10 Black Friday/ Cyber Monday Travel Deals In 'Safe' Locations For Black Travelers
If you're looking for 2025 travel deals that will give you unforgettable experiences at some of the most sought-after destinations, this article is for you. Not only are these destinations full of relaxation and adventure, but it is also known to be safe for Black and brown travelers. Below is a curated list of 10 safe travel spots that are having Black Friday/ Cyber Monday deals.
Puerto Rico
Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Ease of entry and accessibility - no passport required + more than 20 airports offering daily, nonstop flights from most major US airports
- Diversity in people and landscapes - best explored through ‘both sides’ of the island… the city (San Juan) and then the forest (Rio Grande/El Yunque) for amazing natural adventures
- Huge Black expat community
Conveniently located just minutes from Historic Old San Juan and a short 10-minute drive from the airport, Caribe Hilton offers a tropical escape at the heart of it all. Known for its rich history and celebrated as the birthplace of the piña colada, Caribe Hilton has been serving up hospitality excellence for 75 years. The oceanfront property’s world-class service is surpassed only by its incredible amenities, such as a secluded stretch of white sand beach, multiple pools and restaurants, a full-service spa, and an abundance of activities catering to families, friend groups, and wellness seekers alike.
The Deal: Kicking off on Cyber Monday, Caribe Hilton will be offering a Cyber Week promotion from Dec. 2-8, 2024. Travelers can save up to 25% on all room types for trips booked between January 2- June 30, 2025.
Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico | Rio Grande, Puerto Rico Located on a protected natural peninsula at the foothills of the El Yunque rainforest, Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico offers guests an authentic taste of Puerto Rico from the comfort of a sprawling luxurious resort secluded along miles of coral reef-protected beaches, through unique amenities and unforgettable experiences like its 100% Puerto Rican resort-branded craft beer, its complimentary Pan Sobao door-to-door breakfast, twinkle light rainforest picnics and PRadise pool-side popsicles. The property is also home to several oceanfront swimming pools (which include Puerto Rico’s largest lagoon-style pool), a full-service spa, a 27-hole championship golf course, over 17 food and beverage outlets ranging from a prime steakhouse to classic Puerto Rican cuisine, a Top Golf Swing Suite, and more.
The Deal: World of HyattMembers can save up to 25% on their stay at Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico when they shop this Black Friday! The offer will be available from November 19-December 9 and is eligible on stays between November 19 and April 20, 2025.
Curaçao
BijBlauw Curaçao
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Local culture is super diverse - a melting pot with over 65 nationalities, most people speak four languages (English, Spanish, Dutch, Papiamento - the local language). Lots of influence from Colombia and South America, plus of course, the indigenous and Caribbean population. Roughly 85% of the population is of African descent.
- LGBTQIA+ friendly
Curacao Marriott Beach Resort I Curaçao
Nestled among six acres of pristine beachfront near Willemstad, the island’s pastel-clad downtown, Curaçao Marriott Beach Resort offers warm, dedicated hospitality for which the Caribbean is known. The ideal backdrop for your dream vacation in Curaçao, the tropical hotel oasis is a cultured paradise that creates magical memories to last a lifetime.
The Deal: From November 26 to December 3, 2024, for stays between December 1, 2024, and January 20, 2025, travelers can expect discounts of up to 25% off. The promotion begins at 15% off, increases to 20% off for Bonvoy members, and up to 25% for Bonvoy members who book through the Bonvoy app.
BijBlauw I Curaçao
Perched just outside of Curaçao’s bustling Pietermaai district sits BijBlauw, a charming boutique hotel overlooking the glittering waters of the Caribbean Sea. After a day of adventure, relaxation, or fun in the sun on the island, BijBlauw offers travelers an elevated boho-chic haven.
The Deal: Potential bookers receive a 20% discount, with a booking window from Thanksgiving through Cyber Monday. The travel window extends from Thanksgiving until May 28, 2025. A few important details to note: the discount is non-refundable, cannot be combined with other offers or discounts (including Friends of BijBlauw), and the code to use is autumnatBijBlauw. No dates are excluded.
Costa Rica
Hotel Three Sixty
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Super safe and low crime rate, plus fast-growing Black expat community
Hotel Three Sixty | Ojochal, Costa Rica
A member of Small Luxury Hotels, Hotel Three Sixty promises an intimate, adults-only escape tucked away in the unspoiled treetops of Southern Costa Rica. The property is made up of 12 luxurious villas, complemented by an infinity pool overlooking the Pacific Ocean, the open-air Kua Kua restaurant with panoramic views, a Jungle Spa with locally inspired treatments, and a secluded rainforest yoga deck. Here, your only neighbors are the scarlet macaws, toucans, and monkeys swinging by to say hello.
The Deal: 25% off accommodations plus a $100 food and beverage credit to enjoy the new menu at Kua Kua restaurant. This deal is valid to book November 25, 2024, to December 3, 2024, for stays between November 25, 2024 - November 30, 2025; blackout dates are December 22, 2024-January 2, 2025. Discounts cannot be combined with any other offer. To book, visit https://www.hotelthreesixty.com/offers.
Mexico - (Cancun & Los Cabos)
Corazón Cabo Resort & Spa Los Cabos
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Cancun / JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa
WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Mexico is one of the travel ‘big dogs’ with millions of visitors each year. They are well developed and used to catering to travelers from all over the world with various backgrounds
- Out of all of the places in Mexico - Cancun, Tulum, and the Riviera are some of the safest and the most diverse. You can stay safely in a resort, but take day trips to Tulum and the natural wonders.
JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa | Cancun, Mexico
Situated in the heart of Cancun’s vibrant hotel zone and just minutes from the area’s hottest attractions, the luxurious JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa offers a rejuvenating escape to any traveler. With oceanfront rooms, restorative Mayan-inspired spa treatments, luxurious dining options, and an extensive 150 margaritas menu, the resort is the perfect place to relax after an adventurous day exploring Cancun’s jungles or turquoise blue waters.
The Deal: Marriott Bonvoy Members get 25% off stays booked through their app, or 20% off stays booked directly. Non-members receive 15% off their stays. The booking window is November 26 - December 3, 2024, for stays December 1, 2024 - January 20, 2025.
Los Cabos / Corazón Cabo Resort & Spa
WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Also one of the safest zones in Mexico and super well developed in terms of accommodations, transportation, attractions, etc.
- You can find real reviews from Black travelers here
Corazón Cabo Resort & Spa| Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
Nestled near Cabo’s famous Marina along the area’s best swimmable beach, the chic and luxuriousCorazón Cabo Resort & Spa treats travelers to an opulent beachfront getaway in the heart of Cabo San Lucas. From expansive bedrooms with balconies and private hot tubs to Cabo’s highest and most lavish rooftop bar with 360-degree views, a private beach club, and three infinity pools overlooking the famous Cabo Arch, Corazón Cabo is the picture of modern luxury. Corazón also boasts a world-class on-site spa, Sparitual, offering chakra balancing treatments and more, as well as fun activities like beachfront yoga classes and guided tequila/mezcal tastings.
The Deal: From November 18- December 3, guests can save up to 30% off room rates, enjoy a $50 daily food and beverage credit, and take 30% off select spa treatments at Sparitual for stays booked from November 18, 2024 - April 30, 2025. Additionally, guests can spread the gift card love with a special promotion where the resort is giving back 10% of the total gift card amount in a resort credit, valid from November 1, 2024 - January 10, 2025.
Iceland
Hotel Rangá Iceland
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- One of the safest countries in the world with some of the most welcoming people (ranked as the safest, most peaceful country on the 2022 Global Peace Index). Even though it is a mainly white country, they are very tolerant and also have opened up all their borders to tourism. They understand the positive impact tourists have on their destination, and they embrace it.
- This is a great article providing a direct perspective from Franny the Traveler:
- Some great stats here.
Hotel Rangá | Hella, Iceland
Known as the land of fire and ice, Iceland is home to otherworldly landscapes, the Northern Lights, and adventure galore.Set in the secluded and spectacular countryside of the South Coast lies Hotel Rangá, a luxe little lodge with lots of personality. Situated under clear dark skies, Hotel Rangá is also the best place to see the famous Aurora Borealis (complete with wake-up calls) or enjoy a stellar star gazing session alongside a resident astronomer at the hotel's own hi-tech, roll-off roof observatory.
The Deal: From November 29-December 5, guests can save up to 30% off room rates on stays booked from December 1, 2024 - May 31, 2025 (excluding blackout dates between December 23, 2024 - January 3, 2025). Offer valid for a two-night minimum stay. To book, visit hotelranga.is.
Aruba
Aruba Marriott Resort and Stellaris Casino
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- “One Happy Island” is their tagline, and this is reflected in their warm and welcoming locals - who are all super diverse as well as expats
- There’s an area called San Nicolas that is known as ‘Black-owned’ Aruba
Aruba Marriott Resort and Stellaris Casino | Palm Beach, Aruba
Aruba Marriott Resort and Stellaris Casino is a luxurious getaway for travelers of varied interests and any occasion, from family trips to romantic escapes and even corporate retreats. The 414-room resort features ocean-facing guest rooms, all with their own 100-square-foot balconies, overlooking several different breathtaking views of the property and the Palm Beach oceanfront. Additional amenities include 10 dining venues, two pools from a vibrant family-friendly option to an adults-only H2Oasis pool, the largest spa and casino on the island, a two-story fitness center, non-motorized watersports, and more.
The Deal: Guests receive a $100 resort credit and a varying discount on accommodations, up to 25%, for stays four nights or longer from March 1 - July 31, 2025. Book using code E4000 (or code M96 for Bonvoy members) at www.arubamarriott.com from November 27 - December 6, 2024.
Napa Valley, CA
The Meritage Resort and Spa Napa Valley, CA
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- Black travelers make up only 2.7% of annual visitors. However, Napa Valley is a great place for girls trips, romantic getaways and more
- There are a lot of misconceptions about how expensive it is, but there are ways to visit wine country and not break the bank
- There’s also a few Black-owned wineries and tasting rooms like Vin En Noir, and there is also a Napa Wine Train which is perfect for girl’s getaways
The Meritage Resort and Spa | Napa Valley, CA
Set on 36 golden acres with nine acres of active working vineyards, The Meritage Resort and Spa is your one-stop shop for the Napa Valley experience – now boasting a stunning $25 million new look that it just unveiled this summer. From its four onsite tasting rooms to acclaimed fine dining, vineyard-facing pools, its iconic Spa Terra ( a naturally formed Estate Cave located 40 ft under its working vines), and vintner hiking trails, The Meritage is a gateway to the best of California Wine Country. Even going above and beyond with additional amenities and experiences like an onsite six-lane bowling alley, a champagne tasting room, a summer concert series, vineyard picnics, a farm-to-table garden, a curated local artisan market, and more.
The Deal: Save 30% on your Napa Valley visit in addition to a $30 daily resort credit at the newly reimagined Meritage Resort and Spa when you stay two-plus nights, anytime between November 2024 and March 2025 (blackout dates apply). This offer is bookable from November 18-December 4, 2024. Any bookings made during the early access period will receive double perks for Meritage CollectionStay Golden rewards members, which will also include two complimentary welcome cocktails and two spa enhancements.
The Bahamas
British Colonial Nassau
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- The Bahamas is listed as a top-rated destination for Black travelers. Travel technology company Expedia and Black travel review website Green Book Global are preparing to launch a Green Book Global Black Travel Review Month (BTRM) initiative that allows Black travelers to rate destinations that they enjoy, and the Bahamas is in the top five.
Resorts World Bimini | Bimini, The Bahamas
Island charm meets luxury at Resorts World Bimini—an expansive oceanfront complex just 50 miles off the coast of South Florida that encompasses a chic Hilton hotel, world-class casino, marina, and a private beach and lounge reminiscent of the beach clubs found in Tulum. Guests will be surrounded by unparalleled views of the bright blue Caribbean Sea, which are best enjoyed with a cocktail in hand around one of two hotel pools: the ground-floor lagoon pool or the rooftop infinity pool, both of which serve up local bites and specialty cocktails at their poolside bars. And for an elevated afternoon, lounge at Resorts World Bimini Beach—a 4.5-acre private beach and lounge features two stunning lagoon pools, day beds shaded by palapas, private oceanfront cabanas, bohemian-inspired decor, local bites, all-day live entertainment, and picturesque views.
The Deal: Answer the call of paradise when you book the exclusive “BOGO in Paradise” package for your next trip to Bimini, where buying one night gets you a second free, or buying two gets a third. Starting at $249 per person, the package includes round-trip ferry transportation on Baleari Caribbean from Fort Lauderdale, FL, a stay at the Hilton at Resorts World Bimini, access to Bimini Beach, and live entertainment. Visit https://rwbimini.com/event/bogo-in-paradise/ to book; offer valid for stay dates through May 22, 2025.
British Colonial Nassau | Nassau, Bahamas
British Colonial Nassau is a Bahamian gem that recently underwent a massive $50 million transformation. Visitors can immerse themselves in downtown Nassau and enjoy hotel amenities like the 300 ft private white-sand beach, seven dining outlets from a signature martini bar with live jazz on the weekends to a beach bar + grill, two oceanfront pools, and non-motorized water sports. British Colonial Nassau is a seamless option for those seeking an upscale, sophisticated ambiance infused with key aspects of Bahamian culture.
The Deal: This year, the hotel is launching its ‘30/30/30’ offer. Beginning on November 15, book and receive 30% off the best available rates, a daily $30 food and beverage credit per room, 30% off movie and bowling passes at the Icons Entertainment Complex, and two welcome drink vouchers! Offer valid for a two-night minimum stay between December 1, 2024 - December 21, 2025. *Booking window November 15, 2024- December 6, 2024. Blackout dates: December 22, 2024 - January 2, 2025, and April 18-26, 2025. Food and beverage credit is per room, per day. (Value of saving $150 / Starting rates $179) Booking Link here
Galapagos, Ecuador
Ecoventura Ecuador
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- The Galápagos Islands is generally considered a low crime region, being safer than the Ecuadorian mainland. This means that race relations are good, and Black travelers will be perfectly able to explore this tropical paradise without a problem. The local community values and safeguards visitors, and there are rarely, if any, attacks on tourist boats or cruises.
Ecoventura | Galapagos, Ecuador
Named after Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution and Origin of the Species, Ecoventura’s 20-passenger, 10-cabin mega-yachts Origin, Theory & Evolve are the chicest and most exclusive way to experience one of humanity’s final frontiers. The only Relais & Chateaux-ranked ships to sail in the destination, Ecoventura offers guests a week of once-in-a-lifetime experiences in the height of luxury – think swimming with sea turtles, sunbathing with baby sea lions, coming face-to-face with the famous blue-footed boobies and strolling alongside Giant Galapagos Tortoises… all aboard what is more like a floating boutique hotel than a cruise!
The Deal: Ecoventura’s sails are so limited and exclusive that they rarely ever go on sale. However, they are offering 20% off select 2025 cruise departures for Black Friday/Cyber Monday shoppers when you book between November 29-December 6, 2024. That is a$2100 per person savings off the published rate of $10,500 per person for double occupancy rooms. Or if 2025 is the year you take on the solo adventure of a lifetime, Ecoventura is also offering an extra special solo offering of only $12,950 per cabin for single travelers (that is $6,050 in savings).
Key West, Florida
Southernmost Beach Resort
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WHY TRAVEL HERE:
- One of the most iconic LGBTQIA+ travel destinations, super tolerant and welcoming
- Super safe for nightlife and solo travelers
- It is one of the most welcoming multicultural towns in the entire country
- There’s a lot of hidden Black history here
Southernmost Beach Resort | Key West, FL
Situated on the quieter southern limit of the famed Duval Street, Southernmost Beach Resort features a modern, sleek design with classic coastal charm. Following a comprehensive transformation to an elevated destination experience in the heart of historic Key West, Florida, the resort features 296 guest rooms, including the newly renovated Guesthouses - four meticulously restored 19th-century Victorian homes for adult-only accommodations and shared community spaces like a cozy parlor bar and beachfront deck. Guests enjoy full access to Southernmost Beach Resort’s extensive luxury amenities, including three pools, bars, a spa, retail spaces, a private beach, and the renowned Southernmost Beach Cafe.
The Deal: 35% off all room types + $50 resort credit (for direct bookings only). Book dates are from November 19 - December 4, 2024, for stays between November 21 - December 31, 2025.
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Phase Of Life: I Thought I Was Falling Apart—Then I Learned What Was Really Happening To Me
When it was announced, “Class of 2023, you may now turn your tassels to the left,” that was the moment I realized s**t just got real. Even in the midst of celebrating with family, friends, and professors who had watched my personal and academic growth over the past three-ish years, I was already thinking about how excited I was for my next chapter.
To avoid making others feel more pressure about their post-grad plans than they already did, I withheld revealing that I’d already secured a full-time job six months before graduating and I’d gotten accepted to graduate school. I didn’t know that this lack of celebrating my accomplishments would impact how I’d embrace special moments in the future.
As I continued navigating my way through my post-grad journey, I found things in my life began to get harder and harder. It was one challenge after the next: I was adjusting to a new day-to-day routine. A romantic relationship drastically ended. I lost friends I thought I’d have forever. I had to grieve the loss of a loved one.
It was as if someone had abruptly stopped the record on the player, and the confused look you’d usually see on people’s faces was exactly how I looked after coming to my second realization that this was the worst I’d felt in a long time, if not ever.
Like everyone else, I’d previously experienced sad moments and life stressors related to my personal and professional life, but for some reason, this time felt different.
Even in my own strength of distracting myself with self-care tactics and support from friends, nothing seemed to stop my constant tears or heart from aching. Before long, I was waving my white flag at God and decided that these burdens were just too heavy for me to carry on my own. Therapy was something I was already familiar with, but I hadn’t scheduled it into my new life yet.
After the standard get-to-know-you sessions, it was time to get to the nitty gritty with my therapist. What’s really going on? Nothing could’ve prepared me for what she had to say next.
'Phase of Life' and Adjustment Disorder
When the words “phase of life,” escaped from my therapist’s mouth, it surprisingly felt more enlightening than heavy. Sure, I felt like I was spiraling, and nothing connected to me seemed to be going well, but at that point, I knew what was going on with me.
Associated with the "phase of life," adjustment disorder is something I had to discuss with my therapist to talk about what the next steps for me looked like.
After doing this, I felt reassured but nervous. I’d never been diagnosed with anything mental health-related before and didn’t want this to be the starting point of a cycle that I wouldn’t be able to get out of.
According to Healthline, adjustment disorder is a person’s temporary grouping of conditions in response to a stressful life occurrence. This can usually be seen as multiple events that have happened back to back or a singular event that’s taken a larger precedent. I personally experienced adjustment disorder with anxiety and a depressed mood, proving itself to be impacting my life more than I'd realized.
So many times as Gen Zers, we get told the generic rhetoric of, “You’re so young. Just live your life,” or “You have so much life to live. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.” In reality, not only do I not feel that way, but it honestly just makes my feelings stronger and leads to a desire to constantly prove myself, especially as a Black woman.
The pressure and expectations surrounding being well-established and accomplished are always the heaviest burden.
Dr. Judith Joseph, a clinical psychiatrist and author of High Functioning, believes that post-grad depression is synonymous with adjustment disorder and that the condition is not confined to a specific age group or demographic. “In certain situations, let's say, college students, they tend to have more adjustment issues because they're going from one situation, like being at home, being cared for, to being completely independent, so to speak, in a new setting, and around new friends, not around family,” she said.
Early signs of adjustment disorder may look like feelings of hopelessness, avoidance of friends or family, or even feelings of anxiety and crying often— all of which I was experiencing. “Adjustment disorder can come as the depressed type or the anxious type. If you have the depressed type, you're gonna have symptoms of depression, like low mood, low energy, poor concentration, guilt, hopelessness, problems with your appetite. … The anxious type will have symptoms of an anxiety disorder, like stomach ache, headache, breathing fast, worrying, palpitations, [and] inability to relax.”
Adjustment Disorder, Social Media, and Gaining Understanding
These symptoms can also get heightened with the usage of social media as many people compare their lives to others.
While seeing others’ success can be inspiring, it can also be detrimental to one’s authentic journey by trying to emulate or align themselves with societal expectations, values, and beliefs. “The difference between adjustment disorder with anxious symptoms is that when the stressor goes away or the person becomes accustomed to the situation, the symptoms go away. But if it's more persistent, then it's likely not related to a stressor. It's a persistent condition like generalized anxiety disorder,” Joseph added.
When getting diagnosed with adjustment disorder, it is recommended to implement stronger levels of self-care along with finding supportive people around you, such as friends, family, and colleagues, to help you through the transition.
What was also helpful for me in my journey was being more patient with myself in those tougher times, giving myself grace, and humanizing myself. The superhero complex of Black womanhood, in my lens, does not start at the legal age of 18. It begins with the first iterations you have of female figures in your life. Your mother, grandmother, aunts, sisters— all of these women in some way demonstrated the example of saving everyone else and only sometimes putting themselves on the check-in list, if ever.
While it sounds taboo to some to take your mental health seriously, I’ve learned that doing so not only saves your life but the lives of those around you.
Joseph recommends not only being aware of your personal and family mental health history but also determining ways to avoid taking on so much at once. “The other thing you can do is if in preparation for a big change, try not to make so many different changes happen at once,” she said. “So I've had patients who they're not only moving to a new place, but they're starting a new job and it’s like that's a lot of change. And then they're like, ‘Well, maybe it's time to break up with my boyfriend.’ … You may wanna spread out your change.”
She also recommended being proactive toward the impact of life changes by giving a heads-up to those around you. Whether this be family, friends, or a significant other, being able to lean on others during times of transition makes a difference, especially as someone who may have experienced this before. The symptoms of the disorder can return with another big life change.
In the words of Megan Thee Stallion, “Bad b**ches have bad days too,” and this reigns true for me now more than ever.
My character, demeanor, and core as a person don’t change just because of a bad season or hard times. The confidence I have in high moments should be the same level of confidence I have in other areas of my life. As I continue on this journey of self-growth, life changes, and knowledge of the world around me, I’m reminded of where I started on the road to getting where I want to be.
The bounce back is always going to happen, but there’s a difference between a bad day and a bad life, and hard times don’t last forever. It just feels like forever in the moment.
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