

I Survived The Client From Hell During The Pandemic
Twenty-five—including eight in one day. That's the number of times he called me in a week. He left no voicemail, sent no text, let alone an email. Nothing. He just kept calling me, at inappropriate times of the day and night, all while I was attempting to get some rest on my week off. "He" was one of my clients that I'd been working with for a little while and was recently forced to let go of because of his toxic behavior.
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The phone calls episode represented just a small—and soft—portion of the things he was capable of doing. Even though the several women who preceded me had warned me about him, I was surprised when he showed me his true colors for the first time, which was weeks after we began working together. Mind you, it's not that I didn't believe these women, but as a newly self-employed creative and personal assistant, I needed to secure my bags. Working with him seemed to be a good opportunity at the time. It would allow me to make a decent living doing assistant work for 16 hours per week while still giving me plenty of time to focus on creating—the latter being the most important part to me. Because of that, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. At worst, I'd get to see his toxic behaviors for myself.
Quite frankly, it wasn't the best decision to make. Take it from me, where there is smoke, there's definitely fire. Had I learned my lessons from the reasons that pushed me to quit my 9 to 5 back in 2019, I wouldn't have put myself in a position to be burnt in the first place. And yet, here I was, trapping myself into the same cycle again.
The first time he acted out of line was when he yelled at me as though I was his child. As a matter of fact, my father has never addressed me in such a manner. On the days this client was more irritable than usual—which became more frequent as time went by—what helped me keep my composure was repeating to myself that it wasn't personal. "Perhaps he's in a bad mood or perhaps he's bothered by something I'm unaware of," I'd think. Either way, what I knew for sure was that it wasn't my fault, I never did anything wrong, and I was extremely cautious not to allow self-doubt to rear its ugly head again.
Once people like this 40-something-year-old man succeed to make you question yourself and your actions—when they succeed to get to the heart of your mind and soul by testing your limits and shaking you off balance—that's exactly when you know they've gained control over you. From there, you can be sure that you are losing or have already lost your power.
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Another huge red flag was when he tried to negotiate my hourly rate after we'd already agreed on one when I was first hired. How did I suddenly become too much of an expensive cost to him and his business, and how could he say that I shouldn't be "the only one gaining from us working together"? Sir, did you not need me? The moment I completely lost it and found the courage to tell him that I wouldn't work with him anymore was after extremely disrespectful words came out of his mouth about my passion for writing.
Let me explain.
While he was attempting to make me lower my prices, he was also trying to have me spend more time working with him which wasn't feasible for me. The only reason I offer PA services is that I must make ends meet. It's not because I enjoy it—at all. When I kindly told him that I didn't have the bandwidth to dedicate 10 extra hours of my time to him and his endeavors, he joined the list of the most condescending folks I've ever come across in my entire life. "If you only come here to collect your coins and keep doing your little businesses on the side," he responded, "then I'm not interested."
Truth be told, what he said didn't hit me right away. It only did a couple of minutes later when I began feeling uneasy in my gut while I was driving back home. It was the kind of uneasy feeling that manifests itself when you're faced with unfairness and nonsense. The kind of uneasy feeling that leaves you at loss for words wondering, 'Did he really just say that?' It's the kind of uneasy feeling that leads you to explain the situation to your loved ones and ask them for confirmation that you're not crazy.
I spoke with three women in my family on that day. Each expressed the same reaction when I laid out the facts, and they all gave me the same piece of advice: Ask for your due and leave. Now.
I knew that terminating our work arrangement was the right thing to do, even if it meant that I was giving up on my biggest source of income in the middle of a pandemic when bills are piling up and jobs are difficult to find. With that said, two years ago, I promised myself that I would never allow my professional life to dim my light ever again. It's just not worth it.
Tapping Into My Masculine Energy
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While I'd consider myself a confident woman most of the time, I must admit that one of my weaknesses is that it's easy for others to manipulate me into thinking that I'm not good enough. When my client first began negotiating my rate, my immediate reaction was to revise my prices and calculate the minimum I needed to earn so I could survive. I was willing to sacrifice myself just to help him save a few bucks. Let me tell you, sis, this is not how you want to do business. Just like in love, you are the prize in this case, and you must act accordingly.
It's your clients that need you, not the other way around. And if they ever try to flip the script and tell you how much you're worth, then tap into your masculine energy so much that they start feeling bad for thinking that they had the permission to fill in your price tag themselves in the first place.
Self-confidence is key in general, we all know that. But it's even more important to embody it when you're your own boss. No external factor should be able to shake the foundation of your business—you, for instance—to the point it ultimately collapses.
The moment I tapped into my masculine energy, my mindset changed. So, when my client told me for the umpteenth time that he's going to "spend less if he hires an assistant through a certain organization," I responded that it was his choice to make. One thing I wasn't going to do was sell myself to death. You either want me or you don't, period.
Believe me or not, he never discussed my rate again from that moment. I'd won—and I knew that I was going to because he needed me.
Putting My Eggs In Multiple Baskets
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A fellow freelancer once told me, "I'd rather work with several clients that make me earn a small amount of money each than making a ton from working with only two big clients." It's probably one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given in business.
Even if this client was my biggest source of income, it wasn't that big of an issue to stop working with him because I still had other streams of income. Of course, my income significantly decreased but fortunately, money was still coming in—enough for me to at least pay my bills. Imagine if I did grant him his request for those 10 extra hours. That means I would've lost even more money in the end. I probably wouldn't have been able to walk away at all.
Building Myself A Financial Safety Net
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Building yourself a financial safety net isn't easy, I know. I know the struggle of not having a penny left to save when the end of the month approaches, let alone the difficulty of choosing between living your life to the fullest or eating every day. Trust me, I've been there and done that, both while living on my own and as a child when my parents got divorced and my mother could barely afford us to be alive anymore. However, you know how the saying goes, "Nothing worth having comes easy," and the older I get, the more I understand the importance of building ourselves a financial safety net. Especially in such uncertain times when we're forced to operate in sink or swim mode.
Had I not stacked all the money I earned for a year—which I must thank the pandemic for—I probably wouldn't have been able to walk away from such a comfortable and secure income. Since March 2020, we've all been stuck at home, forbidden to travel or entertain ourselves doing anything that would normally involve spending a lot where I live, and I'd been transferring all the money that I earn to my savings account. As of now, taking into consideration the loan I have to pay off, rent, and less significant bills, I can survive for at while without working. Needless to say, it's a pretty big amount that I managed to save, although probably less than you think since life is kind of cheaper in Europe. Every day, I'm tempted to spoil myself and surrender to my need for luxury, but I don't.
As self-employed women, we remain in boss mode at all times. We cannot afford to ignore our budgets and let money burn holes in our pockets. We must keep in mind our plans for the future and anticipate any financial disasters that may come our way. Self-employment is a synonym for freedom, but freedom is expensive.
I make sure to never lose sight of that.
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The most Gemini woman you'll ever meet. Communications & community enthusiast, I run a media platform centered around spirituality, and I'm always looking to connect with fellow creatives. Follow me on Instagram & Twitter @savannahtaider
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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