Shaunie Henderson isn’t new to the game. The mother of five was thrust into the public spotlight behind the shadow of a famous husband, endured merciless rumor mills, and rebuilt her life on her own terms while the world plotted on her downfall. Today, she’s a one-woman empire, having spawned a cultural revolution with the reality series Basketball Wives, as well as the six spinoff shows created in its wake.
Lauded by some and critiqued by others, Henderson’s brainchild launched the careers of women who, too, were once lost behind the romantic figures in their lives. Allowing larger-than-life personalities like Tami Roman, Jackie Christie, Evelyn Lozada, and Draya Michele to create lucrative careers of their own. Lifting the veil of the once-only glamorized life of those linked to the world’s most famous athletes was a risk and often left Henderson in the crossfire of criticism. However, the show’s longevity—11 seasons and counting—speaks for itself.
In 2022, the mogul married Pastor Keion Henderson of The Lighthouse Church, marking a new chapter in her life and bringing about a new chorus of dissenters. What did she know about being a first lady? About as much as she knew about executive producing a hit TV series back in 2010, one would guess. Nonetheless, she boldly stepped into another spotlight, never cowered, and embraced her position in a world that never planned to accept her.
Now, with the release of her memoir Undefeated, the multi-hyphenate adds author to her resume in a major way. Aside from the headlines, the book offers a real look into the making of a modern Renaissance woman whose resilience is key to her success. Having sidestepped every offense thrown her way, Henderson has proven time and time again that she plays by her own rules. And, more often than not, she wins.
xoNecole spoke to Shaunie ahead of the book’s release about what she’s learned on her journey, her favorite Basketball Wives moments, and what she would tell her younger self.
xoNecole: Why choose to be so deeply personal at this point in your life?
Shaunie Henderson: It was a bit therapeutic for me. I think just being able to write down things that I never actually talked about made me more comfortable. I started the journey of writing this book, probably around 2018 and I stopped out of fear. I picked it back up on and off. And finally just decided to knock it out and see how I feel about it. I just felt good writing about everything, finally. I think that as I wrote it, I realized I wished somebody had told me some of these things a little earlier in life. Maybe, I would have done better and made smarter decisions. I know I needed to go through my journey so that I could end up exactly where I am right now, but I also think that with a little guidance, your journey can be a little easier.
xoN: You share a lot about what you’ve learned along the way in 'Undefeated' but if there’s one thing that has been the most pivotal to where you are today, what would be that thing?
SH: You're not always going to come out on top, but I really live by the name of my book, Undefeated. It’s how I feel about anything that I enter into. It can be kind of addicting to have that feeling of being undefeated and just wanting to win all the time. But you got to realize that the experience, the journey, and the opportunity whether win, lose, or draw— it's never a loss. You never lose. You gain something out of it, even if it's just the wisdom of knowing what not to do.
xoN: When you're in the public eye, people tend to write their own narratives about who you are. Is there a certain level of freedom in knowing that sometimes you can't change people's minds no matter what you do?
SH: I think that comes eventually. There was a time that I very much cared, and it would bother me. When I first started Basketball Wives, everyone was on Twitter saying exactly what they felt, and they used to eat me up. I would be in the comments arguing with people. It’s easy to think that you just “don’t care,” but you just develop thick skin after a while. At this point in the game, I’m numb to it. Plus, I am absolutely positively convinced that people love content with no context. They want to take five words out of a sentence of 12, make it into what they want so they can have an opinion online, argue with people in the comments, and get more attention that day than they’ve had all month.
What I do care about are the opinions of those I genuinely love and care about. I care about their perspective.
xoN: One thing you bravely address in the book is the personal cost of the lifestyle that a lot of people covet. What advice would you give to a young Shaunie or any woman who might be looking at certain lifestyles, desiring that, and not understanding what comes with it?
SH: If I was talking to the younger Shaunie and I was in the same situation, I would just say, ‘Don't forget you.’ I got lost, and I didn't realize I was drowning in that shadow. I just never established anything for me. I didn't establish a business. I didn't establish a purpose. I wasn't even looking for one and didn't know how to find one. I was a mom of five, a wife, and all those things. And it was great. But there were times where I was just bored out of my mind. So I would encourage young me to realize that I still matter. And that I have to put myself in a position to realize my purpose. I would go after some goals and career aspirations. You have to fight for those and really push for them when you’re in a situation where it’s easy to get comfortable.
I would have also put something aside for me that wasn’t given to me. I would have established some level of independence. Because when it’s cut off, it’s over.
"I got lost, and I didn't realize I was drowning in that shadow. I just never established anything for me. I didn't establish a business. I didn't establish a purpose. I wasn't even looking for one and didn't know how to find one. I was a mom of five, a wife, and all those things. And it was great. But there were times where I was just bored out of my mind. So I would encourage young me to realize that I still matter. And that I have to put myself in a position to realize my purpose."
xoN: There was a significant time between your first marriage and your current one. What behaviors did you have to unlearn in order to enter into a healthy relationship?
SH: I had to learn how to soften myself and allow my husband to lead me. I had to let him be a gentleman. I was single for a long time and became totally dependent on only myself. I didn't have anybody opening my car door and making sure that gas was in my car or that it was washed. Things were done around the house because I either told my sons to do it or did it myself. So to have a man in my life that made me feel so safe and secure, I just became real dainty. Women need to have that trust in their partner.
xoN: You’ve occupied a lot of spaces in your life in a non-traditional way. For example, you wrote about not treating new basketball wives and girlfriends the way that you were treated or not being what people think a “first lady” should be in the religious sector. How much of that is intentional?
SH: I think that's just who I am. I can’t say I intentionally go against the grain. In the book, I talk about things from my childhood, like my dad being late all the time. I was totally opposite with my kids when they were in school. I was always there early. My mother is not affectionate, and she doesn't verbally say, ‘I love you,’ but she does things to let you know. That's the way she shows her love.
But because I missed that 'I love you' and hugging and kissing, I do that with my kids. I try to always give what I needed myself. There were basketball wives who weren’t very nice to me, so I went out of my way to make sure that once I was a wife that I didn't treat anybody else like that. No one was going to feel like that on my watch.
xoN: I imagine it’s a little more difficult to establish your own rhythm in a church setting.
SH: As far as being first lady, now, I'm not knocking how any first ladies decide to operate but I just knew that the idea of what that usually is was not me. And, to be honest, rightfully so. I'm probably the only first lady that created a reality show that has been on television since 2010. My life is not remotely close to that of most first ladies. We've experienced completely different things. Most of them have been pastor’s wives for a long time, this is all new for me. I come with an entirely different journey; that wouldn’t lend itself to being a traditional first lady.
xoN: 'Basketball Wives' has always been heavily criticized for its portrayal of women on the show. It’s not the first or only of its kind, but what do you think gives way to the ire that this show, specifically, gets?
SH: We just tend to tear our own people up for whatever reason. When I started Basketball Wives, it was really a matter of survival for me. I was in desperation mode. I needed the show to be successful because I had to figure out how I was going to live and provide a life for my children. Basketball Wives is a platform and it is a space for women to have the freedom to be and say and do what represents them. And what that is, is their decision, right? I just provided the platform for it to happen.
I knew that I had lost my voice before, and I wanted to provide a space to ensure that other women didn’t lose theirs. Again, what they decided to do with the camera time and who they decided to show up as is on them, but here's the platform, and I think for many women, it has been just that. It’s boosted them into a space in their life where they're able to make money and branch out into other opportunities that they may not have had otherwise.
"When I started Basketball Wives, it was really a matter of survival for me. I was in desperation mode. I needed the show to be successful because I had to figure out how I was going to live and provide a life for my children. Basketball Wives is a platform and it is a space for women to have the freedom to be and say and do what represents them. And what that is, is their decision, right? I just provided the platform for it to happen."
xoN: So what have been your most cherished 'Basketball Wives' moments?
SH: It was probably the day after the infamous fight between Tami Roman and Evelyn Lozada. Evelyn had coined the “non-mf factor” phrase, and production had broken up their fight the night before. Me and her were on the beach, and Tami called to see what I was up to. I told her I was with Evelyn, and she said she was coming to meet us. I'm thinking I'm about to be in part two. There's no security, we were off for the day and I was sure it was about to be horrible. Tami gets there. She’s already got her cigarette lit, her bob is bouncing as she walks up to us, and I just remember her saying, ‘What y’all heffas doing?’ It was just like nothing had happened at all. It was like they fought, they got it out, and she was off to the next thing.
Those type of moments I wish people could experience and see that although things happen that seem outrageous, it’s all love. It doesn't always end up perfect. But for the most part, we have had a really, really good time.
xoN: Lastly, what do you want people to walk away from 'Undefeated' understanding about Shaunie?
SH: That my resilience has shaped me into the Shaunie I am today. And I honestly believe that it's all in God's timing. We might not understand it as it's happening, but he does all things perfect. I can sit back now and be the happiest version of myself that I've ever been, with the understanding that it was just God's timing. It all had to happen the way it happened because now I'm enjoying where I am. And I would have never been able to accomplish being as intentional about everything that I do without the journey that I experienced to get here.
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Feature image by Keith Majors
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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Feature image by Earl Gibson III/Shutterstock