Kelly Rowland On Being A 'Woman's Woman' And Surrendering To Her God-Given Gifts
I think we’ve all imagined what it would be like to have Kelly Rowland as a friend. Her warm, big-sister energy has a way of making us feel like we’ve known her all our life, even though we’ve only scratched the surface of her depth. Fortunately for us, a new interview has given us new insight into the Grammy award-winning singer’s upbringing and how it shaped her perspective on sisterhood, community, and living out her dreams.
On Tuesday, Kelly appeared on the season 3 premiere episode of Kerry Washington’s Street You Grew Up Onto series to discuss her upbringing as a child and the maternal figures that shaped her outlook on forming sisterly bonds.
The Power of Sisterhood | Kelly Rowland on Street You Grew Up On
During the conversation, Kerry points out that when she thinks of Kelly, she thinks of someone who “really embraced your sisters,” adding that Kelly is a “woman’s woman” in her eyes.
Kelly shares that her knack for connection is one that’s deeply influenced by the presence of her mother and aunties growing up, which has helped her to dig deep with her friends.
“When I’m in a friendship and it just feels surface, I ask why,” the former Destiny’s Child singer says. “I’ll just say, ‘You’ve been distant, why are you distant? Are you okay? Do you need to talk?’”
She adds, “And I’ll say, ‘Maybe that’s what you needed this time, and I respect that, I understand that, then I’ll move back. But I’m concerned.’”
All throughout Kelly's life, the presence of her female relatives has felt spiritual. So much so that she reflects on a divine encounter that she experienced with her paternal grandmother, who sang for Lena Horne and Count Basie, that confirmed her purpose.
“One day — I can’t remember if I was warming up or something — and I could feel every part of this woman,” she recalls. “And I felt like she was saying, ‘I’m living through you,’ like ‘I’m living my dream through you.’ And I was just like, well, have at it.”
The “outer body” experience shifted Kelly's perception of her talents, allowing her to fully embrace her gift of singing and surrender. “I stopped second-guessing myself. I had to stop second-guessing myself — I was like, just roll with it.”
While Kelly has been a beacon light to many Black girls through her music and — persona, she takes time to empower the little Black girl inside of her who had the dream of becoming a star and went for it.
“I would say, continue to dream big, blow your mind with your dreams, like let them scare you, and run to them,” she concludes.
And we’ll be the first to say, we love the woman Kelly’s become.
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Here Are 8 Supplements That Can Greatly Improve Your Vaginal Health
I grew up in a house that was full of herbal teas and supplements. That’s why, whenever I read an article that poses some sort of skepticism towards either one of them, I roll my eyes in the most exaggerated way possible. And when it comes to supplements, specifically — y’all, don’t get me started on how I think it is very interesting that pharma gets pushed down our throats damn near every hour on the hour (with some of the most extreme side effects, might I add), oh, but let someone take something that is natural and all of a sudden, “We should be careful.”
Whatever. Supplements (and teas) have served me well — including when it comes to maintaining my vaginal health and so, as long as I continue to learn about the types of vitamins, minerals, and herbs that will do your body good, I will write about them.
Today, it’s about a mixture of nutrients that you’ve heard of and ones that you probably didn’t even know existed. The cool thing about this list is whether you’re looking for an all-natural remedy for yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis or how to elevate your sex drive — these eight supplements can do that and so much more.
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1. Vitamin B-Complex
If you’re borderline anemic, consistently low on energy, more stressed out than you would like, trying to keep your gut in good condition, and/or you’re looking for a non-medicated way to reduce the discomfort of migraines, B-complex can actually help you out with all of this. And since we’re focusing on how it helps us as women, it should also go on record that B-complex can make PMS symptoms a lot more bearable. Also, it’s definitely something that you should get more into your system if you plan on getting pregnant.
The reason why this vitamin leads the pack as far as vaginal health goes is that it can help to prevent vaginal dryness as well as speed up the healing process of vulvovaginal candidiasis, which is a type of yeast infection. So, if B-complex isn’t in your daily supplement regimen, maybe this will inspire you to change your mind.
2. Asparagus Racemosus
Asparagus racemosus, which is also known as shatavari, is an herb that can support vaginal health. On so many levels, this isa “woman’s herb” because almost all of its health benefits are tied to our bodies including the fact that it can help balance your hormones, reduce menopause-related symptoms, and help new moms to produce breastmilk. Some other cool things about Asparagus racemosus are it can reduce anxiety, lower blood sugar levels, and even help to suppress a stubborn cough.
Your vagina will appreciatethis herb because if hormonal imbalances are directly affecting your libido in a not-so-positive way, and you don’t want to take a prescribed medication to bring some relief, this may be the alternative that can give you the results that you’ve been looking for.
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3. Calendula
Earlier this year, when I penned, “Beauty In Bloom: 12 Flowers That Will Make Your Hair And Skin Radiant,” one of the flowers that I shouted out was calendula. That’s because it contains properties that help to treat acne and reduce eczema. Beyond that, though, calendula is bomb because it is full of antioxidants, can bring relief to muscle fatigue, strengthens your heart, improves oral health, and it can even bring relief to your nipples if they are sore due to breastfeeding.
What else can this herb do? Well, “she” will like it because it can also help to regulate your period and keep certain strains of yeast in check, and it has even been proven to reduce the symptoms that are associated with bacterial vaginosis (BV).
4. Fish Oil
If you want to get some omega-3s into your system, taking a fish oil supplement is one of the best ways to do it. In fact, as much as 30 percent of fish oil is made up of not only those fatty acids but also vitamins A and D. And with all of this working together, fish oil can help you to have lower cholesterol, make you feel less depressed, protect your eyes, reduce bodily inflammation, give you healthier skin and bones and even slow down aging as far as your brain is concerned.
Adding to all of this, fish oil is good for your vagina’s overall health and well-being because it not only helps to hydrate you from the inside out but, since it has a reputation for raising estrogen levels in your system, those two things can work together to prevent vaginal dryness.
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5. Motherwort
Traditional Chinese medicine is actually a really big fan ofmotherwort. That’s because it can do things like slow down the development of heart disease, treat anxiety, and for new mothers, reduce the amount of postpartum bleeding that they may experience.Other benefits of this herb include being able to fight off free radicals, containing properties that can help prevent bacterial infections, and that it’s an all-natural sedative if you’re looking for a (temporary) sleep remedy.
When it comes to vaginal health, specifically, since motherwort both regulates hormones and increases blood circulation, if more or intensified orgasms are what you’re after, taking this might be just what you need.
6. Sage
If you like to season your food with (fresh) sage, you are doing more for your health than you might realize. I say that because sage is an herb that is a pretty good source of vitamin K and calcium, as well as antioxidants. Plus, sage can help you to maintain your memory and keep your cholesterol levels where they should be, and it can help to stop the appearance of wrinkles before they even start.
Also, since sage actually mimics the effects of estrogen in your system, it can help to reduce the intensity of menopause-related symptoms like hot flashes, excessive sweating, and vaginal dryness. Not only that but if sage happens to be white, it can help to bring relief to menstrual cramps, too.
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7. Yashtimadhu
So, here’s something that you may not have known until today: Yashtimadhu is the Sanskrit name of the herb that’s more commonly known as licorice. In the Ayurvedic world, it’s used for things like treating ulcers, bringing relief to asthma, and bronchitis, reducing fine lines and wrinkles, strengthening your liver, and helping to keep you at a healthy weight. Yep, apparently, Yashtimadhu is where it’s at.
It’s actually due to the phytoestrogenic properties in Yashtimadhu that make it possible for you to take it and have less menstrual cramps, decreased menopause-related symptoms, and it can help to reduce vaginal dryness too. Plus, if it’s used in cream form, this herb can also help to reduce vaginal atrophy if you happen to be post-menopausal.
8. Zinc
I recently read that somewhere around two billion people are deficient when it comes to the mineral zinc. That’s super unfortunate because it’s what we all need when it comes to keeping our immune system strong, helping to suppress oxidative stress, decreasing bodily inflammation, and even keeping breakouts at bay. Personally, one of my favorite things about zinc is it can help with achieving strong and healthy hair (as well as preventing hair loss).
Your vagina likes zinc too. That’s because it also helps to prevent yeast infections and can help to slow down vaginal aging (as far as your vaginal tissues are concerned; check out “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.” and “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth”) and some studies even reveal that zinc is effective as it relates to increasing sexual desire and arousal.
So, just like I started with vitamin B-complex and I’m now ending with the mineral zinc, if you add nothing else into your diet, please make sure that it’s “B” and “Z.” Your vagina will certainly appreciate it. And you know what? The rest of your body will, too.
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