The Foods Your Vagina's Been Craving
Sooo…what have you been feeding your vagina lately? It might sound like a crazy question on the surface, but if it is indeed true that we are what we eat, this means that whatever we put into our mouths, our va-jay-jay is not exempt from receiving whatever is in it—good or bad.
I don't know what it is, but the older that I get, the more intentional I am about paying my vagina some much-needed attention. A part of the reason may be because a part of me wishes I had been more cautious about who I let enter into her back in the day and I want to pamper her for riding a lot of that "hindsight foolishness" out for so long. Also, it could be because those three grey pubic hairs that have popped up are reminders that everything ages; even vulvas. Plus, I'm learning to love on every part of me, from head to toe, unconditionally so (which is what a stunning YouTuber by the name of Salkis Re reminded me to do when she popped up in my suggestion feed recently).
Anyway, in the effort to give the gateway to my womb the love, in the form of nutrition, that it deserves, I've been switching up my diet a bit by feeding my body with foods that directly benefit my vagina. There are actual foods that do it? Yep. And I'll tell you what, sis. Ever since I've been consuming them, I can tell the difference too. Real talk.
1. Dark Leafy Greens
If there's a vegetable that all of us need to consume on a daily basis, it's dark leafy greens. They all have lots of antioxidants in them. Kale specifically is loaded with vitamins A, E, and K, and beta-carotene (a type of antioxidant). Collards are a powerful source of calcium, folate, and vitamins A and C. Spinach has vitamins A, K, and manganese. Turnip greens have calcium, manganese, folate, and vitamins A and C in them. Arugula and Romaine lettuce are full of vitamins A and K too. All of these greens help to keep you regular, support bone health, reduce stress, and boost digestive enzymes and your immune system.
The great thing about dark leafy greens as it relates to your vagina is the fact that they help to purify your blood, increase your blood's circulation (including to your vaginal region), they are able to relieve vaginal dryness due to their ability to sexually stimulate (via the increase in your blood's circulation) you too.
2. Squash
A kind of food that definitely does your body good is squash. Not only is it loaded with vitamins A, B6, and C along with folate, fiber, riboflavin, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, and potassium, it's a vegetable that is proven to aid in the management of diabetes, while keeping your eyes and lungs healthy and, even preventing anemia.
Another awesome thing about squash is it's got a lot of zinc in it. If you're prone to having recurring bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections, zinc can help to keep both of those at bay. There are also studies to support the fact that there is a direct link to low libidos and zinc deficiency. Just one more reason to have some squash this evening, right?
3. Kombucha
In order for our bodies to get the probiotics that we need so that our digestive system remains healthy, it helps to eat fermented foods. Just what is a fermented food exactly? It's a natural process that transpires when foods that contain sugar and starch are converted into alcohol or acids so that they can act as a natural preservative. Anyway, when your body has probiotics in it, it will lead to a stronger immune system, less anxiety, a healthier heart, less weight around your midsection, and less calorie intake.
Your vagina will love a fermented food—well, drink—like kombucha (it's pretty much a fermented sweet tea) because it will keep yeast from overtaking your vagina, maintain your vagina's natural flora and make you less susceptible to urinary tract and bacterial infections. Kombucha will also help to keep your vagina smelling good and tasting less acidic too.
4. Bell Peppers
If you like to cook with bell peppers, whether you realize it or not, you're doing wonders for your health. Bell peppers have a good amount of vitamins A, B6, C, E, and K, as well as potassium, copper, fiber, and folate. Something else that bell peppers have in them is carotenoids which fight off eye disease and various kinds of cancer. Bell peppers also contain nutrients that properly maintain cognitive abilities, fight signs of aging, and improve respiratory and digestive health, thanks to the phosphorus that is in them, they are also the kind of veggies that ensure proper blood flow (including to your nether regions).
Something else that's cool about bell peppers is the amount of C that's in them can help to fight and prevent future bacterial vaginosis attacks. And, the vitamin E that's in them, will boost your libido in the process.
5. Nuts
Almonds are high in calcium, magnesium, and vitamin E. Cashews are rich in iron and oleic acid (a fatty acid that is great for your skin, fights infections, and burns fat; olive oil contains a ton of it). Hazelnuts also have oleic acid in them, along with vitamins B and E, magnesium, and calcium. Peanuts are loaded with folate and vitamin E. Walnuts contain omega-3 fats, antioxidants, and phytosterols (a plant sterol that regulates your body's cholesterol levels). So yeah, whether you eat a handful of one of these or a combo, you're in for a pretty beneficial snack.
On the sex tip, nuts do your body good because they are considered to be healthy fats that will regulate your cholesterol levels. When your cholesterol is in good shape, your hormones (including your sex hormones) are stabilized. That results in a healthy mucosal lining throughout your body to fight off infections (including vagina infections) and a healthy sex drive as well.
6. Celery
Considering that celery is made up of 95 percent water, it's kind of a trip how beneficial it is. It's got antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties that support digestion. It also has vitamins A, B, K, folate, magnesium, and potassium in it. Some other things that are cool about celery are it treats high blood pressure and it's a muscle relaxant. Celery also aids in weight loss, relieves bloating, and can reduce the risk of contracting a urinary tract infection.
When it comes to your vagina, celery also has a lot of vitamin C, beta carotene, and flavonoids in it; this is good because they all help your vagina to maintain a healthy pH balance. As a bonus, celery can remove the bitter taste that your vaginal fluids may have.
7. Guava Fruit
Guava fruit is a fruit that's in season from November to April. It's got vitamin C, potassium, fiber, and antioxidants in it; all of these things work together to lower your blood sugar levels, prevent fine lines and wrinkles, fight and prevent cancer cells, give you consistent bowel movements, and even reduce the intensity of menstrual cramps.
Vaginally, for years, Indian women have boiled guava leaves and used them as a wash to treat vaginal infections. Drinking the "tea" that the boiled leaves create can also get rid of any unpleasant vaginal odor you may have. And, thanks to the C that's in it, guava fruit can keep your sexual appetite strong.
8. Salmon
I don't know about you, but salmon makes me pretty happy and I really like that it's as good for me as it is to me. The omega-3 acids in it will decrease inflammation and reduce the risk of cancer. Because of how much protein that's in salmon, it helps to protect your bones and maintain muscle mass. If you don't feel like taking a B-complex pill, a slice of salmon has about every B vitamin you can think of in it. It's also a great source of potassium, selenium, and the antioxidant astaxanthin which lowers your heart disease risk and increases your skin's elasticity and hydration.
It's because of astaxanthin that salmon also made the list. Consuming this kind of fish 1-2 times a week will aid in increasing vaginal lubrication in both pre-and post-menopausal women.
9. Black Eyed Peas
Some of us eat black eyed peas on New Year's Day for good luck; health-wise, we just might be onto something by doing so. For starters, they deliver 20 percent of the daily value of magnesium, calcium, and iron. Black eyed peas also have loads of fiber, folate, manganese, andvVitamin A as well. By consuming these types of peas, you can prevent anemia, lower your blood pressure, and significantly increase your skin and eye health.
Something else that vitamin A does is help to heal your body should you have a yeast infection. Vitamin A can also strengthen your vaginal walls; think of it as being an "edible kegel".
10. Cinnamon
If there's any part of you that's ever wondered where cinnamon comes from, you can thank the bark of the Cinnamomum verum tree. Another interesting fact is there are different types of cinnamon; the most popular are Ceylon cinnamon (the most potent form of it) and Cassia cinnamon (the kind that you typically see in the seasoning section of your local grocery store). As far as what it can do for your health, cinnamon contains a ton of manganese and a fair amount of calcium, iron, and vitamin K. Cinnamon is high in antioxidants, relieves body inflammation, protects your heart, stabilizes your blood sugar levels, and contains antimicrobial, antibiotic, antifungal and antiviral properties that fight infections and viruses in your system.
As if that isn't enough, because it is an alkaline spice, cinnamon has the ability to neutralize the acid in your vagina which will make your vaginal fluids taste less acidic (the same goes for fellas who eat it). Another fun fact is, if you mix a few drops of cinnamon oil with some sweet almond oil, you'll have a delicious massage oil that is both sweet and a little hot on your taste buds. Yep. Cinnamon is one of the best things for your vagina—both in oil and powder form. Enjoy!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina
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My Vaginal Health Was Out Of Wack Until I Made This Change To My Diet
Featured image by Shutterstock.
Originally published on July 17, 2019
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Chase Nothing, Sis: Why The Things You Want In Life Don’t Require A Chase
Sometimes, I really do wonder what communication would be like if folks didn’t just use words but really thought about their meaning beforehand. For instance, I’ve shared before that I’ve never (ever) been fond of folks (and it’s oftentimes church folks, at that) who say that “men are hunters” (check out “6 Things Church Taught You About Dating That Weren't (Fully) Biblical”). To me, there is nothing compelling, appealing, or even comforting about thinking that men like to track women down like they’re a deer in the forest or something. Besides, women are to be seen as gifts from the Lord, not acquisitions. I’ll pass.
Another saying that irks me? All variations of “You have to chase after what you want.” Listen, just because something is popular, that doesn’t always or automatically make it right. To chase something (or someone) is “to pursue in order to seize, overtake, etc.,” “to pursue with intent to capture or kill, as game; hunt,” “to drive or expel by force, threat, or harassment,” and “to follow or devote one's attention to with the hope of attracting, winning, gaining, etc.” — and honestly, most of the best things that have ever happened to me, I never had to chase…and, after I break down where I’m coming from on all of this, I think you just may come to a similar resolve yourself.
Are you ready to accept that you don’t have to “chase” in life as much as you may think? Let’s do this.
Your Purpose
GiphyNo exaggeration, it’s got to be at least 2-5 times a month when I find myself wishing that Dr. Myles Munroe was still with us. And honestly, I can’t believe that this fall marks 10 years since he, his wife, and several others died in a plane crash. Since I am a marriage life coach, I really enjoy a lot of his takes on marriage (check out some of his videos on YouTube sometime; if you’re single, start here); however, what initially put me onto him was his passion when it came to helping people to discover their purpose.
In fact, it used to be that, whenever I would describe him to other people, I would say that his purpose is to help people to discover their purpose. And what an honor that is being that all of us were literally created and are currently existing because we have a special and specific purpose to manifest.
Now, what I don’t think I was prepared for is how much I would find my own self writing on the topic of purpose. Take this platform, for example, and the several times that I’ve addressed it, one way or another: “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose,” “Still Don't Know Your Purpose? Answer These 7 Questions.,” “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” and “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'.”
I think what makes me so…unexpectedly passionate about it is that I know the sense of peace, wholeness, and real joy that comes with knowing what your purpose is. I think I also pen on the subject because I’m also aware that, reportedly, only 25 percent of people in this country think that they know what makes their lives meaningful (yeah, that low of a count is absolutely not good) — and there is no way that you can come to that conclusion without having a real sense of purpose.
Otherwise, even if you love your partner, your kids, your other loved ones, your job, your place of worship, and whatever else, there will still be an emptiness inside of you. Why? Because, before all of that, you were given a purpose (bookmark the word “given” because I will come back to that) — and THAT should be your top priority, under God, above all else (and I do mean ALL else).
That’s a part of the reason why I dig (so much) that Hebrew and African cultures (which, if you pay attention to the Bible, are one and the same on a lot of levels…some of y’all will catch that later) are big on not just naming children something that sounds cute; they believe that your name should speak to your purpose in life — and that when someone says your name, they are declaring your purpose in real-time.
My name? It’s Hebrew. Sheli literally means “mine” and “Mine; Belonging to Me.” It’s a bit of a long story, yet it basically speaks to being in covenant with God. And my purpose? It’s very covenant-driven when it comes to the topics of marriage, sex, and the (biblical) Sabbath. I talk about all three as if they are a literal part of my being — like air and water. It’s kinda wild. And you know what? I didn’t have to go chasing after my purpose. Nope, I was born with it — it was given to me. And no, I’m not exceptional here. You were born with a purpose, too. Not one bit of chasing is required.
The challenge is that it can be very easy to minimize the extreme importance of knowing why you are living on this planet at this very time or to get distracted and not prioritize figuring your purpose out. When that happens, you can end up chasing all kinds of stuff…because you’re not fully in “life alignment.” And just what do I mean by that? When people ask me how I ended up doing what I do for a living, something that I can honestly say is that I CHASED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it.
My writing gigs didn’t require a ton of effort. My book deals actually came to me. When I toured with the porn and sex addiction organization, we found each other because we shared the same publisher. When I was a teen mom director, a boyfriend’s mom at the time was on the board of the non-profit and she referred me. I used to be a house poet along with a writer who got me my column gig at a paper here. I’ve had example after example.
Even from my very beginning, my mom is who gave me my name, and she said that, as a toddler, my favorite toy was shaking newspaper, so she knew that I was a writer — and here I am. Even on this platform, I write about marriage and sex quite a bit, and I’m even able to throw in the Sabbath from time to time. Because I know what my purpose is, I make decisions that align with it, and although that has required gifts, talents, skill, and patience at times…THERE HAS BEEN NO CHASING, THOUGH.
To tell you the truth, it kind of reminds me of the author Paulo Coelho's quote: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” — and y’all, when you want to fulfill the reason why you exist in the first place…no chasing has to happen. Remain laser-focused, hella self-disciplined, and confident, and the universe will indeed have your back.
So, if you feel like you are doing a lot of “chasing,” especially in the professional realm, do some real soul-searching to make sure that you are operating/functioning within your purpose. Because having a good job and thriving in your purpose are not automatically one and the same. The first, you may have to chase. The second? It’s already in you — and when you commit to the latter, you’ll be amazed how well it tends to…commit right back with doors that will open in a way that only your purpose can make happen for you.
Your Dreams
GiphyNapoleon Hill once said, “Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” Anais Nin once said, “Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.” Katori Hall once said, “Follow your intuition, listen to your dreams, your inner voice to guide you.” Andy Ruiz, Jr. once said, “As long as you pray and believe in your dreams, anything is possible.” Vin Diesel once said, “It's insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.”
If you pay really close attention, there is something that all of these quotes have in common — they pretty much speak to your dreams already being a part of you. Oh, and did you also peep that Vin Diesel said that it’s not your dreams that you have to chase…although your insecurities will seek to seize, capture, threaten...chase you down so that your dreams will not come true? Interesting.
Okay, so dreams. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m someone who dreams on a nightly basis. I’m also someone who remembers most of my dreams. Yet what actually are dreams? Although kind of like the common cold not having a cure, science is still trying to figure out what dreaming is all about (yep, even after all of this time). What it knows for sure is dreams are a series of images, thoughts, or feelings that occur when we’re asleep, that our most intense dreams happen when we’re in REM sleep, that they are involuntary, typically happen in first-person and waking life oftentimes are a part of our dreams.
Why do we dream? Some researchers say that dreaming helps us to organize our thoughts and process certain emotions (especially ones that we may be suppressing while we’re awake) while others say that it’s a way for us to “replay” something that transpired so that we can process it differently.
Whatever the case may be, the one thing that we know for sure is you don’t have to chase your dreams; they come to you when you’re asleep.
Well, when it comes to the dreams that you have for your (waking) life, if you really stop to think about it, those tend to “come to you” too. As one author explained in a post on her site, when you’re clear about what your roots and values are, and then you factor in the experiences that have made you who you are, the ambitions that are birthed out of that, they tend to be your dreams — your vision for your life.
Now that you know this, journal about your roots, values, and experiences. Next, think about what your dreams, your vision, and your goals are as a direct result of those three things. Did you really have to “chase” anything to have those dreams? Or did they mostly arrive as a natural result — a next step in the evolutionary process?
Now, do you see why I don’t believe that you have to chase your dreams either? The ones that happen when you’re awake and asleep tend to come to you — just like you were born with your purpose. While we’re here, as I touched on a bit earlier, your insecurities would like to try to hunt you down IN THE HOPES of keeping you from your dreams. Yet isn’t it interesting that if they are chasing after you…that must mean that you are running away from them? Hmm…(some of y’all will catch that later).
Everything Else
GiphySo, if you are born with your purpose (no need to chase it) and your dreams come to you (no need to chase them) — why in the world would you need to chase after anything or anyone else?
Although it took me many years to have this ah-ha moment in my own life, hear me when I say that when you are in your purpose and you are focused on developing your dreams (which is absolutely not the same thing as chasing after them), for one thing, you don’t have a lot of time left over to chase after anything or anybody. Bigger than even that, though, when you are in your purpose and focused on your dreams, you tend to be drawn to the people, places, things, and ideas that will COMPLEMENT your purpose and your dreams.
You start to realize that who and what “fits” like a puzzle piece in the overall picture of your life — they almost effortlessly do just that. You don’t have to beg, hunt, convince, hound — CHASE. What will help you to manifest your purpose, what will help you to reach your dreams, “it” will, as they say, “understand the assignment” and be just fine with it.
Okay, so am I saying that no effort on your part will be required? C’mon now. There is a lot of space in between chasing and being flat-out lazy. Yes, you will have to put in some work….sometimes hard work. However, that’s still not the same thing as chasing, though. And honestly, even the tamer definition of chase that I mentioned earlier? You know, “to follow or devote one's attention to with the hope of attracting, winning, gaining, etc.”?
Listen, I’ve never had to devote my time, effort, and energy in THE HOPES that my purpose and dreams will come to fruition. Now, there may be a few instances where the doors didn’t open; however, isn’t that the same thing as something not being a good complement for you — whether it’s during a particular time or season…or…EVER?
Because sis, just as sure as I am typing all of this out, I can tell you that if something (or someone) is going to help you to take your purpose and dreams to the next level in a way that will not cause you to compromise who you are and/or who you are meant to become (that is key right there), no chasing is needed and even the work that will be required — it’ll be more like maintenance not toiling.
And this — all of this — is why this article has the title that it does. No, I do not believe that the things and people who matter most in your life, you’ve got to chase after them…because if you’re chasing something (or one), either it doesn’t want to be caught, or you’re moving in the wrong season and, as a wise person once said, the right thing at the wrong time is STILL the wrong thing. And if that’s the case, you are “wasting the chase” anyway.
Y’all, as I close this out, another wise person once said, “Never chase. Be confident. Then attract. That’s it.” Oh, how these are words to live by because what and who is meant for you, they will be drawn to you. No need for you to be chasing. It sees you and honors you — and will get in line…accordingly.
I am certainly a living testament of that.
CHASE NOTHING, SIS. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED.
Besides, if you’re chasing, you might miss out on what you’re actually attracting.
(Yeah, some of y’all will catch that later too.)
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