
I like themes. When it comes to sex specifically, I think it's a way to tap into your creative side and surprise your partner with new approaches to copulating. Well, since spring is officially here and summer is on its way, I figured that this would be a great time to share 15 ways where you can bring this time of year into your boudoir in ways that you may have not ever considered before.
Because, after all, the only thing better than sex is the kind that's got plenty of "Whoa. Where did that come from?" energy added to it.
1. Break Out Your Bikini
I know. Typically, when we talk about sex and the art of seduction, it's lingerie that's mentioned. Yet I was surprised that, when I asked some men to describe to me the look that turns them on, a lot of them said that they really enjoy seeing their partner in swimwear. And you know, when I really sit and think about it, I guess that makes sense because the styles of a lot of swimsuits are really sexy. So, in the spirit of spring and summer (which is when we all get into the pool and ocean the most), why not put on your (or his) favorite bathing suit? He probably won't see it coming, it's definitely on-theme and how could he not enjoy taking in the kinds of sights that only happen around this time of the year?
2. DIY Some Lavender Massage Oil
When folks are out on the beach, what's something that they commonly do? Rub sunscreen on their bodies—or each other—right? If you've got on your swimwear, switch it up a bit and swap out sunscreen for massage oil. Massages are beneficial because they relax you, improve blood circulation, increase flexibility, reduce cortisol (stress) levels and can definitely make you feel closer to your partner.
So, whether he's rubbing some oil all over your sex pressure points (check out "Feelin' On These Pressure Points Will Give You The Best Sex Of Your Life") or you're out to give him a tantric massage (check out "Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage"), you definitely can't go wrong by warming up some DIY massage oil first. Hands down, out of all of the essential oils that can help to put you into a mental state of tranquility, lavender would be it. And since it's also a popular summer flower, I'm pretty sure you can see why I went with giving it a massage-scented shout-out. If you want to go this route, a couple of easy recipes for lavender massage oil is located here and here.
3. Buy Some Cooling Sheets
Personally, I'm someone who likes to go to sleep when my bedroom is really cool. I'll turn down my thermostat and, don't put it past me to turn a portable fan on too. Still, I can't tell you how many times I have awakened in the middle of the night to try and figure out why I'm so hot. A few years back, I did some research and discovered that it's usually because our bodies change temperatures throughout the evening.
A way to combat that? Buy some cooling bedsheets. They're specifically designed to allow cool air to surround your body while wicking away moisture that can cause you to feel overheated. On the sex tip, this can really come in handy because most of us get a little hot 'n bothered (in the best way possible, of course) while we're doing-the-do. Anyway, if cooling sheets is something that you'd like to look into, The Sleep Foundation has a list of some of the best ones that are currently on the market. You can check their list out here.
4. Add Some Greenery
One of my favorite things about my bedroom is the tall fake tree that's in one of its corners. It being there just makes the entire space feel more comfortable. There are local arts and craft stores that sell them for a fair price. Shoot, if you put a couple of those in your bedroom and turn the fan on? You could easily find yourself feeling like you're straight up in the middle of a jungle or forest. It's like having outdoor sex without all of the outdoor drama.
5. DIY a Sex Piñata
Most of us know that piñatas are a Mexican-based tradition where a big container is filled with goodies. Usually, they are made out of something like papier-mâché, people are blindfolded and they try and hit it until something falls out. I don't recall ever seeing a piñata at any indoors party which is why I thought it would be cool to mention for this particular article.
Instead of putting candy inside of a piñata, why not put some sex-themed goodies in it instead? Flavored condoms. Small tubes of lube. Adult dice or sex tokens. Dark chocolate (since it is an aphrodisiac). Edible panties. Anything that is sex-focused that can fit into a piñata and won't hurt once it falls out. Go into your backyard, hang the piñata up, have you and your partner blindfold each other, take turns taking a whack at it and have some sort of sex-related "prize" for the one who is able to break it open.
Now tell me that's not creative and festive AF. Places like Party City, Michael's and the Oriental Trading Company typically carry them.
6. Make Your Own Lemonade Lubricant
Speaking of lubricants, the best thing about them is they make things wetter, right? And since we're talking about spring- and summer-themed sex, is there anything more refreshing that a tall glass of homemade lemonade? Why not merge the two things together by making your own lemonade-flavored lubricant? All you need to do is combine one-fourth cup of aloe vera gel with one-fourth cup of flaxseed gel. Then add 3-5 drops of natural lemon flavoring (which is the oil of the lemon not the juice) and BAM—a natural lubricant! While it's more for external use (oral sex) than intercourse, it can still be a real treat. Try it and report back.
7. Adjust the Lights
When it comes to setting up the overall atmosphere of your bedroom, overhead lighting is too harsh and complete darkness can sometimes impede the ambiance of it all. In walks, colored light bulbs. In honor of all things spring and summer, go with green or blue ones. As far as green goes, it represents nature, freshness, prosperity, fertility and harmony (I've always liked that there is a Scripture in the Bible that simply says "our bed is green"—Song of Solomon 1:16). Plus, did you know that green light helps to reduce migraine discomfort in some people? As far as blue goes, it's the color of water—and calm, serenity, inspiration, peace and trust. Y'all, when two naked bodies are moving around in dim green or blue lighting in the middle of the night? There is something about it that visually takes sexual arousal up a couple of notches—and then some.
8. Incorporate Citrus Scents
Smell is one of our five senses (the others are sight, taste, touch and sound). Whether you decide to go with an oil diffuser, a soy candle, a spray for your bedding or even a plug-in, consider using some citrus scents in your bedroom. Orange and lemon scents are signature spring and summer ones. They're also great because they improve your mood, give you more energy and relieve anxiety. Try 'em.
9. Try Some Strawberry-Flavored Deep Throat Numbing Spray
Speaking of oral sex, if something that you want to get better at is performing fellatio, have you ever heard of throat numbing spray? If you happen to have a sensitive gag reflex, spraying this on your throat can make being a "giver" easier. Although the brand GoodHead™ Deep Throat Spray comes in a few different flavors, since strawberries are a fruit that are at their peak around mid-May, why not go with that one? If you want to give it a shot, you can purchase a bottle of the spray (for under $14; the reviews are pretty good too) here.
10. Incorporate Some Wine Ice Cubes
Because red wine increases blood circulation, including to the genital region, it has long had the reputation of being an aphrodisiac. That said, the lead GIF for this? It comes from the movie Do the Right Thing when Mookie and Tina were enjoying some summer foreplay of their own.
Anyway, drastically changing the temperatures on your body from hot to cold can definitely heighten sexual arousal. So, rather than going with some regular ole' ice cubes, pour some red wine into your ice trays. Then, once they're frozen, rub them all over each other. It will feel and taste amazing. It will help to put you into the mood too.
If you're not a wine fan, another approach is to make some fruit cubes. All you're literally doing is putting tiny pieces of fruit and fruit juice or water into the ice trays instead of just water alone. Pineapple is great because it contains the enzyme bromelain which can naturally increase testosterone levels. Cucumbers work because the Vitamin C in them can improve bodily blood flow. Apples are another good idea because the polyphenols and antioxidants in them also increase blood circulation. Plus, fruit cubes taste really good.
11. Put Popsicles (or Frozen Berries) into Your Sex-Themed Cocktails
Back to Mookie. Something that he did to Tina while rubbing ice cubes all over her body was tell her the different things that he found to be sexy about her. If you're not someone who is stellar at dirty talk, a way to ease into it is to follow Mookie's lead. A less self-conscious approach would be to toast your partner (something that I'm naturally big on anyway). How?
Last summer, I wrote an article for the platform that featured summer-themed cocktails that can help to stir things up (check out "8 Summer-Themed Alcoholic Drinks That Can Boost Your Libido"). Put a couple of popsicles or a handful of frozen raspberries or blueberries into your glass. With each lick of the popsicle or each berry that you put into each other's mouths, take turns talking about what turns you on about each other. The words of affirmation combined with the licking visuals and the buzz of the alcohol can turn things into quite a special night.
12. Snack on Some Slices of Watermelon
Here's a food-related point that never gets old. Another fruit that is best eaten during the summertime (July thru August) is watermelon. And whew boy, if there's one fruit that has one of the best reputations around for being an aphrodisiac, this would be it. So much, in fact, that it has earned the nickname "natural Viagra". Watermelon is a sexy fruit because it contains a great amount of the amino acid citrulline. When it's consumed, it has a tendency to dilate blood vessels which is awesome when it comes to men who want to maintain their erection. As a bonus, since watermelon is 92 percent water, it's a natural way to keep you lubricated. And that's always a good thing.
13. Cop Some Waterproof Sex Toys
If you're always down for a good sex toy and you do plan on spending some time in the water this spring and summer seasons, do you have any waterproof sex toys that are currently in your possession? Whether it's a clitoral massager, a finger vibrator or a pocket-sized oral sex stimulator, when your toy can go into water, the sky really is the limit when it comes to your sex options—and locations.
14. Have Sex Outside
If you are a little daring and you're down for having sex outside, think outside of the box a little bit. Wait until dark and have sex in your car (make sure to bring along some of those ice cubes). Stand behind a tree and do it in the standing doggy or—if you're super limber—wheelbarrow position. Drive to a dead-end road and get on the hood of your vehicle. Go to an amusement park, request a private cab on a Ferris wheel and have at it. Go hiking and get off of the path (if you know what I mean). These are just a few suggestions that can help to get your imagination going.
15. Don’t Forget About National Orgasm Day
How much do I support folks having as many orgasms as possible? For now, I'll just share seven articles on the topic that I've written for the site:
- "10 Hacks To Help You Climax More Consistently"
- "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm"
- "How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile."
- "What Is A Super Orgasm & How Can I Have One?"
- "10 Weird & Random Things That Can Prevent An Orgasm"
- "How About Having A 'Mindful Orgasm' Tonight?"
- "U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight"
Orgasms are about experiencing an ultimate high with your partner and that is something that most of us never grow tired of. Well, in honor of all things orgasmic-related, did you know that July 31 is officially National Orgasm Day? Yep, there's an entire day, in the summer, that's totally devoted to you getting your freak on, as much as you want to. Back when I found that out, it had me so hype that I wrote about that as well (check out "Whew, Chile. It's National Orgasm Day!"). You've still got some time to get ready for that day like it's your birthday or Christmas or something. Make sure that you did and watch this be one of the HOTTEST spring and summer seasons for you yet!
Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.
Featured image by Giphy
Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
There is a very specific reason why I decided to write this article before the holiday season officially gets underway. It’s because I once read a study that said it’s quite common for most Americans to double the amount of alcohol that they consume between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
It makes sense when you stop to think about all of the holiday parties, time off, and moments spent with loved ones that transpire around this time of year. And while there is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying some mulled wine, real-deal eggnog, or peppermint martinis, because your health is something that never “takes a vacation,” I thought it was important to share with you some of the benefits (pros) and challenges (cons) that can arise from alcohol consumption.
My main motive? Mostly, I hope that it will serve as a solid reminder to embrace all of the things that you adore about this time of year, so long as you do it in moderation and you weigh the costs.
Especially as far as drinking alcohol is concerned.
PRO: Manages Blood Sugar Levels
GiphyHere’s something that you may have never seen coming. Were you aware of the fact that alcohol can actually help to stabilize your blood sugar? Yep, according to the American Diabetes Association, so long as you leave it to no more than 1-2 cocktails a day, alcohol may be able to lower your A1C levels. Pretty cool, right?
CON: It’s a Carcinogen
GiphyAlcohol is a carcinogen. The reason why this should somewhat alarm you is because carcinogens are things (like tobacco, UV rays, processed meats, etc.) that can increase your chances of being diagnosed with cancer (especially mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach and breast cancer). There are various ways this happens including the fact that alcohol, specifically, can hinder your body from breaking down certain nutrients, it can cause your estrogen levels to spike and alcohol can also cause certain toxins to damage your DNA and certain bodily proteins over time.
PRO: Cultivates Euphoric Feelings
GiphyIf you find yourself feeling more euphoric while you’re enjoying a drink, it’s not all up in your head. Although, for the more part, alcohol is considered to be a depressant, when consumed in small amounts, it can provide a stimulant effect. This happens due to the fact that when you first start to consume alcohol, it causes the production of the feel-good hormone known as dopamine to increase — and since dopamine makes us all feel more relaxed and confident while heightening our senses of pleasure too…well, there you have it.
CON: May Increase Anxiety/Depression
GiphyAs they say, “what goes up, most come down” at some point — and that is what you have to be careful of when it comes to alcohol consumption. For instance, when you drink alcohol, although it tends to initially cause your dopamine levels to uptick, because it is a temporary bodily response, sometimes the dips are lower than the rises…and that is when anxiety starts to kick in. A similar point is made with depression because oftentimes, people with depression-related symptoms, will use alcohol as a way to deflect from what’s really going on with them — and that can make them feel even worse than ever once the buzz of alcohol starts to wear off.
PRO: Has Some Heart-Related Benefits
GiphyWhen it comes to your heart, there are interesting findings surrounding its relationship to alcohol. For instance, some research states that, so long as the consumption is moderate, alcohol can actually help to increase the good cholesterol in your system while also breaking down proteins that can potentially lead to blood clots; both of these factors alone can reduce your chances of dying from heart disease.
CON: Packs on Pounds
GiphyIt’s no secret that alcohol tends to contain quite a few calories. That’s why, it’s not uncommon for people who’ve lost weight to mention “I’ve stopped drinking” as one of the causes for the shed pounds. That’s not to say that there aren’t some alcoholic beverages that have less calories than others including vodka (133 calories per serving), white wine (148 calories per serving) and tequila (99 calories per shot). Just keep in mind that the more you drink, the more calories get into your system and the more weight you stand to gain.
PRO: Lowers Inhibitions
GiphyAlthough you really should only be uninhibited around people who you absolutely trust, if that person is your partner and you’re looking to have a pretty — eh hem — active evening, alcohol can certainly help to make that happen. The science of it all is the prefrontal cortex of your brain is what regulates your inhibitions and levels of self-control. Meanwhile, alcohol suppresses your inhibitions which can cause you to be more spontaneous and open to trying things that you might not immediately do if you were sober. And with the right individual, that can be sexually beneficial (emphasis on “right person”).
CON: Makes It Harder to Orgasm
GiphyOn the other hand, as odd as it may seem (in light of what I just said), if you have too much alcohol in your system, it could make climaxing difficult. That’s because orgasms happen, in part, due to your nervous system being stimulated — and since alcohol is technically a depressant…well, it could reduce nerve sensitivity (especially as far as your clitoris goes) for you while making it challenging for your partner to remain erect or have consistent stamina. And yeah, that sucks.
____
‘Tis the season. And with that, if some wassails or hot buttered rums are in your immediate future — hey, don’t let me stop you — not even a lil’ bit.
All I’m saying is now that you know what alcoholic drinks have to offer (both ways), you can know exactly how to incorporate them into your holiday plans. Enjoy!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Unsplash









