Whew, weddings. Whether it's in our heads or on paper, most of us start planning our wedding day long before any "suitors" come into the picture. One of my best friends and I constantly joked about having a wedding binder even though there were no potentials in sight. But when my now-husband popped the question, our efforts didn't seem so crazy. I was ready ready and couldn't wait to bring my plans to life. Still, my Pinterest pages, vision boards, and saved snapshots on Instagram had nothing on what I was in for.
Yes, I had a wedding planner because… weddings are stressful. There are so many little details that are easy to forget (did I order ribbons for the chairs on the end?). But with or without a pro by your side, wedding planning books are game-changers and stress relievers for novices and experts alike. From budget checklists and typically forgotten to-dos to advice from wedding planners to the stars, they remove (most of) the stress and make it as fun of an experience as possible.
Your wedding planning - and maybe even your sanity - isn't complete without these books.
1.'The Wedding Book: An Expert’s Guide to Planning Your Perfect Day--Your Way'
Amazon
If you've looked at any celebrity wedding or event in awe, you've probably seen one planned by Mindy Weiss. She's been the creative mind behind ceremonies and celebrations for some of our faves like Diana Ross. But if you're like most of us who don't have Diana Ross money, you can get as close as possible with Weiss' book (which has been dubbed the ultimate wedding planning bible). It serves as a step-by-step guide to achieving your dream wedding, even with a small budget. It gives tips and advice on all things wedding etiquette and other aspects like selecting a menu, wardrobe choices, and how to get the most bang for your buck.
2.'Bridechilla How to Plan Your Wedding: Survival Guide'
Amazon
We said we wanted to put the fun in wedding planning, right? This book does just that. I'm not saying that there won't be any stress involved in planning a ceremony. It comes with the territory. But it definitely shouldn't outdo the fun involved. That's where this book comes in. It gets rid of the pressure to stick with ceremonial traditions and motivates you to do.your.own.thing. But of course, it doesn't leave you hanging. It offers amazing alternatives and provides inspiration for aesthetics and the not-so-fun specifics.
3.'Wedding Planner: Complete Bridal Planning for African-American Black Brides'
Amazon
It offers much more than just tips for ironing out details of your wedding. It caters to black brides and features motivational quotes for your ceremony. The creators literally thought of everything like a space for reception music playlists. The best part? It can be kept as a keepsake to look back on long after you say "I do."
4.'Celebrate Everything!: Fun Ideas to Bring Your Parties to Life'
Amazon
This book just screams, "Let's plan a party!" It emphasizes the fun and stress-free factors of planning your big day (and other life celebrations), helping you look back on your wedding with a smile instead of a cringe. What I love about this one is that event planner Darcy Miller threw in D.I.Y. projects and recipes to help make your celebration all your own. She also included expert tips and some of her own inspirations to make your party planning experience a less stressful one.
5.Two Crew Design Maid Of Honor Notebook
Etsy
The maid of honor potentially has just as many responsibilities, and sometimes more, than the bride herself. So it only makes sense to have a book with her in mind. It's such a unique way to show love and appreciation to the woman who will stand closest to you on your big day. It includes details of the dress she'll wear, her tasks before, during, and after the wedding, as well as a bridal shower checklist and planner. Your maid of honor is a superhero and will certainly be deserving of a cape in the form of this book.
6.The Gift Studio Personalized Wedding Planner Book
Etsy
For the well-meaning brides who are indecisive at heart, this wedding planning book is for you. The appearance and pages are so inspiring to look at you can't help but want to jump in and execute plans for your big day. It comes with 140 pages of checklists, tips, advice, vision boards, countdowns, and even quizzes to help you make those extra tough choices. You can even personalize it and get your and the groom's name on it to make it extra special. That's what your day is all about, right?
7.'All the Essentials Wedding Planner: The Ultimate Tools for Organizing Your Big Day'
Amazon
Created for the overanalyzing strategic bride (which could be any future wife at any given moment - so don't be ashamed!), this book not only comes with a to-do list but features a calendar to help you stick to deadlines and stay on track. The calendar goes as far as 18 months out for those with longer engagements who are itching to start planning sooner than later. It even includes a detailed budget checklist for expenses like gifts for those in your wedding party and thank-you notes for guests.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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