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I Tried A Vagina Personal Training Device And I Am Having The Best Orgasms
For the second time this week, my husband and I walked out of the bedroom celebrating like we just received a huge income tax return.
As of late, our sex life has been insane, and we owe this newfound feeling to a pod-shaped product that I've been using to help improve my kegel exercises. It's called Elvie, and thanks to this new vagina personal training gadget, I've been having the most explosive orgasms ever. In Life.
They were better than my wedding night orgasms.
They were 10 times better than the one orgasm I gave myself when Tyrese sang "Stairway To Heaven" at the 2009 BET Awards honoring The O'Jays.
I first heard about Elvie after reading an article on Forbes about women's wearable tech toys. After reading so many positive reviews about it, I decided to give Elvie a try. I'm ending the year with trying to enhance my overall health, as well as planning for another child, so I could easily see my doctor being happy about me improving my pelvic floor muscles.
Before I confirmed my order, I waited for about a week to make sure that I really wanted to go through with it. In that time frame, I incorporated more kegels during my regular exercise routine for free-ninety-nine. After doing some research, it dawned on me that I could possibly be doing my kegels incorrectly. If I have a gadget that tracks my kegel exercises, this is an investment that my doctor would probably appreciate. The app tracks how strong your muscles are, and I could show her my results during my Well Woman exams, and she's always happy to incorporate those things in my medical record.
I confirmed my order, and waited for my package to arrive. As soon as it came across my doorstep, I regretted ordering it. I actually waited about three hours before opening the package.
You can't return the product if it doesn't work (obviously because you put it in your vagina). Knowing this made me feel a sense of buyers remorse. I started to feel a little better about it once I realized that Elvie must be a superior gadget if the company doesn't have a return policy. Plus, the company will replace your unit if it is broken.
Lawd have mercy, I'm so glad that I was right! I came out of the bedroom this morning cheering for my husband like his name was Hercules. My body was rocked, and my boots were knocked!
Elvie makes kegel exercises more fun than mindlessly tightening your cha-cha muscles to a strip club anthem in your chair. It's an egg shaped pod that uses sensors to track your muscle movement while you do your kegel exercises. The pod is made of medical grade, waterproof silicon, and could easily fit in the palm of your hand.
In case you are unaware, kegel exercises are the rhythmic clenching an unclenching of the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles, which holds your pelvic organs in place and controls urine flow. But
according to Cosmo, a strong set of PC muscles can also improve your orgasms.
They're the muscles responsible for the contractions you feel during climax. Though Kegel exercises don't actually tighten your vagina, they tone and strengthen your vaginal muscles, boosting your arousal. They also cause a tighter grip during intercourse and more intense contractions during orgasm because more blood gets sent to your below-the-belt region.
Since I've been married, I've had great sex, and amazing orgasms with my husband. But I never realized that it could be better than what it already was. Here I thought that I reached the zenith of my married sex life, and I was wrong. Boy am I so happy to be wrong.
This little tech toy packs one hell of a punch, and it's great for women who feel "loose" in their nether regions after giving birth, pregnant women, or a any woman who just wants a good "coochie snapback." Like one writer says, Elvie is kind of like a Fit Bit for your vagina.
This is how it works: while you exercise your PC muscles, the sensors in your Elvie are relayed via Bluetooth to your smartphone, and generates an LV score. The stronger the kegels, the higher the score.
You insert the pod into your vagina, and do your kegel exercises while the gem tracks your progress on your smartphone.
Elvie is priced at $199, and trust me when I tell you that this award-winning device is worth every cent. You'll never look at kegel exercises the same way again. Here's why.
1. THE PACKAGING IS AMAZING
When I finally cracked open my parcel box, I was immediately impressed with the cute, mint green packaging. Inside, I found a plastic tube with the pod inside. After using it for several weeks, I realized that the plastic tube that holds your Elvie is amazing by itself. I can throw it in my purse, and use it when I want to do my kegal exercises outside of my home.
The plastic tubing is important, because you use it to charge your Elvie with a USB cord when your power is low.
The hole at the end of the "Elvie" logo in the photo above is how you charge your device.
2. IT'S VERY EASY TO USE
After I downloaded the app from the App Store, I filled out a short profile and began my exercises. I inserted the pod in my vagina (with the tail hanging out), and started squeezing the ball using only my pelvic muscles to move the gem. Each training session starts this way in order to ensure that your Elvie is properly connected to your smartphone. If the gem moves, you're good to begin training.
As you squeeze the pod, a gem appears again on your smartphone screen, which is reflective of how hard you are squeezing in real time. The object is to keep the gem above the line, and as you can see, my muscles are pretty weak in that region.
As your PC muscles get stronger, you advance from beginner exercises to intermediate or advanced levels of the "game." These exercises are also great for your lower tummy and back. Since I've started running again, I've noticed that I've been experiencing lower back pain, and Elvie has been a great help in correcting that.
If you're wondering how often you should use it, I stuck with my physician's orders. Doctors suggest that women do at least three sets of 10 kegel exercises three times per day for about five minutes. All women should do kegels, including pregnant women. The American Pregnancy Association suggests that pregnant women do kegels to help control their muscles during labor and delivery. Studies show that pregnant women who perform kegel exercises have easier child births.
To be clear, while the manufacturers of Elvie suggests that pregnant women use the product, they recommend that they use it during their second trimester.
On another note, the fun part about doing Elvie exercises is that you can do them either sitting or standing, and it's kind of neat that Elvie can tell whether you're doing either. It is also great that I am able to watch Netflix and use my Elvie alone in my crib, while feeling like I'm accomplishing a good workout.
3. IT'S EASY TO WASH AND CHARGE
After you're finished with your kegels, all you have to do is rinse your pod in the sink, and put it back in your tube to charge.
My Elvie charges way faster than my iPhone, which I find very convenient. I can use it right before "Netflix and chill" night, which guarantees me some amazing sex while Narcos plays in the background.
4. THE BENEFITS ARE AMAZING
I tried to use Elvie for a week straight before having intercourse with my husband again, but that didn't work out too well. We ended up making love my fourth time using it, and Lord have mercy...my sex experience was so much more enjoyable. The contractions from my orgasm rushed through my body like El Chapo escaping prison. If I had been drinking, it would have been a spiritual experience.
My husband is amazed by the device and said that he's definitely noticed there was more "tread on the tire". Who would have known that this Fit Bit-like gadget would make so much of a difference in my sex life in such a short period of time (I've been using it almost ten days)? Either my PC muscles are weak, or Elvie is just a fantastic device.
It definitely gets my certified stamp of approval.
If $199 sounds a bit steep, there is a very similar device available for a fraction of the cost for women who are looking to strengthen their pelvic floor (especially after having kids.) You can purchase the Kegal Exerciser with App & Vibration on Amazon for $65 bucks. And the reviews are even better than the Elvie! Thank me later.
- Keep Your Vagina Tight & Right - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Have Different Types Of Orgasms - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Have More Intense Orgasms During Sex - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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