Motivation is a recurring theme in life, as it acts as a driving force behind our actions. Oftentimes, motivation is most commonly discussed in conjunction with bigger life habits, like the motivation behind clocking in at work or putting in some time on the treadmill at the gym. But by definition, motivation is indicative of our needs, wants, desires, and even our urges. So, whether we realize it or not, the decision we made between kicks and heels for our outfit of the day today, the choice behind our early morning drink order, or what we decided to have for lunch -- these choices are also fueled by motivation.
In collaboration with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD, founder, and CEO of Gemma and author of Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness, Peloton recently unveiled five motivation languages we can apply to wellness. Inspired by Gary Chapman's love languages, motivation languages act as a way to help people tap into the things that drive them and ultimately move them to, well, move. And although the motivation languages denote one's approach to health and well-being, these languages transcend to encompass how we approach our lives as a whole as well. “Motivation is key not only when it comes to fitness routines, but also in daily decision making -- understanding our ‘why’ helps us feel connected to ourselves," Dr. Lakshmin tells xoNecole.
"The motivation languages offer a way for people to engage in deeper conversations with themselves and find out what will positively impact them as they approach fitness and wellness. Fueling our bodies and minds with things that we know will encourage and motivate us is how we can truly care for ourselves."
The motivation languages were crafted based on findings from a five-market research study conducted by Peloton. Through that research, they discovered that motivation was something 7 out of 10 survey respondents said made them feel like they could accomplish anything. Additionally, through those findings, Peloton learned that motivation looks different for different people. From there, with the help of Dr. Lakshmin, they founded the five foundational motivation languages:
- Having Fun
- Achieving Goals
- Building Community
- Positive Affirmations
- Tough Love
To learn more about motivation languages and how we can apply them to our wellness journeys this year and beyond, xoNecole chatted with Dr. Lakshmin and Peloton Instructor Matty Maggiacomo. Keep reading for more.
How to Identify Your Primary Motivation Language
Dr. Lakshmin believes that motivation language allows us to take back our power and bring self-care back into our own hands. But how do we learn which motivation language belongs to us? Similar to love languages, Dr. Lakshmin suggests identifying your primary motivation language by asking yourself questions about what you like and don't like as it relates to motivation and the descriptions for the motivation languages.
The 5 Motivation Languages, According to Peloton
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1. Having Fun
According to Peloton, Having Fun is about enjoying yourself, relaxing, letting loose, and having a good time. Movement is more about how it makes you feel than how it makes you look, and you are motivated by ease and pleasure in your approach to fitness and wellness. As a mantra, Dr. Lakshmin says, "I'm the best version of myself when I am relaxed and carefree."
Maggiacomo notes that there are a plethora of Peloton workouts from various instructors to choose from that fit your motivation language. For Having Fun, he advises "Callie Gullickson for a dynamic strength class."
2. Achieving Goals
"Achieving Goals" means you experience motivation through performing your 'best,' reaching milestones, and meeting the performance goals you have for yourself. As a goal-oriented person, your mantra for this motivation language could be, "Nothing feels better to me than a job well done." And for a workout that speaks your motivation language, Maggiacomo tells xoNecole, "Camila Ramón has the best 15-minute en Español ride."
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3. Building Community
As a motivation language, building community means exactly that - fostering a sense of community around your approach to wellness. Your motivation comes from connecting with others and inviting family and friends to make wellness and fitness a collaborative effort. A mantra for you might be: "I feel my best when I'm connected to others who are working toward similar goals."
"If Building Community is your vibe, Ben Alldis brings everyone together with his 30-minute classic rock rides," Maggiacomo reveals.
4. Positive Affirmations
It should come as no surprise, but if your motivation language is positive affirmations, it means that your motivation thrives when you are positively affirmed. Encouragement, positivity, and kindness go a long way for you, when it comes from others but also when it comes from within. Dr. Lakshmin's mantra for you is, "I am worthy of showing up for myself."
Maggiacomo adds, "I am a big believer of Positive Affirmations, so if that speaks to your language you can either try a 60-minute Gospel Walk with Kirsten Ferguson or a 30-minute Pop Run with me."
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5. Tough Love
If you resonate most with tough love as your motivation language, this means that you are motivated by structure and have a no-BS approach to wellness and fitness. Hard work is not a deterrent, it's a motivator. In fact, "regimen" is your middle name. A mantra for you would be, "Hard work pays off in the long run." Maggiacomo's Peloton class pick for Tough Love? The fitness instructor recommends the 30-minute Tabata ride offered by fellow instructor Olivia Amato.
Check out the Peloton App for more classes to choose from and find out more about Motivation Language on Peloton’s Pinterest page.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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