6 Things To Do Before Your First Therapy Session
My first therapy session was beyond intimidating. Between the stigmas surrounding therapy in the Black community (aka therapy is for crazy people) and my only visual reference being television sitcoms, I was left unprepared AF. I'm sure I'm not the only one, and as comical as the relax, relate, release session in that episode of A Different World was, I needed to know the real. I've been in therapy for four years and overall, the narrative is shifting but many people are still left with questions of how to get started.
Here are some some tips that can help your first therapy session, and your relationship with your therapist overall, go smoothly.
1.Have a one-liner explaining what you're looking to accomplish.
It might sound like a lot to immediately pour out your trauma, but specificity is critical. You should go into your first session, clearly stating what you want to address. For example, "Hi, my name is ____, and I'm currently looking for help with _____" is a great place to start. If you find yourself struggling, take the time to self-evaluate where you are right now. Are you going through a break up? Transition? Lost a family member, generally in need of someone to help you sort through day to day life? The more transparent you are, the better they can help you (and you can determine if they're a good match for you as well).
2.If you have had a preference, do some research on websites that cater to what you're looking for.
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Representation is imperative. According to an article on Self.com, Black clients are more likely to continue therapy beyond the first few sessions when seeing a black therapist. Still, for many of us, the search for finding a Black therapist, let alone one in network, is damn near impossible. If you're set on finding a therapist that looks like you, know that it might be difficult, but there are resources. Logging on to sites such as Therapy For Black Girls, Black Therapists Rock, and African American Therapist or apps like AYANA Therapy gives you an advantage. Don't sleep on Psychology Today either; there's a filter option where you can specify race, gender, and the area in which you live.
3.Keep your options open.
For more reasons than one, you need to remember that therapy is like dating - you won't always find the perfect fit on the first try. I would strongly suggest having a list of five potential therapists, and setting up initial appointments with all of them. Why? Because anything can happen. Years ago, I had a therapist I thought I was making great progress with call me another name after the third session - in a text message thread where my name was spelled out. Needless to say I blocked him like an ex on Instagram, but on my next try, I found someone that I worked well with for years.
One of my favorite episodes of Cherish the Day was when Evan and Gently spent the day seeing different therapists, and each one brought something different out of them - that's therapy. Visuals like that are why it always frustrates me to hear stories from friends who aren't comfortable with their therapist, but they continue sessions anyway. You have the right to advocate for yourself, especially inside the four walls of a therapist's office. If your experiences are being invalidated, leave. If you're experiencing microaggressions, leave. If you feel like your therapist isn't challenging you, leave - the door is there for a reason.
4.Ignore the people who will tell you all you need is church.
Church people don't know everything, but God does, and that's why He made therapists. I remember being at a party and a woman asked me why I looked so happy recently, and I said, I'm in therapy. Telling people I had a therapist wasn't easy for me at first, especially as a Black woman, so to share that, took a lot. She told me she could never feel safe talking to anyone but God in her secret place, and she didn't believe that she could be healed in therapy. Her response made me feel small, but thankfully my faith is strong and I know better.
Prayer, church, and therapy for me go hand in hand.
My journey has taught me that wellness like Black people is multifaceted - it should be free to take on as many forms as it sees fit. Therapy, candles, sage, crystals, and holy oil all have a place in my home. Don't let anyone invalidate what talking with a professional does for you, or tell you that church is all you need when they go to the doctor for everything else but what's going on in their mind.
5.Don't lie to your therapist.
Like forreal, just DON'T. Lying to your therapist is a telltale sign that you aren't serious about healing. I know that might sound harsh, but essentially you lying about your progress, relationship status, overall mental health, etc. is not only a waste of your time, and theirs but it's dangerous. You'll never be able to see the breakthroughs that psychologists speak of if you walk in every week telling half-truths. I had a friend who went to therapy on a weekly basis who neglected to tell her therapist weekly, that she was seeing a married man. She never experienced any real growth because there was a considerable portion of her life that she choose to leave out. Pain aside, owning your experiences even if they're challenging to recount is what therapy is for.
6.Get excited about becoming a better you.
I was so nervous walking into the first session that I never stopped to think about what my life would be like after therapy. My focus was on how embarrassed I felt of my choices, what led me there, and overall what my therapist would think of me (which are all valid feelings but feelings aren't always facts). So if you're feeling anxious when you walk into your first session, take a moment to see yourself in a better space, healing from trauma can be a beautiful thing, I promise you.
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Featured image via Shutterstock
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED