![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![It's About Time You Broke These Bad (Natural) Hair Habits](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU0MzUwMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTc2NTg4NjIzN30.b_oqc0xcuUU7-k3_AksqxB-Zqugp1jR4klK-rfEmx5w/img.gif?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C15%2C0%2C15)
It's About Time You Broke These Bad (Natural) Hair Habits
It's kinda crazy what inspired me to pitch and then pen this article. I was watching Usher's visual for "Bad Habits" while trying to figure out why a particular small area of my hair was thinner than it needed to be. I came to the conclusion that it was because I was manipulating it too much by always taking that particular cornrow down and braiding it up again. And that got me to thinking about so many of the bad natural hair habits that a lot of us have; ones that prevent us from getting the long-term hair results that we want.
If you're sick of your own tresses not flourishing as much as you would like, take a moment to see if any of these habits are ones that you definitely need to break.
1. Keeping Your Protective Style in Longer Than You Should
I don't know one naturalista who hasn't heard that one of the best ways to achieve length retention is by putting their hair up in a protective style. As I said a second ago, my hair is currently in cornrows (a personal favorite style of choice). I dig them because, not only do they keep me from having my hands in my tresses all of the time, but protective styles are also a great way to protect my ends as well (damaged ends are the main reason why most of us don't get the inches that we want). Still, too much of a good thing can easily work against you.
In this case, if you've got your hair in some braids or twists (via your natural hair), they really need to remain in there for no longer than a couple of weeks. Braids and twists with extensions, you're pushing it if you keep them in for longer than two months. The reason why is because your hair and scalp need to be thoroughly washed and to take a break from the stress that protective styles can cause if you've got them in for too long. One day, I'm gonna share how protective styles can actually be the reason why your hair isn't growing. For now, though, just don't keep them in for a billion years. It's the kind of bad habit that doesn't get discussed, nearly enough.
2. Using Too Many Damn Products in Your Hair
The beauty industry is a billion-dollar one and we as Black women play a HUGE role in why that is the case. That said, I know there are tons of products out here that make all sorts of promises. But you've gotta remember that companies are looking to make revenue. This means that if they've gotta lie to you and say they have a serum that will fix your split ends (nothing fixes split ends; you have to trim them), that is exactly what they will do.
Anyway, while I'm all about finding products that work best for your hair if you use a lot of them at the same time or you keep switching up, all that's gonna do is either weigh your hair down and clog up your hair follicles (not good) or end up damaging your hair because not all products are created equal and your hair shouldn't be treated as some guinea pig or science project. It typically takes about two months to figure out if something is really your jam on the product testing tip. Try a couple of things out at a time and stick to what works for you, even if it's only a few products. Less is more is always best when it comes to hair care.
3. Not Knowing Your Hair Type and Texture
Let me tell it, I think women struggle with knowing what their hair type is about as much as they struggle with figuring out their correct bra size. When it comes to hair type, the numbers run from 1-4. 1 is straight. 2 is wavy. 3 is curly and 4 is coily. Then there are letters that go with each number, ranging from A-C. A is fine. B is medium. C is coarse. As far as your "numbers" go, YouTubers like Angela C. Styles, IAMTRAEH, and LavishlyBritt all have videos that break hair types down pretty well. As far as your hair's texture, a cool figuring-it-out hack is to take a piece of thread and lay it on a flat surface. Then place a strand of your own hair beside it. If your hair appears thinner than the thread, your hair is fine. If it's the same size, your hair is medium. If it's bigger, it's coarser.
Having this information is essential because it can help you to better understand how to properly care for your hair, what products work best, and ultimately how to keep it thriving. For some tips on all of these things, go to YouTube and put your hair type and texture, along with "natural hair" in the search field and you will see literal days' worth of videos pop up so that you can get to know your hair, even better.
4. Using the “Wrong” Styling Tools for Your Natural Hair
A lot of stylists will tell you that using your hands to detangle and style your hair as much as possible is oftentimes a good look because you can be gentler with your locks than you can with styling tools. But when it comes to the things that you absolutely do need, make sure you've got—a wide-tooth comb; some plastic hair clips (the metal ones tend to snag and tear); a Denman brush; a hair steamer (to lock in moisture); a microfiber towel (it's easier on your hair during wash days) and a blow dryer for your hair type (Red by Kiss Blow Dryer gets a lot of praise if you're a 4-type).
While this is a basic list, the main thing to keep in mind is a lot of metal, a ton of heat or anything that will cause your hair to snag and tear are absolutely no-nos. You really don't need a ton of styling tools; just things that will make getting the results that you want as easy as possible without creating any drama in the process on those pretty tresses of yours.
5. Mishandling Wet Hair During Wash Days
Your hair is definitely the most fragile when it's wet. That's why it's best to detangle your tresses with your fingers as much as possible, to deep condition after shampooing so that your hair is more manageable, and to apply a product that has some "slip" to it when you're using a detangling comb or you're doing something like braiding or twisting your hair for a braid out or twist out. Otherwise, you could end up ripping some of your hair out or weakening the cuticles during the styling process. As far as slip goes, if you'd like a little help figuring out which product would work best, Naturally Curly gave some slip awards to a few. You can check them out here.
6. Trimming Your Hair More than Dusting
One of the reasons why I stopped going to see a professional stylist was because far too many of them don't seem to know the difference between dusting and trimming. Hmph. I've always wondered if a lot of stylists have a secret vendetta against their clients gaining inches because I don't always need a bob— thank you, very much. Whew. Plus, as I've learned more about what does and doesn't work for my hair, I've become a big fan of dusting. Dusting is about getting rid of the raggedy or split ends that you may have without getting rid of 2-4 inches of hair in the process.
If you're nervous about attempting this, the main thing to keep in mind is you need a pair of sharp shears and a good amount of patience. Click here, here and here to watch some videos on how to dust.
Oh, and for any stylists that may have side-eyed me for what I said, I know there are some great ones out there and that some folks wouldn't be able to walk outta the house without one. At the same time, I believe a good one also isn't scissor happy. I'm thinking that we all can agree on that.
7. Having a Complex Relationship with Heat
Contrary to popular belief, I personally don't think that heat is the enemy; I think using heat the wrong way is, though. Back when I got on board with the whole "heat is the devil" movement, I actually experienced a lot more breakage than I do now that I blow my hair out every wash day and then leave it in a protective style (other than the weekends) until the next wash day. I believe it's because this method stretches out my hair so that there is less tangling and it also helps me to nurture my ends easier.
Anyway, that's not to say that huge mistakes aren't oftentimes made in this lane, mostly because people use the wrong kind of heating tools, apply them when they're too hot and/or use them too often. If you're in search of a good blow dryer for your natural hair, Byrdie recently published an article that features 12 (click here). After getting one, always make sure that your blow dryer is on low-to-medium heat and that you ONLY use it once your hair is about 60 percent dry on its own (the drier it is, the less you will be able to singe it). And try not to apply heat more than 2-5 times a month. More than that can definitely damage your hair and even alter your natural curl pattern.
8. Being High-Maintenance with Your Edges
Lawd, the internet. I'm pretty sure some of y'all saw the post of the young lady who mistook Gorilla Snot (which is already quite a beast when it comes to laying hair down) for Gorilla Glue. Well, at the time that I'm writing this, her hair literally hasn't moved in a month. Like…at all which resulted in her going to the ER (check her take on it here and a radio interview with her here). When I watched the video, the first thing that came to my mind is how obsessed a lot of us are with keeping our edges as laid as possible.
Listen, there's no time to get into how I believe that European culture has played a certain role in us having a preoccupation with baby hairs as grown women (goodness). For now, I'll just say that probably the most fragile parts of your hair are your edges and nape. So, constantly weakening your edges' hair follicles by always brushing them down, drying that part of your hair out with gels, and always applying pressure with braids, lace fronts and wigs are all surefire ways for your edges to either thin out or bald altogether.
If you must gel those babies down, make sure to use a non-alcohol gel (Allure published a feature on some of the best edge controls around; check it out here) and definitely give that area a break a few days a week. Sleek edges are cool, but you know what's even better? Having edges, period.
9. Jacking Up Your Wash ‘N Go
When it comes to low-manipulation hairstyles, wash 'n gos always top the list because you don't have to do a lot of styling and touching of your tresses in order to end up with a really cute look. That doesn't mean that too much of a good thing can't go awry though. The wrong products, tugging too much on your hair while it's wet and not knowing how to cultivate a bedtime routine that will result in you messing with your hair as little as possible the following morning all have to be factored in to make this a good idea for your natural hair texture.
If you want to make sure that this heat-free look goes off without a hitch—wash your hair with a sulfate-free shampoo; deep condition your locks; rinse your hair in cool water (it will keep your cuticles smooth); apply a curl cream (if you've got tighter coils) or add a carrier oil as a base to it (if you've got a looser curl texture) to set your curls, and keep your hands COMPLETELY out of your hair until your tresses dry (otherwise, you could end up with a significant amount of frizz). Wrap your hair up with a silk scarf or satin bonnet at night and refresh in the morning with a light leave-in conditioner. And try and let your wash 'n go be for about a week. Remember, low manipulation is always the key to stronger hair. You can get some other wash 'n go hacks by checking out this video, this video, this video, this video and this video.
10. Being Too Reliant on Your Wigs
Wigs can be dope; especially the kind that exists these days because I promise you that some, I can't even tell that they are wigs at all (like this line right here). Not only can wigs help you to avoid over-manipulating your hair, but they can also protect your tresses from outer elements, encourage your styling creativity without a lot of drama, and save you a ton of time when it comes to your morning routine.
Just remember that a wig is not your natural hair (no matter how much it may look or feel like it). If you've got a human hair well-secured, it can last for up to six weeks (if you take care of your natural hair that's underneath); just don't go beyond that. As far as sleeping in wigs, it really is best to remove them. If you opt not to, don't go more than a few days without doing so. Your hair and scalp need to breathe. Your edges need a bit of a break from the stress and tension of the wig too.
11. Not Taking a Multivitamin
There is plenty of data that says most of us don't get nearly enough nutrients from food alone. This is where multivitamins come in. They are a great way to supplement what you may be lacking which can result in everything from a strengthened immune system and healthier heart to more energy and beautiful hair, skin and nails. There are loads of vitamins on the market, so it's kind of hard to recommend a specific brand. You might want to look for one that specifically says "for hair, skin and nails" on it. Whatever you do, just make sure there are vitamins A, B12, C and E, iron, biotin and zinc in the product that you decide to go with. One that contains collagen is definitely a bonus. Oh, and if you opt for a liquid form, not only does it hit your system faster, it tends to be more potent too.
12. Stressing Out
If there is one thing that I have learned to become more and more intentional about, it's not letting any person, place, thing or idea stress me out. It's just not worth it. PERIOD. This includes when it comes to protecting my hair. Did you know that constant stress can throw off your cortisol levels and literally push your hair into a resting phase that can hinder it from growing? No joke. So, if you've got some job or man who is driving you up the wall and you're noticing some shedding or even thinning as far as your hair is concerned, don't tell yourself that it's all in your head. There is a very real chance that you are going bald due to anxiety. Release what's got you in that state. Your hair will thank you for it.
BONUS: STOP COMPARING
Iyanla Vanzant once said, "Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self." Out of all of the mistakes that we could possibly make when it comes to our hair, I promise you that the biggest one is comparing your tresses to someone else's. When God made you, he took out just as much time as he did on his other daughters. Don't insult him by acting like you somehow got a shorter end of the deal because, I can say from very personal experience, that once you get a real understanding of how your own hair works, you'll come to adore its individuality. You really will.
You'll wake up knowing that your hair is a gift, that there isn't one thing wrong with it, and that you are truly blessed. That your Creator made not one mistake. Amen? Amen.
Featured image by Giphy
- How To Determine Your Hair Type - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Protective Styles Not Working - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Taking Care Of Your Natural Hair While Traveling - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Tracee Ellis Ross' 'Hair Tales' Is About More Than Hair - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Pattern Beauty Blow Dryer Review Tracee Ellis Ross - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by FotosbyFola
Sexual compatibility is one of the more spicier sides to Astrology that most people haven’t heard of. These are the details you get to once you have learned about your “Big 3” (sun, moon, and rising sign), and want to dive deeper into what Astrology can really tell you about yourself. Why not have more of an understanding of your sexual chemistry with others and what excites you in bed? Astrology not only gives you a blueprint of what your best match is in love, professionally and platonically, but it also provides insight into who you are most sexually compatible with.
When discovering more aspects of yourself through the stars, you don’t want to overlook the power of this celestial study when it comes to the bedroom.
There are a few key components you want to look at when it comes to sexual compatibility in Astrology. Your traditional sun and moon sign first and foremost, as this simple aspect can tell you a lot about who you are, your emotions, and your needs; Mars, the planet that rules sex in Astrology; Venus, the planet that rules love in Astrology; the 8th house, the astrological house that rules sex, sexuality, and sensuality; the 5th house, the astrological house that rules romance, flirtation, and sex. And lastly, you can also look at where Scorpio is in your birth chart, the sign that rules the reproductive system.
Read below to see who you're best sexually compatible with. (Read for your sun, moon, Mars, and Venus signs.)
ARIES
Like all fire signs, Aries needs a lot of heat in the bedroom. Aries are ruled by Mars, the planet of sex, passion, and energy, so you can be sure that this sign has a high sex drive. Aries love the spontaneity of sex, and they have a lot of fun in this area of life. Sexual compatibility is high with fellow fire signs, Leo and Sagittarius, and the same element makes the best match for an Aries overall. They want someone who is going to be just as intense and exciting in the bedroom, and they find that with Leo and Sagittarius.
Scorpios also make good matches for Aries being that they are sitting in Aries’ 8th house of sexuality. A dynamic duo like Aries and Scorpio brings not just the heat, but also an emotional connection as well.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Scorpio.
TAURUS
Taurus are no strangers to the bedroom. This is a very sensual sign whose love language is physical touch (and gift-giving). They love to feel wanted and needed in the bedroom and prefer for the atmosphere to be set with candles, roses, and chocolates. This is a sign that take their time in bed, and they want both parties to feel good first and foremost. One of the best matches for Taurus, sexually is their opposite sign, Scorpio. These two bring together earth and water and create a good balance in bed.
Leos and Taurus are often drawn to each other, and there is an underlying sexual tension between these two. Virgos are also high on the scale of compatibility with Taurus, and they have a sexual chemistry that is comfortable and sincere, which is what Taurus is looking for.
Best sexual compatibility with Scorpio, Virgo, Cancer, Leo, and Sagittarius.
GEMINI
Gemini is a wildcard in the bedroom. No two Geminis are the same, and this is true when it comes to sexual chemistry. However, there are a few key components Geminis look for when it comes to sex. They want to be with someone who is completely and authentically themselves and someone who isn’t shy in the bedroom. They do well with Sagittariuses as they can match each other’s freaks. However, they also have a unique chemistry with Capricorns, who are in their 8th house of sensuality. Capricorns and Geminis are like two different people, teaching each other something new, and they have a lot of fun. One of the best matches for Gemini overall, though, would be another air sign, Aquarius.
Best sexual compatibility with Libra, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Aries, and Capricorn.
CANCER
Cancer is the type to keep their love life and sexual world hidden or more secret than most. They don’t let others in easily, and deeply value keeping this part of their life hidden or sacred. They look for partners who are devoted to them or are showing this type of dedication and attraction to them in the bed. They have amazing chemistry with other water signs, Pisces, and Scorpio, and often form intense and emotional bonds with these signs in bed. They also love to show off their wild side with signs like Aquarius and Virgo, as they see these intellectuals as people needing to let loose and get into their emotions more, and they want to be the one to help them do that.
Capricorns are one of the best matches for Cancer overall because they won’t rush anything and will be able to form a deep connection with Cancer first and foremost, which would make their sexual chemistry off the charts.
Best sexual compatibility with Pisces, Capricorn, Scorpio, Virgo, and Aquarius.
LEO
Leos are more traditional in the bedroom than most people expect. Like all fire signs, they have a passion and self-confidence that is undeniable, but in the bedroom, they want to be treated like the royalty they are. Leos love to be courted or to be shown how adored and admired they are. They go well with Geminis because of this, as this air sign is often a talker in bed, and will never miss an opportunity to whisper something sweet in their ear. Leos also have a soft spot for Pisces in the bedroom, and this water sign tends to bring out a more kinky and sensual side to Leo.
One of the best sexual matches for Leo overall would be Sagittarius, who Leo feels is someone who can truly match their energy.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini, and Pisces.
VIRGO
Virgos are the definition of a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Being represented by the Virgin or the Maiden in Astrology, people often have Virgos sexuality misconstrued. Their typical organized self goes out the window when they are comfortable with someone sexually, and their service-oriented attitude makes them some of the best lovers in bed. Virgos have a sincere and compatible connection with other earth signs, Taurus and Capricorn. Earth signs have a way of making everything feel better, and there is a lot of touching between these signs.
Cancers also have great sexual compatibility with Virgos, as they have similar styles and needs in the bedroom. Virgos have instant sexual compatibility with Scorpios, and this is a very common combo you see in life.
Best sexual compatibility with Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer, and Aries.
LIBRA
Opposites attract when it comes to Libra in the bedroom. This sign is always looking for balance, and they find that with a partner who brings something different to the table than they do. This makes their opposite sign, Aries, the sign that rules their 5th house of romance and flirtation, one of their best matches when it comes to sexual compatibility. Libra loves foreplay. They enjoy dressing up, role-playing, and a lot of talking in the bedroom, which makes Gemini and Aquarius another great match for Libra, because they also don’t keep quiet in bed.
Taurus has one of the best sexual compatibility for Libra, overall, however, as they are both ruled by Venus, the planet of love. These two quite literally have the capacity to not just have sex, but make love to one another, which is the most ideal for Libra.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Aries, Aquarius, Taurus, and Gemini.
SCORPIO
Scorpios are known for their reputation in the bedroom. When people think of Scorpio, they often think of sexy energy, and this is because Scorpio quite literally rules the reproductive system and the 8th house of sex in Astrology. They are no strangers in the bedroom, and they are people who know what they want. Scorpio and Pisces often have an instant connection, and these two are usually rushing into bed with one another.
Another sign that surprisingly flows well with Scorpio in bed is Geminis, who provide Scorpio with a non-judgmental atmosphere that makes them feel in tune and sexy. Scorpio has high sexual compatibility with earth signs: Virgo, Capricorn, and Taurus, as they show Scorpio a more sensual and grounded approach that is enticing to them.
Best sexual compatibility with Pisces, Virgo, Capricorn, Gemini, and Taurus.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittariuses aren’t the pickiest in the bedroom and just like they can get along with anyone if they want to, the same fact applies in bed. They are looking for a more immediate and instant attraction than anything; however, just because you got them once doesn’t mean you can get them again. Sagittarius are wanderers, and they are constantly seeking new stimulation. This is why they have such strong sexual chemistry with Aries, who are also more spontaneous in the bedroom.
They are very flirtatious and want things to be fun and light-hearted here, and they find that chemistry with Aries. Sagittarius also has a soft spot for Cancers in bed, and they let out their more sincere, compassionate, and deep side for this water sign.
Best sexual compatibility with Libra, Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Cancer.
CAPRICORN
If you can get Capricorn to take their mind off work and focus on intimacy in the bedroom, then you are already a great match for this logical sign. They don’t open up to many people, and some Capricorns can approach sex as a duty rather than a desire or a connection. This is why this sign does so well with water signs in bed like Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio because these are people who know how to let go of the mind and live in their emotions for a while.
Capricorns also have strong sexual compatibility with Taurus and Leo because there is a sense of dominance imbalance here that is sexy to Capricorn. Leo and Capricorn both want to take the lead in bed, and they have fun playing around with each other and teasing.
Best sexual compatibility with Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces, and Leo.
AQUARIUS
Aquarius is a more sexually inclined individual than most people would assume. They are known for their mind, intelligence, and eccentricity, but this doesn’t mean they don’t have the same amount of intelligence and knowledge when it comes to sex. Aquarius are very intuitive in the bedroom, which makes their compatibility with Virgo so strong here. These two know what each other needs without saying anything, and they have a lot to bring to the table.
Gemini, on the other hand, brings out a wild side to Aquarius, and they have a lot of fun in bed and even more to talk about afterwards. Aquarius has one of the best sexual compatibility with Aries, as they can open up to each other about their weird kinks or needs in bed in a judgment-free zone.
Best sexual compatibility with Aries, Gemini, Libra, Leo, and Virgo.
PISCES
Pisces are more fluid and open in the bedroom. Their sexual compatibility deals with emotions first and foremost, and they look for an emotional connection in their partners, no matter how long or short they have known them. They are one of the signs who doesn’t really have a “type,” and they are most attracted to generally nice and romantic people. Earth signs Taurus and Virgo have great sexual chemistry with Pisces, as there is a good give-and-take between them. Scorpios bring out Pisces' freakier side, and the imagination of these two definitely shows in the bedroom.
Pisces' best match sexually would be Cancer, as these two have a more erotic and romantic type of connection here. They are slow lovers and have such a strong bond sexually because of the emotional compatibility they have as well.
Best sexual compatibility with Cancer, Scorpio, Virgo, Taurus, and Libra.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by LightFieldStudios/Getty Images