
Recently, while having a conversation with a 50-something-year-old friend of mine, she brought up something that somewhat inspired me to write this piece. As we were discussing subtle (and not-so-subtle) changes that we were noticing about our bodies, because she knows that I am pretty much a research addict, she asked me (almost in a blaming tone of voice), "So, how come you didn't tell me that as we get older, we lose our body hair? I haven't needed to shave my legs in a couple of months now and…" Right when "and" came out, she pointed down to her vaginal area and opened her mouth into a wide "o" position.
Yes, ladies, it is indeed true. As we go through menopause, keeping our bikini line clean becomes less and less of an issue or necessity. In fact, as we age and experience different things in life, our vaginas can go through all sorts of changes. Birth control and menopause tend to produce less lubrication. Pregnancy can cause vericose veins on our vulva. Rises and dips and weight (along with the loss of collagen over time) can result in the vulva (the outer part of our vagina) sagging. Constant shaving can alter the pigment and texture of our vulva too.
Believe you me, I'm not sharing all of this with you to totally stress you out. I'm sharing it because, all of these facts of life, are a blaring reminder that our vagina (and vulva) deserve just as much TLC as the rest of our body does. I also brought up this info because, as much as we may not want to think about it, vaginas age like the rest of us does. That's the "bad" news. The good news is there are all sorts of things that you can do, starting today, that will make your vagina both look and feel like a fountain of youth. Yes, literally.
1. Stay Hydrated
They say that 75 percent of Americans are not only dehydrated but chronically dehydrated. Considering that we're made up of about 60-65 percent water, it's easy to see why dehydration causes all sorts of health issues. Not only does not having enough water make you thirsty, it can cause toxins to build up in your system, affect your mood, mess with your attention span and can even cause your brain to become depleted of the fluid that it needs. Another problem with dehydration is it can cause your blood to become more concentrated which can do a real number on your kidneys.
As far as your vagina is concerned, the more water you have, the healthier your discharge will be, the more lubrication your body will be able to produce and, the more moisturized and yes, youthful-looking your vulva will appear.
So, what are you waiting for? Drink up!
2. Swap Out Your Office Chair for a Fitness Ball
Something that could be making your vagina "lazy" is that office chair of yours. Before getting into why I say that, although not all scientists agree with the saying "sitting is the new smoking", what they and medical professionals can get on one page about is constant sitting without taking breaks isn't good for your health. For this reason alone, it's a good idea to get up every 30 minutes or so to stand at your desk or walk around the office for a couple of minutes, just to get your legs moving and your heart rate up a bit.
Another smart thing to do is ask your boss if they are cool with you bringing a fitness ball to sit on. Even if you don't sit on it all day long, a good 30 minutes or so will help to strengthen your core, improve your posture and also give your vagina a bit of a workout, without you even noticing.
3. Cycle Differently
It might sound weird, but if you like to ride your bicycle a lot or you take a regular spin class, while it's doing wonders for your heart, it is actually working against your vagina; at least it is if your bike's seat doesn't have enough cushion on it.
A hard seat not only causes extra friction and can cut off your blood's circulation down there, it can stretch your labia majora and labia minora (your vulva's inner and outer lips) over time too.
So yeah, it's important to look for a seat that has as much cushion as possible, and to position your handlebars up higher than your bike's seat. That will result in less pressure being placed on your body's lower region.
4. Try Some Salvia Sclarea and Ghee Butter
What the heck is Salvia sclarea? It's basically another word for clary sage. If you get clary sage in the form of an essential oil, it contains antibacterial properties that can help to fight off vaginal infections. It's also the type of oil that balances hormones, increases blood circulation (which means intensified orgasms), decreases menstrual cramp pain, reduces hot flashes and improves the appearance of your vulva skin overall. If you add a few drops of it to some ghee butter, the fatty acids in the ghee will deeply penetrate your skin, making this the ultimate anti-aging combo. Even for your va-jay-jay.
5. Or Apply a Little Vulva Lipstick
I know, right? Who woulda ever thought that there was such a thing as vulva lipstick, but indeed there is! Although I never really thought about it until I read what the manufacturers said, it is true that sometimes my vulva lips look and feel a bit dryer than other times. And dry skin? It always looks older than it should.
If you can relate and you want to try something that's a little outside of the box, a company named VMagic makes a literal vulva lipstick that is 100 percent organic. It comes in a lipstick tube and everything. It definitely serves as my "something new" for the day. How about you?
6. Do More Than Kegels
You've probably read at least a dozen articles before that talk about how kegels can help to strengthen your pelvic floor which can also weaken as we age. A strong "floor" can prevent incontinence and also keep orgasms going strong. But it's not only kegels that will keep your vagina in good shape. Investing in a pair of Ben Wa balls (or a Yoni egg or vaginal cone) and/or doing squats and vertical scissors (also known as scissor lifts) are also ways to give your vaginal area the total workout that it needs.
7. Dye “Her” Hair
As far as my vagina (the "inner tube" that leads to my uterus) and vulva (the outer part of my vagina) go, I think what I've had to adjust to the most are the grey hairs that are popping up more and more, with every passing year. I keep things trimmed pretty low down there, so dyeing it hasn't been something that I've felt the need to do. But if you've also got some greys and you (and/or your man) like your hair to be on the fuller side, coloring it is an option. While I wouldn't recommend you going the traditional box brand route, there is a dye called Black (or Brown) Betty that is specifically designed to color your pubic hair. It's got pretty good customer reviews too so, hey, it's worth a shot.
8. Do the "Cowgirl Position" (Be on Top) More
They say that if you want your breasts to naturally remain firmer for longer, you should sleep on your stomach as little as possible. The reason why is doing that can stretch your breast tissue and that can lead to mild drooping over time. I thought about that when I also discovered that while the missionary position is great on so many levels, it's not always the kindest to your lower lady parts. Constantly being on your back during sex can result in your vaginal walls getting stretched out.
You can counteract that by riding cowgirl more often. It will give you more hip control and, it's actually the kind of sex position that will make it easier to do your kegels while you're having intercourse; something that both of you will benefit from, no doubt!
9. Get Your Nutrients In
A few weeks ago, I wrote an article on here about some of the foods that will make your vagina especially happy. But even if you don't prefer the ones on the list, it is important to get in lots of Vitamin C (it's loaded with antioxidants); Vitamin E (it's great for your libido); some fresh rosemary (it fights bacteria and infections); probiotics (it keeps your digestive tract and vaginal health on track) and ginger (it contains potent anti-inflammatory properties).
There's no way around the fact that a healthy diet is another key to keeping your vagina looking, smelling and even tasting good. Don't skimp on this.
10. Climax. Often.
All you have to do is click on the "love" and then "sex" portion of our site to know that there is no way that I could pen a piece on how to keep your vagina young without mentioning that orgasms will always work in your favor. Whether you get them via penetration or clitoral stimulation, every time that you climax, blood rushes to your vagina which gives its tissue the nutrients that it needs. Plus, orgasms are one of the most effective (and enjoyable) ways to develop the muscles in your vaginal area too.
So, if you want your vagina to be a fountain of youth—by the way, I say "fountain" because your lubrication is proven to be the ultimate probiotic for your partner—for years to come, have sex and a lot of it! "She"—and all of the rest of you for that matter—will be oh so grateful that you did.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina
10 Things Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often
Foods That Keep Your Vagina Smelling Right (And The Ones That Don't)
Feature image by Getty Images
Originally published August 14, 2019
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
If there is one thing that I am going to do, it’s buy myself some scented soy candles. And, as I was looking at a display of them in a TJ Maxx store a couple of weekends ago, I found myself wondering just who decided which scents were considered to be “holiday” ones. The origin stories are actually pretty layered, so, for now, I’ll just share a few of ‘em.
I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that pine comes from the smell of fresh Christmas trees; however, scents like cloves, oranges, and cinnamon are attributed to two things: being natural ways to get well during the cold and flu season, and also being flavors that are used in many traditional holiday meals.
Meanwhile, frankincense and myrrh originate from the Middle East and Africa (you know, like the Bible does — some folks need to be reminded of that—eh hem — Trumpers) and ginger? It too helps with indigestion (which can definitely creep up at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables); plus, it’s a key ingredient for ginger snaps and gingerbread houses. So, as you can see, holiday-themed scents have a rhyme and reason to them.
Tying this all in together — several years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry ‘Christmas Sex’?” Well, in the spirit of revisiting some of that content, with a bit of a twist, I decided to broach some traditional holiday scents from the perspective of which ones will do your libido a ton of good from now through New Year’s Eve (check out “Make This Your Best NYE. For Sex. EVER.”).
Are you ready to check some of them out, so that, whether it’s via a candle, a diffuser, some essential oil, or some DIY body cream (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”), you can bring some extra festive ambiance into your own boudoir? Excellent.
1. Vanilla

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When it comes to holiday desserts, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find recipes that don’t include vanilla — and that alone explains why it is considered to be a traditional holiday scent. As far as your libido goes, vanilla is absolutely considered to be an aphrodisiac — partly because its sweet scent is considered to be very sensual. Some studies even reveal that vanillin (the active ingredient in vanilla) is able to increase sexual arousal and improve erectile dysfunction in men. So, if you adore the smell, here is more incentive to use it.
2. Frankincense

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Although, typically, when people think about frankincense (and myrrh), it’s in the context of the gifts that the wise men brought Christ after he was born; it’s a part of the biblical Christmas story. However, frankincense goes much deeper than that. Sexually, since it has an earthy and spicy scent, some people like to use it to meditate (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”). Also, since it has the ability to put you in a better mood, soothe and soften your skin and maintain your oral health — with the help of frankincense, every touch and kiss can be that much…sexier.
3. Cinnamon

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I already gave cinnamon a shout-out in the intro. Personally, I’ve been a fan of it, in the sex department, for a long time now (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”). When it’s in oil form, it can be very sweet to the taste while sending a warm sensation throughout the body — which is why the giver and receiver of oral sex can benefit from its usage. Beyond that, cinnamon helps to increase blood flow to your genital region, elevate sexual desire and, some studies say that it can even help improve fertility. Beautiful.
4. Peppermint

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If there’s a signature candy for the holiday season, it’s probably a candy cane — which automatically puts peppermint in the running for being an official holiday scent. Pretty much, in any form, it’s got your sex life’s back because it’s hailed as being a sexual stimulant; in part, because its smell is so invigorating. Plus, it helps to (eh hem) ease headaches, it gives you more energy and it can definitely help to freshen your breath. Also, that minty sensation? The same thing that I said about cinnamon can apply to peppermint too (if you catch my drift).
5. Ginger

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Whether it’s in a meal or in your bedroom, ginger is going to produce results that are hella spicy. On the sex tip, science has praised ginger for being able to increase sexual arousal, improve blood circulation (which intensifies orgasms) and strengthen fertility for many years. Scent-wise, I find it to be one that both men and women enjoy because it is both woodsy and sweet. So, if you’ve got some massage oil in mind, adding some ginger is a way to please you both.
6. Pomegranate

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September through December is the time of year when pomegranates are considered to be in season. And, as someone who is a Rosh Hashanah observer, I have a personal adoration for them because I am aware of the various things that they symbolize in Hebrew culture including the fact that they are a fruit that represents love and fertility. So yeah, they would absolutely be an aphrodisiac — one that is perfect for this time of the year. While consuming it helps to boost testosterone levels in both men and women, the floral bittersweet smell that it produces can help to reduce stress while promoting relaxation (like most floral scents do) — and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is to climax.
7. Nutmeg

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Another signature seasoning during the holiday season is nutmeg. It’s perfect in Thanksgiving sweet potato (or pumpkin) pie and Christmas morning French toast. And yes, it can also make your sex life better. If you consume it, it can intensify your libido and, overall, its warm-meets-spicy-meets-sweet smell is so inviting that it is considered to be a pretty seductive scent.
8. Cloves

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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — if you’ve got a toothache, put some clove oil on that bad boy and send me a Christmas present for putting you on game. Aside from that, as I round all of this out, cloves are another holiday scent that can do wonders for your sex life. For men, it has the ability to significantly increase sexual arousal and improve stamina and endurance. For men and women alike, it also has a reputation for strengthening sexual desire. And for women solely? Well, if you want an all-natural way to increase natural lubrication down below — the scent and and feel (in DILUTED oil form) can make that happen. It can make the holidays especially special…if you know what I mean.
Ah yes — the atmosphere of the holidays and what it can do.
Take it all in! Scent ‘n whatever stimulating that comes with it! #wink
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