

Sometimes, when a married couple comes to me and says that they are struggling with feeling truly connected with each other, I'll recommend that they have sex, every day, for a month (check out "Having Sex Every Day. For A Month. Straight. Can Transform Your Marriage."). I won't lie to you. Some of them end up looking at me like I have totally lost my mind. In fact, oftentimes the initial response/reaction will be, "Who has the time to do all of that?!" I mean, we've all got 24 hours in a day, right? On average, many of us easily spend as much as 2 ½ hours on our various social media accounts and sex? Well, men can climax in around five minutes and it takes us somewhere between 20-25 (foreplay included). So yeah—seems to me that if you've got almost three hours to be on Instagram or TikTok, you've easily got 30 minutes to copulate.
And here's the thing—aside from the sheer pleasure that sex (well, at least good sex) offers, there are so many other reasons why making it a top priority, yes on a daily basis, is something that you really should strongly consider doing. If you hear me but you're not fully convinced, I've got 10 (and there are so many more than this) strong arguments for why sex—and more specifically, climaxing during the act—should become as essential as having three meals a day. Every day.
1. Orgasms Will Make Your Immune System Will Be Stronger
Without a strong immune system, our health is consistently compromised. And guess what? The more orgasms you have, the stronger your immunity ends up becoming as a direct result. First up, sex is a pretty good form of exercise (per 24-minute session, men can burn about 100 calories and we can burn around, pardon the pun, 69) and when we get cardio in, it helps our body to fight off germs and free radicals. Also, the more we have sex, the more our immunoglobulin levels (the antibodies in our blood) increase; if we orgasm, they go up even more. Another cool point is when we have orgasms, we actually give our body a nice lil' lymphatic massage. The awesome thing about that is when this part of our body is stimulated, toxins are able to leave our body easier. And that's always a good thing.
2. Orgasms Will Help You Stress Will Be Less
Nothing and no one is worth you stressing yourself out. I mean it. Stress is linked to heart disease, asthma, diabetes, depression, obesity, accelerated aging, and even premature death. Well, something that is increased during an orgasm is oxytocin. What's dope about this particular hormone is it's got the nicknames "the happy hormone" and "the love hormone". That's because, a part of what it does, is send chemical messages to your brain to feel better and closer to your partner. Since both of these things help to relieve a significant amount of tension, you can probably get why having an orgasm can have you feeling like you're walking on clouds—and giggling incessantly while you're doing it.
3. You’ll Look Younger From Having Orgasms
Something that transpires during an orgasm is your body releases a hormone known as HGH. What that stands for is human growth hormone. Well, the amazing thing about this particular point is whenever you cum, HGH is released. Something that happens in connection with that is your system receives a surge of collagen which makes your skin look more soft, supple and radiant. Right. Folks be out here spending millions on department store creams when all they need is to get some more often. I've even read that having sex 2-3 times a week can cause you to look as much as 10 years younger over time.
4. You’ll Feel Sexier From Having Orgasms
When you get a chance, please check out the article, "10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem". There really is no way around the fact that having sex—again, good sex—makes you feel sexier. It's a great way to feel more comfortable in and confident about your body. It helps to affirm aspects of you that make you attractive and special. And, when you're able to give and achieve orgasms, it can bring forth an inner assurance and boldness that is completely unmatched.
5. Orgasms Will Cause Less Headaches to Happen
I'm not sure who came up with the "I've got a headache" as an excuse to not have sex. Whoever it was needs to have this article forwarded to them because actually, right after you orgasm, your oxytocin and endorphin levels surge to the point where any pain that you're feeling is able to significantly decrease. This includes discomfort that is associated with headaches and migraines. As a bonus, orgasms can also increase blood flow to your brain, which gives it more nutrients and ultimately makes you mentally sharper as well.
6. More Orgasms Can Help Regulate Your Period
Is your menstrual cycle literally all over the place? Something that happens when we climax is a flow of blood and nutrients that our body needs rushes down to our reproductive organs. As a direct result, it can actually end up regulating your period. Believe it or not, there are studies which actually support the fact that women who have an orgasm, a couple of times a week, are far more likely to have a period every 26-33 days than those who experience them less often.
7. DHEA and Estrogen Levels Will Increase with Orgasms
Did you know that orgasms can promote healthy hormone production? Let's start with your DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate). It's the hormone that helps men to produce testosterone and women to produce estrogen. Well, every time that you orgasm, this level spikes up. That's a good thing because DHEA also contributes to things like stronger brain function, healthier body tissues, and great-looking skin. As far as estrogen goes, we need that to stay our gorgeous feminine selves and balanced estrogen levels play a significant role in that. Plus, estrogen is what keeps our vagina tissues in great shape—so that we can have even more orgasms. See how that all works out?
8. Your Blood Circulation Will Get Better From Orgasms
Steady blood flow is critical to our overall health and well-being. Guess what can help to make this happen? Yep, you already know. When you climax, the blood circulation in your body ramps up, to give all of your organs more vitamins, minerals, and oxygen. This helps to strengthen your cells, remove excess waste and boost brain power (for starters). Meanwhile, poor blood circulation can cause all kinds of problems including high blood pressure, muscle cramps, heart disease, strokes, and organ damage. If you see no other reason to have an orgasm a day, let this point serve as your motivation. It could help to save your life. Yes, quite literally.
9. You’ll Be More Faithful in Your Relationship
Oh, don't act like women don't cheat out here (check out "Women Cheat More Than We Think. What To Do If That's You."). Anyway, I remember a husband once saying to me that you don't want to eat when you're not hungry. His point was, when your sex tank is full, it tends to be more challenging to be tempted to cheat. Many couples totally agree with him. I have been told, countless times over the years, that when sex is good and consistent (both, not either or), there is far less of a desire to "dip out". Guess what? When it comes specifically to orgasms, there's a study that reveals that women who fake orgasms are far more likely to cheat than those who don't. I mean, if you'll lie in one area of your relationship, what's to stop you from lying elsewhere? Besides, how long can anyone go acting like they are fulfilled when they really…aren't?
10. Orgasms Will Help You Sleep Like a Baby
I don't know about y'all, but back when I was gettin' it in, there was no sleep that was better than following a couple of orgasms. It was literally like I was dead to the world in the best way possible. That's not some random happenstance. When you orgasm, the endorphin levels (including your oxytocin and prolactin hormones) in your body increase. At the same time, cortisol (your natural stress hormone) ends up decreasing. Plus, your pituitary hormone vasopressin is triggered when you climax and that can make you want to catch some extra zzz's too.
Yeah, while a lot of people are out here thinking that sex at night is due to convenience, another reason so many of us are fans is because it is one of the most effective ways to get a good night's rest too!
There you have it. 10 solid reasons to strongly consider having an orgasm, not every once in a while or even once a week—but every single day of your life. Your mind and body will adore you for it. Science has just proven it.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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