

Meet The Founder Behind These Personality-Filled Soy Candles
Ever have life test you and force you into unknown territory? Sometimes, those challenges can birth our biggest blessings and yield new pathways for our lives that we never planned or imagined.
This rings true for wife, mother of two, and founder and "Chief Chandler" of Posh Candle Co. , Tay Watts.
Posh Candle Co. sells hand-poured 100% soy candles (and accessories) that come in containers with memorable sayings and scents such as "Bad and Bougie" , "Grey Sweatpants", and "Allergic to Bulls**t". While Tay always had a passion for crafts and entrepreneurship, it wasn't until she was in graduate school and found out she was unexpectedly pregnant with her second son that she realized she'd need to merge these two interests to fuel another source of income for her family. At seven months pregnant, Tay launched Posh Candle Co. with the mission to inspire women to be their authentic selves.
Tay chatted with xoNecole about the successes and curveballs she's experienced running her Posh Candle Co. and how she's evolved as a solo entrepreneur. She also discusses the critical moment in her business when she was forced into full-time entrepreneurship, how she balances motherhood, critical resources that have been instrumental in her personal and business development, and tips for others looking to stand out in crowded niches.
Check out Tay's story below!
What is the need you are trying to fill with Posh Candle Co.?
I thought about the way that I use candles and the way they were being presented to me at the stores. I wasn't finding that connection. I burn candles when I'm in work mode, when I'm cleaning, catching time to myself as a mom, during bathtime or when doing meditation. I wanted the phrases to promote or encourage a positive mindset, promote self-love, or spark laughter. For example, our "F**kboy Repellent" is one of the candles that make people laugh.
Courtesy of Posh Candle Co.
"I wanted the phrases to promote or encourage a positive mindset, promote self-love, or spark laughter."
What were some of the biggest challenges you faced early on?
[At the time], I was in the middle of my last year of graduate school. I had my final papers, internship, and then a newborn. I was trying to find that balance of work and life. [Also, candles involve] a lot of testing. You simply don't just mix a scent and wax and put it out there. It can take months before you find a perfect combination. There are some scents that don't work well in soy wax. It took me about six months to develop the first four scents. Recently, I've been working on a scent and it's been about six months.
A lot of money goes into getting samples of fragrances from different suppliers and sourcing the jars from different connections. You want to connect with suppliers who offer high quality materials. You're collecting samples from all over to make sure you're getting the best. You don't want to mix something together and send it out to people and they're like, "What is this?"
Did you have any prior entrepreneurial experiences? How did you start building your customer base?
I took eight years of failure and put that into Posh Candle Co. My first business was back in 2008. It was a jewelry company. I was one of those people that thought you could put up a website and people would find you. I quickly found out that was not the case. I got one order in one year. I [also] had a soap business. I've done hair, bath and body.
Prior to launching Posh Candle Co., I had a long talk with myself. I said if I'm not willing to put everything into this, don't start it. If I'm not willing to go super hard, then I don't deserve it. To me, the common theme of why all of those projects failed was simply me. I wasn't going out and learning out what I needed to. I wasn't applying all of my talent. I wasn't interested in learning about SEO. I was doing the bare minimum. I decided I was going to put my all into it and see what happens. Within those few months of launching, I was head down - full throttle. Within six months, I had an order for 5,000 candles.
"I decided I was going to put my all into it and see what happens. Within those few months of launching, I was head down - full throttle. Within six months, I had an order for 5,000 candles."
How did you get that first 5,000-candle order?
I was building relationships. I was in a few Facebook groups for entrepreneurs every day networking and giving free advice to other people. Also, I started reaching out to influencers and upcoming bloggers. I told them we were a new candle company and they looked like they would enjoy our product. [I asked], "Can I send you something? There's no pressure for you to post it." These were micro-influencers so they were excited to get something for free. They would get the candle and repost it. My idea was to show that somewhere in the world someone had my candle and were enjoying it. That was a strategic way to create trust. I pay attention to a lot of the things I'm drawn to and the things I do before I purchase and apply that to my business.
What’s a challenge you’ve had since launching?
The biggest challenge is growth and how I'm not yet at the point of building my team. I have no idea how to hire someone. Wholesale orders are getting bigger and coming in faster to the point where I'm so wrapped up making them that I don't have the time to sit with someone [and train them.]
If you want to scale, [I've learned] you should start with a business plan. I went with whatever was going to help me provide income. I wasn't really thinking about the long-term. If you're really serious about it and thinking in the future, that should [be included in your plan.]
Why did you diversify your product range?
I'm not just a candle company, but I create an experience. Diversifying offers you more opportunity to sell to your customers. People have different preferences. Maybe someone isn't a candle person but they like incense. They are going to become your customer. The sage, the Palo Santo… all of those are different items that create a mood and fragrance in your home.
"I'm not just a candle company, but I create an experience. Diversifying offers you more opportunity to sell to your customers."
Why did you decide to run Posh Candle Co. full-time?
For several months, I did the balancing act. I'd get up at 4 A.M. and take a one hour commute to work. I worked at a busy mental health clinic until 4 P.M. and then the commute back home was two hours. When I got home, I'd have to fulfill all my orders. Mental health has always been my passion. I had no intentions of quitting my 9-5. I was going to stick it out until I became licensed. Posh Candle Co. was never supposed to be full-time.
One day, I went to work and lost my job in a really weird way. They said my position was borrowed from another clinic and they want their position back. It took me about 15-20 minutes to realize I was getting let go. When it hit me, I cried in my office. What was I going to do? There's nothing more scary than being a full-time entrepreneur. You don't know what you're going to make day to day. A 9-5 is very safe. I took two days to feel sorry for myself. The turning point was the third day, I remembered that I asked for this. I was miserable commuting every day. I saw it as a sign to go.
"Posh Candle Co. was never supposed to be full-time. One day, I went to work and lost my job in a really weird way. It took me about 15-20 minutes to realize I was getting let go."
How do you balance work and motherhood?
It's all in the planning. You need to identify your most productive hours out of the day. For me, those hours are 3 A.M. - 9:30 A.M. Typically, that's before my kids wake up. I'm already up doing the most important things that I need to do. Having my kids with me every step of the way, I recognize their needs as well. After I'm done doing what I'm doing in the first part of the day, I make sure they get what they need. Maybe we'll go to the park, a museum, or see family. I use that as a way to wear them out. I know in the afternoon, I'll need to get more things done.
What tips do you have for standing out in a crowded market?
I looked back at the theme of what I've done in the past and I wasn't being myself. Everything you see on social media or the content I produce is all mine. The silly jokes I say, those are mine. I use my own authentic personality to find my tribe.
What keeps you going?
When people launch their business, they tend to chase others who are at a higher level than they are. My advice is to network at your level - network across. Take people with you.
It's about building relationships. Build authentically with people. When they get, you get. When you get, they get. It's about looking out for people and creating a community that you can rely on for support.
Courtesy of Posh Candle Co.
"It's about building relationships. Build authentically with people. When they get, you get. When you get, they get. It's about looking out for people and creating a community that you can rely on for support."
What’s your favorite business resource?
It used to be Shopify resources . Now, I came across this YouTube account called Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. Finding that has been a game-changer. I love seeing different women from different backgrounds being interviewed and talk about their story and how they came up. If you're not social like me, it helps to see them and feel understood.
To learn more about Posh Candle Co, visit www.poshcandcandleco.com or @poshcandleco on Instagram.
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- The Black Owned Business Highlight: Posh Candle Co. - YouTube ›
- Posh Candle Co (@poshcandleco) • Instagram photos and videos ›
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Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find , there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecole exclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause , marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression , anxiety , like all of it, mental health challenges , all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry ’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy . If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures , and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood , her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff , which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You , which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
How This Wealthy History-Making Couple Found Love By Breaking The First Date Rules
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Have you ever heard the saying, “You can't have it all?” Do you think there’s any truth to it? The more I resonate with the thought, I realize it just depends on what one considers “all.” In this “How We Met” story, I chatted with two individuals who have reached an unusual level of success but, for years, celebrated it alone. Now, they have a beautiful marriage centered around faith, family, and legacy.
But the journey to getting there required them to be uniquely intentional, submit fully to God, and practice an amount of vulnerability that I think most people would find uncomfortable – especially on the first date.
Santia Barnes, known more commonly as @Trackbaby001 on Instagram, earned the highest-paid contract ever for a woman in American football. Also, she is the first female athlete to have her own shoe company. With a combined social audience of 3 million followers, she’s established herself as a mega-influencer in the health/fitness and lifestyle space. But surprisingly, in our 48-minute phone call, we only discussed this for roughly 60 seconds. Instead, I had a beautiful conversation with Santia and her husband Isaac, a successful tech entrepreneur , about their dream-like partnership.
His company was one of the fastest growing in his county for two years, and he is the only Black entrepreneur to win a federal aviation award for being a government contractor. Plus, he previously won a $13.4 billion contract with the Air Force and Space Force (cues, "he got money" in my best Quinta Brunson voice). But seriously, both of them have such an amazing story alone – yet they made it even better by finding each other. It almost sounds too good to be true, right? Well, Santia felt the same way. In fact, on their first date, they actually tried to disqualify each other. Here’s how it went.
Let’s start from the beginning. How did you two meet?
Isaac: Well, firstly, we connected through the divine grace of God. But we met on Bumble and talked there, and she gave me such a hard time (laughs). But we built a connection online and then took it offline to the phone and eventually in person. Since that meeting, we’ve been stuck like glue.
Santia: Yes, we met on Bumble. But I’ve gotta add to that. I was pretty much done with love, relationships, and especially online dating. But it was right around Valentine's Day, and I felt like God was telling me to try just one more time. So, I created my profile and made it very blunt; I was super clear about what I wanted. I started swiping for a few days and eventually came across his profile, and I noticed our profiles were very similar.
I felt like it was rare for a man to be that intentional. Also, I like that he was attractive and an entrepreneur. I felt like he could understand my life. It took him a couple of days to swipe back, though, and I was little in my feelings. I was literally going to delete the app when he DM’d me . So, it was really the grace of God.
Tell me about your first date. What was the chemistry like?
Isaac: She was late (laughs). But we went to Seasons 52, which made sense because I’m vegan, and she likes to eat healthy. So I made reservations, but again, she was late. Eventually, she got there, and when she did, I saw the entire room shift. It was the weirdest thing. I’ve never seen that in real life. It was like the whole restaurant was looking at us. So we got a table, and immediately, it felt like our energy flowed together so smoothly.
You know how first dates can be awkward? This was exactly the opposite. She grilled me, and I grilled her. We asked some of the deepest questions ever. It was like we were trying to disqualify each other. After dinner, I walked her back to her car because she was recently injured. And in that moment, God talked to me. I knew that this is what it is.
Santia: We talked for like three hours on that date. I remember in the conversation, I said, “Not to be weird, but your energy makes me feel very calm.” That was a big green flag for me. I also remember him walking me back to my car and not trying anything but genuinely just caring for my leg. I was like, this is different. It was an A+ date.
"We asked some of the deepest questions ever. It was like we were trying to disqualify each other. After dinner, I walked her back to her car because she was recently injured. And in that moment, God talked to me. I knew that this is what it is."
Photo courtesy of Santia and Issac Barnes
So, what are some of these intense disqualifying questions y’all asked?
Isaac: We asked everything. We talked about our thoughts on kids, marriage, church, gender roles , family, past relationships, and trauma.
Santia: Yeah, we asked everything they tell you not to. But that’s how I knew he was the one; he didn’t get uncomfortable.
Okay, so if you were still dating, walk me through that next step. What was that conversation like when you two decided to take it to the next level?
Isaac: I had a business trip I had to go to in Orlando, and because of my connection with the Creator I knew she needed to go on this trip with me. She was overcoming tearing her ACL and just needed a break. So we took a road trip together. We drove from Atlanta to Orlando in the car for 8 hours, and we just did the work. We got into childhood trauma and aspirations. It got deep –
Santia: Like, I cried. I discovered stuff about myself I haven’t talked about with anyone else.
Isaac: In that moment, I developed a deeper sense of trust in her because of her vulnerability . And after that trip, I just knew. She still had some concerns, but I was good (laughs).
Santia: Yeah, because I felt like something had to be wrong. Like, I remember calling my mom and she tried to help me just embrace it. Eventually, I actually asked him, “ What are we ?” And he literally said, “You’re going to be my wife.” And I still was like, are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend though, and he did – and I said yeah. (laughs). But that was only like a month in. It was very quick.
It seems like communication has been a core part of your relationship. What are some important lessons you’ve learned about yourselves individually through loving each other?
Isaac: That’s hard to answer just for this week. A lot of our stuff is self-discovery. But I’ll say, I learned how skeptical I was that this is possible. Also, I learned that all of what I went through is crafting me to be who I am today. Through this relationship, I’ve learned to embrace my 100% authentic self. Her love matters more to me than anything else, and that’s my #1 priority.
So if she accepts me how I am, who is the world to tell me I can’t be this way? She has allowed me to see myself more than any other human, and because of that, I have to shower her with as much love as possible.
Santia: I don’t even know where to start. He’s taught me a lot since day one. He made me more confident in who I am. As an influencer, you don’t always know who is there for the right reasons. But he’s made me feel 100% more confident in standing on who I am. He’s also taught me so much about business. He taught me how to open up more, not feel shame in who I am, and how to set boundaries and stick to them.
And Issac has melted every fear, doubt, and insecurity I’ve had about relationships. I could keep going, but overall, he has a really amazing way of teaching me in a loving way. Having someone that sees and understands me – and not just the social media me – but Santia Barnes, the individual, has been beautiful, and I’ve never experienced it until now.
"Issac has melted every fear, doubt, and insecurity I’ve had about relationships. Having someone that sees and understands me – and not just the social media me – but Santia Barnes, the individual, has been beautiful, and I’ve never experienced it until now."
Photo courtesy of Santia and Issac Barnes
How do you guys navigate past struggles, baggage to work toward your relationships?
Issac: On our honeymoon, I vowed that I would come into this relationship with a clear understanding of what’s holding me back so I can be my best self going through our marriage. For example, on our first day over there, we both wrote down all of the negative anchor thoughts we had around money and finances, and we literally went through every thought.
I found 50 financial aspirations, and every time I read something that I didn’t agree with, I wrote it down. And we talked about where these negative thoughts came from, going back to childhood.
Santia: We do that all the time. If anything comes up, we talk about it, try to get to the core of it, dissect it, and we solve it.
Okay, seriously do ya’ll argue at all (laughs)?
Santia: I mean, if we feel something, we say it.
Isaac : The way we got there is that we established early on that if we’re going to do this we have to be on the same team. We have a championship we’re trying to win, and that’s a family legacy . If something is going on, I’m gonna treat it like my teammate is going through it, and we’ll work through it. But it’s impossible not to have any challenges.
Santia: We don’t have to yell, scream, or be disrespectful though. We can talk in a calm voice and disagree. As long as we know that we’re on the same team, we’re good. I always know we’re not purposely trying to hurt each other, and I know that he's my partner. Looking at it from that lens changes things. We’ve only had two real arguments . It was early on, and when we dissected those too, we realized that back then, we didn’t know each other the way we do now. We weren’t sure we were on the same team (laughs).
Do you guys have any rituals or daily practices that help keep your relationship strong?
Isaac: To cement our process, we listen to our spiritual practice. We practice Sabbath every Friday evening until Saturday evening. So that means no work, no outside communication, we’re just in each other’s skin for 24 hours and experience the world together. Then we recap our week, things we’re grateful for from each other and from God, things that bother us, and then we process it right there. We do that every week.
Santia: We also go over a Bible verse and dissect it together. We have a lot of processes because when you have a plan, you can’t really fail.
Isaac: And the Bible verse always relates. It’s crazy. (laughs)
Photo courtesy of Santia and Issac Barnes
What are your love languages?
Santia: Mine is acts of service, gifts, and words of affirmation
Isaac: Mine is physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation.
Are there any challenges you guys had to work through?
Santia: This is my first time living with a man. So things that guys do – like not flushing the toilet, putting dishes in the sink when I’m washing the dishes, and stuff. Honestly. I was really scared about that because I love my space. But surprisingly, I adjusted very quickly. We both work from home and have our own offices, too. So it just kinda works out.
Isaac: For me, it was going from being a single man to adjusting to her needs. For example, she likes flowers. To me, that meant I occasionally bought her flowers. But to her, that means, nah, I want them multiple times a month. Date nights meant occasionally to me; she wants them weekly. It’s just about making sure our needs and expectations are articulated correctly. We come from different worlds, so it’s important to do that.
Finally, I’ll close with how did you know it was love?
Santia: We took a trip to NOLA – another road trip. I cried again and just remembered thinking there’s no one like him. I was like, God, if he’s not my person, this is a cruel joke. But more blatantly, like three months into us dating, I was so conflicted because I was like, I’m falling, and I don’t want to be hurt again.
I remember I had a dream where I was in this dark room and there was this figure there, and I knew it was God, and in that dream, I feel like he told me clear as day that Isaac was my person. Plus, my Mom hates everyone I’ve ever dated, but she was like he’s gonna be my son-in-law. I had so many confirmations that I eventually just let go.
Isaac: It was multiple moments. I really got confirmation on the first date , but I became sure in one moment. I was sitting in my office, and she came in, and we were talking about her making history. So I started showing her some of my awards, too, and at that point, she still didn’t know what I did. And she was like, why don’t people know about this, and I showed her my Facebook page – where I had made a small post with a few likes (laughs). And she was like, do you know how many young Black children don’t know this is possible? It was different.
I felt like a hypocrite because I do everything for the next generation. So, she allowed me to see myself in that totality and still hold me accountable. The only person who had done that for me was my Dad and [he] passed away a few days before my 18th birthday. So after that, that did it for me. Then we went to the DR for my brother's anniversary, and she met my family and I saw how well she blended with my family, and I just knew.
Santia and Isaac are continuing to grow their individual businesses and love journey. Through that process, they have created an intentional dating platform on Instagram called @dateintentional1 .
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Featured image courtesy of Santia and Issac Barnes