Tami Roman On Changing Your Attitude When Your Behavior Doesn't Match Your Blessing

Thank God I don't look like what I've been through, because a lot like the woman reading this, I've been through some sh*t. I'm a chronic sufferer of impostor syndrome, and there have been times when my behavior didn't match my blessing; what I mean by that is, the way that I was acting certainly didn't match the opportunity that I had been given. I think we've all been in a position where our favor didn't match our feelings, and according to Tami Roman's recent interview on the D.L. Hugley show, she can totally relate.

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If you took a look at Tami Roman's reality TV presence a decade ago, you would think that she was a foul language-using, cigarette smoking, wig snatching diva whose bad side you would never, ever want to get on; but when you judge a book by its cover, you miss some pretty valuable chapters on the inside. According to Tami, most of the reality show drama that we've seen circulating over the years is on an overt exaggeration of what's really going down:

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"If you take any circle of friends and you put a camera in their face all of the time, inevitably there's going to be one situation where something goes down, right? So for us, we're filming for six, seven months at a time and production's waiting on that one moment that that happens so that that is what is they can use for the super trailer, that's what they can make the whole season about, and it's unfortunate because they don't show enough balance of us getting along."

As entertaining as reality TV can be, it's important to remember that reality stars are real people who experience loss, heartbreak, and pain just like the rest of us. After the death of her mother in 2013, Tami said that she took time to do some serious self-evaluation and the image she saw looking back at her wasn't one she was proud of:

"The responsibility that I took within myself was, I watched myself. Just like everybody else watched, I watched myself. I said, 'Okay, so since you guys aren't going to show the other side and all the wonderful things I do with philanthropy, and my charities and my children and my relationship with my mom, then I'm going to make the changes. I'm going to be in control of the narrative. I had to take responsibility for the imagery that I was putting out."

Ultimately, she decided that she was not happy with the picture that had been painted of her by the media, and took an active role in changing her own narrative. In a post on Instagram, Tami wrote:

"I absolutely did what I did but once I became cognizant of the one dimensional presentation year after year, I opted to shift the narrative for myself (especially after my mom passed). People always try to skew what I say to be an attack on something that blessed me. It's not."

I may regret the mistakes of my past, but I am not ashamed of them. Every misstep I made was me taking one step further into my destiny, and every obstacle I faced turned into an opportunity. The sh*t that didn't break me made me, and Tami Roman has a similar mentality when it came to reevaluating her priorities and realizing the queen she was born to be.

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The now 49-year-old entrepreneur said that her lifestyle change was less about ignoring her past and more about creating a legacy that would properly honor the responsibility she's been given, and that's a whole message. When Tami Roman realized that her behavior wasn't matching her blessings, she knew it was time to make a change with a quickness. She continued:

"It's me acknowledging I wasn't flowing properly within the blessing and I wanted to be responsible and change… not only for me but for the people impacted through viewing."

You may not be a reality star, but just like Tami, you were given both a platform and a purpose. Make sure you're using them in a way that's in alignment with your assignment.

Featured image by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images