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Check Out The 10 Things You Should Try To Do Every Weekend
Something that trips me out about the two-day break known as the weekend is, when it comes to about 75 percent of the people I know, Saturday and Sunday are just as busy—if not a billion times busier—for them as the weekdays are. And ain't that a shame because, if you're constantly on the go, it's hard to give yourself the time to rest, recalibrate and even push reset on your life, so that you don't feel like you're constantly running on nothing more than fumes.
Let's do something to change this hamster wheel pattern, shall we? While the 10 things that I'm about to share might seem like a lot of work at first, if you start to apply them to your weekend routine, I think you'll find that each tip can actually help you to chill out easier and feel so much better about what is to come—every Monday.
1. Sleep In
Even though I grew up in a denomination where working from Friday sunset through Saturday sunset was an absolute no-no, in many ways, it didn't matter because going to church on the Sabbath meant getting up early enough to get to Sabbath school at church which sometimes meant arising at 7:30-8am. Then Sundays were about getting ready for Monday, so it was kind of a vicious cycle. Now that I am good and grown, I've got my own place and I've figured out how I want to do this whole spirituality thing for myself, I make sure that I rest on the weekends and that includes sleeping in on Saturday/the Sabbath. For how long? Shoot, until I feel like getting up because between writing deadlines, counseling folks and doula-ing, sometimes, I don't get the pleasure of doing this any other time of the week.
While it is a myth that you can catch up on lost sleep, being able to have at least one day when you can give yourself the opportunity to lounge around, even if it's just for a couple more hours than usual, that can make all of the difference in the world. Whether it's Saturday or Sunday, try and make it a priority. You'll notice a big difference if/when you do.
2. Catch Up with a Friend
If you're the kind of person whose body is on a clock and you're not able to sleep later, no matter how much you try, that still doesn't mean that you've gotta jump out of bed. Use the extra time to call a friend who you haven't spoken with in a while. The hustle and bustle of the week can make it challenging to connect with others. The weekend is a great time to really get quiet and focus on what your friend is saying and what you'd like to share too. And since you're not as much in a rush, if the call is about spending real quality time, you won't have to feel bad if you're only able to do this with them, once every couple of weeks or so.
3. Do Something You Enjoy
I can't exactly remember where I heard it but on some podcast that I recently checked out, one of the people said that one thing 2020 surprisingly revealed to them was they didn't really have any hobbies. The main reason why is because they actually enjoy what they do for a living so much that they never really contemplated finding something relaxing to do that was absolutely not work-related. In some ways, I can totally relate. Still, it really is wise—especially the older that you get—to find things to do that have little to do (at least directly) with your career path or even your purpose journey, so that you can de-stress and avoid purpose fatigue as much as possible. Besides, not only are hobbies a lot of fun, they can increase your sense of creativity, make you a more spiritual being, broaden your perspective, improve your memory and remind you of the benefits that come with staying in the present.
Sadly, some of us work so hard and so much that we feel guilty about doing things for the sheer enjoyment of it. Try and break out of that mindset. Hobbies can benefit you just as much as your profession does. Just differently.
4. Eat a “Fun Food”
Back when I had a trainer (many moons ago), something that I definitely looked forward to was having a "cheat day"; you know, the day when you can pretty much eat whatever you want. While I still try and be cautious of not showin' all the way out when it comes to my diet, Saturday is one day when I'm gonna pretty much do whatever I want and not think too much about it. Even if you don't decide to totally wile out over the course of an entire day or even one meal, try and eat something that puts a big smile on your face without obsessing too much about the fat or caloric content. Foods bring pleasure and life is too short not to have some of it in your life. Feel me? Somehow, I know that you do.
5. Pamper Yourself
It can be a mani/pedi. It can be a massage. It can be a facial. It can be purchasing a smell-good that makes you feel amazing. It can be soaking in the tub until you become a human prune. The weekend is 48 hours long and so there is absolutely no excuse for not carving out a good hour to pamper yourself. The reality is that a lot of us feel super burnt out and underappreciated during the week because we didn't make our own selves a top priority during the weekend. I'm sure you've heard that you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself. That's not just some self-help cliché. It is the absolute truth, sis.
6. Read a Chapter of a Book
This point right here, I'm actually preaching to the choir on. Ever since I was a little girl, I used to look forward to leisure reading. Now that I write for a living and I'm constantly researching information, sometimes the mere thought of reading a book can wear me out, no matter how much I may want to do it. I'm learning to break out of this mindset, though, since reading is calming, improves communication, teaching me new things, helps me to analyze better and become more of a critical thinker, increases my vocabulary and ultimately makes me a better writer too.
I'm pretty sure you've got a couple of books that you've been meaning to get to for a few months now, at least. If you're waiting to "have" time, it's never gonna happen. Even if it's just for an hour over the weekend, make the time to crack open a chapter or two. I don't know a single person who feels worse after reading a book. Not one.
7. Meal Prep
Although these days, a lot of people see meal prepping as something that folks who are on a strict diet or work out a lot do, many of us grew up in a household where preparing meals for the upcoming week was pretty much the norm. That said, one thing about the week is, no matter how much you try and prepare for it, sometimes it really can throw you for a loop. So, if you already prep—or even cook—3-4 main dishes over the weekend, all you've literally got to do, come Monday, is put things together in under 15 minutes or heat the food up. It can help to save time and keep you from wasting money on fast food when you're too tired to make anything.
8. Budget for the Upcoming Week
Speaking of wasting money, I recently read an article that was somewhat terrifying. It was entitled, "Survey: 65% of Americans Have No Idea How Much They Spent Last Month". When you add that little revelation to the fact that other reports say that, although roughly 67 percent of people have a budget, 33 percent don't maintain it, I bet you can get why this is on the list. I've actually shared before that I've got a friend whose accountant has had him on a strict budget for a few years now and it's all because he literally wastes thousands a year on eating out.
Think about it. If you spend $10 per meal a day and you do it five days a week, that's $150. 150 times 52 weeks (that are in a year) equals out to be—lawd, y'all—$7,800. You could buy a car for that amount!
When you've got a budget in place, you'll be amazed how much you can make twenty bucks stretch. Without it, it can be gone in five minutes with nothing to really show for it. Yes, a monthly budget is cool yet breaking that down even further into a weekly one (and then actually honoring it) can help you to save a whole lot of your coins.
9. Put Together a To-Do List
How many weeks have gone by and you've asked yourself where did the time go? Sometimes, it can be really easy to feel totally stressed out or completely defeated if you let the week happen to you rather than you choosing to take control over it. This is where a to-do list comes in. If you put down 5-7 things, in order of importance, that you'd like to accomplish each weekday and then you actually follow through on them, you'll be amazed by how at peace you'll feel when it's time to close your eyes at night. Not only that but to-do lists can help you to remain organized and focused, so that when "other things" come up, they won't distract you away from what you've already decided needs to be done.
10. Build Your Vision
Unfortunately, 85 percent of people absolutely hate their jobs. And since we spend most of our waking hours at work, that truly can be a grueling existence. You were put on this planet to do more than pay bills. You were even put on this planet to do more than blow someone else's company up. That's why it's so important to take out at least an hour, each and every weekend, to figure out what you want to do with your purpose, gifts and talents—how you can make them work for you instead of just for someone else. If you devote 60 minutes a weekend, there's no telling how prepared you will be to either leave your current gig or build a platform on the side that can make look at your job as a way to fund your own vision. Whether it's reading a book, finding a mentor, taking a class on a site like Skillshare, designing a website or blog, writing a professional mission statement, putting together a 12-month strategy to leave your current position or coming up with ways to use your social media beyond just laughing at/with Black Twitter—use some down time to put your vision together.
If you do, you could see life really different in a few months. All because you did what you should do on the weekends—make some of that time be all about…YOU.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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This Is How To Make Essential Oils Your Ultimate Nail Health Hack
Something that I will forever back until the end of time is essential oils. One reason is that they are all-natural (essential oils are basicallyplant extracts). Another reason is that the (proven) holistic health benefits that come with using them (consistently) aredamn near endless. And lawd, don’t even get me started on how wonderful many of them smell — and how they tend to last longer than a lot of the perfumes and colognes that are out there. Definitely, for as long as essential oils are in existence, I’ll be singing their praises.
Today, the lane that I’m gonna be in is how you can apply certain essential oils to your nail care regimen. Since it should be the goal of all of us to be intentional about doing what we can to havestrong and healthy nails, I’m going to share with you 10 oils that are proven to help you reach that very goal (just make sure that youmix them with a carrier oil like apricot, grapeseed or jojoba first; essential oils are way more potent than they are oftentimes given credit for).
The Best Essential Oils for Nail Health
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1. Tea Tree Oil
Believe it or not,nail fungus is pretty common.Some studies say that 1 in 10 people will experience it; that number jumps to 1 in 2 for individuals over 70. When it comes to this, signs to look out for are nails that look white, yellow, or brown, nails that seem to rise up from your nail bed, nails that are cloudy-looking in areas, and/or nails that easily break or split in more than one spot. Depending on how serious the fungal growth is, your doctor may prescribe an oral medication, a prescription-strength topical one, or even try a laser treatment of some sort.
However, if what you’re going through is minor, you might only needsome tea tree oil to get everything under control. Since it’s the type of essential oil that contains potent antifungal and antiseptic properties, applying it to nail fungus can significantly reduce fungal growth in a relatively short period of time without over-drying your nails in the process.
2. Myrrh Oil
Since myrrh oil contains so many powerful antioxidants and is able tokill harmful bacteria quickly, that already makes it a great essential oil for nail care. Also, since it contains properties that help to keep your skin healthy, it’s also a wonderful cuticle oil (especially if you mix it with a carrier oil like sweet almond oil, plum oil, or sesame oil). Another thing to keep in mind is if you’ve recently injured your nail(s) in some way, myrrh oil contains properties that help to reduce swelling at a pretty accelerated pace.
3. Juniper Berry Oil
An essential oil that has a good reputation for both healing as well as protecting your skin is juniper berry oil. In fact, if you’ve got a bit of foot odor going on or you’ve noticed some nail fungus creeping up, if you apply the oil to your feet (or nails) while you’re in the shower, it can help to eliminate the smells and speed up the healing process.
Another bonus about this particular oil is it has astringent properties that can help to keep your nails nice and clean.
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4. Lavender Oil
Another oil that’s ideal forfighting nail fungus is lavender oil. In fact, in Healthline’s article, “Can You Use Essential Oil for Toenail Fungus?” lavender is on the list. That’s not all. If you happen to havenail eczema,the properties of lavender oil have the ability to soothe and heal the symptoms that come along with it, including nail softness and shedding. It’s also a good idea to keep in mind that if you want to addmoisture to your nails or cuticles, lavender oil is one that can hydrate your nails without a ton of residue.
5. Clove Oil
Since clove oil is considered to be an antimicrobial oil, it’s another one that is able to kill bacteria. Something else that’s cool about this oil is it can bring quick relief to pain and discomfort if you’ve broken a nail or you’ve got a hangnail that’s getting on your last nerve.Two other big wins about clove oil are it can help to even out any skin discoloration that you may have around your cuticles and it can help to keep your nails and hands looking youthful too (because, yes,nails do age).
6. Sage Oil
Sage oil also has some pretty impressive antibacterial properties in it. It also has the ability to condition your skin as well as your nails. This means that if you happen to struggle with brittle nails or nails that seem to peel, applying this oil to it can help to naturally reverse those issues. Also, if your nails seem to look a bit on the dull side, sage nails can give them a natural sheen if polish isn’t (really) your thing.
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7. Geranium Oil
An essential oil that’s great at fighting off all types of infections isgeranium oil. What I especially like about it,as far as nail care is concerned, is that it’s got a solid reputation for moisturizing your nails so that they’re able to grow stronger and longer. Since it’s an oil thatcontains anti-aging properties, geranium oil can help to keep your hands (and feet) younger-looking for a longer period of time as well.
8. Lemon Oil
Hangnails are the absolute worst. Typically, those annoying things come as the result of having dry cuticles or constantly picking (or biting) the skin around your nails. If you make a cuticle oil out oflemon oil, not only can that help to nourish your cuticles and nails, but it can also repair any tissue damage that you may have as well as deeply cleanse your nails too. This, as a direct result, can help your nails to become stronger over time (plus, it doesn’t exactly taste the best, so it can help to keep your mouth off of your nails…which is a good thing).
9. Eucalyptus Oil
One of the most potent ways to treat a nail fungal infection is toapply some eucalyptus oil to it. In fact, one of the best things about taking this particular all-natural approach to a nail infection is it can kill the fungi without totally drying out your nails in the process. Also, if you’re looking for an oil that will protect your all-natural nails frompotential environmental damage, eucalyptus oil totally has your back as far as that is concerned.
10. Vanilla Oil
Now,I’m definitely preaching to the choir when I say that you should take a break from nail polish every once in a while. Just like your skin needs a mini-vacation from cosmetics and your hair needs one from the product (build-up), your nails need time to breathe on occasion, too; otherwise, the chemicals in the polish can lead to breakage, peeling, and weak nails overall. And while you’re on the break, try applying some vanilla oil to your nails and your nail beds.The antioxidants in the oil can help to speed up the healing process of your nails as well as reduce inflammation (if you’ve got any of that going on). It can also help to nourish your nails as they prepare for another few months of nail color.
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I’m telling you, although there are all kinds of nail products on the market, if you get your hands on a few staple essential oils, you can feel confident that you’re giving your nails some chemical-free, holistically beneficial oils that will get your nails right in so many ways. I’m looking at my nails as I’m typing all of this out, and I can certainly attest to it. Try it — ain’t no way that you (and your nails) won’t like it!
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