

If you’ve ever wondered why it’s more humid during this time of the year, the answer is pretty simple: the hotter the weather is, the easier it is for moisture to be trapped in it. As a result, it can feel hotter than it actually is outdoors, and it can be easier to sweat and our hair? Chile, our hair.
Even though our hair texture can benefit from humidity (because it’s naturally drier than other ethnicities), if our strands swell up from the moisture too much, that can result in strands that are full of frizz. Why? Because moisture makes our cuticles open up, and frizz is what they oftentimes look like whenever they do.
Does this mean that you have to surrender to an entire season of styling frustration? Absolutely not. Now that you know what can sometimes cause more than a few so-called bad hair days during the summertime, here are 15 ways to either cause humidity to work in your favor or to combat it in ways that are stress-free yet super effective.
1. Remember, Moisture Reduces Breakage
Getty Images
If you’re someone who struggles with your hair plateauing (which basically means it seems to stop at a certain point as are as retaining length is concerned), a big part of that is probably because your ends are breaking off about as fast as your hair is growing out of your scalp — and that could be due to a lack of moisture.
So, why is it that our hair finds a way to feel like straw faster than any other ethnicity? It’s because our texture tends to be much curlier, and so, even though natural oils from our scalp come down our hair strands too, oftentimes they don’t get coated from root to tip due to our coils. As a result, we have to add extra moisture via hair products.
Again, the good news is that humidity can help to add some hydration to our stands as well. This is why, while super humid days can cause “other folks” to have really frizzy hair (because it’s already well-moisturized), oftentimes our curly texture is thriving; it’s been wanting to receive some of the water that the air has to offer. The key is to follow through on some of these other tips so that the curls don’t get out of control (via frizz).
2. Don’t Be Afraid of Humectants
Getty Images
Since I have mostly 4a-type hair and it’s high porosity, I have to be hypervigilant about keeping moisture in my hair. For instance, if I know that I’m going to keep it in, say, cornrows for a while, I’ll add a humectant, whether it’s glycerin or a DIY spray that has some honey in it. Why? Because they’re both humectants which basically means they are ingredients that are able to pull moisture out of the air and into our hair (and skin).
Some other healthy humectants that are pretty effective include aloe vera gel, hyaluronic acid, panthenol, lactic acid, and oats. According to some hair experts, even cucumbers can hydrate your hair. Like, if you apply a homemade cucumber hair mask as a final step on wash day, it can be great for your hair until it’s time to shampoo and condition it again.
Just mix the puree of one cucumber with an egg and your favorite carrier oil (olive or Jamaican black castor oil are both awesome), and then apply it to damp, clean hair. Let it sit for 20 minutes, and then rinse out thoroughly with warm and then cool water. You will instantly feel (and notice) a difference.
3. Make Grapeseed Oil Your Friend
Getty Images
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled “7 Essential Oils All Naturalistas Need For Their Hair.” If you want to get the most out of those, it’s a good idea to add them to a carrier oil like olive, sweet almond, avocado, jojoba, or grapeseed oil.
As far as grapeseed specifically goes, it’s loaded with antioxidants and vitamin E that work to reduce oxidative stress, fight off free radicals, improve blood circulation to your scalp, and moisturize your hair without it feeling greasy.
Something else that’s in grapeseed oil is linoleic acid. It’s wonderful for your tresses because it has a way of smoothing down hair cuticles, adding hydration, and nourishing your hair follicles — and you know what all of this boils down to, right? A lot more curls and a lot less frizz.
So, whether you add a dab into your palm and rub it across your hair or you use it to break a cast of a braid-out or twist-out (more on those in a bit), grapeseed oil will have your hair looking and feeling quite wonderful all summer long.
4. Use Shea Butter on Your Ends
Getty Images
Between the antioxidants, vitamins A and E, properties that protect from UV damage, and its ability to soothe and, to a certain extent, even heal dandruff — it makes all of the sense in the world to use shea butter on your hair. Although I personally apply it more on my face and lips, I’ve been getting more settled into applying it to my ends, whether it comes to sealing them or just making sure to give them some added moisture.
Matter of fact, there are scientific studies to support that shea butter is great at reducing breakage, especially in our hair. A big part of the reason is that it’s able to moisturize the oldest parts of our hair while also keeping our cuticles from getting totally out of control due to humidity.
Just make sure that you use the kind of shea butter that is in its best condition. Because it’s a product that is more commercialized than ever, when buying some, make sure that it has a strong nutty scent, that it ranges from off-white to yellow in hue, that it absorbs quickly into your skin, and that the merchant can confirm that it will last between 1-3 years. All of these are signs of a trustworthy shea butter product.
5. This Is When Braid-Outs and Twist-Outs Can Thrive
Getty Images
I won’t lie — if you like having that bone-straight look (from flat ironing or silk pressing, if your hair happens to be natural), summer is not really the season to make that attempt. Although, I will say that Color Wow’s Dream Coat Anti-Humidity Hair Treatment can keep your locks smoother for longer, no matter what time of year it is. That said, in my opinion, if you want to wear your hair out, I recommend a braid-out or twist-out instead.
The key is to make sure that your hair is super detangled, that your braids or twists are hella defined, and that you go with something that is gel-based if you want to fight frizz as much as possible — although I will say that an influencer who has a YouTube channel called Only One Jess did put me onto one of the best hair creams that I have ever tried — mostly because I have experienced zero flaking with it. It’s called Taliah Waajid, and y’all…Y’ALL. If you want to try the cream, their curly cream (here) is gonna get and keep your hair super right — summertime included.
6. Shampoo in Cooler Water
Getty Images
When it’s sizzling outside, probably nothing sounds better than a cool shower. And did you know that taking one does wonders for your hair? First up, it closes up the pores on your scalp, which helps to keep “gunk” (sweat, hair products, etc.) from clogging up your hair follicles. Since hot water can be dehydrating, cool water can also prevent dry scalp and dry hair. And, since it seals your hair’s cuticles, it’s another way to combat frizz — if indeed that is something that you’re trying to avoid. And when your cuticles are smooth, that means smoother and shinier hair.
By the way, while this topic is on my mind if you happen to live in a city that comes with hard water, that can do a number on your strands as well. One way to avoid it is to invest in a shower head that comes with a soft water filter. Amazon has a lot of different affordable options that you can choose from here.
7. Do an Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse
Getty Images
The antimicrobial and antioxidant properties in apple cider vinegar make it something that you can rely on when it comes to a myriad of health-related needs. It helps to regulate your blood sugar, aids in weight loss, is used as a natural remedy for nail fungus, can relieve symptoms related to eczema, and may help to lower your cholesterol levels too.
As far as your hair’s health and well-being are concerned, the cool thing about apple cider vinegar is the properties in it can keep the pH balance in your hair and scalp where it should be, can remove product build-up from your hair, and can also help to smooth your cuticles — and that can give your hair lots of shine, no matter what the weather may be like.
8. Also, Do a Protein Treatment
Getty Images
I hate how long it took me to take protein treatments seriously because once I did, I started to see a real change in the overall quality of my hair. Because your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin), of course, it’s something that you need in order to maintain the health and elasticity of it. This is especially the case if your ends experience a lot of wear and tear due to heat styling tools.
So, what are some signs that you could use a protein treatment ASAP?
- Your hair lacks flexibility
- Your hair doesn’t seem to hold any style
- Your hair sheds a lot
- Your hair is color-treated
- Your hair breaks easily
If any of this is happening, definitely add some protein to your hair. Personally, I use ApHogee Two-Step Protein Treatment every six weeks or so. Yet if you decide to go with it or something that is based in soy protein (it strengthens damaged hair), silk protein (it softens your tresses), rice protein (it’s great for a sensitive scalp), or any other protein option, just make sure to balance out your protein with your moisturizer. That way, you don’t make your hair too hard — because, even when it comes to protein, there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing.”
9. Use a Leave-In Conditioner
Getty Images
When you have low porosity hair, what that basically means is your cuticles are lying very flat, which makes it hard for moisture to get into your hair strands. On the other hand, if you’re like me and you have high porosity hair, your cuticles are open and oftentimes have holes in them. As a result, your hair takes in moisture very easily, yet, on the flip side, the moisture tends to leave just as fast as it comes.
The solution? Well, one of the best ones is to use a leave-in conditioner. It will definitely help moisture to last in your hair a lot longer than just conditioning after shampooing does. There are plenty of leave-ins to choose from (Lord knows), and I’ve tried more than I care to count or mention. The one that has worked for me most and best is Mielle Organics' Pomegranate & Honey Leave-In Conditioner. It literally keeps my hair soft and moisturized for a week solid — and for my hair, that’s truly saying something.
10. Trim Those Ends
Getty Images
While you’re out here thinking that you hate summer weather (as far as your hair goes) because it causes your hair to frizz up, make sure that you check those ends of yours first. If they are dry, split, or raggedy, that is going to be a bigger culprit to frizzing than humidity will ever be.
Yeah, this is a friendly reminder that it’s a good idea to start off the summer with a professional trim — or at least to do some dusting on your own with some sharp hair shears. Long story short, dusting is all about taking small sections of your hair and removing an inch or less (preferably) of bad ends from them. You can watch videos on dusting here, here, and here.
11. Enjoy Some Wash ‘N Gos
Getty Images
So, what if you want to do something to your hair that requires as little effort as possible and is virtually fearless of how humid the weather may decide to be? If that is indeed the case, look no further than a wash ‘n go. It plays up on your hair’s natural texture and requires very little styling manipulation, the “cast” that the gel creates can help to protect your hair from extreme weather elements, and if you use something like the shingling method (here), you can get hella curl definition.
Click here, here, and here for tips on how to get the most out of your own DIY wash ‘n go look.
12. Accessorize the Entire Hell Outta Your Hair
Getty Images
If you plan on spending a lot of time traveling, by some body of water, or simply in the great outdoors from dawn until dusk (or vice versa), who said that you need to worry about styling your hair all summer long? Indeed, another way to not fight the fear of humidity is to play up your hair’s look with the help of a few accessories.
Some of the ones that are trending this season include claw clips, small barrettes, beaded jewelry (like the gems that you see on braids and twists), large satin scarves, headwraps, and, believe it or not (whew, chile)…scrunchies.
13. Sleep with a Humidifier
Getty Images
Personally, I’m a huge fan of humidifiers. So much, in fact, that I wrote an entire piece devoted to them a couple of years back (check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”). And why should you want one in your bedroom for your hair? Good question.
Just like a humidifier can bring moisture to your skin throughout the night, it can do the same thing for your tresses. So, if you happen to have an itchy and/or irritable scalp, your hair is high porosity, or your hair seems like it’s full of frizz due to dryness or hair damage from over-styling, the hydration from a humidifier can help to alleviate all of this.
14. If You MUST…Braids
Getty Images
And what if you read all of this and you’re saying to yourself, “Yeah…I just don’t want to deal with my hair at all” — while I do think that this is the season when you can learn more about how to make your texture and humidity work in harmony, a styling alternative that is pretty much surefire is braids.
This season, some of the most popular looks include microbraids, goddess braids, cornrows, box braids that are in a bob, Fulani braids, Jayda Wayda braids, and peek-a-boo braids.
15. Never Treat Shrinkage As “Problematic”
Getty Images
Whenever I read articles on the topic of shrinkage, it’s interesting how political some of them can get. While some have no problem using the word (I don’t), others think there is no such thing; some believe that wanting to stretch out strands means that there is some sort of subconscious shame surrounding our natural hair texture.
Maybe if other ethnicities didn’t go to great lengths to alter their own hair texture for the sake of variety when it comes to different hairstyles, I would see the point — yet since that isn’t even close to being the case, I don’t think that shrinkage is a bad word nor do I think that stretching out your curls is a bad thing. What makes Black hair so incomparable is the countless ways that we can manipulate it…and how good it looks with every method/approach that we take.
With all of that out of the way, I will say that if you want to go as low-maintenance as possible with your hair this summer and you don’t want to spend a lot of time overthinking what the weather is gonna do (or not do), please don’t factor shrinkage into the mix. There are too many products out here now that can bring the most out of your hair just the way it is, without any kind of stretching being done to it at all.
So, run some juices and berries, oils, creams, or gels, and then hit the door. It’s too beautiful outside to spend a ton of time on your hair or to be stressing out about humidity. Your hair is bomb regardless, so you got this. Happy Summer Styling Time, y'all!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by MesquitaFMS/Getty Images
- Here's How To Prep Natural Hair Before Summer Starts ›
- The Natural Hair Products That Will Turn Your Curl Game Up A Notch ›
- The Hairstyles Naturalistas Herald As Their Go-Tos When It's Hot Out ›
Your July 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Reflection & Reclaiming Your Power
July is a month of reflection, trusting the process, and gathering your resources. July marks the beginning of Retrograde Season, and there is a lot to move through and understand this month. We enter the month in Cancer Season, and emotions are running high. This month is a reminder that when we can take a moment for a pause, reflect on all we have learned, and remain open to what is ahead of us, we can experience true peace today.
On July 4, we have Venus entering Gemini and Neptune going retrograde in Aries. Venus in Gemini brings an interesting dynamic to matters of love and creates an atmosphere of fun, flexibility, and communication in partnerships. Neptune going retrograde in Aries brings a sense of empowerment regarding reflection and contemplation, and guides us to ask ourselves the important questions. This Neptune retrograde is about getting clear on who you are or who you want to be, and about clearing any confusion in that.
July 2025 Astrology Overview
Uranus Enters Gemini
Uranus makes an important transit this month and enters Gemini on July 7 after being in Taurus since 2018. Uranus in Gemini is a wildcard, and anything can happen during this time. With Uranus being the planet of change, upheaval, and breakthrough, and Gemini being the sign of communication, there is a new opening appearing in life, especially regarding creative and business matters.
A few days later, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, grounding all the energy we have experienced the past month. This Full Moon is about creating space for more security, understanding, and purpose to enter your life, and to own your power in creating your dreams.
Saturn Goes Retrograde, Then Mercury
Saturn goes Retrograde on July 13 until November 27, and Saturn Retrograde brings a push towards growth, but also examines what has been restricting you from doing so. With Saturn currently in Aries, you may be feeling more challenged in standing up for yourself and your beliefs and owning your growth. It’s about reminding yourself how far you have come and knowing that things can get better for you at any moment.
A few days later, we have Mercury going retrograde in Leo, and this Mercury Retrograde is also feeling more personal. It’s about examining how you express yourself and live in your confidence, and overcoming miscommunication with others by showing up exactly as you are authentically.
Leo Season Begins, Chiron Goes Retrograde & Venus Enters Cancer
Leo Season officially begins on July 22, bringing more sunshine after the emotional waters of Cancer Season. Even though we are in Retrograde Season now, with the Sun in Leo, we find the power to overcome even the most trying times. On July 24, we have a New Moon in Leo, making this a powerful New Moon to set intentions for your inner power, creativity, hobbies, self-expression, and where you want to shine in life. Chiron goes retrograde on July 30, and Venus enters Cancer on the same day, and we leave July, entering a new door in love.
One that is more healing and passionate than before. Overall, July is a month of closure and one that is creating the new ground for more purpose, excitement, and love to grow. Keep reading for your Sun, Moon, and rising sign below to see what July has in store for you.
Jump to Your Sign
Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo | Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A lot of things are brought to your attention this month, Aries. Neptune entered your sign this year for some time to come, and this month Neptune goes retrograde in Aries until the end of October. For you, this means you need some more time to process, understand yourself and your emotional world better, and you are clearing the fog. You are entering Retrograde Season with a deep inner clarity, but also an understanding that your healing doesn’t need to be rushed.
Mid-month, Saturn goes retrograde in Aries until September 1, and it’s important not to be hard on yourself right now. You have a strong urge to transform your life this month, but things may not be happening as quickly with the retrogrades in your sign. On July 30, Chiron also goes retrograde in Aries until 2026, and you end the month in introspection, with the need to take care of your health more. This month is a reminder that you can make plans, but divine timing will always have a say.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
July is a month of closure for you, Taurus. You begin the month with Uranus going retrograde in your 2nd house of income, and it’s a good time to prepare for a rainy day. Uranus is going to be shifting the dynamics in your life when it comes to your financial investments, earnings, and sense of stability, and it’s time to open your mind to what is possible for you and your abundance in life. You are learning to be fearless when it comes to owning your authenticity, and knowing that who you are is unique and worthy of love.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon happening in your 9th house, creating an opportunity for travel plans to follow through, or you just feeling more adventurous in general. Mid-month is about letting go of old belief systems that don’t resonate with your heart, and clearing the way for the new to be built in your life. You end the month with Chiron retrograde in your 12th house of endings, and you are learning through what is transforming in your life.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You are a powerhouse this month, Gemini. This is a month of achievement, success, and growing more deeply into your power. We begin the month with Venus entering your sign from July 4 until July 30, and love is taking you to new heights. This is a good month for making relationship developments, and for being received well. You are growing in your inner confidence and self-love, and this is creating more harmony in your partnerships as well.
One of the most important astrological transits of the year happens for you this month, and that is Uranus entering your sign on July 7, where it will remain until 2033. With Uranus now being in your sign, you are entering a journey of freedom, rebellion, self-expression, breakthrough, and immense change. You are dancing to the beat of your own drum and will be surprising others by how much life changes for you over the next eight or so years. We end the month with Mercury going retrograde in your 3rd house of communication, remember to think things through as you close out the month.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
July is a month of communication, creativity, and self-expression, Cancer. Cancer Season is here for you, and you are moving through the month claiming your power, speaking from the heart, and balancing your needs with others’ needs in your life. The Full Moon of the month on July 10 is your opportunity to let go of anything that has been weighing you down in your close partnerships, and to create room for more stable, committed, and fulfilling love to enter.
On July 24, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be happening in your 2nd house of income, abundance, and self-worth. You are evaluating how you want to show up and ask for what you need, and are preparing for a financial breakthrough. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for your financial world and to see new ways to create a stronger foundation for yourself here. We end the month with Venus entering your sign from July 30 until August 25, and love feels a little more intense, passionate, and purposeful now.
Your guidance for the month overall is to know that you are the magnet for the things you want in your life, and that you have the power to rise above and claim them.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Joy is what this month is about for you, Leo. You are entering a fulfilling time in your life, where everything comes together for you better than you have ever imagined it to. Mercury goes retrograde in your sign this month from July 18 - August 11, but it’s not stopping you from enjoying your life and living out your truth. You are moving through this Retrograde fearlessly and learning more about yourself in the process.
Leo Season officially begins on July 18, and it’s your time to shine your light, Leo. With the Sun in Leo, you feel like your authentic self is being recognized and loved, and you are healing from a space of feeling like you have to do it all alone. A few days later, we have a Leo New Moon on July 24, and this is the time to set your intentions for your future and for how you want to show up in the world moving forward. July is your month of fulfillment through growth, compassion, and community, and for feeling like you have everything you need.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
July is all about perspective, Virgo. You are getting inspired this month, creating new plans for your life, and owning an adventurous side to yourself. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations for most of the month, July is a great time to manifest your dreams and to feel more powerful in creating your reality. Some Virgos could be traveling this month and seeing previous plans through, and you are gaining clarity on a lot of aspects of your life by doing things in a new way right now.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde this month and will be retrograding through an area of your life that has to do with healing, closure, spirituality, and your dream world. Pay attention to the messages you are receiving during this time, because they are guiding you towards your healing and personal empowerment. The New Moon on July 24 will also be highlighting your need to close one chapter of your life and begin another, and you are closing out the month with a new perspective in your heart and soul.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
This is a month of fulfillment for you, Libra. A lot of things are falling into place for you in July, and you are owning your freedom and independence right now. Uranus enters your 9th house of travel at the beginning of the month, and you are entering a new journey in your life where you do things in your own way and when you break free of the status quo. You are growing so much mentally this year, and July is when the work you have done internally is being reflected externally.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 4th house of home, family, stability, and emotional harmony, and you are finding your balance. This is a Full Moon of forgiveness, and one where you are recognizing the power in self-care and taking care of your inner world. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Leo, and you are seeing a breakthrough happen within your friendships, community, and support system. You have some exciting opportunities coming your way this month, and you are living life in your own way and on your own terms.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
July is about protecting your energy, Scorpio. You have been setting your intentions and creating the life you dream of, and it’s important to create boundaries from those who don’t understand your vision or support you right now. With Uranus moving out of your 7th house of love and entering your 8th house of transformation, after changing things up in your relationships for the past eight years, you are ready to break free from old pain, experiences, or uneasiness in love.
Mercury goes retrograde this month on July 18, and will be retrograde in your house of career. This is the time to take a step back, go over your goals, and give life time to catch up to your dreams. The New Moon on July 24 will be activating this same area of your life, and you are getting glimpses of what is possible for you and your sense of success as you end the month. Overall, your main message this month is to not give up on who you are and what you are building towards, and to know that you are on the right path.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
This is a powerful month of growth for you, Sagittarius. You have the Midas Touch, and you are creating abundance in your life. With Venus and Uranus moving into your 7th house of love, partnership, harmony, and wealth, there are a lot of new opportunities coming your way right now. You are someone who is out-of-the-box and does things their own way, and this energy is serving you well right now and making you a magnet for new opportunities to enter your life.
Mid-month, we have a Full Moon in your 2nd house of abundance and self-worth, and you are feeling more appreciation and value in your life. Previous financial intentions and plans are coming to fruition for you now, and you are ready to let go of the self-doubt of it all. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this New Moon is asking you to take more creative risks and to trust that you are on the right path, even if it looks different than others. If it feels right for you, it probably is, Sag.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Everything comes to fruition for you this month, Capricorn. July is your month of achievement, closure, and claiming your power, and you are doing so confidently. The Sun is in your house of love and partnership for most of the month, and July creates a space of happiness and commitment within your close relationships. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, and life comes full circle for you. Everything you have been building in your life over the past year is being reflected to you now, and you are feeling a lot of gratitude for where life is today.
Mid-month, your ruling planet Saturn, goes retrograde, and this is shifting the energy in the home. Whatever dynamics that have felt a little shaky for you in the home or with family are being addressed now, and you are learning the importance of healing your inner world and doing the work internally. With a New Moon in your 8th house of transformation to end the month, you are getting a little more vulnerable in July, and it’s surprising others, but even yourself. This is your month of closing one door in your life in peace, and seeing a new one bloom in the process.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
July is about taking things slow and thinking things through, Aquarius. Relationship dynamics in your life could be causing some challenges or confusion, and it’s best to choose your battles wisely right now. With the Sun in your house of health and daily rituals for most of the month, it’s important to take care of your well-being before you try to fix anything else. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of healing, closure, and spirituality, and this is a good time to reflect on everything you want to let go of in your life right now and what you no longer want to carry forward with you into your new beginnings.
Saturn, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde in your house of communication this month, and over the next few months, you are going to be learning about the power of your words. Make sure you are only speaking of things you want to bring forth into existence, and be careful with jumping to assumptions right now. Before the month ends, Mercury goes Retrograde in your 7th house of love, and your heart is seeking forgiveness. Know that you can find clarity during this time by being honest with yourself and your heart.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
There is a lot to process this month, and your mind is healing, Pisces. July is your month of overcoming past challenges and letting go of habits and routines that don’t serve you in the long run. Neptune, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde this month, and will be bringing your attention to your values and income world during this time. This transit is allowing you to gain clarity on your financial reality, establish greater self-worth and confidence, and get inspired by what is possible for you and your sense of abundance in life.
On July 18, Mercury goes retrograde in your 6th house of health, and you are ready to let go of the daily rituals or working routines that have been limiting your personal growth in some way. It’s time to examine what your body, mind, and soul are asking for right now, and to have the power to let go of what doesn’t resonate with your overall well-being. Before the month ends, Chiron goes retrograde in your 2nd house as well, joining Neptune, and there is a lot of healing to be done this month.
You are being asked to see yourself as a powerful, worthy, and loved being you are, and to know that you deserve to feel good about your life and to feel secure in what you are building for yourself and your future.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy