

It's kinda crazy what inspired me to pitch and then pen this article. I was watching Usher's visual for "Bad Habits" while trying to figure out why a particular small area of my hair was thinner than it needed to be. I came to the conclusion that it was because I was manipulating it too much by always taking that particular cornrow down and braiding it up again. And that got me to thinking about so many of the bad natural hair habits that a lot of us have; ones that prevent us from getting the long-term hair results that we want.
If you're sick of your own tresses not flourishing as much as you would like, take a moment to see if any of these habits are ones that you definitely need to break.
1. Keeping Your Protective Style in Longer Than You Should
I don't know one naturalista who hasn't heard that one of the best ways to achieve length retention is by putting their hair up in a protective style. As I said a second ago, my hair is currently in cornrows (a personal favorite style of choice). I dig them because, not only do they keep me from having my hands in my tresses all of the time, but protective styles are also a great way to protect my ends as well (damaged ends are the main reason why most of us don't get the inches that we want). Still, too much of a good thing can easily work against you.
In this case, if you've got your hair in some braids or twists (via your natural hair), they really need to remain in there for no longer than a couple of weeks. Braids and twists with extensions, you're pushing it if you keep them in for longer than two months. The reason why is because your hair and scalp need to be thoroughly washed and to take a break from the stress that protective styles can cause if you've got them in for too long. One day, I'm gonna share how protective styles can actually be the reason why your hair isn't growing. For now, though, just don't keep them in for a billion years. It's the kind of bad habit that doesn't get discussed, nearly enough.
2. Using Too Many Damn Products in Your Hair
The beauty industry is a billion-dollar one and we as Black women play a HUGE role in why that is the case. That said, I know there are tons of products out here that make all sorts of promises. But you've gotta remember that companies are looking to make revenue. This means that if they've gotta lie to you and say they have a serum that will fix your split ends (nothing fixes split ends; you have to trim them), that is exactly what they will do.
Anyway, while I'm all about finding products that work best for your hair if you use a lot of them at the same time or you keep switching up, all that's gonna do is either weigh your hair down and clog up your hair follicles (not good) or end up damaging your hair because not all products are created equal and your hair shouldn't be treated as some guinea pig or science project. It typically takes about two months to figure out if something is really your jam on the product testing tip. Try a couple of things out at a time and stick to what works for you, even if it's only a few products. Less is more is always best when it comes to hair care.
3. Not Knowing Your Hair Type and Texture
Let me tell it, I think women struggle with knowing what their hair type is about as much as they struggle with figuring out their correct bra size. When it comes to hair type, the numbers run from 1-4. 1 is straight. 2 is wavy. 3 is curly and 4 is coily. Then there are letters that go with each number, ranging from A-C. A is fine. B is medium. C is coarse. As far as your "numbers" go, YouTubers like Angela C. Styles, IAMTRAEH, and LavishlyBritt all have videos that break hair types down pretty well. As far as your hair's texture, a cool figuring-it-out hack is to take a piece of thread and lay it on a flat surface. Then place a strand of your own hair beside it. If your hair appears thinner than the thread, your hair is fine. If it's the same size, your hair is medium. If it's bigger, it's coarser.
Having this information is essential because it can help you to better understand how to properly care for your hair, what products work best, and ultimately how to keep it thriving. For some tips on all of these things, go to YouTube and put your hair type and texture, along with "natural hair" in the search field and you will see literal days' worth of videos pop up so that you can get to know your hair, even better.
4. Using the “Wrong” Styling Tools for Your Natural Hair
A lot of stylists will tell you that using your hands to detangle and style your hair as much as possible is oftentimes a good look because you can be gentler with your locks than you can with styling tools. But when it comes to the things that you absolutely do need, make sure you've got—a wide-tooth comb; some plastic hair clips (the metal ones tend to snag and tear); a Denman brush; a hair steamer (to lock in moisture); a microfiber towel (it's easier on your hair during wash days) and a blow dryer for your hair type (Red by Kiss Blow Dryer gets a lot of praise if you're a 4-type).
While this is a basic list, the main thing to keep in mind is a lot of metal, a ton of heat or anything that will cause your hair to snag and tear are absolutely no-nos. You really don't need a ton of styling tools; just things that will make getting the results that you want as easy as possible without creating any drama in the process on those pretty tresses of yours.
5. Mishandling Wet Hair During Wash Days
Your hair is definitely the most fragile when it's wet. That's why it's best to detangle your tresses with your fingers as much as possible, to deep condition after shampooing so that your hair is more manageable, and to apply a product that has some "slip" to it when you're using a detangling comb or you're doing something like braiding or twisting your hair for a braid out or twist out. Otherwise, you could end up ripping some of your hair out or weakening the cuticles during the styling process. As far as slip goes, if you'd like a little help figuring out which product would work best, Naturally Curly gave some slip awards to a few. You can check them out here.
6. Trimming Your Hair More than Dusting
One of the reasons why I stopped going to see a professional stylist was because far too many of them don't seem to know the difference between dusting and trimming. Hmph. I've always wondered if a lot of stylists have a secret vendetta against their clients gaining inches because I don't always need a bob— thank you, very much. Whew. Plus, as I've learned more about what does and doesn't work for my hair, I've become a big fan of dusting. Dusting is about getting rid of the raggedy or split ends that you may have without getting rid of 2-4 inches of hair in the process.
If you're nervous about attempting this, the main thing to keep in mind is you need a pair of sharp shears and a good amount of patience. Click here, here and here to watch some videos on how to dust.
Oh, and for any stylists that may have side-eyed me for what I said, I know there are some great ones out there and that some folks wouldn't be able to walk outta the house without one. At the same time, I believe a good one also isn't scissor happy. I'm thinking that we all can agree on that.
7. Having a Complex Relationship with Heat
Contrary to popular belief, I personally don't think that heat is the enemy; I think using heat the wrong way is, though. Back when I got on board with the whole "heat is the devil" movement, I actually experienced a lot more breakage than I do now that I blow my hair out every wash day and then leave it in a protective style (other than the weekends) until the next wash day. I believe it's because this method stretches out my hair so that there is less tangling and it also helps me to nurture my ends easier.
Anyway, that's not to say that huge mistakes aren't oftentimes made in this lane, mostly because people use the wrong kind of heating tools, apply them when they're too hot and/or use them too often. If you're in search of a good blow dryer for your natural hair, Byrdie recently published an article that features 12 (click here). After getting one, always make sure that your blow dryer is on low-to-medium heat and that you ONLY use it once your hair is about 60 percent dry on its own (the drier it is, the less you will be able to singe it). And try not to apply heat more than 2-5 times a month. More than that can definitely damage your hair and even alter your natural curl pattern.
8. Being High-Maintenance with Your Edges
Lawd, the internet. I'm pretty sure some of y'all saw the post of the young lady who mistook Gorilla Snot (which is already quite a beast when it comes to laying hair down) for Gorilla Glue. Well, at the time that I'm writing this, her hair literally hasn't moved in a month. Like…at all which resulted in her going to the ER (check her take on it here and a radio interview with her here). When I watched the video, the first thing that came to my mind is how obsessed a lot of us are with keeping our edges as laid as possible.
Listen, there's no time to get into how I believe that European culture has played a certain role in us having a preoccupation with baby hairs as grown women (goodness). For now, I'll just say that probably the most fragile parts of your hair are your edges and nape. So, constantly weakening your edges' hair follicles by always brushing them down, drying that part of your hair out with gels, and always applying pressure with braids, lace fronts and wigs are all surefire ways for your edges to either thin out or bald altogether.
If you must gel those babies down, make sure to use a non-alcohol gel (Allure published a feature on some of the best edge controls around; check it out here) and definitely give that area a break a few days a week. Sleek edges are cool, but you know what's even better? Having edges, period.
9. Jacking Up Your Wash ‘N Go
When it comes to low-manipulation hairstyles, wash 'n gos always top the list because you don't have to do a lot of styling and touching of your tresses in order to end up with a really cute look. That doesn't mean that too much of a good thing can't go awry though. The wrong products, tugging too much on your hair while it's wet and not knowing how to cultivate a bedtime routine that will result in you messing with your hair as little as possible the following morning all have to be factored in to make this a good idea for your natural hair texture.
If you want to make sure that this heat-free look goes off without a hitch—wash your hair with a sulfate-free shampoo; deep condition your locks; rinse your hair in cool water (it will keep your cuticles smooth); apply a curl cream (if you've got tighter coils) or add a carrier oil as a base to it (if you've got a looser curl texture) to set your curls, and keep your hands COMPLETELY out of your hair until your tresses dry (otherwise, you could end up with a significant amount of frizz). Wrap your hair up with a silk scarf or satin bonnet at night and refresh in the morning with a light leave-in conditioner. And try and let your wash 'n go be for about a week. Remember, low manipulation is always the key to stronger hair. You can get some other wash 'n go hacks by checking out this video, this video, this video, this video and this video.
10. Being Too Reliant on Your Wigs
Wigs can be dope; especially the kind that exists these days because I promise you that some, I can't even tell that they are wigs at all (like this line right here). Not only can wigs help you to avoid over-manipulating your hair, but they can also protect your tresses from outer elements, encourage your styling creativity without a lot of drama, and save you a ton of time when it comes to your morning routine.
Just remember that a wig is not your natural hair (no matter how much it may look or feel like it). If you've got a human hair well-secured, it can last for up to six weeks (if you take care of your natural hair that's underneath); just don't go beyond that. As far as sleeping in wigs, it really is best to remove them. If you opt not to, don't go more than a few days without doing so. Your hair and scalp need to breathe. Your edges need a bit of a break from the stress and tension of the wig too.
11. Not Taking a Multivitamin
There is plenty of data that says most of us don't get nearly enough nutrients from food alone. This is where multivitamins come in. They are a great way to supplement what you may be lacking which can result in everything from a strengthened immune system and healthier heart to more energy and beautiful hair, skin and nails. There are loads of vitamins on the market, so it's kind of hard to recommend a specific brand. You might want to look for one that specifically says "for hair, skin and nails" on it. Whatever you do, just make sure there are vitamins A, B12, C and E, iron, biotin and zinc in the product that you decide to go with. One that contains collagen is definitely a bonus. Oh, and if you opt for a liquid form, not only does it hit your system faster, it tends to be more potent too.
12. Stressing Out
If there is one thing that I have learned to become more and more intentional about, it's not letting any person, place, thing or idea stress me out. It's just not worth it. PERIOD. This includes when it comes to protecting my hair. Did you know that constant stress can throw off your cortisol levels and literally push your hair into a resting phase that can hinder it from growing? No joke. So, if you've got some job or man who is driving you up the wall and you're noticing some shedding or even thinning as far as your hair is concerned, don't tell yourself that it's all in your head. There is a very real chance that you are going bald due to anxiety. Release what's got you in that state. Your hair will thank you for it.
BONUS: STOP COMPARING
Iyanla Vanzant once said, "Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self." Out of all of the mistakes that we could possibly make when it comes to our hair, I promise you that the biggest one is comparing your tresses to someone else's. When God made you, he took out just as much time as he did on his other daughters. Don't insult him by acting like you somehow got a shorter end of the deal because, I can say from very personal experience, that once you get a real understanding of how your own hair works, you'll come to adore its individuality. You really will.
You'll wake up knowing that your hair is a gift, that there isn't one thing wrong with it, and that you are truly blessed. That your Creator made not one mistake. Amen? Amen.
Featured image by Giphy
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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