
May kicks off with a transformational Full Moon in Scorpio leading us into retrograde season. With Saturn and Jupiter helping up redefine our boundaries and Venus reminding us of the importance of communication—we're being equipped with the tools to create better relationship dynamics with ourselves and others. With Mars moving into Pisces, we're feeling the love and compassion for humanity. Once the Sun and Moon join the Gemini party, we're encouraged to connect and collaborate (even if that's just online for now).
Check out your horoscope for the month ahead below!
Aries

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The beginning of the month invites you to slay the metaphorical dragon in your life that makes you want to hide your truth. It's time to show up more boldly than ever before. On the 11th, Saturn goes retro for the next six months, making this the perfect time to redefine what success means to you and to restructure your approach towards that career win. Getting more acquainted with social media marketing may be an important piece to the puzzle.
The energy slows down mid-month, encouraging you to recognize the importance that rest plays in your creative process. Who knows? Your dreams could reveal your next big move. On the 14th, Jupiter goes retro, encouraging you to get into the details of mapping out your legacy. Keep in mind that people matter and the interactions you have over the next month can make or break your winning streak.
Taurus

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
It's "mask off" season for you as the Full Moon reveals the true intentions of those around you. Whether you've got a secret admirer or a shady business acquaintance, all cards are finally on the table. Over the next six months, the Saturn retrograde encourages you to reassess your spiritual beliefs and practices. Are they serving you on the path towards greater personal power or are they a constant reminder that suffering is required for you to earn what you desire?
On the 13th, Mars enters Pisces, inviting you to lead with your heart—especially amongst your social circle. Don't dismiss the impact that an inspirational IG post can have on some of your followers at this time. Your personal experiences are a gold mine and once Jupiter goes retro, you'll have the attention span to finally get to work on writing that novel or creating those spiritual workshops. Near the end of the month, much of the action takes place in your money house, granting you the curiosity to explore a new lane and expand your sources of income.
Gemini

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The #StayAtHome agenda may seem like a good excuse to not exercise but the Full Moon this month says otherwise. Put the potato chips down and opt for some carrot sticks instead. On the 11th, Saturn goes retrograde, helping you understand the power dynamics within yourself and in your relationships. It's time to get real about how you're misusing your power or not owning it at all. When Mars moves into Pisces, you'll be put to the test as you gain more authority and influence in your career.
Your self-love journey comes into greater focus on the 13th when Venus goes retrograde in your sign. How have you been nurturing (or neglecting) your curiosity, your ideas, and your throat chakra? On the 14th, Jupiter follows suit, inviting you into the fold for some much-needed soul-searching. This is also a supportive time to invest in your mental and emotional health, whether that's through therapy, self-help books, or your connection to the Divine. Your birthday season officially begins on the 20th and the New Moon on the 22nd encourages you to set some intentions for the year ahead. Stay on the look-out for an important conversation or financial opportunity that presents while Mercury transits through Cancer for the next couple of months.
Cancer

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The weather is heating up and so are you, thanks to a sexy Full Moon in Scorpio at the beginning of the month. Your sacral chakra is overflowing with creativity right now. Whether you're channeling that energy into making art or making babies, you've got the magic touch. On the 11th, Saturn goes retro and this four-month period requires you to make some adjustments in your close, one-to-one relationships. Remember, babe—asserting your boundaries doesn't make you the bad guy.
Around mid-May, take is easy on yourself. Mercury moving into Gemini has your spidey-senses more sensitive than usual. If your insomnia is keeping you up late at night, try to put your phone away an hour before bedtime. On the 13th, Mars enters Pisces, inspiring you to deepen your understanding of your spiritual beliefs and your connection to a higher power. Towards the end of the month, you're invited to tie up loose ends in preparation for your solar return. You don't have to feel guilty about outgrowing your past. With Mercury moving into your sign, communicating your feelings will come a little bit easier.
Leo

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Tensions in the household are high during the week leading up to the Full Moon. All cards are on the table and there's no going back, so make sure you don't say something you'll regret. If you're tired of choosing the high road, it's time to make some preparations to move elsewhere. On the 11th, Saturn begins its retrograde and over the next four months you're given the opportunity to redefine your approach to wellness. What boundaries do you need to assert to protect your peace of mind and physical health?
Towards the middle of the month, things are getting steamy, making this a perfect time to deepen your bond with a significant other or get a little more acquainted with self-pleasure. On the 14th, Jupiter goes retro, helping you get into the details of organizing a more efficient approach towards your goals. Watch out for pushing yourself too hard! Success takes time. Your social life is buzzing towards the end of the month, making it a perfect time to host that private Zoom party so you can fill your friends in on the latest tea. The month ends on a quiet note, inviting you to kick up your feet for a stay-at-home spa day—complimentary champagne included.
Virgo

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The secret is out—whether it's that weird habit you have of saving your toenail clippings, that book you've been writing behind the scenes, or even some hidden feelings you have for your virtual personal trainer. On the 11th, you'll begin a four-month journey of revamping your approach to romance. What power struggles do you often find yourself getting pulled into? Look to your inner child for more understanding. Your one-on-one relationships with others come into focus when Mars moves into Pisces. A healthy connection requires that both parties' boundaries be honored.
It's time to get into the details when Jupiter goes retro on the 14th. If you want to have a baby, this is the perfect time to strategize your fertility plan.This is also a supportive time to revisit an old project or idea that could use a little more TLC. Towards the end of the month, most of your attention is directed towards your career goals. Steer clear of gossip and channel that chatty energy into a podcast instead. An opportunity to flex your gift of gab or the pen may present itself around the New Moon on the 22nd. The month comes to a close, reminding you of the importance of having a soft place to land amongst your tribe.
Libra

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The start of the month sets you up for a much-needed breakthrough related to an experience that had you questioning your self-worth. Recognize how you've given your power away by prioritizing other people's opinion about you over your own. When Saturn goes retrograde on the 11th, you're invited to redefine what family and home means to you. As easy-going as you are, it's important that you assert boundaries when necessary—even when it comes to your Mom calling you every day at the crack of dawn. You've got more important things to focus on like leading a COVID-19 relief fundraiser for low-income families.
Around the middle of the month, Jupiter begins its retrograde and for the next four months, you're encouraged to connect with your ancestors for the wisdom that you seek. Who knows? You could end up receiving a secret recipe for a top-selling product like our good sis Beatrice Dixon—founder of the widely loved Honey Pot brand. On the 20th, the Sun enters Gemini and is shortly followed by a New Moon. You're on a pursuit of higher knowledge whether you're starting up school again or teaching yourself a new language. Towards the end of the month, your kindness and compassion elevates you on the path to greater success and influence.
Scorpio

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
All eyes are on you leading up to your Full Moon on the 7th, making this the perfect time to reveal something you've been working on behind the scenes, whether it's that cooking blog or your new protective hairstyle. When Saturn goes retrograde, you'll be spending the next few months on redefining the way you communicate with others. If you're a writer or public speaker, this transit supports you in rolling up your sleeves and getting down to business. On the 13th, Mars enters Pisces whisking you away into romantic fantasies that you plan on making your reality (maybe after the Rona makes her exit).
On the 14th, Jupiter goes retrograde and you're curious about taking your knowledge to the next level, making this a good time to crack one, or a few, of those books accumulating dust on your shelf. Gemini season officially begins on the 22nd with the New Moon following shortly behind. Over the next month, your interest in psychology, self-help, and esoteric studies is heightened. When it comes to your relationships, it's time to go deep and you just might find yourself enjoying some intriguing late night convos with your friend or romantic interest. The month comes to a close bringing news of [delayed] travel and opportunities overseas that you can act on this summer.
Sagittarius

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The beginning of the month can be quite revealing as we lead up to the Full Moon in Scorpio. Pay close attention to your dreams and you just might find out who's been sending the evil eye your way. Never fret, though. Lean on your spiritual support team for discernment to weed out the real from the fake. At this point, you know your worth and Saturn retrograde will help you understand that more deeply. Experiences of the past may have attempted to mark you as damaged goods, but the wisdom you've gained from them empowers you to make choices that reflect your worth moving forward.
Around mid-month, Mars brings your attention to home and family matters, making this a perfect time to smooth out any drama. Connecting with your ancestors through the dream realm, meditation, and prayer is also encouraged for bringing healing to your bloodline. On the 20th, the Sun enters Gemini, your relationship house. With Venus already retrograde in this part of your chart, and a New Moon on the 22nd, this is a supportive time for improving communication with bae or a business colleague. Towards the end of the month, life gets a little more private when Mercury enters Cancer, encouraging a level of emotional transparency in you that may make you squeamish. Surrender to the feels, my love.
Capricorn

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Right out of the gate, you're getting clear on where your loyalties lie as the Full Moon places a spotlight on your friends and social network. Let go of shady folks and invest your energy into people that you know are 100% team Cappie. Your ruling planet begins its retrograde on the 11th and for most of this transit you'll be redefining the boundaries between you and others. This is also a good time to switch up your appearance or revisit that old fitness routine. Just imagine where four months of consistent effort can get you.
Around the middle of the month, you're softening up when Mars enters Pisces. Cat got your tongue? You may have difficulty expressing deep emotions at this time. Journal it out, make a song, or write a poem. Whatever you do—please spare us the sappy subliminal tweets towards that person you've been crushing on secretly for a year. Towards the end of the month, your attention is on improving your mental and physical health. Remember, wellness is a lifestyle. It's not just something you prioritize on occasion. A big part of your well-being has to do with your relationships as well and when Mercury moves into Cancer, you're encouraged to focus on the nurturing connections that bring you good vibes.
Aquarius

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Your life path could be going through some changes at the top of the month. Around the Full Moon, you may decided that a current career path is no longer in alignment with you. If you've been working on a project, this is a favorable time to reveal the final results. When Saturn begins its four-month-long retrograde, you'll be encouraged to face some of the ghosts of your past. Examining your subconscious beliefs and past-life karma is the key for breaking free of limitations. On the 13th, Mars enters Pisces and you've got the magic touch when it comes to making money.
When Jupiter goes retrograde around the middle of the month, you'll be soaking up all of the gems through the Akashic Records, your dream time, and even messages from your ancestors. Gemini season officially begins on the 20th, which has you feeling flirtatious, creative, and adventurous. With a New Moon following shortly behind, you're invited to plant the seeds for a new endeavor that will bring your inner child to life (or even help you procreate if you want to have a baby). The month winds down with Mercury entering Cancer. In what ways do you need to nurture your mental and physical well-being? Instead of high-intensity workouts, opt for dancing or yoga to soothe your sensitive nerves.
Pisces

Laci Jordan for xoNecole
We've got a Full Moon in Scorpio early on in the month, making it the perfect time to reveal that new online course or e-book you've been working on. Your intuitive abilities are heightened around this time. Do your best to stay grounded to avoid feelings of paranoia or anxiety. When Saturn goes retrograde, you may be required to adjust your boundaries when it comes to friends or your social media engagement. On the 13th, Mars enters your sign and you're encouraged to embrace your anger instead of suppressing it. Feeling upset doesn't make you any less of a good person. It just makes you human.
When Jupiter goes retrograde, you're gaining the insight you need to take your dreams to the next level. Gemini season begins on the 20th, bringing your attention to home and family. A New Moon on the 22nd can present some communication that gives you the go-ahead for that home loan or apartment lease. If you're interested in investing into property, now is the time to learn all of the ins and outs of the industry. Near the end of the month, Mercury enters Cancer bringing a sweet, nurturing vibe to your life making this a supportive time to create art (or babies).
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
- April 2020 Horoscopes For Every Zodiac Sign - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- February Monthly Horoscopes 2020: Every Zodiac Sign - xoNecole ... ›
- March 2020 Monthly Horoscopes - Readings For All Signs ... ›
- 2020 Relationship Survive Pandemic - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Horoscopes 2020 - Free Daily, Weekly and Monthly Horoscopes for ... ›
- Get your Free Horoscope for May 2020 ›
- May Horoscope 2020 – Astrology King ›
- May 2020 Monthly Horoscope ›
- May 2020 monthly horoscope - A wonderful Month! ›
- Monthly Horoscopes 2020-2021 For Each Zodiac Sign ›
- Monthly Horoscopes by The AstroTwins, Ophira & Tali Edut ›
- May 2020 Monthly Horoscope for all zodiac signs ›
- May 2020 Horoscope Predictions For All | SunSigns.Org ›
Your December 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Surrender & Alignment
December is about letting go. We end the year with the need for more peace, reflection, and rejuvenation, and that is exactly what December is providing for us. The Sun is in Sagittarius, and anything is possible. This is the month to believe in that and to know that the universe is supporting you. With a Supermoon in Gemini as we begin the month as well, we have an opportunity to gain the closure we have been looking for this year and to wrap up old projects, ideas, and communication breakthroughs.
This is the month to make your peace the priority and let go of trying to control the way the tides are turning. Trust in your new beginning, and give yourself time to prepare for it this month.
A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Do You Expect Others To Read Your Mind? Here's The Problem With That.
Omniscience. If someone were to offer you $100 right this second for the definition of that word, could you immediately provide it? If you’re not sure, basically omniscience is about being able to know everything — and to those who believe in God, only he is given that honor. For those who believe in Satan? Not even he is omniscient (as much as he would like people to think otherwise).
Sometimes, it might feel that otherwise because some beings and even people are truly masterful when it comes to reading body language, observing patterns, and picking up on cues. Still, no matter how much it might seem like someone can read someone else’s mind, they can’t. It is literally impossible — and I will briefly expound on that in just a moment.
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
___
Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock







