

I was 21 when I got my first job leading a team. I managed people who were not only much older than I was but were also mostly male. On my first day, I confidently put on my high heels and power suit and unapologetically told myself that I would do a bomb job in my new role.
I wasn't bothered that I was the newbie, that I was the youngest in my department, or even that I was leading a team that didn't look like me. None of that mattered because I felt like I was called to lead for a reason.
I was in for a rude awakening.
During my first few months as a manager, my job title was good, my pay was even better, but I sucked as a boss. There was so much that I should've prepared for prior to taking on such an important role. Over time, I discovered what my leadership weaknesses were and focused on how to become a better leader.
If you're looking to get promoted or you're starting a new job as a manager, here are some things that you should prepare for and skills you should gain before deciding to lead a team.
1.Vision
As a manager, you're often responsible for not only your team, but also for a multitude of projects and tasks. Because of this, it can be pretty easy to get caught up on the work and not on the development and performance of your team.
Good leaders are able to clearly see and act on the vision, manage projects, and can develop their team at the same time.
2.Adaptability
As a leader, sometimes you'll manage several departments at once that are vastly different from one another. Despite this, you're the boss so their success is still your responsibility. It's important that you know enough about what they do and how their department should operate so that you can know how to manage your expectations and be able to answer questions and help when needed.
3.Project Management
Being a manager, you'll be expected to clearly communicate and execute projects from start to finish. During this period, in order to successfully execute a project, you have to be able to successfully prioritize, organize the tasks, and inspire your team members simultaneously.
4.Delegation
When you're the boss, it's easy to look at every project as your "baby" and become obsessed with it. Instead of letting your obsession turn you into a control freak, you have to tap into the power of delegation. Keep in mind, delegation does not mean pawning off all of your work to your team. Instead, it means understanding the role that each team member has, the deadline of the work, the nature of the project, and strategically assigning portions of the task to each member based on those elements.
Once you start delegating though, the work doesn't stop. You have to remember to also trust and verify the work.
5.Organizational
Being organized comes naturally for some people but seems impossible for others. Nonetheless, when you're responsible for people and projects, it's critical that you keep your space at least neat enough so that you can clearly find what you and your team need. Also, being organized in your space helps you become organized in other aspects of your work life including managing your team and project timelines.
6.Versatility
Shit happens and things change in business. Sometimes, these changes are very unexpected and it disrupts you and your team's normal way of work. As the leader, you have to be able to be adaptable and be comfortable with change. On the same note, you have to be able to know how to properly prepare and communicate these changes to your team.
7.Prioritization
As a boss, you'll often be given several assignments that might have conflicting due dates, or you may discover that you actually don't have enough team members to efficiently execute. Being able to prioritize with limited team members, stretched resources, and conflicting deadlines will help you become a better leader. It will also help you learn to reasonably set expectations and prevent employee burnout.
8.Emotional Intelligence
A large part in successfully leading a team is having emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is defined as "the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically." Having emotional intelligence will help you understand and motivate your employees, especially at times when they need it the most.
9.Confidence
In your line of work, you will be tested every second, and sometimes you'll feel like you're failing. Having a high level of confidence will help you get past the hard times when employees are underperforming, revenue is down, and projects are giving you a difficult time. Maintain your confidence, and understand how to instill a high level of confidence in the people you lead.
10. Boldness
As a manager, you may find yourself between the thin line of wanting people to like you versus just wanting to become a good leader. Sometimes you have to have hard conversations and make the tough decisions that people won't like. However, you have to be courageous enough to lead and follow through with directives, even when doing things they don't like makes you uncomfortable. You have to be bold enough to remain focused and to also not be intimidated to tell your team members what you need from them.
Now that you've checked out the skills you need to prepare for a role in leadership, what are your thoughts? Are there any skills that you struggle with the most right now? Tweet us and let us know!
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Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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A Black-Owned Mobile Spa Turned My Home Into A Luxury Retreat—Here’s My Experience
There’s nothing quite like a spa day, but what’s even better is when you can enjoy one right at home. I recently had my first at-home spa day with The Party Spa, a Black-owned mobile spa founded by Asher Wilkins.
Asher’s team of 25 professionals offers a wide range of services, including massages, facials, body scrubs, and more. Asher, a licensed massage therapist, stumbled upon a unique opportunity to combine massage services with the vibrant nightlife scene.
The Party Spa Team
Courtesy
"I noticed there was a need in the New York City night life, especially with the after work parties and I felt that I had that answer in regards to bringing what I did, because I'm a licensed massage therapist," he tells xoNecole. "So how could I incorporate this into what I like to do, which was socialize and network, and party.
"I went to some club owners and some promoters, and I told them about the idea. I said, let's include the chair massage along with what you have going on and it worked." At that time, the clientele was primarily women who needed a massage after a long night of dancing, especially in heels.
London getting a massage from Asher
Courtesy
The Party Spa, having expanded its services to cater to a diverse clientele, including business professionals and celebrities like Mary J. Blige, has even graced music tours like the I Love the 90s tour. Their extensive travel across the country led them to my doorstep, where I eagerly awaited my pampering session.
Asher and Miss Jazz arrived at my home and began infusing the space with a relaxing spa vibe. They set up an essential oil diffuser and provided me with a cozy white robe for a comfortable change. While I had the option to choose my preferred music, I opted for the soothing melodies of traditional spa music.
Asher skillfully administered my massage, applying medium to deep pressure that perfectly suited my preferences. He effectively worked out the lingering pain in my lower back and hips, leaving me feeling rejuvenated and pampered. The delightful aroma of the massage oils intensified as he continued rubbing me down, enhancing the overall sensory experience.
London receiving a facial from Miss Jazz.
Courtesy
Once Asher finished, it was time for my facial. Facials are rare for me, so this was a delightful treat. Miss Jazz began with a facial massage, a new experience for me that I thoroughly enjoyed.
It felt like a continuation of the body massage I had just received. From there, she applied various products to my face, including a scrub, cleanser, vitamin C serum, and cream. She also gave me a honey and sugar lip scrub, which I desperately needed.
The result was radiant, smooth skin. The Party Spa transformed my first at-home spa experience into a blissful one. I found myself in a tranquil state of mind and relaxed the rest of the day.
The Party Spa is expanding its footprint by launching a podcast, Confessions of a Celebrity Massage Therapist, and working with non-profits to donate beauty and wellness services to survivors of sex trafficking and abuse. To learn more, visit their website thepartyspa.com, or follow them on Instagram @thepartyspa.
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