In westernized society, we have rejected so many aspects of the divine feminine and feminine energy. At this moment, women are being criminalized by their own reproductive system and women fighting for their rights are seen as vulgar, unattractive, and undesirable. We blame Jezebel without acknowledging Ahab's responsibility. The features of Black women are desirable, while actual Black women as a whole are given a hard time, and then people wonder why we are sometimes defensive. Women empowerment has been a marketable business for women who behave like mean girls in real life *sips tea*. But as you heal your feminine energy and accept your feminine power as an individual, you create healing all around you.
Everyone has divinity within them because we were made by the divine source, God.
Some of us walk in it, and some of us simply do not know how to. We try to suppress our feminine energy, thinking if we think like a man, we will get ahead in life, especially in dating; but the truth is God made women and men differently for a reason and it isn't punishment. Some of us don't really know how to honor our femininity, nonetheless, let it empower us and bring us together as Black women and embrace the fact that our femininity is unique.
We suppress our true selves and resist our true desires and measure our ability to endure pain as strength.
Despite the negativity we were taught about femininity throughout history, it actually represents abundance, growth, creativity, fertility, expansion, connection, flow, and joy. We never stop to think about the reason why the Earth is referred to as "Mother Earth" and nature as "Mother Nature", and here is a hint: it's not because she plays small. To truly unlock your power, keep reading.
How You Can Start Healing Your Wounded Feminine Energy
Identify where you are wounded because there is most likely a broken little girl inside of you.
This step is the hardest because you have to address when, how, and why you were wounded. For example, is your self-esteem wounded? If so, investigate how it got there. Were you teased by other girls because of your unique look, and now as an adult, you don't trust other women? In instances like these, or any example where other people are involved, remember that whatever pain or insecurities they incite are reflections of them, not you. Forgive them, let it go, and stop wounding yourself and others by carrying that burden with you. It's not yours to carry.
As a grown woman, you have just validated your pain while reworking your inner narrative to better serve your higher purpose. A lot of us are stuck in the heart of a little girl who may have been molested, raped, raised in an invalidating and strict household or one of neglect, etc and it shows. It is not your fault what happened to you but it's time to choose your beliefs because until you do, that little girl is going to keep on picking broken people to love, and repeating broken unhealthy patterns. Therapy, prayer, meditation, and positive affirmations do wonders at this point in the healing process.
Make taking care of yourself inside and out as essential as the air that you breathe.
Your self-care has to be as automatic as making your morning tea with a face mask on after prayer and reciting your affirmations. Your pores must ooze "I love me" and this is internal work, not external. You must eat as if you love yourself, talk as if you love yourself, love others as if you give a damn about yourself, and even if you lack in this area, you will start to vibrate higher. Love yours, all of yours, especially you in your natural state.
Make a conscious effort to find new ways to be comfortable in your skin. If you are a woman who depends on makeup and weaves to the point that you feel like a complete mess if you miss your hair appointment or leave the house bare-faced, learn how to love and take care of your hair the way it grows naturally out of your scalp and your skin without makeup. Letting your hair, your skin, and the rest of yourself breathe is essential for growth and healing. This is an act of resistance; you were divinely made and while society may want you to think you are missing something to sell you products, you have all that you need to be beautiful already Ms. Melanin. Let it pop sis!
Surround yourself with other women who have a high vibration, and other sources of feminine energy.
Hanging around dope women is how you recharge your feminine battery. The competition between women is because of the illusion of scarcity. The sooner you realize other women are not your competition, the better because we can all shine. Start surrounding yourself with women who you admire, who light up a room, and who are comfortable in their skin. When you see a woman who hates on other women and/or has little compassion for women but sings men's praise all day, pray for her and stay away from her, she is wounded.
Most of the negative feelings you may have about other women stem from a place where you are wounded and what you say about other women in malice speaks more about you than them.
Every bomb woman you run into is not going to be your friend, and that's okay. Every woman interprets their femininity differently and there is no use in policing them; instead embrace them and let them empower you to embrace yours. It helps to turn off the trap music on the way to work and listen to some female rappers/singers to help you connect with yourself. Don't you remember that vibe of making a playlist of your favorite music to listen to on your CD/cassette player? Get back to that place where you were belting out " Weak" by SWV, and vibing to "That's the Way Love Goes" by Janet Jackson and trying to repeat the tongue-twister in Missy Elliott's "Work It" while doing your cleaning in the house. Art by black women, including music and literature, were created while she was flexing her divine feminine energy in the form of creativity. Soak that up, she left it for you.
Make pleasure a core principle.
Close your eyes and masturbate to your imagination sometimes. Buy something made with your favorite textured fabric because you love how it feels against your skin. Stop by Lush or Whole Foods to splurge on some high-quality moisturizing soap. Cook a meal that is both rich and flavorful and healthy for you so you can close your eyes and really enjoy the taste. Pamper yourself at least once a week! Enjoy life and connect to your positive feelings and the glow will come from within. These types of activities help you connect back to your senses and feelings, which are some of your biggest assets.
Express yourself creatively.
This is major because as women we are natural creators, not only from the womb but from the mind. Fashion, cosmetics, hair, music, art, literature and many more forms of creativity help you express yourself and connect with others. If you usually rock your own hair, experiment with some extensions every now and then to create a new look. Add some pieces to your wardrobe that challenge your usual vibe. Be playful with your appearance sometimes! Dive back into a creative outlet that you enjoy, and you will see yourself looking to it as catharsis instead of letting frustration build inside of you. The great part is, the way you express yourself creatively most likely can convert into profit.
Abundance honey, abundance.
Learn how to get comfortable receiving.
Many of us have a hard time taking something as minute as a compliment, and then wonder why we aren't manifesting the way we want. We need to start not only being okay with receiving but to actually start expecting miracles in our lives. Women were built to receive! So many of us operate solely from our masculine energy out of necessity because we feel like we have to. In order to survive, some of us have to be aggressive, constantly on the move, highly analytical and logical.
Give yourself permission to lean back and surrender to this beautiful thing called life every once in a while because you have survived your worst days and it is time to thrive. It's time to restore balance. Get in touch with your God-given intuition and let it guide you sometimes because that's how you strengthen it. Learn how to surround yourself with people you can submit to. Be vulnerable every once in a while and show your underbelly so the people close to your heart will show you theirs.
By taking steps and educating yourself on feminine energy and how to heal yours, you will love yourself deeper, radiate love, and invite more divine masculine energy into your life. Let it flow, let it glow, and lastly thank God you're a woman!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Featured image by GIPHY
Originally published on August 18, 2019
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New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
This Millionaire Lawyer Proves Principles and Strategy Can Still Lead to Wealth
Blake Walker Esq.’s story is not your typical "get rich quick" tale—it's a blueprint for building long-term wealth through strategic thinking, savvy investing, and faith. Blake’s journey took her from behind the scenes in entertainment and sports to becoming the Chief Legal Officer at Gala Games, a pioneering blockchain and entertainment company.
Along the way, she’s learned the importance of saving, investing, and setting herself—and her loved ones—up for lasting financial success. In this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Blake shares the key money lessons she's learned, including how to make your income work for you, the power of multiple revenue streams, and why you don't need to be Instagram or TikTok (RIP,..maybe?) to become a millionaire.
Whether you're looking for investment tips or just need a mindset shift around money, Blake’s advice proves that with the right strategy and mindset, real wealth is possible.
On her background
Well, I’m originally from Baltimore, Maryland, but I was primarily raised in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was heavy into entertainment and sports growing up. Actually, in high school and college, I had my own radio show. But college is when I got into technology, Bitcoin, and cryptocurrencies. I’ve always loved research and the idea of being ahead of my time. I think that’s what led to a lot of my work.
My background includes working in the NBA for the Phoenix Suns, behind the scenes in production at companies like NBC Universal and Lionsgate, and then I transitioned into technology. Now, I’m the Chief Legal Officer of a large tech company that also incorporates entertainment and sports. So it’s full circle.
A lot of past experiences from the industry and in general, led me here. Entertainment, sports, and tech taught me to save, make, and invest money and set myself and my family up for a successful future.
I don't feel like I would have gotten that in other industries that are non-financial. I think you see a lot of people making mistakes in entertainment and sports. I've been taught about management of funds, not only by my parents but from my experiences at work.
On her relationship with money
So I grew up well, I always start with that to give my parents credit. But one of the reasons I’m so passionate about sharing my voice is because I noticed there was such a difference between my family in Arizona and my family in Maryland. The opportunities are vastly different.
I learned very early on about investments, stocks, and bonds. Also, I’ve never seen my mother work a regular job. She's always had her own business since I was young - so I learned the power of entrepreneurship. My mom would teach me about business and building something from the ground up. She started with not a lot and then skyrocketed into this massive business that took care of our family for over 20 years.
My Dad was really big into investments and stocks, learning about different currencies across the world and teaching about the importance of banking and the importance of saving. So from both of them, I had a pretty solid foundation that money is not everything. Being rooted in God and the Holy Spirit is what matters and being a blessing to others. But if you are not being a good steward of your finances, then how are you going to be a blessing for others?
I learned very early on about investments, stocks, and bonds. Also, I’ve never seen my mother work a regular job. She's always had her own business since I was young - so I learned the power of entrepreneurship. My mom would teach me about business and building something from the ground up. She started with not a lot and then skyrocketed into this massive business that took care of our family for over 20 years.
On unhealthy financial habits
I would say for me, the number one thing was shopping. Because I had access to funds at a young age, I had to learn what’s important early. Just because you have it doesn't mean you should spend it. That's where saving comes in. It’s all about balance. I mean, some people save too much, and that can come from a survival mindset.
Some people just spend it all because they think that the fountain is endless and money will just keep coming. Both are terrible concepts and routes to go down. Personally, I just had to learn to reel it in with fashion purchases. It was my stress relief. Some people go to the gym, some people eat, some people read a book, right? I would go to the mall, right? I had to learn to save and spend - that took away the guilty feeling.
On budgeting
I’ll tell you about mine for the year. It’s basically all about my fixed bills (like rent, mortgage, utilities, our payments, things of that nature). Then, I also have a budget for food, beverages, and going out. And I have a shopping budget so that I stay within a certain range. Also, I have an investment budget.
The way that you can do that with the investments is to figure out how much you make, then make sure a certain percentage of what you're making - net income is going towards investments. I don't care if it's small, something that you think won't make a difference. You never know what it’ll do years from now, and make sure those investments are spread throughout wherever they go. Finally I also have a budget for saving.
People operate differently. You can actually take the money out of your account and put it in an envelope or transfer it to an entirely different account. Speaking of bank accounts, it’s good to have one where your check is deposited and then a certain portion that you transfer over. You can have different accounts for transferring to a single account, they transfer to an investment account, so you can keep track of where your money is flowing to.
On a time when she struggled financially
When the market crashed, things were just hard. The life we were accustomed to, we just weren’t able to live anymore. It was like 2008 or 2009. I want to say I was 18, and it was such I strange time. I remember thinking, how do we pivot?
It taught me how much the market has an impact on our families. The biggest lesson, though, was the importance of planning. For me, it was all about learning how to have a strong foundation. We just had to keep going no matter who was calling or what bills were coming - we just kept going. It taught me a lot about the power of mindset.
It taught me how much the market has an impact on our families. The biggest lesson, though, was the importance of planning. For me, it was all about learning how to have a strong foundation. We just had to keep going no matter who was calling or what bills were coming - we just kept going. It taught me a lot about the power of mindset.
On her multiple streams
I have my salary that I make with the company that I work for. I work for a company called Gala. We're a blockchain technology company and entertainment company. And then, I also have what's called an unfamiliar term: nodes. Nodes are essentially what they distribute, what we call tokens. So, with the distribution of tokens, I make a certain amount of money each month.
Also, I have real estate. And then I have my money in a high-yield savings account, which you get money based off of your interest. I have a Goldman Sachs account called Marcus account. So [focus on] where you have your high-yield savings, your CDs. The idea is for your money to make money for you.
What I did is I would take Bitcoin [and] Aetherium cryptocurrencies; all of those are considered multiple streams, because I make money off of them. For example, this goes back to the investment. So if I have a property and I'm making a revenue stream off of that property, you double that revenue stream by putting it in different investments.
Then, at that point, let's say I make $100,000 a month off of one property, right? Let's say $25,000 of that is put into my Marcus account [with] a 4% interest rate, and then that money makes money for me. A portion of my salary goes to buying different cryptocurrencies. Make $100,000 free, then a portion of that is going to purchasing different currencies
On creating wealth with a 9-to-5
I tell people all the time if you're working a nine-to-five and you want to start your own business, use your salary and invest in a high-yield savings account. Don't just let it sit in your regular bank account, which is like point .001% or 3% account, and then the next thing you know, you can have an extra $10,000 to go towards the business that you want to start. The money should always be working for you.
I’m not for struggle vibes. I see so many people that are in my generation, that feel like they either have to be on social media to be successful. Being a millionaire at my age, I’m telling you, there's so many other routes! And you can do it at a young age; don’t wait until you’re 50 or 60 to start figuring it out.
On your final goal
I want more properties - globally. I've already started to get into the hotel business. I want my future children to be able to have tangible assets. Basically, I want a very diverse portfolio and a lot of real estate. It’s very much about generational wealth.
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