to the best place and this dance needs to show that painful journey."
“And so now that I'm where I'm at and I went through so much in a short amount of time, I am a much better person. I'm more vibrant. I really do feel like I'm exactly where I need to be," she says.
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Featured image by Arturo Holmes/Getty Images FOR ESSENCE