Does Slippery Elm Really Do What The Girls Say?
All the women of the land want to claim they have that ill na na, that WAP and as you can see by the timeless colloquialisms this is nothing new. The reality is that not every woman has it and I’m not saying that to shame, I’m actually saying that to normalize and minimize the shame that is seemingly around the subject matter because there are physical and mental reasons why vaginal dryness might occur. This is not me saying that you should settle for “it is what it is” but quite the opposite. Instead, know that you’re not alone and that in some cases there is work that can be done, physicians and sex therapists who might be able to help you learn ways to increase vaginal “wetness” or lubrication, or the cause of vaginal dystrophy or dryness as it can be several factors, from stress to menopause and SO *claps* MUCH *claps* MORE *claps*.
One thing that has piqued my cat-like curiosity is the girlies of TikTok saying that slippery elm bark, a plant that works as a demulcent, was the secret ingredient to getting macaroni-in-a-pot gushy. In fact, slippery elm bark has caused an increase in sales according to John Frigo, trainer, registered dietitian, and product specialist with Best Price Nutrition. He also adds that they can typically pinpoint TikTok as the culprit when these sorts of things begin to trend yet this time it happens to hold some truth. Frigo's exact words were, “Slippery elm bark seems to increase the mucilage tissues in our bodies which includes vaginal tissue. While no studies have been done on this anecdotally there seems to be a consensus that after about a week of use women begin to experience a noticeable difference.”
I spoke with two other experts who believe it is likely that slippery elm bark could work to increase wetness based on the product's mechanism. They also agree that it wouldn’t be their first line of defense when it comes to increasing your “sauce” as Rihanna once referred to it as. Making this the perfect segue because we want to know all the things anyways!
Before deferring to slippery elm as your vaginal wetness hack, the two experts have some suggestions to try in order to increase vaginal lubrication.
1. Balance Your Vaginal pH
Among other factors that can create vaginal dryness, your pH balance is one of them. Your pH balance plays an important role in the overall health of your vagina. For your vaginal pH to be considered balanced, it needs to fall between the 3.8 to 4.5 range. Having a pH balance that is too high (over 4.5) is the perfect breeding ground for unhealthy bacteria to flourish and increases your risk for infections like BV. In order to correct an unbalanced pH, you can implement habits like taking probiotics, staying hydrated, and improving your diet.
Dr. Erica Steele, board-certified naturopathic doctor and certified functional medicine practitioner explains, “The digestive system has a symbiotic relationship with the female reproductive system so cleaning up the digestive system is very important to create a healthy and balanced vaginal canal. Lowering fat in the diet, increasing protein as well as improving the microbiology of the digestive system, specifically, the liver is key to ensuring a healthy vaginal canal.”
2. Vaginal Moisturizers
Vaginal moisturizers can be a very effective way to treat vaginal dryness. The over-the-counter remedy can be found in both gel and suppository form and use hyaluronic acid to hydrate vaginal cells and therefore moisturize the vagina. This differs from lubricants because vaginal moisturizers can alter vaginal tissues whereas lubricants just add a lubricated barrier to reduce tears that may stem from the friction created by intercourse. Furthermore, vaginal moisturizers are most effective when used regularly as most products suggest twice-a-week application. And like most skin care products, the more consistently you use it, the better the results. If you are looking for vaginal moisturizers to try, Healthline provided a great list of the best vaginal moisturizers of 2022 and you can find that here.
3. Vaginal DHEA
Another non-hormonal option that can be used to treat vaginal atrophy is vaginal dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA). This treatment is most often used by postmenopausal women to improve sexual function and increase vaginal wetness that naturally reduces as women get older. Kim Vopni, who is known as the Vagina Coach, says, "Vaginal DHEA is a non-hormonal cream that can help with the conversion of estrogen and testosterone. Estrogen is a big part of a healthy vagina and as we age and produce less estrogen, the walls of the vagina thin and become drier." Vopni recommends Julva Vulva Rejuvenating Cream as a personal favorite.
4. Do Pelvic Floor Exercises
In addition to the other options listed as ways to address dryness, consider working out! No, not in the gym. Vopni suggests doing pelvic floor exercises. She adds, "Kegels are a commonly known form of pelvic floor exercise that, when done correctly, can help increase blood flow and circulation to the vagina and can help with lubrication. An at-home device called the vFit by Joylux has also been shown to increase lubrication, among other benefits.”
While it is a relief to know that TikTokers weren’t pulling slippery elm out of their bag of tricks and deception (since it is hit or miss), it’s wonderful to know that there are other approaches that can be taken before purchasing slippery elm. And generally speaking, options!
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Not too long ago, while in a session with one of my clients, they were talking to me about having strong sex cravings that seemed to have come out of nowhere. After asking some questions for clarity’s sake, I got that the reason why they used the word “craving” is because it’s not like they are hornier than usual all of the time. Nah, it’s more like the urge creeps up at some pretty random and/or unexpected moments. What they wanted to know from me was if I thought that it was normal.
The short answer is “yes.”
Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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