When I think of femininity, I think of all the things my mother raised me to be as a young girl, a young woman, and now as a whole grown woman. Clean. Elegant and eloquent. Respectful, disciplined, and tactful. Poised, proper, and presentable. As I am writing this, it reminds me of Daphne Bridgerton in the Netflix series Bridgerton. While I am still all of the things I mentioned, I am naturally casual, organized, independent, strong, focused, righteous, adventurous, analytical, and linear. And because of all of these things, I am accomplished. I have to be these things – this is how I succeed in a gender-biased society. But because of all these things, I am masculine. Sometimes, I even curse like a sailor and walk out of the house looking like a hot mess too.
And – nothing about that is feminine. At least not in the traditional sense of the word.
When it comes to tapping into your divine feminine, there are levels to this shit. I never knew I leaned masculine, let alone what masculine or feminine energy truly was until I started my own spiritual journey. But in this moment, I am not here to share that story with you. I am here to tell you becoming more feminine is a level of consciousness, self-care, and inner work that you must be open to doing. It's layers of learning, unlearning, and shedding.
Question – Unlearn what though? Answer – thoughts, patterns, behaviors, and more.
So, sit with me as I break this down for you.
What Does It Mean to Be More Feminine?
We're told being feminine is in a woman's presentation. It is how we appeal to society physically and how we present ourselves. It's about our hair, skin, and the shape of our bodies. It involves our choices in make-up, clothing styles, and color choices. Let's stop right here – this idea of femininity is all surface level and a societal standard told to us by men. I'm starting to sound a little feminist, but I don't mean to be and that's beside the point. Feminine energy is more than just physical. We are also told that femininity is behavioral. It is soft, modest, submissive, gentle, nurturing, and warm. Again, a societal standard that still scratches the surface of what it means to be feminine.
This definition of feminine energy is old, historical, traditional, and biased. Divine Feminine Energy is so much more than what we are told.
It is purely magical.
What Is Divine Feminine Energy?
Divine feminine energy has always existed. It is a concept that stems from spirituality. ABustle article states that consciousness is divided into two sides – masculine and feminine. Both sides are needed to become our highest selves. The Divine Feminine is concerned with a sense of self. It's a powerful energy that is associated with creativity, intuition, community, sensuality, and collaboration.
When you tap into your feminine energy, it helps build stronger relationships with friends, significant others, and colleagues. According to an article frommindbodygreen.com, feminine energy refers to how you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process. Divine feminine energy is not associated with or tied to gender. Both men and women equally possess feminine energy.
Tapping Into Your Divine Feminine Energy
There are several ways to tap into your feminine energy. It involves a level of self-awareness, consistency, and commitment to daily practices. Here are some ways you can tap into your feminine energy below.
Put Some Orange In Your Life
Orange is the color of our sacral chakra. It is located below the navel and centered in the womb. Our sacral chakra carries our feminine energy. It's where our creativity and sexuality live. You can eat foods like oranges, cantaloupes, tangerines, carrots, and sweet potatoes to help keep the sacral chakra balanced.
Co-Create Your Life
Get creative – we are on this earth to live and experience but also to create. Women have been given the gift and power to create human life through our bodies. But why should it stop here? We can create through artistic expression. This means writing, painting, singing, poetry, music, and dance. I have said this before, but I'll say it again – author your own life. Create the life you want to live with all the elements you desire in it.
Feel The Shit Out of Everything
Honor your feelings – but not just the good ones, feel the bad ones too. Cry, scream, yell, or smile. Do all of it. Your feelings are a thousand percent valid. Part of divine feminine energy is allowing yourself to feel every single emotion. And to reflect and understand why these feelings are brought about. Allow yourself to process your feelings and listen to how you feel. Ask yourself what this person, situation, or event is trying to tell you or teach you. Trust your intuition – let your feelings make your decisions rather than your thoughts. Your body will feel the answer before your mind starts to think of an answer.
Indulge In Pleasure
Do more of whatever brings you joy. This could look like enjoying food, wine, candles, or a bubble bath. This can also look like a walk in the park, hiking, rollerblading, or an impromptu beach day. It's your responsibility to be the love and light in your life. It's only when you have found your happiness that you're able to bring happiness into other people's lives. We often mistake pleasure for an event we enjoy with a person or a group of people. Sometimes it is, and other times it doesn't have to be. It's OK to enjoy moments alone. And If you enjoy sex, there is nothing wrong with self-pleasure. By all means, explore your body and give yourself that orgasm. You need it.
Be Open to Receiving
It is true – what we put out into the universe is what we receive. So, be aware of your thoughts, actions, and how you move through life. Being open to receive also means when you ask for something, you will receive an abundance of it. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, favors, or support when it's needed. Equally, there is nothing wrong with receiving compliments either. Embrace the love and light that comes your way, and then return it tenfold. It'll come back to you in ways you didn't imagine before.
Watch Your Divine Feminine Transform Your Life
When you tap into your feminine energy, it enables life transformation. I am a living example, like many other women who have tapped into their feminine energy. It's a type of energy that is restorative, inspirational, and vibrant. It is gentle, warm, and playful.
Connecting with your divine feminine is a powerful journey that will help you discover your superpower, soul's purpose, and become more aligned with who you are. And once you learn these things and start to live in your purpose – consider yourself unstoppable.
You begin to thrive. Your dreams start to manifest. Your life unfolds the way it was meant to. The process of transformation is scary but necessary to shed the old to create the new in our lives.
We all have feminine energy, but we tend to let our masculine energy dominate. And balancing both energies is not easy. You have to constantly check in with yourself. Sometimes you have to put yourself in check too. Feminine energy requires you to build a relationship with yourself. And if you haven't heard this already, your relationship with yourself is the greatest relationship you will ever have.
So, are you ready to tap in?
I invite you to reawaken your divine feminine. I invite you to step into this journey of self-exploration.
I promise you won't regret it.
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Imma tell y’all what — it seems like not one week goes by when I don’t see some sort of so-called term that has me like, “What in the world?” For instance, when I first stumbled upon “self-partnering,” honestly, I laughed. Then shared it with some other single people as well as married folks I know. And I kid you not, every individual was like, “What the heck does that mean?” When I told them that it was yet, one more way to seemingly define single living, basically everyone’s follow-up was, “Oh, brother.”
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masterdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masterdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masterdating All About?
Masterdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masterdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masterdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masterdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masterdating
1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masterdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masterdating
So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masterdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
Sooo…what kind of masterdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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