Ah, the Sunday Scaries. It seems a catchy title or cliche name has been given to almost all common age-old experiences, especially with the power and reach of social media. But real talk, the anxiety that hits many of us when we think about facing yet another Monday, is horrifyingly annoying, especially since a lot of times it’s tied to financial and family obligations that we can’t ignore.
For me, I’ve made friends with the Sunday Scaries at various times in my career journey. In the early years, they were prompted by the eagerness to please and move up the ladder at my first few dream jobs in publishing. In later years, as I set out for full-time self-employment, the Sunday Scaries showed their face again, this time due to the utter trepidation that comes with not only attracting and keeping clients and getting steady work but the process of juggling multiple deliverables for those clients.
So, how did I ultimately conquer the Sunday Scaries for good? Here are a few helpful steps I took:
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1. I got honest with myself about what was truly triggering the Sunday Scaries in the first place.
I began to write and noticed that there were various things that contributed to the nagging feeling on Sundays, which is how I was able to acknowledge that those feelings don’t necessarily mean I need to up and quit a job or give life to falsehoods like, ‘I just hate my life.’ For me, fear and insecurity were at the core of welcoming the Sunday Scaries into my weekly routine.
2. Based on those triggers, I wrote down solutions.
Sometimes, it was simply a lack of time management, a fear of failure, or over-commitment to work that I wasn’t really passionate about doing. I found I could implement solutions like:
- Shifting how I spend my Fridays so I’d have more time to spend strictly on self-love, pleasure, and fun.
- Talking with my clients or managers to find out if I could shift away from doing certain tasks and focus more on the work I loved and was great at doing.
- Letting go of projects, jobs, or clients that just didn’t serve my end goal or feed my creative advancement. (In one very unusual experience, I actually did quit after two weeks, and it was the best decision I could’ve made at the time.)
- Taking on weekend chores I really don’t like doing (like laundry, meal prepping, working out, or shopping) during the week.
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- Constantly exploring new job and career opportunities and fun ways to feed my urge to live freely, explore other aspects of life, and avoid feelings of being caged in by routine or monotony. (I grew up in a strict Christian household, so, as an adult, I really don’t like anything that sparks feelings of extreme restriction or lack of control. I found that sometimes the Sunday Scaries were nothing but rebellion clothed in fear, so to balance that, I often explore all my options and create multiple plans of action for things I want to do in life.)
- Going to therapy to talk more about processing through triggers and healthy ways to combat or eliminate them. (I’m still a Christian and enjoy the good things about my upbringing, but there were a few toxic and traumatic routines and memories that really were at the core of why I’d get the Sunday Scaries.)
3. I weighed the return on investment for the essential but not-so-sexy tasks of my job or career.
As much as this is said and written a lot, you’re not going to like every single thing about your job, and the journey is not always consistently blissful. Sometimes certain parts of work cultures, project management processes, or whatever it takes to be a success at work can be downright annoying, nerve-wracking, challenging, and tedious.
As long as I enjoy more things about work than I hate—and the not-so-appetizing but necessary tasks serve a bigger picture of purpose in my career journey—I can realistically say to hell with the Sunday Scaries and take on all that my job entails with humility, confidence, and conviction.
4. I began waking up earlier and scheduling at least 30 minutes on Monday mornings just for my self-care.
No checking emails. No taking care of others. No prepping anything. No scrolling anything. I’d sit in silence, re-watch an episode of one of my favorite Netflix shows, read a book, pray, or make myself a great breakfast to my favorite morning playlist on Spotify or YouTube.
I’d also put my phone in a cabinet or drawer during my me-time, as it often tempts me to check an email or get too immersed in watching hundreds of Reels.
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5. I found something focused on wonder and play to do every Monday (or every other) so that I could look forward to it the night before.
For me, it’s planning a trip or doing something that takes me into another cultural experience as if I’m traveling, like visiting an authentic Greek or Mexican restaurant.
It also could be taking a new dance class, going for a walk in a new location I hadn’t explored, or hanging out with family. And I literally schedule this time on Mondays, like an appointment or meeting—on my calendar—where I am, for the most part, unavailable for anything else during that hour or so that I’ve given myself.
Bonus: I got radical and cleared out my calendar on Mondays.
I once worked with an executive who’d block out a certain day of the week just to go golfing. If you’re self-employed, a freelancer, or you have seniority in your department or company, clear out your Mondays on your calendar, sis. Be deliberate about eliminating the problem altogether. Set boundaries with your clients, teams, or others so that they know you’re simply unavailable and will not be working. Even if you’re not the boss, you can ask for that day off or shift your work week to Tuesday-Saturday. Another compromise: Work remotely on Mondays.
Get honest with yourself about why those Sunday Scaries keep disrupting your peace, and begin to advocate for yourself. Find out where there might be some ways for you to get the mental break you need on Mondays so that they’re not getting the best of you. Tap into your support system, and get rid of routines, so-called norms, and influences that do not serve your end goals or quality of life.
As ambitious, capable, and beautiful Black queens, we must own our time and honor the gift that God has given us—empowered and fearless.
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A Virgo wants a partner who is going to make life less stressful for them, and that only adds positively to their life. They will not commit to just anyone, and Virgo intellectualizes everything.
Yes, everything, including their relationships. They are known for their high standards, but this energy is matched by the dedication, loyalty, and thoughtfulness they bring into their relationships. There is a lot of thought that goes into who Virgo forms relationships with, and if you have caught the eye of a Virgo, you should feel special because that is no small feat.
Virgo Compatibility and Best Matches for Love
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Virgo’s compatibility is unique because, at the end of the day, Virgo is a mutable sign, and they are always shifting and changing themselves. They value certain traditions in relationships, but they are also more progressive in how they go about things and who they attract. Virgos are looking for a partner who is intelligent, inspiring, and stable. They are the type of people to easily get the ick, so if you are interested in a Virgo, make sure you have it together before approaching them.
Virgo doesn’t have a hard time saying no, and they may have a lot of “no’s” before they find their person.
Once Virgo is in love and finds their person, however, it’s like a light has been sparked in them. A Virgo in a relationship brings out a whole different side of this earth sign, and when they feel safe enough to relax and just love, be and give, they are at their best.
Virgos are always there for their loved ones, they are smart, sexy, and they make great partners to have.
VIRGO + ARIES
Virgo and Aries are attracted to each other almost immediately. There is a fun, childlike wonder they both have when they are together, and they have a lot of insight to bring to the relationship. However, these two are often challenging each other as well. Aries wants to break down Virgo’s walls but may do so in a way that turns Virgo off. Virgo wants to keep up with Aries' energy levels and free-spirit nature, but Aries may find Virgo too wishy-washy to commit to.
Virgo and Aries see each other in very different ways than most others see them, and it’s hard to tell if they are absolutely in love with each other or if they secretly despise each other. If they can learn to work together rather than divide, then this relationship can bring a lot of abundance to each other’s lives.
VIRGO + TAURUS
Virgo and Taurus are a sweet couple. They are very enamored with each other, and they form a dedicated, loyal, and loving relationship. Virgo doesn’t have to try hard to win the affection of Taurus. The Virgo senses that they are accepted and loved by Taurus just as they are, and this is beautiful for Virgo. Taurus feels Virgo is strong, hilarious, and loving. Taurus admires Virgo's loyalty and the effort they put into their life and their relationships and wants to form a bond here.
The great thing about earth/earth sign relationships is that they get to know each other better than most, and they feel safe in each other’s presence. Their energy in the bedroom is magnetic, and they are often dancing in sync with each other. However, if a betrayal happens or trust is lost, this will be the detriment of the relationship in the long term.
VIRGO + GEMINI
This is a curious, exciting, and intense relationship. Gemini inspires Virgo but can also deeply trigger this earth sign through impulsiveness and irrationality. Gemini and Virgo are both ruled by Mercury, the planet of the mind. There is open communication in this relationship which is the couple’s strong point, but for Virgo, a lot of this tends to lead to overthinking. Gemini doesn’t make sense to Virgo, and Virgo doesn’t like when they can’t make sense of something.
Gemini doesn’t sense this from Virgo and just wants to have a conversation with the mind of someone who is so intriguing and unusual to them. Their openness mentally and in the bedroom are what fuels this relationship, but there may not be enough compatibility and stability here in the long run. The relationship between Virgo and Gemini is often better as a friendship or business relationship at the end of the day.
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VIRGO + CANCER
Virgo and Cancer form a loving and sweet relationship. Cancer is instantly intrigued by Virgo and finds them endearing. Virgo can sense Cancer’s attraction toward them right away and want to learn more about this mysterious water sign. Virgo is interested in Cancer’s emotional world and learns a lot from Cancer about their own emotions. Although Cancer’s heart may feel too overpowering for Virgo’s rational mind and Virgo too analytical for Cancer’s openness, this usually isn’t a dealbreaker for them.
This is a relationship that is in it for the long term, and it often just works. What they both provide or want to provide in the relationship fits with one another, and this is a relationship that continues to get better with time. They are both best friends and lovers, and if they live together, their home would be clean, safe, and comfortable.
VIRGO + LEO
This is a passionate, rejuvenating relationship. Virgo and Leo are royalty, and when they come together, they exude this type of regalness and empowerment. They are both highly self-aware individuals, and where Leo expands energy, Virgo creates it. Virgo loves to be needed and valued, and Leo wants to be admired and adored. Virgo feels purposeful in this relationship as their attention to detail, dedication, and genuine acts of service are all acknowledged by Leo.
Leo feels like they are truly being seen in this relationship, as they feel Virgo’s keen eye and attentive love.
The only downfall of this connection is that Leo needs to lead, and Virgo doesn’t choose between leading or following but absolutely doesn’t prefer the latter. Virgo isn’t as submissive as Leo may assume at first, and perspectives and egos can clash here. If these two are looking for a power couple in life, however, this could definitely be it.
VIRGO + VIRGO
Virgo and Virgo are an odd yet beautiful couple. Virgos are one of the only signs who respect their own sign but aren’t necessarily attracted to the energy as well. No two Virgos are exactly alike, and although Virgos will see the similarities between each other, they will also feel like their own weaknesses are being highlighted in the process, and this is an uncomfortable mirror of a relationship.
Virgos love to make sense of things, yet are very hard to make sense of. In a relationship where both signs are mutable, it can be hard to stabilize the energy and grasp what is going on or commit. They will have funny banter and intellectual conversations and will tend to each other’s needs but may feel like something is missing between the connection at the end of the day.
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VIRGO + LIBRA
Virgo and Libra don’t seem fitting at first until you dive a little deeper. Virgo and Libra uniquely understand each other. Libra highlights Virgo’s beauty and wants them to recognize more of their inner confidence and self-assurance. Virgo helps Libra think rationally and make decisions that benefit rather than create more drama. The problem, however, is that they may start to feel that they are stepping on each other’s toes.
Neither sign is too confrontational, and this relationship can be filled with a lot of beating around the bush and passive-aggressiveness. When they’re sweet together, they’re sweet. When things aren’t going well, they may go too low and hurt one another. This relationship has a lot of potential, but work will need to be done to make sure things don’t end in heartbreak here.
VIRGO + SCORPIO
Virgo and Scorpio are a match made in heaven, most of the time. No relationship is perfect, but it comes pretty close for both of them. They are both very intuitive, loving, and perceptive individuals, and they bring a lot of the same energy into the relationship. They have a genuine connection they don’t have to fake or work too hard to obtain, and these two love to spend time together and be in each other’s company.
Virgo and Scorpio are a lot alike, but they have enough differences to keep things exciting and help each other learn and grow as well.
The love between the two is felt right away, and you often see Virgo and Scorpio pairings in close family and friend relationships, as well as long-term romantic couples. There is a safeness felt in this relationship, and if they are both in a healthy, evolved stage in life, this relationship is like magic for both of them.
VIRGO + SAGITTARIUS
This couple isn’t one you see often, and when you do see it, you can tell how out-of-the-ordinary, yet so fitting, this relationship is. Think Beyoncé and Jay-Z; this is a great example of a Virgo and Sagittarius relationship. It works because Sagittarius opens up a new world to Virgo and brings out their fun side. They help Virgo not take things too seriously, and this is a couple who knows how to have fun together.
Sagittarius is inspired by Virgo as well. Being a philosophical sign, they admire Virgo’s intellect and belief systems, seeing Virgo as someone who at times, is a little uptight but also respects their stature and the way they handle themselves. This isn’t an easy, compatible relationship, but if they are willing to work together and learn about each other, it can work out.
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VIRGO + CAPRICORN
Virgo and Capricorn are soulmates. This is a relationship where they naturally get each other, and they flow in sync with one another. There is a special bond between a Virgo and a Capricorn, and this bond usually lasts long term. Neither sign gives too much energy into things they don’t think are going anywhere, and with each other, they give a lot. There is something to say about earth, and earth sign relationships, however, things can get stale or stagnant after a while.
The comfort they feel between each other is unforgettable, however, their similarities may be their downfall unless they aren’t actively growing as individuals and in the relationship as well. All this relationship needs is some extra spice, fun times, and more emotional openness with each other, and it has all the chances of making it down the aisle if that is what they are both looking for.
VIRGO + AQUARIUS
Virgo and Aquarius have a mental connection more than anything. They get where each other is coming from, and with the high intellect they both have, this relationship is full of conversation, laughter, and friendship. Aquarius values a mental connection the most in their relationships, which is why they are often very intrigued with Virgos.
Virgo, however, tends to need more than Aquarius is willing to give emotionally.
Virgo needs alone time and handles emotions more rationally, as does an Aquarius, but Virgo is more sensitive to matters of the heart and does need more reassurance here. This pairing may be better off as friends unless they can bridge the gap between each other that is deeply felt.
VIRGO + PISCES
Virgo and Pisces have a unique relationship full of magic, dreams, and also some tough lessons. They are sister signs, meaning these two are on the exact opposite sides of the zodiac wheel, and they have a special kind of relationship. They are basically everything the other is not. They go together like yin and yang, but they can also deeply trigger each other as well due to the opposition. The positives of this relationship are that they are both givers and they are intuitive of each other's needs.
Virgo and Pisces are both very selfless and compassionate in their relationships, and they give each other this type of understanding and attentiveness in love. There is something genuine about the connection between this pair that makes you believe in the impossible.
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