The presidential debates have been a spectacle to watch to say the least, with the first one between President Trump and Democratic candidate Joe Biden sparking ridicule, outrage, confusion, and contention. (With all of the spewing of snide remarks, off-topic rebuttals, outright lies, and deflections from the issues, you would have thought you were watching an old episode of Jerry Springer or a Real Housewives reunion special.)
For the second debate, which brought vice presidential candidates Sen. Kamala Harris and Vice President Mike Pence head-to-head (with a plexiglass barrier between them, of course), the vibe of the night was the total opposite---one of composure and actual dialogue even remotely related to the questions posed.
Notably, Harris brought to the debate table what many Black women bring to corporate boardrooms, offices, classrooms, and Zoom meetings every day: a respectable poise and poignant intelligent eloquence to combat the constant gaslighting, informed ignorance, outright misstatements, and dangerous apathy that we all have faced at some point in our careers.
If you need a reminder on how you can continue to thrive and shine despite the challenges, Harris gave us five during the debate:
Own your look and slay.
Sen. Harris' understated but classy attire and hairstyle showed the room who she was before she even opened her mouth. The monochromatic navy suit, pearl earrings and necklace, and perfectly coiffed press-and-curl didn't distract from her points or their seriousness, and gave the warning that she didn't come to play. Whatever your look is---conservative, chic, sexy, casual or quirky---cultivate it, own it, and use it to your advantage as a tool for branding yourself as a standout leader or expert in your field.
Take up space unapologetically.
Being a pioneer is a feat within itself, and Harris is boldly taking on the challenges of being under an international microscope. During the debate, she did not cower or resort to insults. Whether you agree with what she said or not, there's little doubt that she indeed held her own, confidently stating her opinions and talking points. This is something we all must do when tasked with a job whether as a manager, supervisor or team member.
Paras Griffin/Getty Images
Use your words strategically and with tact.
When presenting her points, Harris chose her words carefully, made sure her tone was respectful but authoritative, and did not back down. When you're trying to drive a point and get buy-in on an idea, present a new concept, or propose an improvement, it's a good idea to use tact and be conscious of your delivery when doing so.
Lean on facts.
Pence came at Harris with fears that Democrats would pack the Supreme Court so that there are more liberal-minded justices added. Harris countered with facts: "Do you know that of the 50 people who President Trump appointed to the court of appeals for lifetime appointments, not one is Black? This is what they've been doing. You want to talk about packing a court, let's have that discussion." Pence said it was a "great insult" to law enforcement in reference to the notion that implicit bias against people of color is a prevalent problem. He even denied the existence of systemic racism.
Harris countered with facts about Trump's ban affecting Muslim-majority nations and his calling Mexicans rapists and criminals. (And we all know that research supports that systemic racism is more than real. Just check here, here and here.) In the same way, let the facts lead when communicating in professional settings, especially when you're negotiating a raise, asking for a promotion, or even defending yourself against a misunderstanding or workplace snafu. Performance insights, protocol, and results don't lie.
Keep your composure, especially when someone tries you.
When taken to task about her record in prosecuting cases involving people of color, she respectfully chin-checked Pence (though some might question the context and strength of her counterpoint), and throughout the debate, she sternly reminded Pence to respect her turn to speak a la Auntie Maxine Waters with the now-viral phrase, "I'm speaking." It's OK to be passionate about something or even disagree, but in a professional setting, it's best to keep your cool, show grace to others, and use your words, not your emotions, to make an impact.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image via Giphy
Those rumors were more than laid to rest when Jodie and Joshua went to the 2023 Oscars together earlier this year, and even more recently, when they celebrated her birthday together last month during the September unveiling of the Lotus Emeya.
Jodie Turner-Smith celebrates her birthday with husband Joshua Jackson at the unveiling of the new fully-electric Lotus Emeya on September 07, 2023 in New York City.
Brian Ach/Getty Images for Lotus
Despite seeming particularly happy and in love, perhaps the writing was already written on the wall even then. In the past, Jodie has been very celebratory publicly about her love for her estranged husband, even boldly recounting their love story for the books in a 2021 interview with Seth Meyers.
When Jodie and Joshua met, it was while at his birthday party in 2018. Their relationship was hot and heavy from the start, with Jodie openly noting that they began as a "one-night stand." During her 2021 interview with Seth Meyers, she jokingly referred to their love story as a "three-year one-night stand." She shared:
"First of all, I saw him before he saw me and when I saw him, I was like, 'I want that.' And then when he saw me, I just pretended like I didn't see him. He had to yell across the room to me, and I was wearing this T-shirt from a movie called Sorry to Bother You and [actress] Tessa Thompson plays a character called Detroit, and she has this T-shirt that says, 'The Future Is Female Ejaculation.'
"And so, he shouts across the room, 'Detroit!' He comes over and… does this really cute, charming thing that he does and just all night -- he just basically followed me around the party."
The couple were together from that moment forth, and even made things "Instagram official" less than two weeks later while on a dinner date. Joshua would later clarify to Insider that the night they met in 2018 was not a 'one-night stand' or a 'three-year one-night stand' like his then-wife joked but instead, it was "technically a three-night stand."
"It was sealed with a kiss that night and then we didn't leave each other's sides for, well, three years now," Joshua continued at the time.
In a July 2021 interview with Jimmy Fallon, Joshua dropped more details about the why behind getting married. He revealed that he didn't know he wanted to get married to Jodie until "the moment she asked me."
"She asked me on New Year's Eve. We were in Nicaragua. It was very beautiful, incredibly romantic, we were walking down the beach and she asked me to marry her."
He added, "I did not know [she would propose], but she was quite adamant and she was right. This is the best choice I ever made."
Joshua Jackson Reveals Jodie Turner-Smith Proposed To Him
Jodie received quite a bit of flack for proposing to Joshua because it goes against tradition and what society sees as acceptable for a woman to do to a man, and proposing isn't one of them. No matter how much time has passed, the viewpoints around who should do the proposing and who should be proposed to are still very traditional.
After being on the receiving end of such backlash, Joshua would later clarify to the media in a separate interview that it wasn't just Jodie's proposal to him that sealed the deal of them getting married, he proposed to her too. She might have initiated it, but Joshua followed through.
"I accidentally threw my wife under the bus because that story was told quickly and it didn't give the full context and holy Jesus, the internet is racist and misogynist," he explained to Refinery29 that same year. "We were in Nicaragua on a beautiful moonlit night, it could not possibly have been more romantic."
David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images
He continued, "And yes, my wife did propose to me and yes, I did say yes, but what I didn't say in that interview was there was a caveat, which is that I'm still old school enough that I said, 'This is a yes, but you have to give me the opportunity [to do it too].'"
"She has a biological father and a stepdad, who's the man who raised her. [I said], 'You have to give me the opportunity to ask both of those men for your hand in marriage.' And then, 'I would like the opportunity to re-propose to you and do it the old-fashioned way down on bended knee.' So, that's actually how the story ended up."
Joshua and Jodie would eventually marry in December 2019. Shortly thereafter, Jodie gave birth to the couple's first child, Janie, in 2020.
In a recent interview with Elle UK, Jodie shared the ways becoming a mother to Juno helped to heal her of her wounds from colorism she experienced in the past. "It's interesting because I had a lot of resistance to becoming a mother and, throughout my life, I always said if I were to have children, I wanted to have Black, Black babies so that I could affirm them as children with the love that I felt I needed to have been affirmed with by the outside world," Jodie shared with the outlet.
She continued, "Then I fell in love with my husband and we talked about having kids. I did have this mini pause, where I was like, 'She's going to be walking through the world not only having an experience that I did not have, but looking like people that, in a way, I'd always felt a little bit tormented by.' Now that I've got this little, tiny, light-skinned boss, I feel like it’s the universe teaching me lessons. I've been given a daughter who looks this way to heal my own conversations around colorism."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Amy Sussman/Getty Images
