

Something that I was blessed with is beautiful hands. Before you say that I'm bragging, there's no reason for me to get cocky about it because I had nothing to do with it. My mother has these hands. Her mother had these hands. I mean, they look so much like the both of them that sometimes, even while I'm typing, I tend to do a double take. Anyway, one of the things that I like so much about them is I've got long fingers and nails that grow really long, super fast. My main challenge is my nails have got such a curve to them that I'm constantly having to keep them clean, so that "gunk" doesn't lodge in them. But as far as having strong nails with lots of length, I'm good.
Other people in my world aren't able to say the same. Oftentimes, they will ask me what they can do because, no matter what, their nails are dry and brittle and/or constantly breaking and/or not really gaining the length that they would like for them to naturally have. If you're nodding your head up and down in agreement because this is what your nail struggle is like yet you want this year to be the one when you're using acrylic less and sporting your natural nails more, this lil' write-up can hopefully help to point you into the right direction.
The Basics About Your Nails, First.
It's kind of hard to give your nails what they need if you don't have a clear understanding of what they're comprised of. As far as what nails are made of, the interesting thing is, that they are comprised of the protein keratin; that's the same protein that your hair and the top layers of your skin (and organs) are made up of too.
The reason your nails have a pinkish color is that blood capillaries sit right underneath your nail bed (which is why if your nails look extremely pale, that could be a sign that you are low in iron or blood is not flowing as smoothly as it should). As far as growth goes, they tend to average 3 ½ millimeters a month (half that for toenails and men's nails grow faster). It's also important to keep in mind that just like the hair that you actually see is dead, so are the nails that come out of your nail bed (which is why you can cut both and it doesn't hurt when you do). The hand that you use the most tends to grow nails faster (because it's more active), nails grow faster in the summer than the winter season and things like genetics, your age and the state of your health all play a direct role in how your nails appear.
Already, off top, I'm hoping you caught that making sure you get enough keratin into your system is one way to get your nails to thrive. In fact, even though our bodies are comprised of so much of this particular protein, think about the last time you actually read an article listing foods with keratin. Today's your lucky day. Some of those include eggs, salmon, sweet potatoes, onions, mangoes, kale, and garlic. Consuming more of these can help to strengthen your nails (so that they break less often) while also increasing hair growth and speeding up the healing of any skin wounds that you might have.
What You Should Pay Close Attention to Concerning Your Nails
Now that we've broken down what makes our nails, well nails, how can you know when something is going on with your nails that might be hindering them from growing as long as you want? That's a really good question. I'm gonna touch on a few different things.
Again, your nails should have a natural pink tint to them. Some are a deeper pink hue than others. However, if your nails appear some shade of yellow, brown or green, that typically means that you've got some sort of fungal infection going on. It should also go on record that yellow nails could be an indication of an underlying health issue such as diabetes, psoriasis or your thyroid levels being off. If your nails have white spots, what that tend to indicate is that you injured them; the spots should go away with time. Also, don't ignore sudden black or brown stripes that may appear out of nowhere. While oftentimes, it's a sign of simple pigmentation issues and discoloration, it can also send a flag of the early stages of the cancer known as melanoma.
Stress can hinder nail growth. I promise you that if there's one thing I'm learning to let go of, more and more, it's anything or one that causes a consistent amount of stress in my life. My health doesn't need it and my nails can't afford it. Word on the (medical) street is stress is so bad for your nails that if can actually cause your nails to stop growing altogether. It's not worth it is. Get that stress outta of your life, ASAP.
There are certain curves that you need to pay attention to. Like I mentioned earlier, some of us have nails that come with a natural bend. However, if you notice that, all of a sudden, your nails appear concave (almost round like a spoon), it could mean that you've got a bit of an iron deficiency. Or, if they suddenly look up an upside-down spoon (the tips of your nails are super round), your nails may not be getting enough oxygen (which could be connected to lung or heart issues; it's worth making an appointment with your physician, just to know for sure).
Your nails shouldn't separate from your nail bed. While there isn't a super cause for alarm if you notice that your nails are separating from their nail bed, you should keep in mind that it could be an indication of psoriasis or hyperthyroidism. Small dents on the surface of your nails are usually a psoriasis sign too. If that is the case, treating the psoriasis itself can help your nails to get back on track.
Your nails can also be dehydrated. It really is kinda crazy that most of us know that we're made up of 60-65 percent water and yet, many of us aren't intentional about making sure we've got enough fluids in our system on a daily basis. And here's the thing about that—if your skin is dry, that usually means you are dehydrated on some level; it also means your nails are dry which can cause them to be dry and brittle. So definitely drink 6-8 glasses of water each day and also keep your hands and nails (including your cuticles) moisturized on the outside as well.
At-Home Remedies That Encourage Nail Growth
OK. So, we've touched on some red flags that you should pay close attention to when it comes to your nails' overall health. What if you're good in all of these areas and it still seems like you can't naturally create that almond, squoval or stiletto shape that you want? Here are a few other things to check off of your nail maintenance list.
Give your nails a break. Geeze. While I can't remember the last time I had some nail tips, I did used to get my nails powder-dipped on a pretty regular basis. When the pandemic hit, I stopped and, in hindsight, I'm glad that I did. Although my nails continued to grow with the dip, I didn't realize how weak my nails actually were until to took everything off. While some sort of overlay can be considered the "protective style" of nails, just like with hair, sometimes our nails need to breathe. No acrylic, powder or even color every few months can benefit your nails, more than you know.
Wash your dishes with gloves on. I'm pretty guilty of this one but nails that are constantly wet can become damaged over time. They get wet enough when you're bathing or showering, so if you plan on busting some suds, put some rubber gloves on. It will protect your nails in the long run.
Get some iron, calcium and biotin into your system. Remember how I said that the pink part of your nails shows how the blood is flowing to them? Something that keeps your blood healthy is iron, which is why it makes perfect sense that if your iron levels are low, your nails would be weaker than usual. Pure grape juice, dark leafy greens, beef, beans, dried fruit, molasses and peas are all foods that are loaded with iron. If you want something that will make your nails stronger, calcium can definitely help you out. Foods that are high in it include yogurt, salmon, orange juice, almonds, cheese, sunflower seeds and broccoli. One more nutrient that has your nails' back is biotin. It's awesome because it also can significantly reduce nail breakage. Foods that are packed with biotin include nuts, seeds, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, bananas, avocados and walnuts (you can also take a supplement for these nutrients if you would prefer).
Massage your hands (and feet). Steady blood flow is always beneficial for any part of your body. Taking a little time to massage your hands and feet (maybe while watching a movie or listening to some music) can increase blood circulation and stimulate nail (including toenail) growth. As far as oils that are good for your nails, some of those include olive oil (it contains lots of antioxidants to protect your nails and cuticles); jojoba (it softens dry cuticles); lavender (it strengthens and soothes nails); almond (its nutrients coat your nail bed); thyme (it contains anti-fungal, anti-inflammatory and anti-bacterial properties to keep your nails healthy) and, if you've got a bit of a fungal infection, clove and tea tree oil are both excellent at helping to clear those up.
Round your nails out. As I'm typing all of this out, my nails actually have a square shape to them. Still, if you want to reduce your chances of your nails breaking, it's better to give them a round shape instead. For some reason, that's the ones that typically results in less peeling or breakage.
Keep them shaped up with crystal (glass). Wanna know something that will send your nails to hell and back? A traditional emery board. They are just too harsh. What's the alternative? Ever since I've switched over to a crystal glass nail file, I can see a real difference. It's way gentler on my nails, it shapes my nails much easier and, as bonuses, they are super hygienic and last much longer than emery boards do. Stylecraze offered up a list of some of the best that are currently on the market. You can check them out by going here.
Go without acetone. Just like parabens (for the most part) suck when it comes to being a drying ingredient in your shampoo, acetone zaps most of the moisture out of your nails as well. So, when you are rocking polish and you're ready to remove it, go with something gentler—an acetone-free polish remover. Those are pretty easy to find at your local beauty supply or even grocery store.
Take the DIY route. One more for the road. Hopefully you already know that growing out your nails requires patience and some constant TLC. Well, if you want to provide your nails with some extra nutrients, how about giving them a mask? Real talk. A very easy nail strengthening mask consists of two tablespoons of shea butter (shea butter is loaded with vitamins), one teaspoon of avocado oil (it fights fungus and encourages nail growth) and three drops of rose oil (it nourishes your nails). Combine all of the ingredients, apply them to your hands and nails, cover your hands with some socks for 30 minutes, and then rinse the excess off in cool water. If you do this once a week, your hands will be unbelievably soft and your nails will get even stronger—and longer in no time. Good luck on your nail journey!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Be Careful. Those Casual Friendships Can Be Red Flags Too.
A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to someone vent about an area of frustration that they couldn’t seem to get to the root of — why they keep getting taken advantage of by certain individuals. When you’ve been a life coach for as long as I have (and you were a journalist before that), you learn how to ask certain questions that can cause people to consider things that they may never have before.
So, when I asked her, “What is the common thread with all of those folks? And sit still for two minutes before answering,” when she finally heard her own self speak, her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open: “They’re all people who I’m not really sure what they are in my life.”
Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
There’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
A couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
I’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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