It seems like 2023 was a whirlwind, flying by a bit too quickly for many of us. And now that we're approaching the last month of the year, there's a push to prep for a great 2024. I'm not a huge fan of resolutions---as I never keep mine, and I'm unapologetically not sorry for that---but I'm heavy into at least getting a head start on looking forward to the possibilities of a fresh start, finally achieving a few lingering goals, and embracing more adventure.
If you're ready to plan ahead, it's the perfect time to make December count in order to plan for a successful new year. Here are a few fun ideas to get you started.
1. Host a reflection party.
Hey, you could do this alone, but you could also make it fun and interactive by inviting friends or industry friends to reflect on the highs and the lows of the year. Create a theme, offer customized cocktails, and talk about what each of you has accomplished, reminisce on the fun times you've had, talk about the challenges you've faced, and set a few goals. Add in a few fun activities like vision boarding or career mapping.
You could also have one last girls trip and attend a conference or networking event together. After each session, take the time to put on pajamas and reflect on what was learned, who you met, and how you'll apply pressure in your careers next year.
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2. Declutter and reorganize.
If you haven't been purging throughout the year, December is a great time to get a head start. All those old clothes or shoes that you don't wear? Sell or donate them. If you need help, have a consultation with a professional organizer or watch a few good tutorials on Konmari methods.
Still holding on to furniture, appliances, or other home decor that really isn't functional, doesn't scream home for you, or needs an upgrade? Go thrifting, shop around, or treat yourself to interior decorating services.
If you can't afford to do any of those, move a few things around, repurpose your household items, or try DIYs. Sometimes a bit of paint or moving your home office into a different room can be small changes that lead to big differences in mood or convenience at home.
And, as mentioned before, invite a few friends, family, or bae, and make it another excuse to close out the year with good drinks, laughter, and connection.
3. Create a bucket list.
From your career to your personal life, it's good to write down your dream or must-do activities to get clear on what you want to accomplish in the new year and to serve as a nudge for accomplishment. And it doesn't have to be grand goals like "Save a million dollars," (though, if that's a bucket-list contender for you, go off, sis, and get that money.) It can be places you want to travel to, concerts you want to attend, professional development courses you want to take, or new adventurous experiences you want to enjoy.
One thing I like about bucket lists is that I don't approach them in the traditional way, where I feel pressure to do these things before the Lord calls me home. I like to think of a bucket list as a fun guideline that will help me get clear on what excites me, what I need to do to grow, and what challenges me to push past self-inflicted boundaries.
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4. Prioritize wellness.
If you've slacked off a bit or know you might be facing a few issues in the health and wellness department, now is the time to start prioritizing. Set those last appointments for a full physical, gynecological, or dermatologist visit, follow-up tests, or therapy for next year. Sign up for fun fitness classes and schedule a few visits to the spa while you're at it.
Block out time in your schedule for meditation, prayer, religious services, and exercise, and go ahead and change that calendar setting to "daily" or "weekly." Set email updates and other ways to remind yourself to put wellness at the top of your priority list leading into the new year.
If you're already pretty consistent with your fitness and wellness goals, try a new activity or incorporate new technology to level up a bit and challenge yourself more. Try a new skincare routine, join a running group, or learn a new activity that requires movement, such as dance, karate, or boxing. Mix things up a bit so that you can enrich your experience on the journey.
5. Take an honest look at your finances and adjust accordingly.
If you're reading this, I'm sure you know the importance and power of budgeting, no matter how much money you make. Getting into a habit of knowing exactly how much you earn and how you're spending those earnings is vital to your success and financial freedom. If you have goals for next year that will require a significant shift in your budget, you'll need to adjust.
Be realistic and account for the things you enjoy doing, your lifestyle, your debts, and your other financial obligations. If you have vacations or other big events planned, be sure your budget accommodates them or set goals in order to save up. If you've experienced a major transition such as a marriage, divorce, or addition to your family, take some time to reflect on how your income is impacted and what you might need to do to ease the transition when it comes to your pockets.
Research ways you can make residual income, how you can invest, start a side hustle, and prep for retirement. (As much as some of you would like to think you're too young to think about that, imagine how much more of a nest egg you'd have if you started saving for retirement in your 20s or 30s.)
And don't sleep on insurance beyond coverage for your car or healthcare. Life, long-term care, and disability insurance are important if you have children, want to be sure your loved ones are taken care of financially in the future, or if you want to protect assets such as your income, home, or business.
Think about your prep for next year holistically and start this December to ensure that you're going into 2024 with a mindset and intention for success.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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“I mean, even the Bible mentions a green bed in the Song of Solomon.”
And indeed, it does. Song of Solomon 1:16 (NKJV), the Black woman (Song of Solomon 1:5) known as the Shulamite said, “Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also, our bed is green.” I absolutely adore that because I know what green symbolizes. It represents things like health, fertility, rebirth, growth, and peace, and for a woman to say that the bed that she shares with her lover is filled with all of those things…I mean, how awesome is that?
It's also a great way to intro the topic for today — color psychology. Not just that, but how you actually can use it to make your sex life better. If your curiosity is piqued, read on to find out how you can use certain hues to cultivate a sexier atmosphere in your own life.
Color Psychology. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so sincepsychology is the study of the mind and how humans behave because of it,color psychology is about how our minds respond and react to various hues. Although some people are somewhat unconvinced that color psychology is a “real thing,” there is enough research and data that’s available to support its validity.
For instance, one of the reasons why high-end hotels go with white sheets for their bedding is because white represents things like purity, cleanliness, and even luxury. One reason why many of us wear black to funerals is because black symbolizes things like formality and death. If whenever you go to a spa, you notice a lot of blue, that could be because that color is all about peace, tranquility, and trust.
Although the science behind color psychology is semi-complex, the main reason why color has the ability to affect us in the way that it does is because of the way that our eyes and brain interact with certain lights and wavelengths. In other words, each color causes our brains to either absorb light or reflect it, and based on what our brain does in response to all of this, that has a direct impact on our moods.
For example, when we process something as being the color yellow, it can provide us with a surge of energy, while if we process something as being red, it can literally increase our heart rate and adrenaline levels. And this is why you may notice classrooms that are painted yellow or why you may have noticed that red is considered to be a sexually stimulating hue.
Speaking of red, this would be a good of a time as any to segue into why it and certain other colors have the ability to influence and even improve your sex life.
Colors That Work As an “Aphrodisiac”
GiphyWhen it comes to certain colors having an aphrodisiac effect, since I just mentioned red, let’s start with it.
If you were to poll a group of people about a color that they would consider to be the absolute sexiest, there’s a pretty good chance that red would top the list. That’s because it is associated with things like love, passion, energy, excitement, and desire.
In fact, one study revealed that men find red to be the sexiest color to the point where almost 60 percent of them were more inclined to ask a woman out if she happened to have that color on. Not only that, but if women were standing in front of a red backdrop, most of the men in the study automatically found them to be more attractive.
Something else that’s interesting about the color red is “…it's not just men, but women, too, who see women who dress in red as more overtly sexual and open to having sex.” So clearly, if you want to be seen in a sensual way, wearing red (even if it’s just red lipstick) is something that you should consider doing.
Is red the only sexually stimulating hue out here, though? Nope. Aside from green, which I mentioned in the intro:
- Orange represents creativity and enthusiasm
- Purple represents luxury and spirituality
- Black represents mystery and elegance
- Pink represents femininity and playfulness
- Brown represents warmth and comfort
While keeping all of this in mind, now that you know that even science backs that color can mentally and emotionally affect you, when it comes to your sex life, it’s important to select shades that will influence the vibe that you want to give in order to receive the results that you want. For instance, do you want a passionate night? You might want to go with red.
On the other hand, if you’d like to experience a little of what I call “comfort sex” (check out “What Is 'Comfy Sex'? How Can You Get More Of It?”), you might want to bring some brown into the picture. Interesting how each shade can bring about something different, right?
How to Use Color to Improve the Quality of Your Sex Life
GiphyOkay, sonow that you know that there is some straight-up legitimacy that comes with incorporating color into, not just your life, but your bedroom (activities) as well, let’s briefly explore a few practical ways that you can do just that.
Sleepwear. Sometimes, the topic of lingerie comes up with my clients (check out “Lingerie Hacks: How To Choose The Best Kind For Your Body Type”). When it does, I will recommend that the wife wear something that is in her husband’s favorite color — because if she’s already in something that’s hella sexy, if it’s also in a color that he really likes, that can cause his eyes to light up all the more!
However, when it comes to color psychology, specifically, if you want to get your partner to try something new, maybe an orange teddy will subconsciously convey the message. Bottom line here, try wearing something in the color that represents the kind of night you want to have — and see if it helps to push things into that direction.
Bedding.A firm mattress. Some breathable bedding (like cotton or sateen). Scented sheets. All of this can play a seductive role in having a great night with your bae — and so can selecting sheets that are of a particular color. For this one, you might want to go with a darker hue like purple or even charcoal because they both can make you feel extravagant — and since one definition of that word is “going beyond bounds” — well…I’ll leave that to your imagination. #wink
Lighting. This one just might surprise you. Although you might automatically think that going with something like a red light bulb is the best route to take on the “set the mood” lighting tip, you actually should opt for brown instead. I actuallyread an article that said in a lot of sex scenes from popular movies (like Fifty Shades of Grey), brown was used because it’s a very inviting color. Hmph, when you think about the warm'n'cozy thing, that definitely tracks.
Footwear. When you get a chance, check out TIME’s “Science Proves It: Men Really Do Find High Heels Sexier.” When I shared it with a few “feet men” that I know and asked them if this also applies to sex, each of them said that they are super turned on by women who wear stilettos in the bedroom. I was told that they like it because it makes their legs look longer, it’s unbelievably feminine, and if it’s even erotic. The best color to go with? Black is a classic choice — and since it also symbolizes things like power and authority, if you want to be a bit dominant tonight, a black pump will certainly help to get the message across.
Lipstick. And yes, the lips. A little over a year ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “The Secret To The Ultimate Oral Sex Experience? Lip Gloss.” When you get a chance, check it out and then think about applying a coat of it to some red or pink lips. It will make your lips look unbelievably sensual and will be sure to ramp up his desire for you…even more.
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When it comes to having a truly fulfilling sex life, it doesn’t always take a lot of effort. Sometimes, just the change of color can make it happen. At least, that’s what science says.
Try a new color — then report back about which one worked best for you.
I can’t wait to hear it. #wink
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