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14 Affirmations To Say To Yourself When You Feel Like Giving Up
We are currently eight months in 2020 and as we prepare to enter this new season, I know you are present with your pen and paper writing out your list on what you've accomplished so far and what you still need to check off. Most of us were full steam ahead with our resolutions until Miss Rona knocked on our doors with a "hey, sis." As such, we are still adjusting to what the "new normal" looks like for us.
Some of us have used this downtime to revamp while others like me are biting nails as we watch the growing numbers of positive cases on CNN, and look around whenever we hear someone cough—dealing with anxiety and fear of the unknown. Intermingled with that worry, many of us are having concerns with balancing the home and work life as our regular routines shattered with challenges with creating new habits. At any rate, our lives were definitely shaken up to say the least and 2020 feels like the year that delivers blow after blow after blow. When met with anxiety and overwhelm, loss, uncertainty, worry, and financial stress, it can be easy to feel like giving up. To help combat those inevitable low moments, something that could prove to be beneficial is speaking life over yourself through affirmations.
14 Affirmations For When You Feel Like Giving Up
I will be present in every moment.
Focus on the task at hand. Sometimes we get excited about completing a goal that we don't enjoy the journey. When you feel overwhelmed or have negative self-talk, being present in the moment can shift your focus on what's in front of you.
I have the power to change my story.
That's the beauty of your life. It is yours, and you have the power to do whatever you want with it. That is the ultimate power and freedom. You can change your story within seconds. Realize that power and use it for good.
Everything I'm looking for I can find within me.
Have you ever asked your friend for advice but you already know what to do? Were you looking for confirmation? Ignoring outside opinions in lieu of trusting your gut and instincts, you will increase your self-confidence in knowing what you need to do and what it takes to get it done.
I love myself enough to push through.
Sometimes the most difficult tasks and decisions will test you and require you to dig a little deeper, stay up a little longer, or even get in one more squat for your summer body. It all boils down to the love and commitment you're willing to give to yourself.
Great things never come from my comfort zone.
It's time to say no to things that don't serve you and start saying yes to something that can elevate you. Nothing is wrong with being playing it safe. However, in order to grow, you must push past being passive in reaching your goals and start being active. Coming out of our comfort zones reveals a side of us that we didn't know existed. Let's be honest, "old ways won't open new doors."
Something amazing is about to happen to me.
You probably can't see it, touch it, taste it, or feel it, but you are so close. To reach any goal, you have to fake it until you make it. Saying it fifty times a day will give you all the confidence to embrace all the good that will happen in our life.
I thoroughly let go and trust in divine timing.
Things happen when they're supposed to happen, and not when you're ready for them to arrive. While attending to your goals, you are building your character along the way. Letting go and trusting the process will alleviate any anxiety and stress you may be feeling during this time. The point is that you have to keep going. When the time does arrive, you can and will appreciate it more.
I accomplish anything I focus on.
It's easy to get distracted during these current times. If we focus long and hard enough, we can get things done, whether it takes hours, days, or years. Setting time aside, meditating, and praying will impact your focus and motivation to complete your goals.
I choose prosperity over failure.
Don't allow Miss Rona to step on your toes and get in your way. You've come too far. Put those Pinterest boards to good use and hit the ground running. You can't fail, and you aren't giving yourself room to fail. You've come too far to give up now.
I release all negativity.
Are your thoughts motivating you or intimidating you to throw in the towel? What is popping up on your timeline? Sometimes to complete the tasks we deem necessary, we have to let go of something until the mission is complete temporarily.
I am always headed in the right direction.
When diving into something new, you will often second-guess yourself or jump in the pool of self-sabotage. But, everything you've worked for so far is leading you in the direction of your goals. The journey wasn't perfect; it may not have looked like your peers' journeys, but you are on the path to success as long as you know that you were forever in the right direction.
I honor my commitments and promises.
You've spent weeks and months conjuring up the plan to put things in motion to complete your goals finally. You've already made the verbal agreement with yourself. To keep your promises to yourself, you've signed your name on the dotted line and are committed to this journey.
I am running a marathon at my own pace and aim at the finish line.
Before you compare and contrast your journey with your peers, it is essential to recognize what sacrifices you're willing to make, to dig deep and to figure out what your goals indeed are. Other people's success can be discouraging and make you question your path. If you focus on the task at hand, the finish line can become apparent and more tangible. You are a winner for even trying, getting started, and executing.
I have the power to overcome hardships.
Let's face it. You'll endure more lows than highs during this time. The small wins and victories also come with epic fails and humps to get over. It would help if you reminded yourself that you would prevail. You will overcome this. You will win.
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Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Every season is bob season, right? Whether you’re a protective style, curly, or relaxed-hair girly, a bob unites us all. It’s arguably earned the title of most popular, just like finger waves and French rolls did in the ‘90s.
The bubble bob is the latest rendition of this timeless style that’s earned our attention and appreciation. It’s a short and bouncy voluminous bob with a bubble-esque effect. And seeing our faves like Lori Harvey, Zendaya, Ciara, and Kelly Rowland rock it effortlessly has us adding a round brush to our Amazon cart ASAP.
If this is your first time stumbling on this phenomenon, you’re invited to the chat as we explore all things bubble bob. If you’re already familiar with it but want to know more, keep reading sis, we got you. Here’s everything you need to know about a bubble bob, and how to achieve the classy look.
First Things First: What’s a Bubble Bob Exactly?
Jeremy Moeller/Getty Images
London hairstylist Luke Hersheshon officially coined the term “bubble bob,” according to Vogue. Hersheshon said, “It’s defined by that ’90s curve, which until recently was a bit of a no-no, plus it also has a little bit of bounce to it.” Its signature is a curvy silhouette made complete with bumped ends. “Think a classic, old-school, super smooth blow dry, that’s slightly curved under,” he said.
Who Can Rock It Best?
Because a bubble bob typically falls right between the shoulder and the chin, it’s actually flattering for most face shapes, the celebrity hairstylist pointed out. Hairstylist to the stars, Chad Wood, told Byrdie that it mostly complements round, heart, square, and inverted-triangle face shapes. For the ladies with longer face aesthetics, keep in mind that the bubble bob can make your neck and face appear longer, Wood said.
Still, don’t be afraid to go for this look as it works on all types of hair from full and thick to thin and fine.
How To Style a Bubble Bob Haircut
Daniele Venturelli/WireImage
We all want our bobs to have more bounce than the ounce. If you’re not afraid of a little heat, you can achieve this look by pairing a one-inch round brush with a hair dryer (or just use a blow dryer hair brush), starting at the neck and angeling the ends as you work your way up to the top of your head. Don’t forget your heat protectant, girl.
Still, a bubble bob doesn’t always require a ton of heat. Instead, you can also air dry and fluff your hair and use a round brush to give the ends that must-have bend. But I’d be lying if I said this method will get you the same volume and luster as using heat (because it most likely won’t).
Even though it has standout features like volume and such, there are different ways to sport it and make it your own. “You can angle or flip the ends of your bubble bob, add in curls, or leave it smooth. You can also leave longer angled pieces in the front to funk it up and make it more fun,” said Wood.
It’s All About The Versatility
Bubble bobs have easily become a hairdo fave thanks to their versatility. From length to volume, you can still make a bubble your own. Try it with a deep side part, bangs, or a middle part that frames your face. You can also experiment with chin, neck, or shoulder length to create a tailor-made look. Spicing it up with layers will give it that extra stamp of approval.
So How Do You Maintain It?
We all feel at our best when our bob is bobbing properly, especially when it comes to its sleek appeal. Depending on your hair type, you can keep it full of luster by using products like a finishing cream or anti-frizz serum.
If you love extra volume and bounce, NYC salon owner Nunzio Saviano, tellsReal Simplethat velcro rollers are the key. “Rollers are ideal to style a bubble bob. They are best for long-lasting volume.” For heat styling, get the lift with a round brush and a blow dryer, then finish off with rollers. Volumizing mousse and hairspray are also go-to products.
Getting a trim every four to six weeks also stops the ends from being disrespectful and turning outward. If you do use rollers or heat, you can extend the time in between cuts.
Will you be trying out the bubble bob?
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Featured image by Pascal Le Segretain/amfAR/Getty Images for amfAR